Having faith in difficult times

[Jubilea]

@worriedwife69, you might consider posting this in the prayer request thread. There are a number of prayer warriors who may never visit this thread.

[worriedwife69]

I tried posting in the prayer forum but I never saw my prayer there, but saw it under my profile. I'll try it again.

[Henry_iain]

Again, there is nothing wrong with the way you are handling this. It is all totally normal. Crying is not a sign of weakness and never has been. We have emotions. Give it all to Jesus. He has this situation well in hand, even if it doesn't seem like it. 

[ladypeartree]

Ok sooo you need to relax and that is the hardest thing in the world to do when you are worried . Practicalities and doing things can help  Unfortunately I don't live in the same country so a lot of what I would suggest wont be relative to you but here we have people such as Macmillan nurses who can help with the burden of everyday practicalities like making sure YOU get some time to relax and to be able to answer lots of " what happens next "  " what if " " how do I " " can I do " type of questions as not knowing can increase fear exponentially  which in turn leads to more anxiety  and more fear ( vicious circle ) Can you find out if there is a similar support group available where you are ?

Next God ALWAYS answers prayer but sometimes the answer is "No "  I prayed for both my sons, my father and my sister to remain with me but God knew it was time for them to go home so my answer had to be "No " ( I later found out that my sister had prayed for time to see her children grow up and she lived with cancer for over 30 years so God had said YES to her prayer but still knew when she needed to go home ) None of us will get out of this life alive so by accepting that God knows when our time here is up can give you a huge sense of relief although it sounds strange to say .  Last year I was told I had lung cancer ..a fearful diagnosis as I had watched several members of my family die from it and it is not an easy death As I went into hospital for surgery I told my children and anyone else that would be affected that I would not die a moment before God deemed it my time to go home nor would I live a moment past that time ( I totally believe that ) and it was a huge relief for most of them that they didn't have to worry that they were in some way letting me down by not praying " hard enough " or not believing strongly enough PRAYERS ARE REQUESTS NOT DEMANDS  and God has a better view and understanding of our needs and His plans than we can ever know till we get to see Him face to face .

Anxiety breeds fear and an atmosphere of worry and fear can be " felt " by most people so if you really want to help your husband REJOICE  Thank God for your time together , List everything that you are glad for and THANK GOD  Even the sun shinning or a bird singing can ease a heart if you look for the joy and thank God for it By bringing happiness and joy into your home even in the smallest of things you can create an atmosphere of hope and love and ease both of your sufferings .  In any hospital you can see the people who have visors that come with joy and laughter and silly stories can smile and relax at the end of a visiting period whilst those whose visitors come full  of tears , fears and solemn faces are tense and sad after visiting time  Laughter makes a great medicine , it may not be able to cure an illness but it can make life easier to live and ease the hearts of everyone around.

PRAYING and ASKING  God to help you overcome your fears and pain and if it is His will to bring about a miracle to let your husband live a healthier and happier life for his time on this earth and for you both to know His great and abiding love for you both        

[IloveyouGod.]

Dear Worriedwife.

I will be praying and asking God, to help you overcome your fears and pain, and for your husband.  

Isaiah 43:1-3 Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord you God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

 

God bless you and your husband.  

[marvelloustime]

Hi @worriedwife69 

You and your husband are in my prayers. I am so sorry you and your husband are going through this.

I am not surprised you are feeling like you are. Jesus is right there with you in your pain. He is the God of all comfort and Jesus sees your pain and your husband’s and He wants to comfort you.

Try listening to some praise music. There’s some good ones in the Christian music section here. I like to put headphones on and lie down and listen to Christian music as it takes me away from the world for a bit and into the presence of Jesus.

Reading the psalms is also a great one to help with fear and emotional pain.

I will also pray for your husband’s healing.

Thank you @mlbrokish for quoting worriedwife’s prayer request.

God bless,

Becky. X 

 

[turtletwo]

On 8/21/2019 at 9:39 PM, worriedwife69 said:

It is so hard to remain strong and supportive and encouraging when he is none of that

My heart and prayers go out to you. This situation you are in is difficult indeed. When we are around someone who is bitter and angry, it can drag us down too.

So taking care of ourselves by drawing nearer to the Lord will be the best thing we can do for the person we love. "In God's presence there is fullness of joy" (Psalm 16:11) "You will keep the mind that is dependent on You in perfect peace, for it is trusting in You. " (Isaiah 26:3)

Spending quiet time with the Lord as often as possible is the best refuge. This is the way to clear your head.  Prayer and meditating on scriptures that fit your situation are good. I have found writing down the verses that bring you the most calm is helpful.

