I'm upset and confused..

[Un Nessuno]

I don't enjoy going to church anymore
I love the people there, its just.. so hard. I'm blessed to have a pastor and preachers who preach the Truth and live it, they even admit their faults ( which is what your supposed to do according to the Bible ). But I'm just so sad. I wish we were never giving the option to sin. We could still have free will, but not the will to sin or WANT to sin. I'm so tired of knowing people will go to Hell, and then the Lake of Fire. Yes, people will be in Heaven, but I don't WANT to go to Heaven anymore, and I shouldn't have to. But unfortunately, that's not how it works. I don't want to go to Heaven and forget about the people that's in Hell/will be going to the Lake of Fire. I don't deserve it ( yes, yes, I know " nobody " does, but that doesn't help ). I don't even want to exist anymore, but of course, I'm still here. We should be here because we WANT to be here, not because others want us here ( in my opinion ).
I'm so tired of everything, and sometimes I ask God why He made things certain ways. Usually He will just say " I'm God ". That's great that He's God, but it's almost like an excuse to me now. I understand He can do anything He wants, but that doesn't mean He should ( in my opinion ). Like, I don't want people to be in the Lake of Fire forever, but God does. If He didn't, He would allow them to repent otherwise ( I'm not saying He won't, but if He won't allow it in Hell I'm assuming He won't let it in the Lake of Fire either ). And I know people say God doesn't hate anybody, but sometimes I doubt that. The reason I do is because people go to Hell ( I know this is there choice, and God doesn't WANT them to go ), but He doesn't allow them to repent. He also eventually sends them to the Lake of Fire. He may not hate them, but obviously ( from what I can tell ) He is still mad at them. If He wasn't, He wouldn't send them to a worse place than Hell. And then God talks about forgiveness, but He won't allow them to be sorry, so He won't forgive them. I don't like that, but I guess because He's God, he doesn't HAVE to.
I don't like this. I don't like some things God does, I don't like what Satan does. I don't like what people do, I don't like what I do. And then people say, " then why wont you change it? ". I'm not saying this to completely justify what I do, but I didn't want to exist in the first place, I didn't want to be born the way I was, but here I am! I shouldn't have to change, but at the same time I should ( in a way ). I just wish Evil wasn't made, and God didn't make it where " if one thing exist, then an exact opposite should exist ". And people say we have no excuse for sin ( it may even say that in the Bible IDK ), but that we will never be perfect ( it also may say THAT in the Bible ), then that's contradictory. Sure, we may obtain " perfect faith ", but that doesn't mean we won't sin!
There's other things I'm upset about, but who truly cares the way I want them to? Nobody. Nobody besides myself. And I HATE myself, but at LEAST I have myself for that!
Some people may say " if God doesn't worry about it, then you shouldn't either ", but I WANT to worry about it. Maybe then God can understand me better. Yes, I know the Bible says that God knows how much hair we have on our heads, but I still don't believe He TRULY knows me. If He did, then He wouldn't do certain things, and He would allow other things WITHOUT them being sin to Him. Because He doesn't truly understand. He does understand A LOT about us, and He is very merciful and patient ( trust me, He shows me that a lot! ), but He doesn't truly understand sin. I know people say God knows everything, but for God to know everything, that means He has to understand it, yet He doesn't understand sin? That doesn't make a lot of sense to me. If God understood sin ( in my opinion ) He would be even MORE merciful and patient with us, He may have not even made Hell! But these are just my thoughts, and they don't truly matter to Him or else He would come down and understand sin. But I do thank Him for some things He does, and I need to be MORE thankful in some areas, but I don't understand things. And I don't want to go to Heaven just to figure them out. Like I said before, I don't want to go to Heaven and I shouldn't HAVE to want to go.
This post isn't to bash God, but its to tell my thoughts and explain why and how I think certain things.

I am Saved, God Saved me April 16, 2017. But I'm having trouble with so many things.

