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do you feel (know) you were the victim of child abuse


createdequal

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On 8/21/2019 at 10:04 PM, createdequal said:

I am just wondering the % of people who think/feel/know they were abused as children?

Abuse is a subjective term a lot of the time. But I speak of objective abuse: being slapped hard, being denied necessary food/water as punishment, etc.

I ask because whatever happens to us in childhood affects who we are at our core.. and affects us the rest of our lives.. shapes our destiny in so many ways

I was not abused myself but I am a social worker (not currently practicing). I have worked with abused and neglected  kids and I have even been involved in a few removals. I will share more about this later. 

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23 minutes ago, Abby-Joy said:
It may not be where we are, but we can show patience for where they are in their healing process.  
Much love to you!:emot-heartbeat:

I agree❤️

 

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As I see it, the value of a thread like this, could be to create a space where people can express what they have been through, sharing breakthroughs, and where we can pray for those who need it. This could provide hope and some listening ears which might be helpful.  Each person's trauma and process of working through that is different. This is the kind of thread that could either be very positive or could lead to accusations and personal attacks. So I plead with everyone to be very careful of the words we choose to use. Let mercy and compassion be your guide. 

A few years ago I was working with trial awaiting children who had been taken from their parents and placed in a temporary facility. It was very rewarding at times and depressing the next. Not all these children were abused; some were neglected or from such impoverished situations that the parents simply couldn't look after them.  From the outside, many of these kids might have looked like ordinary kids. But then something would trigger them and then everything would fall apart. Some develop attachment issues, others fear authority figures for the rest of their lives . Some of these kids are amazing in how they deal with their past. Needless to say, without Jesus, it is impossible. But God is so faithful. He can restore the way no one else can. This is a sad business, no question about it, but I am so glad that in some small way I can contribute to the healing of someone who has been hurt this way. 

If you have suffered abuse and you need someone to talk to or just someone to pray with you, please let me know. I like to help in anyway I can. 

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frankly i dont know. is there such a thing of making too much of something but you misunderstood the intent? im just wondering. what if another person can generate their proof that the person cares about you so to them it overshadows what you thought they did?

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22 minutes ago, maryjayne said:

From the original post, I think clearly extreme behaviour is the subject.

perhaps we can expand... but can you guy by your feelings is what the topic of the post is still asking

i personally think being denied food or water is rare i think of a girl i learned about in a class and she was just locked away, no food and messed herself but just want to know but i should personally maybe start my own thread or bug off i guess..

Edited by preciouspearl
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2 minutes ago, maryjayne said:

Not sure why you feel unwelcome on this thread.

Yes, it relatively rare, but sadly not as rare as some think it is.

But it is abuse, and that is the subject we are discussing. I am.unaware of how, in an abusive situation, a person can generate proof that they cared for the child they are abusing.

I hope you keep talking about this so we can understand each other better.

i just dont want to take over and seem rude :). i didnt feel unwelcome i just dont want anyone uncomfortable

Edited by preciouspearl
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18 hours ago, Godismyloveforever said:

Permanent physical disabilities caused by child abuse is everlasting. Not only the impact of it as how it affects your life everlasting, but is a constant reminder of what happened to you in spite of doing all you can to put the abuse behind you.

 

Well sure! Yet there is victory over even the worst permanent pysical result if one can come to the point they do forgive. For then the permanent deformity, the physical as well asthe  emotional scars no longer define ones self.

Hard to do? Yes, but is that not what Jesus encourages in us? Is that not the incredible testimony of a church body at Charleston?

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55 minutes ago, Godismyloveforever said:

What is church body at Charleston

The members of the Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal (AME) Church,  at Charleston forgave the murderer  of nine of the attendees at their worship services ( 2015) even though he not only did not show any remorse , but also added his own arrogance and defiance at his trial.

They had the choice  of letting a killer define what their future will be, or doing as commanded to them by our Lord. They chose to  let our Lord handle the eternal consequence of the killer and not let the killer define their own eternal future. of course they hurt, hurt deeply, but they did not give in to evil and let it win that day,  or any day to come for them.

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Thank you, thank you MARYJANE :thumbsup:.

You not only speak for yourself, but for all of us here on the forum and those around the world who have suffered some form of abuse and still live with it, and sometimes receive further abuse HEAPED on us by those who have a simplistic view of dealing with the trauma we live with every day.

Were not looking for sympathy, but we are hoping for understanding and empathy for EVERYBODY abused, not just ourselves.

In your posts you have spoken eloquently and lovingly, but also emphaticly as to the plite of what has to be endured on our road to healing.

Bless you for staying with this topic and being committed to giving your input...WELL DONE :t2:.

Edited by Seasoned by Grace
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50 minutes ago, maryjayne said:

At a pace He decides.

His instruction though is not at a pace. My own  individual obedience to the freeing from restraining by the bounds  of awful memory may be, but the sooner I  stop hurting myself  over and over  by  giving continuing power to my trespassers through my reliving  yesterday's horror, the sooner I can more fully live today. Bad things happen, really awful things,  so vile that to see or hear of them makes the body physically ill, even putting it into shock. Plus yes many  bear physical injury and scars for evil's work  upon them. I understand that. What I believe though is that  at some point, at some point, at some point one has to decide not to let others evil define the day at hand.

 I for example cannot live today to the fullest while deciding I can't function because I was beaten as a child, was abused as a young child, was attacked, was rejected by a church member authority.  What I can do  is become freed from that by forgiving, real forgiveness even as I ask others to forgive me.

 

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