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I am asking a lot of questions on this board, so apologies for spamming!

Background: raised as Catholic and had lifelong faith and belief in Jesus, but this Jesus was a kind of made-up Jesus who endorsed my sinful life.

I was pulled towards the true biblical Jesus 2 years ago but think I only got saved about two months ago (sin suddenly seemed very unappealing).

I believe that Jesus died for my sins. I love Him and now read the Bible which I never did before. I pray throughout the day and found a new biblical church. I repent of my sins at least once a day and give thanks as often as I remember to. I am now super submissive to my husband, don't swear, get drunk or take drugs (anymore). I try to be less judgemental and not talk about people. I have cleaned up my act a lot. I know we arent saved through works but I am just showing that God is convicting me of sins and I am repenting and changing my ways as I am guided.

However i feel really held back by the fact my husband doesn't believe. I wish I could throw myself into a kind of 'Shout it out' sort of faith but I know that would really put him off the idea of Christianity if he heard me talking about Jesus the way I want to. When I try, he closes up, looks at me like ive lost my mind and I know the best witness for him is the example of my actions.

My parents are very suspicious of anyone who is passionate about their faith. They think they are unstable and mother has questioned my stability in the past, so they would just think I am mad. I would tell them if they asked but it hasn't come up And I still havent received an answer to my prayers on how to tell them.

My faith isn't a secret. I am very open to telling anyone I am a Christian if the topic comes up, and explain why, but I don't advertise it. I have told my closest friends who dont really get it, and was sure to leave my Bible out when I had guests over last week. I have Bible verses on my wall at home and I was considering getting a cross tattoo as a conversation starter! On social media I share some 'light' memes relating to thanking God for our blessings, but never use my voice to condemn things I disagree with, such as articles about abortion, for example. This is more because I am not very good at arguing my point and I have friends who have had abortions and would see this...its awkward for my flesh.

 

So basically I am not passinate enough because I am holding back. I wish I was on fire for Christ Instead of the gentle devotion I feel for Him. Is this something that grows with maturiry in Christ?

Also thank you to this kind community who answer my questions so thoughtfully and patiently. Sorry for the essay.

God bless.

 

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2 hours ago, Thewhitedove said:

I am asking a lot of questions on this board, so apologies for spamming!

Background: raised as Catholic and had lifelong faith and belief in Jesus, but this Jesus was a kind of made-up Jesus who endorsed my sinful life.

I was pulled towards the true biblical Jesus 2 years ago but think I only got saved about two months ago (sin suddenly seemed very unappealing).

I believe that Jesus died for my sins. I love Him and now read the Bible which I never did before. I pray throughout the day and found a new biblical church. I repent of my sins at least once a day and give thanks as often as I remember to. I am now super submissive to my husband, don't swear, get drunk or take drugs (anymore). I try to be less judgemental and not talk about people. I have cleaned up my act a lot. I know we arent saved through works but I am just showing that God is convicting me of sins and I am repenting and changing my ways as I am guided.

However i feel really held back by the fact my husband doesn't believe. I wish I could throw myself into a kind of 'Shout it out' sort of faith but I know that would really put him off the idea of Christianity if he heard me talking about Jesus the way I want to. When I try, he closes up, looks at me like ive lost my mind and I know the best witness for him is the example of my actions.

My parents are very suspicious of anyone who is passionate about their faith. They think they are unstable and mother has questioned my stability in the past, so they would just think I am mad. I would tell them if they asked but it hasn't come up And I still havent received an answer to my prayers on how to tell them.

My faith isn't a secret. I am very open to telling anyone I am a Christian if the topic comes up, and explain why, but I don't advertise it. I have told my closest friends who dont really get it, and was sure to leave my Bible out when I had guests over last week. I have Bible verses on my wall at home and I was considering getting a cross tattoo as a conversation starter! On social media I share some 'light' memes relating to thanking God for our blessings, but never use my voice to condemn things I disagree with, such as articles about abortion, for example. This is more because I am not very good at arguing my point and I have friends who have had abortions and would see this...its awkward for my flesh.