Even repeating verses such as these throughout the course of the day...

“What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.” (Psalms 56:3)

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

(Romans 8:38-39)

I pray things will turn around for the better with your husband. Please keep us posted.

 

[frienduff thaylorde]

5 minutes ago, turtletwo said:

My heart and prayers go out to you. This situation you are in is difficult indeed. When we are around someone who is bitter and angry, it can drag us down too.

So taking care of ourselves by drawing nearer to the Lord will be the best thing we can do for the person we love. "In God's presence there is fullness of joy" (Psalm 16:11) "You will keep the mind that is dependent on You in perfect peace, for it is trusting in You. " (Isaiah 26:3)

Spending quiet time with the Lord as often as possible is the best refuge. This is the way to clear your head.  Prayer and meditating on scriptures that fit your situation are good. I have found writing down the verses that bring you the most calm is helpful.

Even repeating verses such as these throughout the course of the day...

“What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.” (Psalms 56:3)

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)

"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 39nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

(Romans 8:38-39)

I pray things will turn around for the better with your husband. Please keep us posted.

 

That's right dear sister .   That is RIGHT ON .   

[Heleadethme]

On 8/29/2019 at 6:58 PM, worriedwife69 said:

Thank you everyone. It is so hard to go through this when your spouse is not a believer, or maybe he is but is really struggling with believing why God would do this. He told me that he wants to believe in God but when he has prayed it has always ended up bad, a few of those times have been when his mother was ill then died, when his father was ill and died, his medical issues but they keep getting worse. He has simply lost faith. In my times of weakness because this is so hard, hearing him be so negative and saying he doesn't even want to be here anymore are difficult things to hear and I feel like he sees my weakness more than my trust in God.

Things I have done to remain positive,Lots of prayer, I have been in the word a lot, reading versus that mean a lot to me during this time. Outside of that talking with friends although a couple of them are not Christians but I do have a couple that are. I have family that are Christians but my husband does not like them knowing a lot about his issues because my mother tells the world the moment she finds out anything and my husband is a very private person. We have asked her not to only to find that she "slipped" and right now having them constantly bringing up God has been a touchy subject recently so it makes it difficult for me to talk with them. I keep praying and giving it to God but I can't seem to get rid of all of the anxiety feelings I have.

Bless you sister....haven't caught up with this whole thread yet and others might have already touched on this, but for my part I want to say.....please know that you are not responsible for your husband's feelings or well being.  As women we often tend to bear the emotional burdens for our families and may even feel responsible and vaguely at fault somehow when our loved ones are not feeling okay.....but it isn't your fault and you are not responsible for your husband's pain.  Our loved ones are God's responsibility,  and their response to their trials is their own....our job is mainly just a supportive one with the help of the Lord.

Also the fact that as burden bearers we help share the burden of their pain and negative emotions and in that way it helps our loved ones carry them...this is intercessory in nature....so some of the feelings we are feeling may not even really be ours.  As long as we then cast those burdens back on the Lord....crying on His shoulder in prayer.  We can just sort of acknowledge and accept that those emotions are there...but at the same time we do not have to live by those emotions regardless of whether they are good or bad....we can get to the place of thinking of those feelings as just being there in almost a kind of background way and something we might need to hunker down and just endure for a while......while the eyes of our heart are focused on Jesus, His word, and things above.   Our spirit can be at peace and trusting in the Lord even while our emotions are doing what emotions do.  The only way to get to that place that I know of is to be at the mercy of emotions long enough to die to them.  Know that you are in God's capable and surgically precise hands sister and keep seeking Him.

 

[Heleadethme]

On 9/29/2019 at 9:26 PM, worriedwife69 said:

Thank you I really appreciate everyone responding and with encouragement. Jubilea you are absolutely right, I know that when he sees my fear and anxiety he's not seeing Christ. If I cry with him or just have a crying episode does that make me look weak to him? Does that make it seem I'm not trusting God to my husband? I am trying so hard every day to give it to Him. Thanks everyone

I don't think so.....we are to weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice.  Carry each other's burdens.  Feelings and emotions do not have to mean we are not trusting in God in our heart.  Crying and weeping is often how we cast our burdens on the Lord as well...  We serve a good God who remembers that we are flesh.....and in all our afflictions He is afflicted.  You be encouraged and comforted in the Lord dear sister.