 

I know I would be considered " a young Christian " which could explain why I don't know a lot. I even know Jesus had to learn obedience when He was on Earth, but I don't understand that. Also, God wants things to come in certain seasons, but can't God just help us to obtain more information as soon as we ask for it? Like, He could help us take it all in? I'm really confused

[Neighbor]

7 hours ago, Un Nessuno said:

I don't enjoy going to church anymore

Happens.

Yep, happens to many if not all born again believers for a variety of reasons.  Sometimes it is a good thing too! For it causes one to move on to yet another local body of Christ Jesus, which may be what God wants of any particular individual. God may want a believer to move on to learn to more be a participant in service to God for His glory.

Many a sermon, many a teaching class concentrates on the don'ts, and the flaws, and the negative; and yet there are the do's. Learn the do's, for they are joyous to the heart mind and spirit and very soul.

[AnOrangeCat]

Hello! You have a complicated post so I'm not sure I can address it all. I'll touch on points of it as I'm able to, but I think that at least in part you suffer from some false assumptions that aren't scriptural.

First off, God does understand sin. Take Hebrews 4:15, which says this in reference to Jesus. "For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet he did not sin." Jesus faced temptations as we do. While He didn't give in to it, He did take it on Himself. He did come down and understand sin.

God is also beyond time. People have been blessed with prophecies that come from God. Scripture speaks of God knowing us before we were born in Psalm 139:16. This sentiment is repeated elsewhere in the Bible. Believe it or not, God DOES understand you and everyone else and has understood us all since before we were even born.

You said you hate yourself. You shouldn't. Psalm 139:14 tells us that we're "fearfully and wonderfully made". I believe strongly in embracing that attitude. God sees us all as worth creating, loving, and sending His Son to die for us. If God can find things to love about us then certainly we should be able to as well.

Regarding sinful nature, consider these. "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me." (Psalm 51:10), " Incline my heart to your testimonies, and not to selfish gain!" (Psalm 119:36) These verses and others like them throughout the Bible express part of the same sentiment you have in your post, and they're both directed both inward at the writers themselves and toward humanity as a whole. We're all called on to change and be transformed by the renewing of our minds.

In closing, consider how you feel when a person constantly offends you and acts against you. Imagine that you'd made a tremendous sacrifice for them and given them good things. Eventually you'd probably cease to associate with them entirely. God gives us a lifetime to turn to Him. Quite often sin doesn't stop at the individual sinner. It creates ripples that go outwards and affect other people. This is why at some point it has to go.

[diane32]

Hi Un Nessuno

I am so sorry you are having all this confusion running around your head and like Sonshine said God is not the author of confusion but the devil is...the devil knows the impact you can have on the people around you if you were to live fully and free in Jesus. The devil wants to keep you confused and dwelling on anything except the truth so he can keep you from telling the world the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ. In Ephasians we are told to put on the armour of God and do you know why? Because there is a spiritual battle going on and it's real...Eph 6:10-12  Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. ¹¹ Put on the full armor of God,so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. ¹² For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms

I cried when I read your post because a lot of what you said is what I have been struggling with lately. The difference is I do want to go to heaven but because of my willfull sinning I'm struggling to believe that I will get there...it's funny how when I read your post I was able to think of ways to encourage and tell you the truth yet in my own life I'm struggling to accept God's forgiveness and grace...can I tell you why I believe we are struggling like this ? because we are not putting on the armour of God and standing firm against the attacks of the enemy, we are letting the enemy confuse us and lie to us and deceive us instead of filling our minds with the word of God! When we do that, then God changes us and our thinking to align with scripture...at the minute the bible seems cantradictory to me too but thats because I'm not understanding it from the power of the Holy Spirit but instead I'm trying to understand it in my own mind and heart and without the Holy Spirit we will not grasp the truth of the bible! I've been a bit annoyed that God created me and created hell etc but the thing is we will never while here on earth fully understand what it's all about and why it had to be like this but the truth is whether we like it or not we were created and hell is real and so is heaven...but if we can pour our hearts out to God and tell Him all that is going on in our minds and hearts and seek Him in His word like searching for something so valuable to us that we lost that we need to find, then God will open our spiritual understandin again I believe so we can see from the Spirit and not from the flesh...I pray that you hear something from God today that you really need to hear...and also God isn't angry at you for thinking this way, He loves you so much and He understands our human minds get confused and the enemy is very real but God is greater and He will help you and love you through this I believe...Thank you for feeling you can share this here because you have helped me this morning.. Jesus died to save us that is a massive sacrifice...God Himself came to the earth and walked a walk that we couldn't walk so that we could spend eternity with Him...one day you will be so thankful and I pray that day is sooner than you think...God bless you ?

