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How do you break the use?


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Im way too easy going.  I've allowed my son to use and manipulate me too long.  It's come to a head because he has literally bankrupted me.  Now I should have stopped it but I just could not stand the cold shoulder or live here with them (my house) they are the only support I have.  But it's out of control.  I have no retirement we went through that. I knew better but I was so drugged going through stage 4 cancer I don't remember.  Now he and wife do as they please.  I get no help.  Nothing but he expects me to keep on paying.   I have no one else no church no family who care.  Las t Sunday all our vehicles were all totaled by drunk driver.  Mine covered his not in now to blame.  But he is ow not going to help me at all I have no car so I'm stuck.  I rented him one to get to work.  I am so hurt that he could do this.  Mad at me because I won't use money to buy the car he wants to use and go back into debt.  They live here cann it throw them out little kids involved and won't endanger them.  Please what do I do.  I'm trying to be strong. 

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One idea is to find a person to be your legal guardian and handle your finances.  I am in sound mind but am retired and I chose one should I be unable to handle my affairs.  Better to choose one now while you can.  If you turned your finances over to an accountant that you trust you would not have the pressure that family places on you because the guardian would deal with it.  On the other hand you would pay them for their services.

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Good thought as I certainly do not want my son as guardian.  In fact thank you I will remove him from any ability to make decisions.

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Pj, this entire melee of madness just breaks my heart. It's just really tragic, and I'm going to be in prayer for you. Willa gave some really practical advice, as she's known for. I'm not sure your location, but in the state of California, we do have senior advocacy groups who are in looking to the best interests of retirees who have others living in their homes, that could potentially neglect, take advantage, or abuse them in any way, shape, or form. Sounds harsh, I know. But you seem to be at your wits end here, and are in need of someone in your corner. Please do keep in touch, and God bless you. 

Shalom, 

David/BeauJangles   

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7 hours ago, Pj said:

Im way too easy going.  I've allowed my son to use and manipulate me too long.  It's come to a head because he has literally bankrupted me.  Now I should have stopped it but I just could not stand the cold shoulder or live here with them (my house) they are the only support I have.  But it's out of control.  I have no retirement we went through that. I knew better but I was so drugged going through stage 4 cancer I don't remember.  Now he and wife do as they please.  I get no help.  Nothing but he expects me to keep on paying.   I have no one else no church no family who care.  Las t Sunday all our vehicles were all totaled by drunk driver.  Mine covered his not in now to blame.  But he is ow not going to help me at all I have no car so I'm stuck.  I rented him one to get to work.  I am so hurt that he could do this.  Mad at me because I won't use money to buy the car he wants to use and go back into debt.  They live here cann it throw them out little kids involved and won't endanger them.  Please what do I do.  I'm trying to be strong. 

 

 

 

First of all, YOU survived stage 4 cancer, PRAISE GOD!!

Bother, that is a MIRACLE!!

In my view, that means God has a plan for you and He is going to use you in ways to help others who are struggling with cancer!!

WOW, I just want to shout and give God GLORY for what He did for you!!

I am just buzzing all over at what a MIRACLE that is!!

Stage 4 Cancer, WOW, God is so GOOD!!

 

 

About your son, he needs to know that you most likely assumed the worst going through stage 4 Cancer and just opened yourself to his bidding.   But God HEALED YOU!!   And how things were are no longer how they are now.

 

My Grandfather and Father were both ministers and they told the entire family one thing that never left my memory.  They said, we love our Family, but we love God more.   And they were not willing to lose their salvation over any one of us.   Now, that sounds harsh and mean.   But I now understand where they were in position when they told everyone that.

 

You need to tell your son to walk!!   Yes, I see there are grandbabies involved.   But chances are, you are going to end up with those grandbabies.   I would tell my son, you have used me for the last time.  I would not hesitate calling the police on him.   That PUNK needs a lesson!!  And being either in jail or on the streets begging will definitely awaken him.

