1. My Life Before Christ
Before I found my true love, Jesus Christ, I was full of lust and perversion, proud, sadistic, angry, vengeful, argumentative, disrespectful to my family, manipulative, self-hating, apathetic towards life, anxious, God-hating, brute, depressed, black metal loving, Christian hating, evolutionist, Jesus Christ denying Satanist.
To give a quick back story, when I was 11, I had an experience with an entity. At the age of 13, I became obsessed with aliens and UFOs to the point I sought contact. After succeeding, I had several disturbing experiences with what I now know to be demons; I thought they were aliens at the time.
At the age of 14, I learned about Tarot, and got my first deck at 15. It was at that point I got into "New Age", experimenting with channeling, believing I was an indigo child. At the age of 17, I left the "New Age" and ventured into Vampyrism. Half a year later, I delved into Crowley and briefly looked into Satanism.
Near the end of my 17th year, I decided I'd become a LaVeyan Satanist when I was 18; the age I considered myself a legal adult. Six months into my eighteenth year, I became a Theistic Satanist. I stayed in that for a number of years, branching off into generic dark occultism, then to Atheism, and finally as a result of several supernatural experiences to Theistic Luciferianism.
During this time, I experienced numerous nightmarish manifestations. However, I was too blinded by pride, stubbornness, and a lust for power and knowledge to care of the end road.
I knew I was going to Hell, I knew Hell was real, I knew Satan hated me, and I even went so far as to tell God Himself to scrape off my name from the Lamb's Book of Life.
Towards the end, I began building a Luciferian order, gathering members, building doctrine, and so on. It was at this point that I knew I was far beyond the point of no return.
2. How I Came to Jesus Christ
God saw it fit to take the things I was obsessed over, the things I worshiped, and shatter them so completely, I could never pick up the pieces. Everything I believed in, He destroyed. Everything I loved and which I would escape into, He obliterated. Nothing remained.
At the time, I didn't know God was responsible for doing this and ended up lost in a two-week long depression of the likes I had never experienced before. I literally cried when I would look up at the sky, so I kept my eyes to the ground, secluding myself in the darkness of my room as much as I was able.
Once the depression turned into a tolerable numbness, I told Satan I had no interest in lying about things anymore for him. I told him I was simply, "done" with all the deception and didn't care that I was breaking my oath and my contract, nor of the consequences of doing so; I was fully prepared to lose everything.
With that, I walked away from Luciferianism, deciding that while I was still going to Hell, I could at least do some good in the world. I felt so hopeless, so confused, and so lost, though I knew not to expect forgiveness from God, though I apologized to Him anyways, leaving it at that.
I took everything occult I owned, shoved it in a bag, and to the landfill it went. I deleted all my files, destroyed my organization, renounced everything from my past, and moved on.
One week later, despite how unworthy and disgusting I felt about who I was and what I had done, I repented fully to God. Two weeks from that point, when I was still 33 years old, I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I prayed that I would come to know and love Him.
3. My Life With Christ
The lord has transformed me. Where I was full of lust and perversion, The Lord has caused disgust and nausea to well in me at the very thought of my prior perversions. Where I once championed pride, The Lord has brought me down to show me humility. Where I was once sadistic, The Lord has shown me mercy and compassion. Where I was angry, The Lord has shown me joy. Where I was vengeful, The Lord has made me detest vengeance. Where I was argumentative, The Lord has been teaching me patience and longsuffering.
Where I was disrespectful to my family and elders, The Lord has blessed me, healing the wounds I caused, teaching me respect and patience. Where I was manipulative, The Lord has shown me service. Where I was self-hating, The Lord has shown me that I'm made in His Mighty Image. Where I was apathetic towards life and nature, The Lord has shown me the beauty of both, for He made it all. Where I was God-hating and unloving, The Lord has planted and watered a seed which is growing into love.
Where I was brute, The Lord has shown me grace. Where I was depressed, The Lord has showered me with peace. Where I was confused, The Lord has shown me knowledge and has lit my way. Where I loved chaotic music, The Lord has turned me to harmony. Where I hated Christians and sought to divide them, The Lord has converted my heart, blessing me with a need to bring unity. Where I was an evolutionist, The Lord showed me the truth of Creation. Where I denied Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ has redeemed me. Where I was a Satanist, destined for Hell, Jesus Christ brought me to the wonderful and precious knowledge of His saving Grace.
