Jayne Posted June 8, 2019 Group: Royal Member Followers: 16 Topic Count: 105 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 3,803 Content Per Day: 1.29 Reputation: 4,779 Days Won: 2 Joined: 03/31/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted June 8, 2019 Just now, WorriedHeart said: Okay, I would attempt to if it can be accepted as a new post so that I may keep the long version for those who won't mind it. Thanks again Just go back and edit your OP by cutting it into small paragraphs. No need to re-invent the wheel. By-the-by, I read the whole thing. Just based on what you've said.... 1. P does not sound like he will be any better of a husband than the one you have. I would flee from him. 2. Marriage counseling doesn't work with just one visit. The two of you married in haste - not timewise but decision-wise. You decided too quickly. Perhaps the marriage counseling should start from scratch. 3. You are miserable in your situation and anything looks better. That goes with spouses, people on diets, addicts trying to stop behaviors, and many things. Concentrate on mending what you have. 4. Concentrate on reading the Bible, praying, and drawing closer to God all by yourself. 2 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blood Bought 1953 Posted June 9, 2019 Group: Royal Member Followers: 13 Topic Count: 48 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 6,726 Content Per Day: 2.89 Reputation: 6,258 Days Won: 5 Joined: 12/03/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted June 9, 2019 10 hours ago, missmuffet said: Perhaps you could post a shorter version. Notify me when the Reader’s Digest version comes out.....lol 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marilyn C Posted June 9, 2019 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 30 Topic Count: 266 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 13,181 Content Per Day: 3.50 Reputation: 8,482 Days Won: 12 Joined: 12/21/2013 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/06/1947 Share Posted June 9, 2019 On 6/8/2019 at 1:05 AM, WorriedHeart said: Hello everyone... Uhmm... I am a natural talker & I really want to pour my heart out on this one, just hope I don't bore before I round it up even as I attempt to shorten as much as I can. My problem is hot and raising my pressure as I type. Pls help me. Hi WorriedHeart, I think you main problem, (as with all of us) is YOURSELF. You are very self focussed and if you want to get off the relational merry-go-round then you need to work on your attitude. Now no one will satisfy you, as you are really looking for some one like yourself. God is about changing us to be like Christ. That should be your (our) focus. As you humble yourself under the Lord, and work on those attitudes He highlights you will find contentment and peace and right relationships. Keep barging ahead under your own full steam and you will continue to have heart-ache and hurt. I do feel for you, as your personality is `driven` but if you are serious about change then repent of having yourself, in stead of the Lord as your Lord. praying Marilyn. 1 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorriedHeart Posted June 9, 2019 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 15 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 9 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/07/2019 Status: Offline Author Share Posted June 9, 2019 8 hours ago, Jayne said: Just go back and edit your OP by cutting it into small paragraphs. No need to re-invent the wheel. By-the-by, I read the whole thing. Just based on what you've said.... 1. P does not sound like he will be any better of a husband than the one you have. I would flee from him. 2. Marriage counseling doesn't work with just one visit. The two of you married in haste - not timewise but decision-wise. You decided too quickly. Perhaps the marriage counseling should start from scratch. 3. You are miserable in your situation and anything looks better. That goes with spouses, people on diets, addicts trying to stop behaviors, and many things. Concentrate on mending what you have. 4. Concentrate on reading the Bible, praying, and drawing closer to God all by yourself. Thanks. Edited cept if it needs to be shorter again, i may assume advice is not based on all my true facts anymore & thus reduce my value for the responses... (Lol). Noted your bulleted advice. Not easy for me to want to stay in my marriage but using this month to try whatever I can majorly in prayers & soul searching. Only it would have been better if I am separated first from him. All I need to separate from P for now is refuse to communicate, though, that would be hard because I want to communicate but I can cut both off and get myself sorted if I have to... That means me moving out. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorriedHeart Posted June 9, 2019 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 15 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 9 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/07/2019 Status: Offline Author Share Posted June 9, 2019 1 hour ago, Marilyn C said: Hi WorriedHeart, I think you main problem, (as with all of us) is YOURSELF. You are very self focussed and if you want to get off the relational merry-go-round then you need to work on your attitude. Now no one will satisfy you, as you are really looking for some one like yourself. God is about changing us to be like Christ. That should be your (our) focus. As you humble yourself under the Lord, and work on those attitudes He highlights you will find contentment and peace and right relationships. Keep barging ahead under your own full steam and you will continue to have heart-ache and hurt. I do feel for you, as your personality is `driven` but if you are serious about change then repent of having yourself, in stead of the Lord as your Lord. praying Marilyn. You are right. But to process this well. I still need to separate from my H, don't I?.... I am choked on every side... I need to be alone and then, encounter my own mount with God. Because I do want to be as God would have me be. Thanks for the prayers. Bless you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debp Posted June 9, 2019 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 52 Topic Count: 1,014 Topics Per Day: 0.15 Content Count: 12,276 Content Per Day: 1.79 Reputation: 16,331 Days Won: 92 Joined: 07/19/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted June 9, 2019 Hi, I'm sorry I couldn't read your entire post either. But keeping things simple....first you and your husband really need to trust in Christ as your personal Savior and Lord. Seek to walk with Jesus as revealed in the Bible. Get your eyes on the Lord, not yourselves. Also, pray for understanding from your heart....this will help you to walk with the Lord from your heart. Head and heart work together when we are born again....knowing God's forgiveness and becoming God's child. I hope you and your husband will find a sound church so you can grow spiritually as you hear God's word preached. 