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Figure of eighty

Feelings of regret...

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Posted (edited)
13 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

I feel its all hitting me since my baby is 21 wks right now.  

I just regret having him out of wedlock. I feel guilty and sad Im not married ... and I honestly would rather be single for the rest of my life than be a single mom... The guilt isnt for me but my son. 

He deserves a 2 parent home not 1 and i feel bad I robbed him of that. 

Im happy for him.. But he deserves better. 

 

I already repented and heard the lord say clearly he forgave me...but i still feel bad..not for me but my son.. . 

Advice from single moms would be nice

 

Hi, when I was in my 30’s I fathered a child out of wedlock, and than proceeded to be a lousy father. As my relationship with Christ solidified, I came to see how miserable a Dad I was. Taking it to God, He ministered to my heart that I can not change the passed, but going forward I can do righteousness by my son. Meaning that I was not to look for my will, or my son’s will, but only do what was the righteous thing in every situation and circumstance. Having been obedient to that, to the best I know, I can say unequivocally in the last 8 years God has worked wonders in my son’s and my relationship. I can say I know of know other father and son that has such a tight, loving, honest and Christ centered relationship such as my son and I have. God has so blessed that relationship that I am besides myself with the awe of it all. 

So what I am saying is, you can not change the passed. But going forward do righteousness by your child,  and God will so bless you that you will be blessed beyond blessed and you will know God’s love for not only you and your child, but for all that call on His name. 

Blessings as you live your life. 

Much love in Christ, Not me 

Edited by Not me
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40 minutes ago, GandalfTheWise said:

Just an observation that is very politically incorrect in our current society.  Boys become good men by having good men active in their lives modeling how to be a good man for them by how they live their lives.  It's great if that good man is their father living in the same house, but many an uncle, grandfather, stepdad, brother-in-law, or next door neighbor has been that good man in a young man's life.   Many an uncle, grandfather, or other man has stepped in to fill the shoes of a father who isn't doing that for his son.  Your son's life will likely go a whole lot smoother if he has some solid good Christian men *active* in his life.

Also, for the sake of your son, please learn how to identify good men from crappy ones so that he can have some good men in his life.  Crappy ones usually have giant red flags written all over them (that many women seem blind to) that good men can usually see a mile away.   Also, please work with God to be healed from the hurt you've had in the past involving men and resolve whatever it was that drove you to be involved with those type of men.  Those unhealed wounds will influence how you feel about and relate to men and your son will be negatively affected by that.  If you have a deep distrust or dislike of men, it is likely going to negatively affect your son's view of his own manhood as he grows up.

Please note, that when I say good man, I'm talking about men who are hard working, have integrity, you can trust their word, they are self-supporting, they are respectful, they have solid skills and hobbies of some type, they have successful longterm relationships, they are the type of men that other good men have confidence and trust in.  I've seen Christian men that haven't grown into this yet.  I've seen Christian men that like this.  I've seen men who aren't Christians and are like this as well as those who aren't.   Ideally, your son can have some good Christian men active in his life to not only model Christlikeness but a positive and strong masculinity and manhood.

Id never talk down about men in general since im having a son. I want him to be loved and confident in himself. 

Im not dating or anything period. Im just focusing on my son. 

 

Also i do have a great guy friend, despite his depression ..he clocks in and works 120 hours a week..very hard working. Respects women, working toward his degree, has his own place ect. 

So im gonna bring my son around him so he'll get a glimpse of what a real man is like and how they function.

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2 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

I mean i love my baby so ill keep him.

Just wanted to say its wonderful to hear you  Figure of eighty say that you love your son. :emot-heartbeat: Even now, your son needs to know that he is loved by you.  Not only what you ingest materially but also very much how you feel now has an impact on your child. The knowing that he is wanted and loved by you now, hallelujah! Amen! :amen: is a blessing to him and his well being. :emot-blink: Now you and you son are a family. what a blessing from God. another blessing is that you seek God and love Him also and desire to live for Him. God is healer, Isaiah 53.  Just claim your healing and that for your son. As you seek Him and repent(turn away) from your sins God is ALWAYS willing and will answer your prayers. Never give up on God being also able to heal your baby and you of anything and everything.

Here iare two youtube videos of pastor Ron Cohen who also believes this and preaches it with assurance of Gods Word.

 

God wants you well - Part 1 - Dr. Ron Cohen

God wants you well - Part 2 - Dr Ron Cohen

 

In Christ Jesus Always;

1to3

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5 hours ago, 1to3 said:

Just wanted to say its wonderful to hear you  Figure of eighty say that you love your son. :emot-heartbeat: Even now, your son needs to know that he is loved by you.  Not only what you ingest materially but also very much how you feel now has an impact on your child. The knowing that he is wanted and loved by you now, hallelujah! Amen! :amen: is a blessing to him and his well being. :emot-blink: Now you and you son are a family. what a blessing from God. another blessing is that you seek God and love Him also and desire to live for Him. God is healer, Isaiah 53.  Just claim your healing and that for your son. As you seek Him and repent(turn away) from your sins God is ALWAYS willing and will answer your prayers. Never give up on God being also able to heal your baby and you of anything and everything.

Here iare two youtube videos of pastor Ron Cohen who also believes this and preaches it with assurance of Gods Word.

 

God wants you well - Part 1 - Dr. Ron Cohen

God wants you well - Part 2 - Dr Ron Cohen

 

In Christ Jesus Always;

1to3

Thank you. I needed this so much. I love my baby im defintely trying to be a better persom for him.

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22 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

I feel its all hitting me since my baby is 21 wks right now.  

I just regret having him out of wedlock. I feel guilty and sad Im not married ... and I honestly would rather be single for the rest of my life than be a single mom... The guilt isnt for me but my son. 

He deserves a 2 parent home not 1 and i feel bad I robbed him of that. 

Im happy for him.. But he deserves better. 

 

I already repented and heard the lord say clearly he forgave me...but i still feel bad..not for me but my son.. . 

Advice from single moms would be nice

 

I can't speak as a Mother, but know this.  Even if the child was conceived in sin, God doesn't make mistakes.  He placed the child in your care for a reason.  Just do your best and trust the Lord.

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You could taken the easy, selfish way out.....the name of which I don’t want to honor by mentioning it here.The selfless choice that you made for the life of this child has not gone unnoticed by our Heavenly Father....He is going to bless you for this . Count on it.

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Posted (edited)
On 6/7/2019 at 3:00 AM, Blood Bought 1953 said:

 

You could taken the easy, selfish way out.....the name of which I don’t want to honor by mentioning it here.The selfless choice that you made for the life of this child has not gone unnoticed by our Heavenly Father....He is going to bless you for this . Count on it.

Yes i really could have! But i remember seeing my little cutie on the ultrasound...he actually turned his head in my direction ( well "our" me and the sonographers...) I felt scared but i also felt like he needed to be cared for and loved. He was so small, helpless and vulnerable i couldn't bring myself to harm a tiny little life struggling to live like the rest of us. 

 

Plus he's adorable. I love him. 

And thank you for the kind words. Keeping him is the onlything i know im doing right. That and just furthering my education.

 

I think everything will be okay.

Edited by Figure of eighty
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10 minutes ago, Figure of eighty said:

I think everything will be okay.

It's so good to hear some encouraging words. Praise the Lord! 

Shalom, 

David/BeauJangles

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