So basically I am not passinate enough because I am holding back. I wish I was on fire for Christ Instead of the gentle devotion I feel for Him. Is this something that grows with maturiry in Christ?

Also thank you to this kind community who answer my questions so thoughtfully and patiently. Sorry for the essay.

God bless.

WhiteDove. Hi.

Firstly, the Parable of the Sower Matthew 13.

It's great you have transitioned from being a wayside hearer of the Word of God but the concern now is that there might be hard rocky, stoney patches in your heart and that the Word will wither, or there might be rough patches of weeds and thorns from the troubles and cares of this life and the Word will be choked. Let us hope and pray for your heart to become more and more fertile so that the Word of God can grow in you and produce fruit.

Secondly, there is no need for a genuine Christian to wear special clothes, ornaments, or tatoos to signify their belief. Better they show a complete reliance and trust in God by their thoughts, words, and actions, as they abide in the Vine (John 15) and produce fruit of the Spirit (Galations 5)

Thirdly, one of the worst things you can do is focus on what your unsaved family and friends think about you being a genuine born-again Bible-believing Christian. If you are living to please God, seeking or considering His Kingdom above and before all else, all the rest will be added, will fall into place, and what you really need according to God's Will for you He will provide. Keep your eyes on Jesus Christ and Him crucified, risen, acsended, and now interceding for you. Don't try and match some artificial standard of enthusiasm that you cannot sustain but be filled with the Holy Spirit by both personal praise and worship times and corporate fellowship times.

 Rom 8:28
(28)  And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Enough for now, blessings from Michael37
 

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17 minutes ago, Michael37 said:

WhiteDove. Hi.

Firstly, the Parable of the Sower Matthew 13.

It's great you have transitioned from being a wayside hearer of the Word of God but the concern now is that there might be hard rocky, stoney patches in your heart and that the Word will wither, or there might be rough patches of weeds and thorns from the troubles and cares of this life and the Word will be choked. Let us hope and pray for your heart to become more and more fertile so that the Word of God can grow in you and produce fruit.

Secondly, there is no need for a genuine Christian to wear special clothes, ornaments, or tatoos to signify their belief. Better they show a complete reliance and trust in God by their thoughts, words, and actions, as they abide in the Vine (John 15) and produce fruit of the Spirit (Galations 5)

Thirdly, one of the worst things you can do is focus on what your unsaved family and friends think about you being a genuine born-again Bible-believing Christian. If you are living to please God, seeking or considering His Kingdom above and before all else, all the rest will be added, will fall into place, and what you really need according to God's Will for you He will provide. Keep your eyes on Jesus Christ and Him crucified, risen, acsended, and now interceding for you. Don't try and match some artificial standard of enthusiasm that you cannot sustain but be filled with the Holy Spirit by both personal praise and worship times and corporate fellowship times.

 Rom 8:28
(28)  And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Enough for now, blessings from Michael37
 

Thank you so much for your reply! And you are so right. There are definitely weeds in my heart that are stopping the Word of God...but I now know what I need to pray for. As for being concerned with what non believers think, this is a real problem. I was raised to always blend in and not risk my reputation. My mother was very into outward appearances and while I am much less like that than she was, I am a slave to what other people think.

Can you give me a good starting point? What would be a good practical step to break free And put God first?

I have been wanting to get baptised (was baptised as a baby but feel the urge to make my faith official). I have been putting it off as I wanted everyone in my family to be happy for me first. I told my mother this morning that I have started going to church and she was fine about it...but it shouldn't have matteted! My husband will think I'm crazy and wont approve...but I think it would be a good first step in boldness. What do you think?

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3 minutes ago, Sonshine☀️ said:

Be encouraged, sister.  You are growing in the Lord.  ….and now read below your Father’s loving promise, especially for you

Psalm 32:8

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will guide you with My eye. 

