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Figure of eighty

As a christian...would God be mad if...

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LovetheLord, I hate to ask this, but some of us older folks (me for instance) have a hard time reading such tiny print. Would you please keep it to the same size as the default font?

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1 hour ago, Figure of eighty said:

Youre right. I don't want to give him away and I won't because I couldn't part with him. I look forward to when he gets here-- but I just hate I don't have much resources for my baby. Also I hate where I live I'm sleeping on my brother's one bed that me and my mom share and its a 1 bedroom--idk I just want to work as soon as I can so I can get a place for me and my baby because a home to call ours where no one elses kids come in and they eat our groceries.. just annoying. Sorry for ranting.. I just wish there was a way out

Okay, now that I know this detail (child not born), before I became a teacher, I was a lawyer, so,I’m also going to give you some perspective from a lawyer’s point of view. 

 The greatest joy and fulfillment I had being a lawyer were the times clients came to me wanting to adopt a child.  I was able to assist many families adopt biracial babies from California through this agency I worked with. In addition, I was able to assist some families adopt locally without having to reach out to California. 

In every case, the joy of the adopting parents, who were unable to have children of their own, was something to behold. For years many of them would drop me a line with a photo and show me the result of my work through the courts.  Very satisfying for all parties involved. I can’t speak for the gals who gave up their child, but I’m sure many of them did it for the same reasons you are contemplating....the welfare of the child and to give the baby what they perceive to be a better chance to succeed in life.  They really were not prepared for this responsibility.  In addition, my BEST FRIENDS, were unable to conceive and adopted and to see the joy that baby has brought them these past 30 years.....just priceless.  Adoption is a good thing and often the best course for all parties. If there were no adoptions, do you think God just doesn’t want these desperate couples to just be just.....childless for life? 

So let’s look at this through all perspectives:

adopting family......totally grateful ( it’s not their fault they can’t have their own). So enthusiastic to be parents. Both prepared and hopeful to be able to be parents. 

biological mom....selfless by not aborting the baby and by also putting baby’s need first, especially believing she is not able to meet this need on her own ....and that honestly, this was not planned properly.  Someday down the road, you may be in a better position to be a responsible parent and will be given this opportunity that you will be much better prepared for. 

baby.....to be in a home where there is stability and love and yes, financial freedom is a good thing. This baby will only know he is loved ......

There is a lot to think about sweetie, but I applaud you for putting the baby’s needs first, and not your own.  I also am praying that you seek out other people who possess specific wisdom for these matters like people who Ayin jade  mentioned (Crisis Pregnancy Center), and that God would give you wisdom to think this all out and to have His peace no matter what you decide. 

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13 minutes ago, lovethelord said:

Figure of Eight,

I just feel i have to give you a gentle nudge in your thinking. I'll make this simple:

1.  God is giving this child to you (this baby is your blessing from God). He is given to YOU.

2.  Financial stability and maybe having two parents might be ideal, but God selected you as this baby's mommy (God always knows what is best)

3.  The love that you have and will have for your baby cannot compare with anyone else's love for your baby.

4.  Remember, pregnancy hormones!  The stress you feel over your finances is definitely impacted by your hormones.

5.  God is in control. Trust the Lord. Stay faithful. All will work out in his best timing for you.

  • Psalm 94:19, "When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul."
  • 2 Samuel 22;31-33, "As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord's word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God?  It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure." 

Here jade, I copied the post for you in larger print

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1 hour ago, Figure of eighty said:

It just crosses my mind at times because I feel I cant do this.

This has been a long and rough road, from the beginning to the present. All of us have been rooting for the best possible outcome, and are trusting in the Lord for it. God bless you, @Figure of eighty:amen: 

Shalom,

David/BeauJangles

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56 minutes ago, lovethelord said:

Figure of Eight,

I just feel i have to give you a gentle nudge in your thinking. I'll make this simple:

1.  God is giving this child to you (this baby is your blessing from God). He is given to YOU.

2.  Financial stability and maybe having two parents might be ideal, but God selected you as this baby's mommy (God always knows what is best)

3.  The love that you have and will have for your baby cannot compare with anyone else's love for your baby.

4.  Remember, pregnancy hormones!  The stress you feel over your finances is definitely impacted by your hormones.

5.  God is in control. Trust the Lord. Stay faithful. All will work out in his best timing for you.

  • Psalm 94:19, "When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul."
  • 2 Samuel 22;31-33, "As for God, his way is perfect: The Lord's word is flawless; he shields all who take refuge in him. For who is God besides the Lord? And who is the Rock except our God?  It is God who arms me with strength and keeps my way secure." 

Yeah this is very true. I love my baby a lot.  I just went through some bags of diapers we have for him and I just kinda held them opened and smiled bc I can't wait to use them.

But yeah God knows what is best, It will be excruciatingly hard but this baby is for me. 

Thanks for bringing me back to reality.

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48 minutes ago, Spock said:

Okay, now that I know this detail (child not born), before I became a teacher, I was a lawyer, so,I’m also going to give you some perspective from a lawyer’s point of view. 

