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Afraid of losing salvation


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Greetings...it's embarrassing to talk about this, but I think I need to talk about this...

Intrusive thoughts of a unbelieving nature that claim things such as"God doesn't exists" have been tormenting me for a while and I feel guilty when they pop up, even when I hate these thoughts and I don't want they appear.

Almost always, when I have a feeling that they'll appear, I start to frighten due to this feeling, and sometimes when that happens I try to do something to avoid them (such as think about God's grace and try to be calm), but this doesn't always work.

The worst thing is that sometimes, after they appear (especially the one that claims "God doesn't exists"), I feel like I had believed what they claimed (or like I had thought them deliberately) and them I feel distressed due to that feeling, and when that happens I pray to God the "prayer about salvation" (the one in which you accept Jesus as your only Lord and Savior with genuine repetance for the sins you had committed and with genuine faith that He's God and He died and arose from the dead because you can't save yourself with works) because if that feeling wasn't a false alarm and I believe stupid things such as "God doesn't exists", I fall from salvation, because I can't be saved without faith...so I pray that after that happens, just in case...and after I pray that, I exanimate to ascertain whether I am a true Christian or not with questions such as "Do I believe God exists"? And I come to the conclusion that yes, that I believe the God of the Bible exists, that Jesus is God and He died in the cross and arose from the dead...and then I'm confident that I'm saved until these thoughts appear again and I feel like I had believed them or had thought them deliberately... I even had already found theological/philosophical, logical and scientific evidencs in favor of Christianity, which helped my faith to grow, and I even had thought about studying theology and to be an apologist.

Honestly, I'm scared to die as a unbeliever and to God to hell...I DON'T want that to happen...I love Jesus and I don't want to leave Him. I don't want to be an unbeliever.

Maybe I have religious OCD; maybe I had never fallen from salvation and that feeling is justo a false alarm and I believed that I had fallen from salvation by fear and paranoia; or maybe not matter what God would do I'll go to hell, because If a Christian can deliberately loose they salvation (because God allows humans have free will), them I'm probably doomed. Honestly, I'm confused, and afraid...

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1 hour ago, Sonshine☀️ said:

Oh, Blossum; it’s just Satan putting these thoughts in your head.  Don’t believe him.  Tell him to leave in the name of Jesus.  …even if you have to tell him over and over.  You know he’s a liar; tell him so, and don’t let him steal the dreams and plans that God has for you.  

9920267D-AC4A-407D-92F0-9B7BA2EAE370.gif.577612c76a8fc91b8db09f931ffdc9e2.gifKeep shining!

Hi, I have been doing that, but thanks for the advise anyway. And besides, your words encouraged me to not give up. God bless you.

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51 minutes ago, lovethelord said:

Colorfulbloosoming,

Since you believe that Jesus is exists, you need to also "Trust" Him fully to bless, heal, protect and love you at all times and anywhere.  

In other areas of your life, do you feel you show OCD tendencies? Do you have obsessive thinking in other areas of your life or just regarding thoughts of God and your salvation?  Also, ask yourself if you are under more stress than usual, sometimes that can trigger negative thinking and thoughts. If not, you can possibly be under attack by demonic spirits. The Bible tells us that Satan and his demons are real and work to destroy God’s children using whatever means necessary. They can’t possess us because we are already indwelled by God’s Holy Spirit but they will try to attack your mind with thoughts of doubt regarding your salvation. They will do anything to hinder your walk with our Lord. Next time, you get those “bad” thoughts coming in, stop and pray to Lord to cleanse your mind. Pray for protection over your mind.  God does not want you confused, doubting and not walking by faith. The following are great verse that may help you.  I will certainly pray for your as well.

  • Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy-medicate on these things.”
  • Ephesians 6:10, “A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil.   For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.”

I try to trust Him, but these thoughts discourage me :/ but I still haven't given up faith and hope.

Before I became a born again Christian, I had obsessive thoughts of another nature, but after I became a Christian those particular thoughts dissapeared, and then I started to have those tormenting thoughts of a unbelieving nature. So that's why I suspect I might have OCD (I haven't visited a psycologist yet to know if have OCD or not).

They appear at any time, but the chances they appear increase when I'm stressed/anxious, happy or I feel energetic. 

Thanks for the uplifting words and for praying for me. God bless you.

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4 hours ago, BeauJangles said:

I only wish there was a way to convince you that this just isn't going to happen. Hang in there, Jesus isn't willing to give up on you all that easily. Take heart dear one, I'm praying for you.  

John 6:37  All that the Father giveth me shall me shall come unto me; and him that cometh unto me in no wise shall I cast out.  KJV 

Thanks for praying for me and for the uplifting words.

Also, does the passage Romans 8:38-39 applies to free will too? I mean, is my free not able to separate me from God?

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31 minutes ago, ColorfulBlossoming said:

Thanks for praying for me and for the uplifting words.