 

God has something instore for you, Brother, and you are going to miss out by letting your son manipulate you.   

 

Who is more important to YOU, GOD or your WORTHLESS SON?

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Matthew 8:

21 And another of his disciples said unto him, Lord, suffer me first to go and bury my father.

22 But Jesus said unto him, Follow me; and let the dead bury their dead.

 

God (Yeshua) told His Disciple to forget about burying your father, and follow me!!

 

 

You need to do the same to your son, by choosing God over him!!

Edited by childoftheking
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Breaking the abuse for that is what it is, will be difficult.  Praise God he did grant me a miracle.  I felt the Holy Spirit heal me one night when I had given up.  How many are that blessed.  I pray but not like I should for God to rescue me or show me the way.  But I need to listen.  I know what I need to do but its so hard.  I'm in a wheelchair and frankly do all my own things I get no help as I see other children doing.  Break a my heart.   I have to realize he is selfish and uncaring.  His wife is no better.  I'm afraid scared to break all ties nut know I need to.  Just walk away I guess.  It is so hard.  If I had support I will pray that God sends someone not afraid to step in and help.  Bless you all.

 

 

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Pj, please check into this: https://www.senioradvisor.com/blog/ Okay so, it is a blog format, but listed in here are 15 organizations in advocacy of seniors with disabilities. This would cover the gambut of help and assist, legal as well. Perhaps there's something, anything that can guide, if not step in and help you through this trial. God bless. 

Shalom,

David/BeauJangles 

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15 hours ago, Pj said:

Breaking the abuse for that is what it is, will be difficult.  Praise God he did grant me a miracle.  I felt the Holy Spirit heal me one night when I had given up.  How many are that blessed.  I pray but not like I should for God to rescue me or show me the way.  But I need to listen.  I know what I need to do but its so hard.  I'm in a wheelchair and frankly do all my own things I get no help as I see other children doing.  Break a my heart.   I have to realize he is selfish and uncaring.  His wife is no better.  I'm afraid scared to break all ties nut know I need to.  Just walk away I guess.  It is so hard.  If I had support I will pray that God sends someone not afraid to step in and help.  Bless you all.

 

 

 

I am not as familiar with assisted living arrangements as the other posters have indicated and suggested to you.   It might be a great way for you to separate yourself from the issues at home, while also being able to save your income, since no one will be there to mooch off of you.   And you could be surrounded by people WHO need God.   You surviving stage 4 Cancer is a miracle!!   And if you should find yourself in a place where others are failing in health, and seem to have no hope, this would be perfect for you to offer them our Lord and Savior!!  

 

I just had this urge that God is going to use you for His Purpose.   We never truly know what God has instore for us when we are trying to find our calling.   And then there are those times when the answers and directions are obvious.   Seek God and listen for Him.   He no doubt is standing near and is about ready to knock.   

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On 5/18/2019 at 12:24 AM, Pj said:

Im way too easy going.  I've allowed my son to use and manipulate me too long.  It's come to a head because he has literally bankrupted me.  Now I should have stopped it but I just could not stand the cold shoulder or live here with them (my house) they are the only support I have.  But it's out of control.  I have no retirement we went through that. I knew better but I was so drugged going through stage 4 cancer I don't remember.  Now he and wife do as they please.  I get no help.  Nothing but he expects me to keep on paying.   I have no one else no church no family who care.  Las t Sunday all our vehicles were all totaled by drunk driver.  Mine covered his not in now to blame.  But he is ow not going to help me at all I have no car so I'm stuck.  I rented him one to get to work.  I am so hurt that he could do this.  Mad at me because I won't use money to buy the car he wants to use and go back into debt.  They live here cann it throw them out little kids involved and won't endanger them.  Please what do I do.  I'm trying to be strong. 

Talk to him about it, and dont be taken for a ride. Say what is on your mind and set limits.

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