:emot-heartbeat:

Beautiful. Thank you!

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5 hours ago, Thewhitedove said:

I am asking a lot of questions on this board, so apologies for spamming!

Background: raised as Catholic and had lifelong faith and belief in Jesus, but this Jesus was a kind of made-up Jesus who endorsed my sinful life.

I was pulled towards the true biblical Jesus 2 years ago but think I only got saved about two months ago (sin suddenly seemed very unappealing).

I believe that Jesus died for my sins. I love Him and now read the Bible which I never did before. I pray throughout the day and found a new biblical church. I repent of my sins at least once a day and give thanks as often as I remember to. I am now super submissive to my husband, don't swear, get drunk or take drugs (anymore). I try to be less judgemental and not talk about people. I have cleaned up my act a lot. I know we arent saved through works but I am just showing that God is convicting me of sins and I am repenting and changing my ways as I am guided.

However i feel really held back by the fact my husband doesn't believe. I wish I could throw myself into a kind of 'Shout it out' sort of faith but I know that would really put him off the idea of Christianity if he heard me talking about Jesus the way I want to. When I try, he closes up, looks at me like ive lost my mind and I know the best witness for him is the example of my actions.

My parents are very suspicious of anyone who is passionate about their faith. They think they are unstable and mother has questioned my stability in the past, so they would just think I am mad. I would tell them if they asked but it hasn't come up And I still havent received an answer to my prayers on how to tell them.

My faith isn't a secret. I am very open to telling anyone I am a Christian if the topic comes up, and explain why, but I don't advertise it. I have told my closest friends who dont really get it, and was sure to leave my Bible out when I had guests over last week. I have Bible verses on my wall at home and I was considering getting a cross tattoo as a conversation starter! On social media I share some 'light' memes relating to thanking God for our blessings, but never use my voice to condemn things I disagree with, such as articles about abortion, for example. This is more because I am not very good at arguing my point and I have friends who have had abortions and would see this...its awkward for my flesh.

 

So basically I am not passinate enough because I am holding back. I wish I was on fire for Christ Instead of the gentle devotion I feel for Him. Is this something that grows with maturiry in Christ?

Also thank you to this kind community who answer my questions so thoughtfully and patiently. Sorry for the essay.

God bless.

 

Some people have a quiet gentle spirit and God uses that to speak to the people around you. God is changing you and your husband and family won't be able to help but notice. You are less judgemental you are careful aboit what you say, you aren't being an "in your face" Christian and I believe this is how God wants you to be. Don't beat yourself up you have came a long way and you are doing so well but the enemy and your flesh will tell you you aren't good enough or not doing it right. You are right in praying about it all and God will continue to show you. I made the mistake of telling my catholic friends to stop praying to Mary etc when I got saved lol but they were ok about it cos they know me. You're family can see and will see a difference in you because you have the Holy Spirit. Also you don't have to commention on things like abortion because sometimes it causes conflict, it's better to pray about it cos God is greater! Some Christians like to hear the sound of their own voices and put the world to rights lol but that's not the way to go. Be who you are and don't try to change yourself, God is working in you and He will do what needs to be done in God way, you just have to trust Him....Congratulations on being saved and welcome to the family of Christ ❤

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8 hours ago, Thewhitedove said:

I am asking a lot of questions on this board, so apologies for spamming!

Background: raised as Catholic and had lifelong faith and belief in Jesus, but this Jesus was a kind of made-up Jesus who endorsed my sinful life.

I was pulled towards the true biblical Jesus 2 years ago but think I only got saved about two months ago (sin suddenly seemed very unappealing).

I believe that Jesus died for my sins. I love Him and now read the Bible which I never did before. I pray throughout the day and found a new biblical church. I repent of my sins at least once a day and give thanks as often as I remember to. I am now super submissive to my husband, don't swear, get drunk or take drugs (anymore). I try to be less judgemental and not talk about people. I have cleaned up my act a lot. I know we arent saved through works but I am just showing that God is convicting me of sins and I am repenting and changing my ways as I am guided.