Also, does the passage Romans 8:38-39 applies to free will too? I mean, is my free not able to separate me from God?

I look at it this way. You can run, but you can't hide. Not forever anyway. 

John 10:27  My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.  KJV

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9 hours ago, ColorfulBlossoming said:

Greetings...it's embarrassing to talk about this, but I think I need to talk about this...

Intrusive thoughts of a unbelieving nature that claim things such as"God doesn't exists" have been tormenting me for a while and I feel guilty when they pop up, even when I hate these thoughts and I don't want they appear.

Almost always, when I have a feeling that they'll appear, I start to frighten due to this feeling, and sometimes when that happens I try to do something to avoid them (such as think about God's grace and try to be calm), but this doesn't always work.

The worst thing is that sometimes, after they appear (especially the one that claims "God doesn't exists"), I feel like I had believed what they claimed (or like I had thought them deliberately) and them I feel distressed due to that feeling, and when that happens I pray to God the "prayer about salvation" (the one in which you accept Jesus as your only Lord and Savior with genuine repetance for the sins you had committed and with genuine faith that He's God and He died and arose from the dead because you can't save yourself with works) because if that feeling wasn't a false alarm and I believe stupid things such as "God doesn't exists", I fall from salvation, because I can't be saved without faith...so I pray that after that happens, just in case...and after I pray that, I exanimate to ascertain whether I am a true Christian or not with questions such as "Do I believe God exists"? And I come to the conclusion that yes, that I believe the God of the Bible exists, that Jesus is God and He died in the cross and arose from the dead...and then I'm confident that I'm saved until these thoughts appear again and I feel like I had believed them or had thought them deliberately... I even had already found theological/philosophical, logical and scientific evidencs in favor of Christianity, which helped my faith to grow, and I even had thought about studying theology and to be an apologist.

Honestly, I'm scared to die as a unbeliever and to God to hell...I DON'T want that to happen...I love Jesus and I don't want to leave Him. I don't want to be an unbeliever.

Maybe I have religious OCD; maybe I had never fallen from salvation and that feeling is justo a false alarm and I believed that I had fallen from salvation by fear and paranoia; or maybe not matter what God would do I'll go to hell, because If a Christian can deliberately loose they salvation (because God allows humans have free will), them I'm probably doomed. Honestly, I'm confused, and afraid...

Don't believe Satan's lies. He is working hard now on believers. Sometimes Satan whispers those things in our ears. You know you are saved. Just stay focused on God and pray to Him and ask Him to protect you from the evil one. It sounds like you are dealing with a fair amount of anxiety. Do you think that is the case?

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Shalom @ColorfulBlossoming

17 hours ago, ColorfulBlossoming said:

I even had already found theological/philosophical, logical and scientific evidencs in favor of Christianity, which helped my faith to grow, and I even had thought about studying theology and to be an apologist.

Interesting,  you may be facing such challenges to really test your faith, if you are destined to be an apologist... 

17 hours ago, ColorfulBlossoming said:

I feel distressed due to that feeling, and when that happens I pray to God the "prayer about salvation"

I would stop doing this.  Have faith, my friend.  If you have prayed it once and meant it, there's no need to do it again.  My advice is to stop doing this as you will get you into a pattern of thinking you are losing salvation or even "earning" back by praying again.  Don't concede to the temptation to do so.  Stand strong with faith in the goodness of Yahweh.

17 hours ago, ColorfulBlossoming said:

Honestly, I'm scared to die as a unbeliever and to God to hell...I DON'T want that to happen...I love Jesus and I don't want to leave Him. I don't want to be an unbeliever.

This sentence shows a lot of confusion my friend.  You clearly believe in God and and love the Lord Jesus.  That technically makes you a believer.

 

I personally don't think you are being attacked by the devil.  I think he has bigger fish to fry at this time.  But your faith is suffering and it could be as a result of spiritual warfare or even directly from Yahweh.  The good news is, in both cases, the fear and confusion will go the more your read and study His Word - which will give you similar situations, remind you of His promises, put discipleship into perspective and build your faith.  Not just the New Testament, but the Old Testament as well.  For the New makes less sense without the Old.

Have faith my friend, have faith!  This is a big challenge for you which may even get worse before it gets better but it will get better if you hold strong to your faith and do not doubt.  As I said, this might be a training camp in preparation of your ministry as an apologist (in which your faith will be challenged regularly).  Therefore, take courage and show Yahweh how much you love Him by having faith in His promises through the Lord Jesus.

Recommended reading plan:

Luke, John, Acts, Romans, Ephesians, 1 Peter, Revelation, Genesis, Exodus, Deuteronomy, Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1 & 2 Samuel, 1 & 2 Kings, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Ezra, Nehemiah, Zechariah and Matthew.  Then go through again but read every book with a guide to help you.  Let me know if you need links to resources for this. 

Love & Shalom

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