 The greatest joy and fulfillment I had being a lawyer were the times clients came to me wanting to adopt a child.  I was able to assist many families adopt biracial babies from California through this agency I worked with. In addition, I was able to assist some families adopt locally without having to reach out to California. 

In every case, the joy of the adopting parents, who were unable to have children of their own, was something to behold. For years many of them would drop me a line with a photo and show me the result of my work through the courts.  Very satisfying for all parties involved. I can’t speak for the gals who gave up their child, but I’m sure many of them did it for the same reasons you are contemplating....the welfare of the child and to give the baby what they perceive to be a better chance to succeed in life.  They really were not prepared for this responsibility.  In addition, my BEST FRIENDS, were unable to conceive and adopted and to see the joy that baby has brought them these past 30 years.....just priceless.  Adoption is a good thing and often the best course for all parties. If there were no adoptions, do you think God just doesn’t want these desperate couples to just be just.....childless for life? 

So let’s look at this through all perspectives:

adopting family......totally grateful ( it’s not their fault they can’t have their own). So enthusiastic to be parents. Both prepared and hopeful to be able to be parents. 

biological mom....selfless by not aborting the baby and by also putting baby’s need first, especially believing she is not able to meet this need on her own ....and that honestly, this was not planned properly.  Someday down the road, you may be in a better position to be a responsible parent and will be given this opportunity that you will be much better prepared for. 

baby.....to be in a home where there is stability and love and yes, financial freedom is a good thing. This baby will only know he is loved ......

There is a lot to think about sweetie, but I applaud you for putting the baby’s needs first, and not your own.  I also am praying that you seek out other people who possess specific wisdom for these matters like who Aylin jade  mentioned, and that God would give you wisdom to think this all out and to have His peace no matter what you decide. 

I know in my heart I'd never have another chance to have a child again. This baby was , well he came suddenly. Ive had horrid luck with men and honestly, children weren't even in my plan-- so I know if I gave him away I'd never have another chance. Guys don't see me as anything other than a good friend..or a good time.. I'm starting to accept that I'm probably most definitely called to singleness bc despite trying to find a nice decent guy it just doesn't work out. I'm getting older and I don't believe I'll be married. Besides that, even though this pregnancy wasn't a hassle I'm not doing this again, when I can afford to I may have my tubes tied or something because one is enough for me. 

However, I love my child-- I feel like he'll be the only thing I have that's worth something if that makes sense. 

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It would probably be prudent to talk to someone who could give you good legal advice valid for your state with regard to the father's rights and obligations.  Such things vary state to state in the US.   Child support, visitation rights, custody, adoption procedures, etc. can be tricky legal things and you need to get information accurate for your state.  There may be future legal ramifications depending on whether birth certificates carry one or two names as well as what legal obligation you have to disclose the father's name. Simply not telling the father may or may not change various legal things. For example, if your son's father and his family find out about your son, they might have legal rights for visitation or potentially custody.  I don't know if adoption would require the father's legal approval as well.   A pastor or Christian counselor might be able to point you to some free legal services that would give guidance on these things.   In addition, there's the consideration that years down the line that your son might want to meet and consider having a relationship with his biological father.  It might be worth considering what type of impact having to say "your biological father does not know you even exist" will have on a boy or a young man.

In my opinion, one of the most important considerations for raising a boy into a man is the presence of solid consistent men in his life.  This is something few people ever really talk about in this day and age.  The men he sees the most of are going to affect how he views becoming a man.   If he sees a family where men do not have a serious role, he'll learn that men don't have a serious role to play in a family.  It's what a boy sees in his father, his grandfathers, his uncles, and their circle of friends that will play a huge role in what he sees masculinity and manhood to be about.   My anecdotal observations are the sons of single mothers do a lot better when they have a close relative such as a grandfather or uncle who takes them under their wing and models how to be a man for them.  This also matches most of the studies I've read on delinquency and gang involvement.  This is something that no amount of money or government programs or loving mothers, grandmothers, and aunts can be an adequate substitute for.  I know that this is not a popular opinion nowadays but I stand by it.

I've known Christians who were adopted into Christian families when they were infants or children for various reasons.  Some started off as foster children (who were removed from parents or family for various reasons) and were later adopted.     A few were orphans.  Some of these situations started off as teen pregnancies or single parents.   Some knew their birth parents and kept in contact and others did not.  The usual attitude I heard was that they were thankful for having been adopted and raised by a Christian family.    I'm not sure how such things work, but there are Christian adoption services that work to pair an infant or child with a Christian family looking to adopt a child.  Here's a link to one agency (https://www.christianadopt.org) to give an idea of what services such agencies offer.  I am NOT endorsing this particular one but pointing it out as an example of the types of services various agencies and ministries might offer.

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Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

Would he be mad if i decided to give my son away? 

I know deep down i wouldn't bc i love him so much ...but i just hate i dont have any money. Even though im pursuing higher education I don't have anyone to watch him that wont charge a grip. 

 

I just dont want my child to suffer through poverty. I want him to know what financial stability looks like..i dont want him to suffer at all. Then i think ...he'd have 2 parents instead of one.