[nobleseed]

God does not want anyone to go to hell, that's why he gave us his son so we may not go there and it did not end in his death but glory.  and only people whose name are not in the book of life will be there, that is the like of fire, these are the rapists, molasters, murderers and all who do the worst evil.  the rest will be judged and dealt with accordingly.  and u do not want to go to heaven, that is up to u, no one knows what happens straight away or what choices we will have,  and u sound very depressed so i suggest u do something that makes u happy like watch a movie, play a game or read a book or something else u desire, and look at all u have, open the fridge and see whats good to eat, go shopping and buy what u want and need, and do not worry  about what u do not understand, that comes with time and experience and remember God loves u very much and no one u love will ever go to hell.

[Neighbor]

8 hours ago, Un Nessuno said:

He could help us take it all in? I'm really confused

God does help "us" take it all in.

Lets go to the beginning, and take that in as a start. In the beginning what? What does the word of God the Bible state? How about starting with a prayer, Father help us to enjoy your word, to read it, see it, hear it, and absorb it. May your Holy Spirit that indwells me enlighten my mind, encourage my heart turn my tongue to songs of praise of your Glory. As I read may I read the entirety of passages with complete thoughts, may I not stop to see verse numbers and other distractions, may I read for the pleasure of your company and to my enlightenment, so that I may be better equipped to be your willing servant.

Let's first find the joy in God's word, then later find the do's, find the glory that is God in all that is read in the word of God. Starting right with Genesis, skipping the references, skipping the verse numbers, skipping the footnotes, as all are added by man. Just read What God has had written that is inspired by Him  for you and for me. Is it not a joy to read of the awesome setting God created?

"In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. The earth was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God was hovering over the face of the waters.

 And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.  And God saw that the light was good. And God separated the light from the darkness.  God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And there was evening and there was morning, the first day.

 And God said, “Let there be an expanse in the midst of the waters, and let it separate the waters from the waters.”  And God made the expanse and separated the waters that were under the expanse from the waters that were above the expanse. And it was so.  And God called the expanse Heaven. And there was evening and there was morning, the second day.

 And God said, “Let the waters under the heavens be gathered together into one place, and let the dry land appear.” And it was so.  God called the dry land Earth, and the waters that were gathered together he called Seas. And God saw that it was good.

 And God said, “Let the earth sprout vegetation, plants yielding seed, and fruit trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind, on the earth.” And it was so.  The earth brought forth vegetation, plants yielding seed according to their own kinds, and trees bearing fruit in which is their seed, each according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.  And there was evening and there was morning, the third day.

 And God said, “Let there be lights in the expanse of the heavens to separate the day from the night. And let them be for signs and for seasons, and for days and years,  and let them be lights in the expanse of the heavens to give light upon the earth.” And it was so.  And God made the two great lights—the greater light to rule the day and the lesser light to rule the night—and the stars. And God set them in the expanse of the heavens to give light on the earth,  to rule over the day and over the night, and to separate the light from the darkness. And God saw that it was good.  And there was evening and there was morning, the fourth day.