However i feel really held back by the fact my husband doesn't believe. I wish I could throw myself into a kind of 'Shout it out' sort of faith but I know that would really put him off the idea of Christianity if he heard me talking about Jesus the way I want to. When I try, he closes up, looks at me like ive lost my mind and I know the best witness for him is the example of my actions.

My parents are very suspicious of anyone who is passionate about their faith. They think they are unstable and mother has questioned my stability in the past, so they would just think I am mad. I would tell them if they asked but it hasn't come up And I still havent received an answer to my prayers on how to tell them.

My faith isn't a secret. I am very open to telling anyone I am a Christian if the topic comes up, and explain why, but I don't advertise it. I have told my closest friends who dont really get it, and was sure to leave my Bible out when I had guests over last week. I have Bible verses on my wall at home and I was considering getting a cross tattoo as a conversation starter! On social media I share some 'light' memes relating to thanking God for our blessings, but never use my voice to condemn things I disagree with, such as articles about abortion, for example. This is more because I am not very good at arguing my point and I have friends who have had abortions and would see this...its awkward for my flesh.

 

So basically I am not passinate enough because I am holding back. I wish I was on fire for Christ Instead of the gentle devotion I feel for Him. Is this something that grows with maturiry in Christ?

Also thank you to this kind community who answer my questions so thoughtfully and patiently. Sorry for the essay.

God bless.

 

Pray to God and give Him your heart, your mind and your life. Do not try to control your life but give it to God 100%. Have a daily relationship with God with daily prayer and read your Bible daily. Be obedient to God. Sit back and see what the Holy Spirit does in your life. This does not happen overnight :)

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I'm going to echo what diane32 said. Some Christians are called to be very outgoing. The more introspective sort has their place too, of course, and it doesn't hurt to step out of your comfort zone. Let it happen in God's time.

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17 hours ago, Thewhitedove said:

Thank you so much for your reply! And you are so right. There are definitely weeds in my heart that are stopping the Word of God...but I now know what I need to pray for. As for being concerned with what non believers think, this is a real problem. I was raised to always blend in and not risk my reputation. My mother was very into outward appearances and while I am much less like that than she was, I am a slave to what other people think.

Can you give me a good starting point? What would be a good practical step to break free And put God first?

I have been wanting to get baptised (was baptised as a baby but feel the urge to make my faith official). I have been putting it off as I wanted everyone in my family to be happy for me first. I told my mother this morning that I have started going to church and she was fine about it...but it shouldn't have matteted! My husband will think I'm crazy and wont approve...but I think it would be a good first step in boldness. What do you think?

All good with your plans for your "believer's baptism" WhiteDove. I hope you can have your family present, but it is not a deal-breaker. Definitely talk it through with them, if possible with a Bible open and bookmarked with two or three Scriptures that relate to your decision. My large staunchly Anglican family didn't have the faintest idea with regard to my decision to be water baptised by full immersion 35 years ago when I was 30. They said "But you were baptised as an infant", so I said that no-one can decide on another person's behalf about their becoming a Christian and their being baptised as an outward expression of an inward conviction.

I hope you can keep in close communication with your husband without pressuring him. Perhaps ask him if he can come and take photos of your baptism and keep letting him know that it is important to you that he understand that God has called you and chosen you and is leading you with goodness and kindness, not to harm him or hurt your marriage.

Blessings fom Michael 37 

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Shalom sister,

Wow, it's great to hear of the development you have made already. HalleluYah!

On 6/2/2019 at 10:16 AM, Thewhitedove said:

I wish I could throw myself into a kind of 'Shout it out' sort of faith but I know that would really put him off the idea of Christianity if he heard me talking about Jesus the way I want to.

