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naominash

How can I learn contentment and to enjoy solitude.

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Im separated from my husband on grounds of abuse.

I've resolved to be abstinent during my time that my state requires till we can divorce.

 

This is requiring more strength and will power than I thought. I believe the right way for me to move on is to learn to be content by myself and not idolize men so much.

How do you learn to enjoy solitude? 

The only thing that seems to help is avoiding the media, and ---of course--- asking the Lord for wisdom and the grace to wait on Him.

 

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Posted (edited)
On 4/26/2019 at 6:54 PM, naominash said:

How do you learn to enjoy solitude? 

Shalom naominash,

I'm sorry to hear that you've gone through this separation.  This must be a very hard time on you.  Digital hug.

In terms of dealing with solitude, I would advise to get immersed in Bible study, but in a non-standard way.  Rather that devotionals or a lighthearted "several verses a day", I mean utterly immersed.

Book a book, say Isaiah for example.  Learn the historical context of what was going on in Israel and the surrounding nations at that time. Learn about the people and kings mentioned in the book. Understand their past and motivations.  Don't skip over any verse you don't understand - stop and research it.  Buy a nice notebook, dedicated to the Book of Isaiah, and document and fill it with your notes and revelations.  Follow a good verse-by-verse commentary, I highly recommend the extensive Chuck Missler one, free to hear. Yes, it will take you a long time but such intense study will help you massively in your Walk.  Far better than spending time binge watching a boxset anyway. Here's a great one hour to get you started.

This is how I like to study the Bible in solitude and I still have so much to learn.  The Bible has endless layers of interpretation and understanding and you will never exhaust any book therein if you study it correctly.

I hope that helps

Love & Shalom 

Edited by Steve_S
Removed youtube link. Please post video links in the appropriate video forum (https://www.worthychristianforums.com/forum/144-videos/).
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Get involved in hobbies such as gardening or painting, exercise to burn off excess energy and stress, stay caught up with work, join positive social groups, and devote more time to your spiritual well being by praying, studying the Bible, and so on.

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17 hours ago, naominash said:

Im separated from my husband on grounds of abuse.

I've resolved to be abstinent during my time that my state requires till we can divorce.

 

This is requiring more strength and will power than I thought. I believe the right way for me to move on is to learn to be content by myself and not idolize men so much.

How do you learn to enjoy solitude? 

The only thing that seems to help is avoiding the media, and ---of course--- asking the Lord for wisdom and the grace to wait on Him.

 

Give God control of your life in everything. Have a daily relationship with Him. That will give you contentment. 

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Hi, Naomi.   If you could just let the pain of the past go and let your Abba Father take control of your life now.  Don’t leave Him out of the equation of your life plans.  Always ask Him what it is He wants you to do.  Always involve the Lord and always acknowledge Him in all your ways.

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On ‎4‎/‎27‎/‎2019 at 9:24 AM, naominash said:

Im separated from my husband on grounds of abuse.

I've resolved to be abstinent during my time that my state requires till we can divorce.

 

This is requiring more strength and will power than I thought. I believe the right way for me to move on is to learn to be content by myself and not idolize men so much.

How do you learn to enjoy solitude? 

The only thing that seems to help is avoiding the media, and ---of course--- asking the Lord for wisdom and the grace to wait on Him.

 

Hi naominash,

This is a very, very special time for you, as you have drawn aside from your former life and are now looking to what is ahead. The `solitude` is the wonderful time when we have drawn apart from the world and let the Lord begin to work deeply in our lives. He will highlight much to you and you will grow exponentially. Take walks and appreciate God`s wonders, let your mind become free of the worry and doubts and fears that will try and crowd upon you.

You may have left your husband, physically, but you may still be connected in your thinking, going over and over things, and what if`s etc. I believe you need to also let go emotionally and in your mind, giving it all on the altar to the Lord. I had a friend who has recently gone through your situation, (though the husband left her)  and she battled for a while but is now coming through and seeing what God would have her do - helping others, and mentoring.

The enemy would always try to get us to be disheartened - looking back, thinking of the negative things, however we need to take control of our minds and feed it good things, thanking the Lord for so much we have, and all His promises for the future. The Lord is responsible for your life, let Him heal your hurts and soothe your weary heart, let Him guide you through a step at a time, and you will come out into the sunshine and see what He would have you do.

all the best, Marilyn.

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12 hours ago, Tzephanyahu said:

Shalom naominash,

I'm sorry to hear that you've gone through this separation.  This must be a very hard time on you.  Digital hug.

In terms of dealing with solitude, I would advise to get immersed in Bible study, but in a non-standard way.  Rather that devotionals or a lighthearted "several verses a day", I mean utterly immersed.