 And God said, “Let the waters swarm with swarms of living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the expanse of the heavens.”  So God created the great sea creatures and every living creature that moves, with which the waters swarm, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.  And God blessed them, saying, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the waters in the seas, and let birds multiply on the earth.”  And there was evening and there was morning, the fifth day.

 And God said, “Let the earth bring forth living creatures according to their kinds—livestock and creeping things and beasts of the earth according to their kinds.” And it was so.  And God made the beasts of the earth according to their kinds and the livestock according to their kinds, and everything that creeps on the ground according to its kind. And God saw that it was good.

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”

 So God created man in his own image,
    in the image of God he created him;
    male and female he created them.

 And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”  And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so.  And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.

Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them.  And on the seventh day God finished his work that he had done, and he rested on the seventh day from all his work that he had done.  So God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it God rested from all his work that he had done in creation.

These are the generations
of the heavens and the earth when they were created,
in the day that the Lord God made the earth and the heavens.

 When no bush of the field was yet in the land and no small plant of the field had yet sprung up—for the Lord God had not caused it to rain on the land, and there was no man to work the ground,  and a mist was going up from the land and was watering the whole face of the ground—  then the Lord God formed the man of dust from the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living creature.  And the Lord God planted a garden in Eden, in the east, and there he put the man whom he had formed.  And out of the ground the Lord God made to spring up every tree that is pleasant to the sight and good for food. The tree of life was in the midst of the garden, and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

 A river flowed out of Eden to water the garden, and there it divided and became four rivers.  The name of the first is the Pishon. It is the one that flowed around the whole land of Havilah, where there is gold.  And the gold of that land is good; bdellium and onyx stone are there.  The name of the second river is the Gihon. It is the one that flowed around the whole land of Cush.  And the name of the third river is the Tigris, which flows east of Assyria. And the fourth river is the Euphrates.

 The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it.  And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden,  but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.”

 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”  Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name.  The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him.  So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.  Then the man said,

“This at last is bone of my bones
    and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called Woman,
    because she was taken out of Man.”

 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.  And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed."....

 

 

 

 

[Justin Adams]

Read how Jeremiah was called to live in misery and intercede for God's people.

What I hear you saying is that if we did not have the freedom to do the wrong thing, then that would be OK.

However, if you are an automaton, then how can you know freedom or wish it for others?

If you have heart for the lost, then you are seeing how the Lord feels. He bent over backwards to redeem us without violating our freedoms. How terrible is that?

The devil hates us and hates our freedoms. He tries to tie us in knots over it and generally want us to fail big time. We strain at a gnat and swallow a camel. Why? Because we (like haSatan) want to remake God in our own flawed image.

Satan wants us to main-line on ourselves and how we 'feel' is a first step to making us totally ineffectual.

So let God be God and you just be yourself and do not try to figure it all out in your own mind. If all you can do, at your best, is just be an unprofitable servant; then you are a son/daughter of the King.

Just do YOUR PART and let God handle the rest.

[GandalfTheWise]

10 hours ago, Un Nessuno said:

I know I would be considered " a young Christian " which could explain why I don't know a lot. I even know Jesus had to learn obedience when He was on Earth, but I don't understand that. Also, God wants things to come in certain seasons, but can't God just help us to obtain more information as soon as we ask for it? Like, He could help us take it all in? I'm really confused

My observation is that pretty much all young Christians have doubts and questions and fears and struggles.  I've found that the most effective solution is usually not more information and answers but rather a deeper trust and confidence in God via relationship.  This is something that only comes with time and exposure.   I know many people in my life.  The trust and confidence I have in each of them varies with how well I've come to know them and their actions and attitudes.  When the Bible talks about faith, a very big part of that is similar to the concepts of trust and confidence as we think of them with other people.  It is not about intellectually removing doubts about God but rather developing over time a sense of familiarity, trust, and confidence wherein God is not so much a stranger but a familiar Person in our life.