I think you are right, you need to be very careful with witnessing approaches when it comes to loved ones and family.  "A prophet is without honour in his home town".  I found the best way is to be a light.  Shine in all you do and say.  Yes, you will make mistakes and yes they will provoke you successfully at times.  Nevertheless, let your light shine forth brightly - which will be peace, joy, love, untouchable trust in troubling times and security and comfort in your future.  Such attributes maybe ignored, tried or even mocked at first by those close to us.  However, eventually they will start to wonder "maybe there is something to this Christianity business".  This is turn will eventually lead to "I want what she has".  This is by no means a quick process!  But to preach at them, extol God's virtues to them and hit them with Scripture can have adverse effect.  Yes, they will be convicted by what they hear but then a driver against them is the thought "I don't want to be like this - a Bible-bashing preacher who sounds crazy" and even "who does she think she is?"

On 6/2/2019 at 10:16 AM, Thewhitedove said:

My parents are very suspicious of anyone who is passionate about their faith. They think they are unstable and mother has questioned my stability in the past, so they would just think I am mad. I would tell them if they asked but it hasn't come up And I still havent received an answer to my prayers on how to tell them.

It sounds to me like you have assessed this situation well and are reacting wisely. 

On 6/2/2019 at 10:16 AM, Thewhitedove said:

My faith isn't a secret. I am very open to telling anyone I am a Christian if the topic comes up, and explain why, but I don't advertise it. I have told my closest friends who dont really get it, and was sure to leave my Bible out when I had guests over last week.

Fantastic approach.  This is being a light.  I know the typical view of Christians is that they should shout it out to everyone from the street corner and whenever they can.  However, not everyone's gifting is in that ministry.  Just "do you".  Consider where your gifting may be and in the meantime "do you".

On 6/2/2019 at 10:16 AM, Thewhitedove said:

I was considering getting a cross tattoo as a conversation starter!

Oye!  I would advise against it!  Don't "do you"! Hehe.   The cross isn't a symbol to get tattooed on the body.  I'm sure Yahweh would prefer you without this additional penned by a man, in my opinion.  I love your passion, but the cross has been tattooed on some many people these days (many non-believers) that I think it will do little for starting a decent conversation.   Perhaps use something else for a conversation starter, like "Oh I can't on that day, as it's a Sabbath".  Or by talking about current affairs, like "I wonder if Trump will approve the building of the Third Temple in Israel".

On 6/2/2019 at 10:16 AM, Thewhitedove said:

On social media I share some 'light' memes relating to thanking God for our blessings, but never use my voice to condemn things I disagree with, such as articles about abortion, for example. This is more because I am not very good at arguing my point and I have friends who have had abortions and would see this...its awkward for my flesh.

Great stuff.  If you do not feel lead to get involved with arguments, then don't.  Again, going back to your gifting, maybe yours is for encouragement, uplifting or planting etc.  Some people have the gift for confrontation and apologetics in a debate and will feel lead to get involved in such debates. So don't judge yourself unfairly.  It's not your job to convince everyone of the truth you see.  You are only to be a witness to it.  

On 6/2/2019 at 10:16 AM, Thewhitedove said:

I wish I was on fire for Christ Instead of the gentle devotion I feel for Him. Is this something that grows with maturiry in Christ?

I don't know sister, it sounds to me like you are on fire for Christ.  Your post screams of someone in love with the Lord and looking for ways to correctly express it.  I don't think anyone could convince you to leave the Lord either, right?  So how is that not being on fire for Him?  Are you assuming fire means getting many saved, running home groups and caking your house in Scripture?  Not so.

However, you will change.  With your maturity will come many opportunities for you to serve Him.  So these are the years for you to learn more about the Word.  Study it regularly and as much as possible.  Do not shy away from any book in the Bible.  If you are unsure of what certain books are really saying (or have no idea) investigate!  Do so at once!  Leave no stone unturned.  Forget Christians self-help books and TV preachers and immerse yourself in the Word, so that you'll be fully equipped for your service for Yahweh.  As your gift establishes (or as you identify it) then you can move into service - which won't feel as scary as it sounds.  Instead, you'll have a eager anticipation for it.    