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marilyn C Posted June 9, 2019 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 30 Topic Count: 266 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 13,181 Content Per Day: 3.50 Reputation: 8,482 Days Won: 12 Joined: 12/21/2013 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/06/1947 Share Posted June 9, 2019 14 hours ago, WorriedHeart said: You are right. But to process this well. I still need to separate from my H, don't I?.... I am choked on every side... I need to be alone and then, encounter my own mount with God. Because I do want to be as God would have me be. Thanks for the prayers. Bless you. Hi WorriedHeart, I`m glad you are seeing you need to work on your attitudes. You don`t have to leave your husband to do that as being together will actually bring to the surface your bad attitudes. Focus on these one at a time and don`t keep looking at the `speck in your husband`s eye.` I believe the Holy Spirit desires to give you a major overhaul and that will take prayer, humbling, and repentance. A good cleansing of the soul. Still praying, Marilyn. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marilyn C Posted June 10, 2019 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 30 Topic Count: 266 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 13,181 Content Per Day: 3.50 Reputation: 8,482 Days Won: 12 Joined: 12/21/2013 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/06/1947 Share Posted June 10, 2019 17 hours ago, WorriedHeart said: You are right. But to process this well. I still need to separate from my H, don't I?.... I am choked on every side... I need to be alone and then, encounter my own mount with God. Because I do want to be as God would have me be. Thanks for the prayers. Bless you. Hi WorriedHeart, I thought I`d add a bit more. Often when we have made ourselves the centre of life, it is them difficult to hear the Holy Spirit. Yes we say we are `such and such,` (name of denomination) but that is NOT us, but a statement of beliefs. We are a person growing in the Lord. Now I see that you need to address 2 things to start with, to get you rolling along hearing the Lord. 1. Address wrong expectations of others. 2. Humble yourself and develop a gentle heart and gentle talk with others. (Prov. 15: 1) You have been so `you` focussed that you are expecting your standard from others. You really need to sit back and let the Holy Spirit show you some good points about whoever. It is up to the Holy Spirit to work on the other person, and it is up to you, (& all of us) to ENCOURAGE each other and be THANKFUL for what we have, not complaining etc. As you humble yourself and begin to look at others through God`s eyes you will need to have gentle, soft answers to people and not have a bold, critical and demanding attitude. I believe you are one who, when pointed in the right direction will step up and work with the Holy Spirit. You have much energy and drive, but that needs to be harnessed to the Lord. His yoke is easy and His burden is light, so repent of your selfishness focus and go work on the new creation that God has planted within. all the best, Marilyn. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WorriedHeart Posted June 11, 2019 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 15 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 9 Days Won: 0 Joined: 06/07/2019 Status: Offline Author Share Posted June 11, 2019 Hi all. I have read and deeply appreciate insights into my affairs. Its been deep these few days but the unfortunate update is that we are still separating. A bit more with understanding as H has confessed without anger that the marriage as derailed him too esp in his career goals and he has no idea how to retrace back while still in the marriage. This is beside our personality differences and I must confess I am relieved to see a way out. I am praying still though, trying to see how God would lead me in this, knowing me better than anyone or myself could ever do. Correcting my wrongs. P and I are still friends. Though I am slowing down communications but my decisions are considered withoutbP in view, even though, I may or may not encourage the relationship later if I do divorce my H. Pls Pray with me. My English name is Elizabeth. Thanks. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marilyn C Posted June 11, 2019 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 30 Topic Count: 266 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 13,181 Content Per Day: 3.50 Reputation: 8,482 Days Won: 12 Joined: 12/21/2013 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/06/1947 Share Posted June 11, 2019 5 hours ago, WorriedHeart said: Hi all. I have read and deeply appreciate insights into my affairs. Its been deep these few days but the unfortunate update is that we are still separating. A bit more with understanding as H has confessed without anger that the marriage as derailed him too esp in his career goals and he has no idea how to retrace back while still in the marriage. This is beside our personality differences and I must confess I am relieved to see a way out. I am praying still though, trying to see how God would lead me in this, knowing me better than anyone or myself could ever do. Correcting my wrongs. P and I are still friends. Though I am slowing down communications but my decisions are considered withoutbP in view, even though, I may or may not encourage the relationship later if I do divorce my H. Pls Pray with me. My English name is Elizabeth. Thanks. Hi Elizabeth, Thank you for sharing how things are going. A separation may give you both time to get right with the Lord and learn to hear Him more clearly. A big wake up call I think. And that`s good you are not just picking up the other relationship. It is a time for a real look at your heart and life and perhaps recommit yourself again to the Lord, as Lord. I found keeping a sort of diary of what the Lord was highlighting to me, (attitudes etc) and also what scripture was highlighted in my reading of God`s word. It gave me a focus and to not get overwhelmed by the whole process. all the best, and still praying, Marilyn. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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