Popular Post Dennis1209 Posted June 18, 2019 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 17 Topic Count: 347 Topics Per Day: 0.13 Content Count: 7,445 Content Per Day: 2.70 Reputation: 5,363 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/27/2016 Status: Offline Popular Post Share Posted June 18, 2019 (edited) 8 hours ago, Sower said: . I don't know what happened to your OP but read it quoted below by Blood Bought? Your experiences and thoughts exactly mirror mine. I didn't want to go into a lot of detail, but I'm glad you did. Perhaps this is an appropriate time and place to include some of my personal testimony. I'm personally speaking again just about myself; I don't want to blame an experience for my change, choices and actions; I wanted to maintain control, or so I thought. I was amazed at the outright disrespect and hostility I experienced even before overseas deployment. Not to mention being spat at and other things, my AIT buddy and I were hitchhiking in uniform to his parents house early in 1971 for the weekend since we didn't have C.Q. or duty, they lived in Streetsboro, Ohio. Getting close to Streetsboro, occasionally a car would swerve off toward us on the shoulder of the road acting like they wanted to hit us. As you know, there's little time and no incentive to keep up with news and current events in basic training and AIT. Little did we know we were at the wrong place at the wrong time. Streetsboro, Ohio is just a few miles from Kent State University and we did not know what had just recently transpired there. Anywho; somewhere along the way I developed a tough guy persona (not the real me), that effected my relationships and especially my marriage and raising my children. I didn't want to remain in the active Army [to much hurry up and wait], but I wanted to keep my options open and my feet wet. So I transferred to the U.S.A.R., rounding out my career as a company First Sergeant. During those times being away for drills, extra time in preparations as a platoon sergeant, 1st Sergeant, etc., yearly summer camps and overseas deployment again [not to mention home and family responsibilities and hostile employer to my military obligations]... I'm sure I'm singing to the choir here. All during this time I was not whole, complete or myself; the best way I can explain it, I was putting on a show and projecting someone I was not inwardly. All during this time I knew something was missing, and I knew what it was but I kept resisting, I can do it myself. I proved to family, friends and onlookers I had need of no one, I could do it myself. All the while deceiving myself and having this empty void inside of me filled with unmerited anger, resentment and hurt. This is getting very long, so the short of it is; I was hurting and had more problems than Carter had liver pills. During this period I probably drank an Olympic size swimming pool of beer. The Holy Spirit had been whispering in my ear for this whole time and I vehemently rejected listening. One day a few years ago is was a beautiful day outside, out of the blue against everything I thought I was and tried to project; I broke down like a little baby with tears flowing and sobbing uncontrollably. I dropped to my knees and repented, I begged the Lord to forgive me and take me back into His fold, I'm a fool and I'm so very sorry. You talk about a miracle... Not later on, but immediately a joy that surpasses understanding returned inside of me. I was immediately healed and my problems got resolved, my want to's and attitude did a 180, my life did a complete turn around. No AA, no professional help and counseling, no time wasted; the power of Christ alone in one instant changed me and healed me. A little later on this Bible verse popped off the page at me: Philippians 1:6 (KJV) Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ: Edited June 18, 2019 by Dennis1209 2 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sower Posted June 18, 2019 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 14 Topic Count: 32 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 5,242 Content Per Day: 0.97 Reputation: 5,844 Days Won: 1 Joined: 07/09/2009 Status: Offline Share Posted June 18, 2019 43 minutes ago, Dennis1209 said: I don't know what happened to your OP but read it quoted below by Blood Bought? Your experiences and thoughts exactly mirror mine. I didn't want to go into a lot of detail, but I'm glad you did. Perhaps this is an appropriate time and place to include some of my personal testimony. I'm personally speaking again just about myself; I don't want to blame an experience for my change, choices and actions; I wanted to maintain control, or so I thought. I deleted it. I stayed up way too late and spent too many hours, trying to say things I wanted to share with other brothers in arms, and at the end, realized the flood of words were drumming up old memories. I needed to look at them and accept them, and put em back on the shelf. After posting, I felt the old familiar shame. It had resurfaced. It was only posted a minute or two before I deleted. Too late. (need to be more diligent!!... ) 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dennis1209 Posted June 18, 2019 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 17 Topic Count: 347 Topics Per Day: 0.13 Content Count: 7,445 Content Per Day: 2.70 Reputation: 5,363 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/27/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted June 18, 2019 16 minutes ago, Sower said: I deleted it. I stayed up way too late and spent too many hours, trying to say things I wanted to share with other brothers in arms, and at the end, realized the flood of words were drumming up old memories. I needed to look at them and accept them, and put em back on the shelf. After posting, I felt the old familiar shame. It had resurfaced. It was only posted a minute or two before I deleted. Too late. (need to be more diligent!!... ) There's nothing shameful on how you feel or what you wrote. Your thoughts, emotions and experiences are shared by multitudes. I've found that sometimes sharing and talking about things others have experienced takes some weight off my chest. Bad memories are just that, bad memories of the past. There's nothing I can do about the past, or the things I did in the past. By the Grace and intervention of God, He relieved me of those memories and put them to rest in the closet of past history. I've learned from history but I try to stay focused on today, the now. I don't understand the Lord's plan for my life or what He has in store for me. The Lord has a divine plan for each of His children. The Lord always answers His children's prayers; the answer is either yes, no, or wait. The waiting seems to be for God's perfect timing and divine purpose. What immediately comes to my mind that comforts me, and sometimes I struggle to keep in mind... Is the Apostle Paul's struggle with some sort of extremely severe thorn in his side. No one knows what that bothersome problem was; it's speculated from scholars everything from Paul's failing eyesight to Satan's constant darts thrown at him. Whatever is was; is caused Paul to pray to the Lord 'three' times to have it removed. I take the Lord at His word when He replied: 2 Corinthians 12:9 (KJV) And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 1 2 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sower Posted June 18, 2019 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 14 Topic Count: 32 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 5,242 Content Per Day: 0.97 Reputation: 5,844 Days Won: 1 Joined: 07/09/2009 Status: Offline Share Posted June 18, 2019 2 hours ago, Dennis1209 said: There's nothing shameful on how you feel or what you wrote. Your thoughts, emotions and experiences are shared by multitudes. I've found that sometimes sharing and talking about things others have experienced takes some weight off my chest. Bad memories are just that, bad memories of the past Thank you for your kind words, Dennis. I have to say, I felt no shame for joining and fighting for our country. The guilt/shame 'memories' were from peers and the comfortable public spewing their uninformed insults upon the returning veterans, who were fighting to give these same ones the freedom to do so. The politicians were the ones who sent us there, then forgot us. Cannon fodder. By the way, Dennis, I remember a couple of army sayings. "The officers may give he orders, but it's the sergeants that run the army"................ "The sergeant is the Army." -- Dwight D. Eisenhower 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reinitin Posted June 18, 2019 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 13 Topic Count: 51 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 2,366 Content Per Day: 0.78 Reputation: 2,150 Days Won: 9 Joined: 01/10/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted June 18, 2019 (edited) On 6/17/2019 at 4:00 AM, Debp said: Was watching 20/20 and they told of a new treatment for PTSD which actually works, and works immediately! It is called SGB for short. An injection is given in the neck. The substance helps to calm the fight or flight response which is out of control due to the severe trauma experienced by those with PTSD. Soldiers were interviewed after their treatment and felt they finally had their life back. The injections can last up to six months. If you know of any PTSD sufferers that are veterans, tell them to ask the VA hospital about this new treatment. You can look into treatment for PTSD with horses, too. They have some increditable studies and program's proving the exposure of close proximity working with horses stabilises the Dopamine, Serotonin, Adrenalin and endorphins creating depression, instability and flash backs. The government has acquired some of their own herds and are using them for transitioning soldiers out of combat and it is working. Their are also prison's using horses in christian programs the same way to stabalize brain chemistry that have excellent success rates. If your interested I can explain the science behind it but it would probably bore most people. I worked on one of the studies in the late 80's where we were testing dopamine levels in schizophrenics after 30 minute exposure to herds from different distances at the beginning of the realization that horses have a huge effect on mental health. Edited June 18, 2019 by Reinitin 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ayin jade Posted June 18, 2019 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 44 Topic Count: 6,178 Topics Per Day: 0.88 Content Count: 43,795 Content Per Day: 6.22 Reputation: 11,242 Days Won: 58 Joined: 01/03/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted June 18, 2019 53 minutes ago, Sower said: the comfortable public spewing their uninformed insults upon the returning veterans All too sadly this still happens. My father, a decorated korean war vet, was at a local college for some vet related event a few years ago and upon leaving, a college student called him a murderer. I appreciate all our vets have done at least. 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bropro Posted June 18, 2019 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 16 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 212 Content Per Day: 0.10 Reputation: 314 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/29/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted June 18, 2019 7 hours ago, Sower said: I deleted it. I stayed up way too late and spent too many hours, trying to say things I wanted to share with other brothers in arms, and at the end, realized the flood of words were drumming up old memories. I needed to look at them and accept them, and put em back on the shelf. After posting, I felt the old familiar shame. It had resurfaced. It was only posted a minute or two before I deleted. Too late. (need to be more diligent!!... ) Thanks for your service, and Semper Fi. Glad you made it home safely. Gary 1 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bropro Posted June 18, 2019 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 16 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 212 Content Per Day: 0.10 Reputation: 314 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/29/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted June 18, 2019 7 hours ago, Dennis1209 said: There's nothing shameful on how you feel or what you wrote. Your thoughts, emotions and experiences are shared by multitudes. I've found that sometimes sharing and talking about things others have experienced takes some weight off my chest. Bad memories are just that, bad memories of the past. There's nothing I can do about the past, or the things I did in the past. By the Grace and intervention of God, He relieved me of those memories and put them to rest in the closet of past history. I've learned from history but I try to stay focused on today, the now. I don't understand the Lord's plan for my life or what He has in store for me. The Lord has a divine plan for each of His children. The Lord always answers His children's prayers; the answer is either yes, no, or wait. The waiting seems to be for God's perfect timing and divine purpose. What immediately comes to my mind that comforts me, and sometimes I struggle to keep in mind... Is the Apostle Paul's struggle with some sort of extremely severe thorn in his side. No one knows what that bothersome problem was; it's speculated from scholars everything from Paul's failing eyesight to Satan's constant darts thrown at him. Whatever is was; is caused Paul to pray to the Lord 'three' times to have it removed. I take the Lord at His word when He replied: 2 Corinthians 12:9 (KJV) And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Thanks for your service Dennis, and welcome home. Gary 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blood Bought 1953 Posted June 19, 2019 Group: Royal Member Followers: 13 Topic Count: 48 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 6,726 Content Per Day: 2.89 Reputation: 6,258 Days Won: 5 Joined: 12/03/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted June 19, 2019 8 hours ago, ayin jade said: All too sadly this still happens. My father, a decorated korean war vet, was at a local college for some vet related event a few years ago and upon leaving, a college student called him a murderer. I appreciate all our vets have done at least. What a pig that student was.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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