Book a book, say Isaiah for example.  Learn the historical context of what was going on in Israel and the surrounding nations at that time. Learn about the people and kings mentioned in the book. Understand their past and motivations.  Don't skip over any verse you don't understand - stop and research it.  Buy a nice notebook, dedicated to the Book of Isaiah, and document and fill it with your notes and revelations.  Follow a good verse-by-verse commentary, I highly recommend the extensive Chuck Missler one, free to hear here. Yes, it will take you a long time but such intense study will help you massively in your Walk.  Far better than spending time binge watching a boxset anyway. Here's a great one hour video to get you started.

This is how I like to study the Bible in solitude and I still have so much to learn.  The Bible has endless layers of interpretation and understanding and you will never exhaust any book therein if you study it correctly.

I hope that helps

Love & Shalom 

I love this idea. I can go more in depth into the Scripture and take my time this way.

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I always remember the verse "whatsoever state I am in, therewith to be content."   Also, learn to be thankful for even small everyday things, rejoice even in harder times.    If you are not quite able to rejoice, then at least be thankful.    Don't become a continual complainer....that will bring you down faster than alot of things.

Besides your devotional, quiet time with the Lord, where you listen with your heart as well as your mind, learn to enjoy nature....the flowers, trees, the singing birds, and so on.   Enjoy and thank God for a peaceful mind and heart.

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On 4/26/2019 at 4:54 PM, naominash said:

Im separated from my husband on grounds of abuse.

I've resolved to be abstinent during my time that my state requires till we can divorce.

 

This is requiring more strength and will power than I thought. I believe the right way for me to move on is to learn to be content by myself and not idolize men so much.

How do you learn to enjoy solitude? 

The only thing that seems to help is avoiding the media, and ---of course--- asking the Lord for wisdom and the grace to wait on Him.

 

There is a peace that comes from repentance. I'd try that.

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I think I recall you wanting to get in shape, but your husband wasn't too keen on that... I hope i'm remembering that right.

Let me tell you: exercise sucks in the moment, especially when you're starting out, but oh man does it ever make a person feel better afterwards. Not so much the muscle pain, but you get what I mean. You don't normally have to join a gym, either, though you can if you feel that being around other people is more encouraging or comfortable. I know some prefer gyms because "if I don't show up, people will know that i'm slacking, so I go". If you would prefer to work out at home, you can do the usual jumping jacks, push ups, jogs - You can even find exercise equipment cheaply online or in the newspaper, as many people buy them and then just don't use them.

I personally do weightlifting - machine weights and free weights. Many women are turned off by weightlifting because they don't want to bulk up, but that's why most women do "endurance training," which basically means low weight for as many lifts as you can. Say you're doing a bench press. You might just stick with the bar, as the bar itself (at least mine does) normally weighs 45 lbs. No weights or anything on it, the bar is 45 lbs on it's own. So you bench the bar until your arms gets tired; you're building up muscle whilst still not putting on too much bulk. My advice also would be to start out on a multi-purpose machine. Machine weights guide your movements and are easier to use. My personal preference as far as brands is Weider. You don't have to increase your weights unless you wish to - you just want muscle mass. Muscles burn calories faster than fat does, so having muscles can help you lose weight, too. If you need more info or have questions, you can shoot them my way - i don't have permanent internet access though, so it might take me a day or two to respond. 

As for cardio, well... I haven't gone on a walk for a time. When I feel up to it, most of my cardio is done on a weight bag (punching bag). Since i'd reckon that walks are more your thing though, I do have advice there. If you find working out to be tedious and repetitive, it helps if you do things to keep occupied. I'll sometime lift weights in front of the TV. If I go on walks, I try to map out a route that i'd enjoy - a walk by the creek to meditate on the water, go by this one lady's house who has pretty flowers outside... Maybe even stop at a store and buy a drink or something. Just be sure to not overdo it, alright? Two things any healthy exerciser needs is patience and honesty. Instant results never happen. If you're slacking or pushing yourself too hard, you need to be able to be truthful with yourself in that regard. Overdoing it sucks, too. I remember doing a ton of lunges because I found them easy, and then I could barely walk or sit the next day. NOT fun.

As far as solitude goes, i've always enjoyed mine, so it's probably going to be difficult for me to explain. They say that silence is golden, and I agree, because you can focus externally much more. When I think of solitude, I like to think about walking by the creek. I can hear an old tree nearby creak in the wind. There is a bird chirping, and when I see it, I try to determine what species it is - I saw a pretty one just today, a bit like a bright yellow bluejay. You're not speaking, you're not concerned about being odd around other people... It's just you and what's around you.

My advice for solitude, then? Take a walk through nature. Nothing to speak to, so there's not much need to talk... Though admittedly, I have an embarrassing habit of making small talk with animals. What's up, squirrel, you're looking mighty cute today < Goofy stuff like that. I also think silence between people is golden, so if you have a friend who is willing to remain quiet, it never hurts to have a friend.

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