So yes, you will change, you will become stronger and you will become wiser and bolder, BUT only if you stay in the Word regularly.  When you finish one book of the Bible, don't assume you've learned it.  The next time you return to it the Spirit will reveal more of its depth to you.  Sometimes our eyes can scan past verses, other times, we can barely read two without needing a day to reflect.

It sounds like you are on the right path sister.

Love & Shalom

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3 hours ago, Tzephanyahu said:

Shalom sister,

Wow, it's great to hear of the development you have made already. HalleluYah!

I think you are right, you need to be very careful with witnessing approaches when it comes to loved ones and family.  "A prophet is without honour in his home town".  I found the best way is to be a light.  Shine in all you do and say.  Yes, you will make mistakes and yes they will provoke you successfully at times.  Nevertheless, let your light shine forth brightly - which will be peace, joy, love, untouchable trust in troubling times and security and comfort in your future.  Such attributes maybe ignored, tried or even mocked at first by those close to us.  However, eventually they will start to wonder "maybe there is something to this Christianity business".  This is turn will eventually lead to "I want what she has".  This is by no means a quick process!  But to preach at them, extol God's virtues to them and hit them with Scripture can have adverse effect.  Yes, they will be convicted by what they hear but then a driver against them is the thought "I don't want to be like this - a Bible-bashing preacher who sounds crazy" and even "who does she think she is?"

It sounds to me like you have assessed this situation well and are reacting wisely. 

Fantastic approach.  This is being a light.  I know the typical view of Christians is that they should shout it out to everyone from the street corner and whenever they can.  However, not everyone's gifting is in that ministry.  Just "do you".  Consider where your gifting may be and in the meantime "do you".

Oye!  I would advise against it!  Don't "do you"! Hehe.   The cross isn't a symbol to get tattooed on the body.  I'm sure Yahweh would prefer you without this additional penned by a man, in my opinion.  I love your passion, but the cross has been tattooed on some many people these days (many non-believers) that I think it will do little for starting a decent conversation.   Perhaps use something else for a conversation starter, like "Oh I can't on that day, as it's a Sabbath".  Or by talking about current affairs, like "I wonder if Trump will approve the building of the Third Temple in Israel".

Great stuff.  If you do not feel lead to get involved with arguments, then don't.  Again, going back to your gifting, maybe yours is for encouragement, uplifting or planting etc.  Some people have the gift for confrontation and apologetics in a debate and will feel lead to get involved in such debates. So don't judge yourself unfairly.  It's not your job to convince everyone of the truth you see.  You are only to be a witness to it.  

I don't know sister, it sounds to me like you are on fire for Christ.  Your post screams of someone in love with the Lord and looking for ways to correctly express it.  I don't think anyone could convince you to leave the Lord either, right?  So how is that not being on fire for Him?  Are you assuming fire means getting many saved, running home groups and caking your house in Scripture?  Not so.

However, you will change.  With your maturity will come many opportunities for you to serve Him.  So these are the years for you to learn more about the Word.  Study it regularly and as much as possible.  Do not shy away from any book in the Bible.  If you are unsure of what certain books are really saying (or have no idea) investigate!  Do so at once!  Leave no stone unturned.  Forget Christians self-help books and TV preachers and immerse yourself in the Word, so that you'll be fully equipped for your service for Yahweh.  As your gift establishes (or as you identify it) then you can move into service - which won't feel as scary as it sounds.  Instead, you'll have a eager anticipation for it.    

So yes, you will change, you will become stronger and you will become wiser and bolder, BUT only if you stay in the Word regularly.  When you finish one book of the Bible, don't assume you've learned it.  The next time you return to it the Spirit will reveal more of its depth to you.  Sometimes our eyes can scan past verses, other times, we can barely read two without needing a day to reflect.

It sounds like you are on the right path sister.

Love & Shalom

What an uplifting response!!Honestly I feel so invigorated and energised. Thank youu!

  • Praise God! 1
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