Praise His Mighty Name! Thank you, Jesus, for showing me that even as far as I fell, You were there, always, and you never stopped loving me.
For the unbelievers reading this, know that Jesus Christ is real and so is His Power and Authority. Know that He can save you as He saved me if only you ask Him. Know that He can transform your life and give you real purpose, real love, and real knowledge if only you will turn to Him.
Creator of Mankind Podcast
Episode 5: Eternal Life Through Christ Part 1
I never heard these talked about in the churches or the pulpit. But this is very important for a Christian.
Please comment and share. I need your opinions and reactions.
By Jonathan BeWell
Please forgive me. I have been addressing you all wrong. I cannot claim a righteous anger defence [11 Brothers and sisters, do not slander one another. Anyone who speaks against a brother or sister or judges them speaks against the law and judges it. When you judge the law, you are not keeping it, but sitting in judgment on it. 12 There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you-who are you to judge your neighbor? - James 4:11-12 New International Version (NIV)]. God wants better. I cannot scare you into heaven anymore than I can drag out of hell. God is in control. He makes and lets everything happen. All has and will happen for Christians' good [28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose. - Romans 8:28 (NIV)]. My questionable Facebook activity has led to this apology and following testimony. May it encourage you and give you hope. Praise God.
Jesus Christ saved me from homosexual tendencies [10 for the sexually immoral, for those practicing homosexuality, for slave traders and liars and perjurers-and for whatever else is contrary to the sound doctrine - 1 Timothy 1:10 (NIV)]. In my dark past I flirted with ideas, the scene and foreplay of man on man sexual relations. In the moment of those times it was a distraction and escape from my living hell. Such activity always had bad consequences [35 "Therefore this is what the Sovereign Lord says: Since you have forgotten me and turned your back on me, you must bear the consequences of your lewdness and prostitution." - Ezekiel 23:35 (NIV)]. Yet like a nicotine addiction I was drawn back to get lost in that fleeting moment of oblivion. It and I was miserable. I will not give details here and now publicly. In person I am happy to answer questions and share Christ's solution with you. Praise God.
I love you. I care for your well being. My half life of suffering has grown great compassion and empathy. I weep and mourn for the lost, rejected, down trodden and oppressed, spit upon and left for dead. I know and understand because I was there as one of them. Now I am found, nurtured, lifted up and suffering gladly only because of Jesus Christ [17 But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,' declares the Lord, 'because you are called an outcast, Zion for whom no one cares.' - Jeremiah 30:17 (NIV)]. Praise God.
He saved me from my living hell involving depression, drugs, marijuana, alcoholism, willful sin, pornography, homosexual tendencies, the occult, blasphemy, loneliness, numbness and people who accepted this and let it persist [3 For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do-living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. - 1 Peter 4:3 (NIV)]. Now I am healed, restored, alive and well because I believe and am born again. I bear much fruit and look forward to a bright future in Christ. I will never return to the enemy. It pains me to look back or even be reminded of such serious suffering. I am sorry for your suffering. I am sorry I made you suffer. I continue to repent. Life is good to wake up to eternally because of the Son of God, my personal Saviour, our Lord [12 Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to mankind by which we must be saved." - Acts 4:12 (NIV)]. Thank God.
By Jonathan BeWell
I read the entire "Christian's going to hell" thread and was about to jump in with my own reply. I did not realize the limitations of this forum section. I suppose that is fine. I got a lot out of what was discussed but still struggle with some of it. I get all the points of views, proof, beliefs and such. I am not trying to call out or trap anyone. I am a baby Christian and have honest questions for clarification. I pray we can all come to an agreement on God's word and truth.
I was hoping we could base the discussion on Matthew 25 ( https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+25&version=NIV ) and how it related to the thread I could not jump in on. My question is this. Does Matthew 25 add or take away from any and all posts made there by *everyone*?
I have more specific questions too. The ten virgins for starters, do they not represent Christians covered in the blood of Jesus? I am not clear on the oil in their lamps as well. I suppose it could relate to my above general question.
I am wrestling with all this. I believe I am a born again Christian. I have faith in my salvation. I am concerned about others I care for and love. I will elaborate and add more enquiries as this thread develops. May opportunities open to know and understand the Holy Trinity better. Be well, content and helpful in the Lord.