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Work or wait?


Figure of eighty

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34 minutes ago, Justin Adams said:

Ahh. My mom was forced by the state to give me up and I have not really recovered.

You look after baby and God will look after you. Well done for that decision!!

Oh no. Im so sorry. But thanks. I intend to keep my baby.... I love him so much my life would be empty without him. I have his 9 wk ultrasound framed and i would be a complete mess if I couldnt bring him home.

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5 minutes ago, GandalfTheWise said:

To clarify, my wife was mostly doing interior house painting.  She did a few murals and the like and was good at faux finishes and decorative work.  However, most of the jobs were single color on the walls and ceiling with a bit of trim type of jobs. 

Oh i see. She worked with her hands. Very nice.

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4 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

With a newbotn i just go back and forth if i should work after a month or just stay home with baby and care for him since daycare is expensive.

Its just me..my mom n dad both work, only choice is grandma but 200 a wk is a lot. 

With staying at home.. Id love to do this but im afraid just beimg im the house with baby would bring on ppd..

 

I really dont know. Its a struggle being a single parent.

 

I'm sorry I do not mean to be nosy.  But where is the father? You don't have to answer. As it is none of my business. But you should know he needs to  take some financial responsibility here.  There are people you can talk to about that.  Again sorry if I seem nosy. But just looking for away to help you. 

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1 hour ago, Figure of eighty said:

Totally different how? 

I only mean totally different because sometimes sudden circumstances and opportunities show up when you aren't expecting.  Just saying.

It sounds like you have a good idea about your finances.  That's saying alot when being a single mom can certainly be overwhelming, I'm sure.

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4 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

With a newbotn i just go back and forth if i should work after a month or just stay home with baby and care for him since daycare is expensive.

Its just me..my mom n dad both work, only choice is grandma but 200 a wk is a lot. 

With staying at home.. Id love to do this but im afraid just beimg im the house with baby would bring on ppd..

 

I really dont know. Its a struggle being a single parent.

 

I can’t imagine being a single parent. I went through PPD with my first and it was very, very difficult. She was a colicky baby and did not sleep at all the first year. Not sure how any of us survived.

I know some women who have gone back to work after three months of being at home with baby and it improved their emotional health. I couldn’t imagine going back after only a month. I think a baby needs it’s mother at that young of an age. But a grandmother is the next best thing. Do what is the best for your emotional health so you can properly care for the baby. 

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4 hours ago, Figure of eighty said:

With a newbotn i just go back and forth if i should work after a month or just stay home with baby and care for him since daycare is expensive.

Its just me..my mom n dad both work, only choice is grandma but 200 a wk is a lot. 

With staying at home.. Id love to do this but im afraid just beimg im the house with baby would bring on ppd..

 

I really dont know. Its a struggle being a single parent.

 

I'm confused. If you have a baby and you are the only parent, working is the only option - or giving it up for adoption. Welfare (or its equivalent) is suicide for you and your baby. You may not physically die, but in the end, your fate may be worse. There are quite a few women who took that option in the area where I live. They are ALL miserable souls and many are on drugs. In fact, my wife became a big sister to one. A little over a year later her mom died of a drug overdose. 

Single motherhood is poison to both the mother and the child unless you can earn a decent income to support your child. BTW, my wife was widowed at age 27 with three kids under the age of 8, no life insurance and a mortgage. She took welfare for two months after her husband died. It helped her get caught up. That was almost 40 years ago. She called herself a "tough old bird" that was able to remove that quality from herself when we were married 21 years ago. 

And it was hard for her - one day at a time.  But now all three kids are doing great and we have four grand-kids who are also doing great.

Bottom line - you need to get back to work pronto. 

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1 hour ago, Still Alive said:

I'm confused. If you have a baby and you are the only parent, working is the only option - or giving it up for adoption. Welfare (or its equivalent) is suicide for you and your baby. You may not physically die, but in the end, your fate may be worse. There are quite a few women who took that option in the area where I live. They are ALL miserable souls and many are on drugs. In fact, my wife became a big sister to one. A little over a year later her mom died of a drug overdose. 

Single motherhood is poison to both the mother and the child unless you can earn a decent income to support your child. BTW, my wife was widowed at age 27 with three kids under the age of 8, no life insurance and a mortgage. She took welfare for two months after her husband died. It helped her get caught up. That was almost 40 years ago. She called herself a "tough old bird" that was able to remove that quality from herself when we were married 21 years ago. 

And it was hard for her - one day at a time.  But now all three kids are doing great and we have four grand-kids who are also doing great.

Bottom line - you need to get back to work pronto. 

Trust me i want to work asap but there are a few things that make it a bit difficult. 

One being a baby sitter for my kid, id need to make atleast 15 to pay my grandma.. 

Second, i have a younger brother in school and I pick him up and drop him off, help with homework ect ... And he cant catch the school bus bc it doesnt come in our area. 

 

I want to work but its alot to consider. 

 

Also issue of potential ppd which i pray I dont get.

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1 hour ago, LadyKay said:

I'm sorry I do not mean to be nosy.  But where is the father? You don't have to answer. As it is none of my business. But you should know he needs to  take some financial responsibility here.  There are people you can talk to about that.  Again sorry if I seem nosy. But just looking for away to help you. 

its totally fine. However Id like to PM you about it as it is pretty personal. However youre better than my extended family that pryed to get the information about him then spread it around the family...people i dont even see or hear from. 

 

So thanks for that bit of repect <3 

 

But thw reply will be a minute because I just dropped my dad off and picked up my brother and im about to go grocery shopping.

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1 minute ago, Figure of eighty said:

Also issue of potential ppd which i pray I dont get.

nah...uh-uh... not having it :)    Dear one you got a full and fulfilling life ahead  of you.   He's in the business  of REDEEMING mistakes and that life you now carry is NOT a mistake.  He'll be faithful to reveal to you exactly what He  has planned for that precious human being and empower you to train him up with KNOWLEDGE of that plan, and how to do your part to deliver him into that plan.  

We may not know all the answers to how  to balance work  and nurturing that life now delivered  into your care, but rest assured He knows, and when you need to know He'll surely let you in  on His will and plan too.

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3 minutes ago, Figure of eighty said:

its totally fine. However Id like to PM you about it as it is pretty personal. However youre better than my extended family that pryed to get the information about him then spread it around the family...people i dont even see or hear from. 

 

So thanks for that bit of repect <3 

 

But thw reply will be a minute because I just dropped my dad off and picked up my brother and im about to go grocery shopping.

Feel free to p/m me anytime you like.    :)

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