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I recently ran into a situation where someone who did something to me in my younger years asked me to do them a favor, I refused on the grounds that I didn't trust the reason why they were asking me to do it....getting into my point......does the simple fact that i do not trust them mean that i have not forgiven him his past transgressions, or do i as a Christian have the right to say "hey i forgive you for what has happened in the past, however I can never trust you not to do it again or trust any actions that you are taking when it comes to the relationship me and you have."

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20 minutes ago, growinginJesus said:

I recently ran into a situation where someone who did something to me in my younger years asked me to do them a favor, I refused on the grounds that I didn't trust the reason why they were asking me to do it....getting into my point......does the simple fact that i do not trust them mean that i have not forgiven him his past transgressions, or do i as a Christian have the right to say "hey i forgive you for what has happened in the past, however I can never trust you not to do it again or trust any actions that you are taking when it comes to the relationship me and you have."

Hi growinginJesus. Firstly, welcome to Worthy and congratulations on your first post since you joined in October last year. 

As for your question let me say well done on your decision to refuse someone you didn't trust. God gives us various gifts that we are to use for the common welfare of the body of Christ, and discernment is one of them. Since the welfare of the individual believer impacts on the body it follows that individual believers should do everything they can to avoid dodgy deals and shady transactions etc. This unwillingness to get involved with people we don't trust in no way means we haven't forgiven them for past transgressions but rather that we have wised up about them.

1Pe 3:15-17
(15)  But sanctify the Lord God in your hearts: and be ready always to give an answer to every man that asks you a reason of the hope that is in you with meekness and fear (respect):
(16)  Having a good conscience; that, whereas they speak evil of you, as of evildoers, they may be ashamed that falsely accuse your good conversation in Christ.
(17)  For it is better, if the will of God be so, that you suffer for well doing, than for evil doing.
 

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Jesus gave an example of forgiveness. 

Matthew 18:21-22  Then Peter came to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? til seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven KJV

Luke 17:4  And if he trespass against thee seven time in a day, and seven times in a day turn again to thee, saying, I repent; thou shalt forgive him. KJV

Sounds as if this person forgot to ask you something else.   

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6 hours ago, growinginJesus said:

I recently ran into a situation where someone who did something to me in my younger years asked me to do them a favor, I refused on the grounds that I didn't trust the reason why they were asking me to do it....getting into my point......does the simple fact that i do not trust them mean that i have not forgiven him his past transgressions, or do i as a Christian have the right to say "hey i forgive you for what has happened in the past, however I can never trust you not to do it again or trust any actions that you are taking when it comes to the relationship me and you have."

Nothing here I see in the wrong.

Curious, however... I wonder if you (like so many Christians do)

take the passage about forgiving others so our Heavenly Father will forgive us out of its

context.

Jesus was living under the Law of Moses at the time, addressing the disciple's request to

teach them to pray as John (the Baptist) taught his disciples to pray. 

It was during the Old Testament / Old Covenant / Law of Moses.

Hebrews 9:16-17 teach us that the New Testament did not even begin until Jesus died on the Cross.

Once you realize this truth and apply it correctly to scripture, a lot of fuzzy things make sense.

Matthew 5:29-30 for example about maiming one's self to enter life maimed rather than hell whole.

Old Testament / Law.

New Testament grace John:3:16-18 / Ephesians 2:8-10.

Be careful of the traditions of man (who put the dividing line between Old and New Covenants between Malachi 4 and Matthew 1)

they will lead to legalism, contradiction, and nullify the Word of God itself (Mark 7:13).

Personally, I believe John 17 is the true Lord's prayer and

what is traditionally called the Lord's prayer is actually the disciple's prayer

taught by Jesus (under the Law of Moses).

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I think Gandalf has the right of it. Forgiving someone doesn't mean being a doormat or setting yourself up for future harm. This is especially true if you have reason to believe they're unreliable or mean to do you harm in some form.

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You have done well.

People don't have to earn our forgiveness.  God gave it to us freely and we are too pass it on freely.  Trust is something that when destroyed, a person must earn back. We don't have to be stupid.   

2Ti 4:14 Alexander the metalworker did me a great deal of harm. The Lord will repay him for what he has done.  2Ti 4:15  You too should be on your guard against him, because he strongly opposed our message.

Paul has forgiven Alexander--he is not planning to get even.  He is letting God do that.  Yet he is obviously warning others to be on guard against the guy so I don't think he trusts him.  

 


 

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15 hours ago, growinginJesus said:

I recently ran into a situation where someone who did something to me in my younger years asked me to do them a favor, I refused on the grounds that I didn't trust the reason why they were asking me to do it....getting into my point......does the simple fact that i do not trust them mean that i have not forgiven him his past transgressions, or do i as a Christian have the right to say "hey i forgive you for what has happened in the past, however I can never trust you not to do it again or trust any actions that you are taking when it comes to the relationship me and you have."

You can forgive someone but that does not mean that you trust them. That does not mean you have to ever have a relationship with them again or do a favor for them. 

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If only a person would use those three unheard of words " I am sorry" but unfortunately we don't hear that often. It would make it much easier to forgive. 

Edited by missmuffet
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Fool me once- shame on you

Fool me Twice- shame on me

I think that may be applicable here.....maybe not....it sprung to mind for some reason....

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