When it comes to answers to the big questions in life, I've found that trust and confidence in God is in some sense like having built adult strength and musculature that lets us more easily carry heavier loads.    A small child can try to help around the house or garage or yard trying to do chores or handle things like rakes or shovels or tools.  But these things are simply too heavy and unwieldy for a child to move and utilize.  Over time as they grow and mature, those things that they formerly struggled to lift and move simply become a normal part of life.   The tools and loads and other things haven't changed;  what has changed is our ability to use them.   One of our next door neighbors (a good Christian) has a garage full of wood working equipment and he is a craftsmen.  There's a teenage boy with some type of intellectual disability on the street who hangs out with him and at times uses some of the safer tools to do things.  After a few hours of work, our neighbor put out a well built flower planter.  In that same time, the teenage boy had nailed together a few boards and drilled several holes in them and lost a key chuck for a drill.  The Bible, theology books, sermons, reference books, and the like are all tools.  It is our ability and capability of using them that determines what we get out of them.  This is something that grows with time and practice.

What you describe is not uncommon.  Most Christians go through struggles unique to them.  The best spiritual advice I ever got was when I had a blessed opportunity to spend an hour or so in a small group with a lifelong missionary who'd spent a few decades literally in jungles in Africa and then many years as a leader and mentor training and encouraging new and experienced missionaries.  Someone asked him what was the best spiritual advice he could give us.  It was "hang in there".   At first, a few of us thought he was joking and then was going to give us the real advice.  But he was serious.  He said that every Christian, every minister, everyone walking in Christ, will face rough times that drag them down and make them feel like giving up.  He'd tell them to hang in there and keep going.  So, I'll pass that on to you.  Hang in there.      In over 4 decades of being a Christian, there've been a few times where church, worship, fellowship, and other things felt dry and even oppressive and depressing.  The thing is that dark valleys will eventually give way to lighter mountain slopes and better terrain.  So, keep pressing forward and hang in there.

[other one]

14 hours ago, Un Nessuno said:

I don't enjoy going to church anymore
I love the people there, its just.. so hard. I'm blessed to have a pastor and preachers who preach the Truth and live it, they even admit their faults ( which is what your supposed to do according to the Bible ). But I'm just so sad. I wish we were never giving the option to sin. We could still have free will, but not the will to sin or WANT to sin. I'm so tired of knowing people will go to Hell, and then the Lake of Fire. Yes, people will be in Heaven, but I don't WANT to go to Heaven anymore, and I shouldn't have to. But unfortunately, that's not how it works. I don't want to go to Heaven and forget about the people that's in Hell/will be going to the Lake of Fire. I don't deserve it ( yes, yes, I know " nobody " does, but that doesn't help ). I don't even want to exist anymore, but of course, I'm still here. We should be here because we WANT to be here, not because others want us here ( in my opinion ).

I find your situation rather intriguing.     We all go through cycles of up's and down's through our walk with the Lord....     If you love the people at your church consider what you are wanting out of a church that makes it unsatisfying to be there....     Consider getting involved in more than just attending.

As for your feeling about sin,  I don't know anyone who doesn't wish we didn't have to deal with it, but one should consider  why God wants us to get a handle on sin before we get bodies that last for eternity.     And maybe, just maybe God has laid on your heart to hurt for those who are perishing to drive you into doing something about it...   when you see those that you know are perishing go to them and introduce them to the Lord.

Not wanting to go to heaven any longer is something I don't understand....   are you upset with God because he set things up the way he has?

Understand that when God made Lucifer (Satan) he was the grandest thing that was ever made.....    and Satan turned on him because of his pride in himself.   We, when we receive our eternal bodies, really don't know precisely what we will be doing...   how much authority will be designated to each of in the Heavenly realm...      so just trust the Lord that he knows what he's doing and work to get as many as you can to understand how important eternal existence is.

[Who me]

Your post is full of sadness and confusion, may I suggest that you talk to your pastor or to his wife about your sadness.

You need someone who can provide the counceling to easy your heartache.

Please arrange to talk to someone you trust.