 

It just crosses my mind at times because I feel I cant do this.

Give this to God with a lot of prayer.

Question: "What does the Bible say about adoption?"

Answer: 
Giving children up for adoption can be a loving alternative for parents who may, for various reasons, be unable to care for their own children. It can also be an answer to prayer for many couples who have not been able to have children of their own. Adoption is, for some, a calling to multiply their impact as parents by expanding their family with children who are not their own, biologically. Adoption is spoken of favorably throughout Scripture.

The book of Exodus tells the story of a Hebrew woman named Jochebed who bore a son during a time when Pharaoh had ordered all Hebrew male infants to be put to death (Exodus 1:15-22). Jochebed took a basket, waterproofed it, and placed the baby in the river in the basket among the reeds. One of Pharaoh’s daughters spotted the basket and retrieved the child. She eventually adopted him into the royal family and gave him the name Moses. He went on to become a faithful and blessed servant of God (Exodus 2:1-10).

In the book of Esther, a beautiful girl named Esther, who was adopted by her cousin after her parents' death, became a queen, and God used her to bring deliverance to the Jewish people. In the New Testament, Jesus Christ was conceived through the Holy Spirit instead of through the seed of a man (Matthew 1:18). He was “adopted” and raised by His mother's husband, Joseph, who took Jesus as his own child.

Once we give our hearts to Christ, believing and trusting in Him alone for salvation, God says we become part of His family—not through the natural process of human conception, but through adoption. “For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship [adoption]. And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father’” (Romans 8:15). Similarly, bringing a person into a family by means of adoption is done by choice and out of love. “His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into His own family by bringing us to Himself through Jesus Christ. And this gave Him great pleasure” (Ephesians 1:5). As God adopts those who receive Christ as Savior into His spiritual family, so should we all prayerfully consider adopting children into our own physical families.

Clearly adoption—both in the physical sense and in the spiritual sense—is shown in a favorable light in Scripture. Both those who adopt and those who are adopted are receiving a tremendous blessing, a privilege exemplified by our adoption into God’s family.

/www.gotquestions.org/adoption.html

Edited by missmuffet
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1 minute ago, GandalfTheWise said:

It would probably be prudent to talk to someone who could give you good legal advice valid for your state with regard to the father's rights and obligations.  Such things vary state to state in the US.   Child support, visitation rights, custody, adoption procedures, etc. can be tricky legal things and you need to get information accurate for your state.  There may be future legal ramifications depending on whether birth certificates carry one or two names as well as what legal obligation you have to disclose the father's name. Simply not telling the father may or may not change various legal things. For example, if your son's father and his family find out about your son, they might have legal rights for visitation or potentially custody.  I don't know if adoption would require the father's legal approval as well.   A pastor or Christian counselor might be able to point you to some free legal services that would give guidance on these things.   In addition, there's the consideration that years down the line that your son might want to meet and consider having a relationship with his biological father.  It might be worth considering what type of impact having to say "your biological father does not know you even exist" will have on a boy or a young man.

In my opinion, one of the most important considerations for raising a boy into a man is the presence of solid consistent men in his life.  This is something few people ever really talk about in this day and age.  The men he sees the most of are going to affect how he views becoming a man.   If he sees a family where men do not have a serious role, he'll learn that men don't have a serious role to play in a family.  It's what a boy sees in his father, his grandfathers, his uncles, and their circle of friends that will play a huge role in what he sees masculinity and manhood to be about.   My anecdotal observations are the sons of single mothers do a lot better when they have a close relative such as a grandfather or uncle who takes them under their wing and models how to be a man for them.  This also matches most of the studies I've read on delinquency and gang involvement.  This is something that no amount of money or government programs or loving mothers, grandmothers, and aunts can be an adequate substitute for.  I know that this is not a popular opinion nowadays but I stand by it.

I've known Christians who were adopted into Christian families when they were infants or children for various reasons.  Some started off as foster children (who were removed from parents or family for various reasons) and were later adopted.     A few were orphans.  Some of these situations started off as teen pregnancies or single parents.   Some knew their birth parents and kept in contact and others did not.  The usual attitude I heard was that they were thankful for having been adopted and raised by a Christian family.    I'm not sure how such things work, but there are Christian adoption services that work to pair an infant or child with a Christian family looking to adopt a child.  Here's a link to one agency (https://www.christianadopt.org) to give an idea of what services such agencies offer.  I am NOT endorsing this particular one but pointing it out as an example of the types of services various agencies and ministries might offer.

 

I think I'm just going to keep him. I couldn't imagine my life without him--  I have my mom and dad for support financially and ill be out of my program ... I can do it it'll just be hard.

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**** Also side note: kids are back over my mom brought groceries, I'm kinda in the middle of cooking dinner and the kids complained about how hungry they were and

prior they ate ice cream sandwhiches(our ice cream sandwhiches) and I asked my mom earlier and she said don't give them dinner. I asked if they had food at their house they said yes..but I feel wrong teling them to go home to eat but I know for a complete fact this could never happen the other way around. I feel so disrespected.

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