Jump to content
Figure of eighty

How to address this situation..

Recommended Posts

So my whole family moved in with my brother. So its 5 in a 1 bedroom. Before i was expecting I of course helped financially...but now that Im further along and in school i cant. So my mom basically goes half and half with my brother like i used to. ( just a little back ground) 

 

Now the issue is.. My aunt and cousin and their kids live next door and almosy daily like clock work...when i get home from school or work.. They're at our place sittinf on the couch eating food and greeting me. 

Its one thing to come over every now and then but this is almost daily. And they stay late till 11p sometimes 1am. When i was working id work late and come home at midnight and they still be over. Sometimes they can be a bit rude ordering my brother to make him food or get them stuff. 

I feel i have no say bc im not doing anything fincancially anymore....but my mom has talked to my brother nothing got done. 

 

Its just very invasive and disrespectful imo. 

 

It just seems wrong bc we'd never do that to them..

 

Should i just keep quiet sbout this?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Figure of eighty said:

So my whole family moved in with my brother. So its 5 in a 1 bedroom. Before i was expecting I of course helped financially...but now that Im further along and in school i cant. So my mom basically goes half and half with my brother like i used to. ( just a little back ground) 

 

Now the issue is.. My aunt and cousin and their kids live next door and almosy daily like clock work...when i get home from school or work.. They're at our place sittinf on the couch eating food and greeting me. 

Its one thing to come over every now and then but this is almost daily. And they stay late till 11p sometimes 1am. When i was working id work late and come home at midnight and they still be over. Sometimes they can be a bit rude ordering my brother to make him food or get them stuff. 

I feel i have no say bc im not doing anything fincancially anymore....but my mom has talked to my brother nothing got done. 

 

Its just very invasive and disrespectful imo. 

 

It just seems wrong bc we'd never do that to them..

 

Should i just keep quiet sbout this?

Oooch, this calls for some wisdom from above. I’d just keep this before God, and wait on a clear direction from Him. For without His guidance this could open up a whole can of worms. 

Best wishes, He may be using this in your life to force you further and closer to Him, you never know???

Blessings and prayers, 

Much love in Christ, Not me  

  • Thumbs Up 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, Not me said:

Oooch, this calls for some wisdom from above. I’d just keep this before God, and wait on a clear direction from Him. For without His guidance this could open up a whole can of worms. 

Best wishes, He may be using this in your life to force you further and closer to Him, you never know???

Blessings and prayers, 

Much love in Christ, Not me  

As much as i want to scream. I think its best i stay quiet and in prayer

  • Thumbs Up 3
  • Loved it! 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

its totally ok to set boundaries.  especially with children involved, its important.  i recommend being careful with your words and make sure your words are in love if you get a green light.  situations like this can split families if handled wrong and people can be mad at each other for years and years.  maybe longer. 

my concern would be for the child first. 

  • Thumbs Up 2
  • Loved it! 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

If you feel led of the Lord to say anything, do so gently.  Perhaps you could mention something like you need your rest so maybe they could leave a little earlier.   Just a thought....you will know what is best.

  • Loved it! 1
  • Brilliant! 1
  • Praise God! 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)
5 hours ago, Debp said:

If you feel led of the Lord to say anything, do so gently.  Perhaps you could mention something like you need your rest so maybe they could leave a little earlier.   Just a thought....you will know what is best.

Thing is we have talked about this to my aunt, those are her grandkids, and not much has been resolved. 

As much as it's burning inside me to speak... I think its best not to because 1) its not my place and 2) thinking about it makes me so angry i literally want to scream at the kids, aunt and my brother for allowing it. So I'm not in the right mindset to to confront because everything will come out wrong.

Edited by Figure of eighty
  • Brilliant! 1
  • Praying for You! 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 hours ago, Cletus said:

its totally ok to set boundaries.  especially with children involved, its important.  i recommend being careful with your words and make sure your words are in love if you get a green light.  situations like this can split families if handled wrong and people can be mad at each other for years and years.  maybe longer. 

my concern would be for the child first. 

Yeah. I can see them coming around and bothering my baby while he tries to sleep or something. 

  • Brilliant! 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
10 hours ago, BeauJangles said:

Bless you, dear heart. That's extremely noble of you, but I'd still not want my kin folks parked on my porch when I got home from work. Calling out orders for food on top of that, crosses all boundaries of decency. Just my thoughts on the situation. I really feel for you, and you are gonna have a baby after all.  

If this was soley my place. Theyd be reduced to comin over 1 hour a day once a week. But ita not my place...and i dont like it. It just rubs me the wrong way bc i dont drop my little brother off at my aunts places at 10 or 11p. He doesnt raid her refridgerator or tell people over their to cook for him. He'd get cussed out.. So it simply wouldn't happen. 

I just hate there's no respect being reciprocated. 

  • Praying for You! 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Do what you need to do to protect you and yours (child)... other than that, not much you can do on behalf of others. If your brother hasn’t yet grown the strength to stand up for himself, you can’t handle things for him. You reached the point in your own life when you were tired of it. One day he will also. Let him learn his lessons and build up the courage to push back. Of course nothing changes when you speak up because they know your brother will tolerate it when you’re not around.

Protect yourself, love them from a distance, and be there for your brother when he starts to get tired of it. 

  • Brilliant! 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...