Waste of time?

[GandalfTheWise]

13 hours ago, Melinda12 said:

Is it a waste and utter futility to set store by human romantic love? When we fall in love and marry, set up a whole life together with the object of our affections. We thus depend on our spouse and vice versa. Yet that love is always headed only one way. To death. We must lose our loved one. No human can give us eternal life. In fact we cannot even guarantee to always love. Our feelings go up and down, wax and wane.  It is false security to think we can depend on our partner, family or any friend. We hurt one another, constantly let each other down.  The only sure One is our triune God. The only real comfort is in the Bible. The only conversations that bring real reassurance are our prayers and communion with our Lord.  I now set store by nobody. I be on good terms with all possible. But i do not expect any person to fulfill me. There is nobody. Only God. He is with me always. 

 

In Genesis, the first bad thing God sees is Adam being alone in spite of Adam walking with God.  He creates Eve as the crowning point of creation as a complementary partner.  Jesus refers to this exclusive one-flesh relationship as something God intended and that God did not intend for it to be broken.

In much of western culture, fewer and fewer people are able to see firsthand healthy thriving first marriages and families.  More and more children are only seeing split families and single parent households.   I'm seeing more and more glorification of single-motherhood as being a noble sacrificial thing that is empowering and good for kids rather than as an undesirable last resort in spite of reams of studies proving kids in such households are in more physical and emotional danger and at risk for future problems than kids in stable two parent homes.   More and more people have made it impossible for themselves and others to ever have an exclusive one-flesh relationship because of their choices and a culture that to a large degree encourages this as being a "healthy" thing.  This in spite of studies that clearly show that more and more relationships in one's life reduce the chance of a good marriage later.   It saddens me when I see this becoming a norm rather than an aberration.   Indeed, culturally speaking, marriage is starting to be denigrated as an oppressive terrible thing best avoided by enlightened people.   A few months ago, I ran across a YouTube recommended video with a title I thought was a joke and decided to watch it for humor.  This introduced me to a new world I'd never heard of called red-pill and MGTOW (men going their own way).  It's basically the male equivalent of the current wave of feminism.  I researched this more and frankly started to be shocked at the huge cultural shift that was happening under my nose for decades that I'd never really paid that much attention to.  Women are being told marriage is an oppressive part of the patriarchy that has suppressed women from achieving their full potential as human beings and men are being told only a desperate simp would legally sign on the dotted line to be married to a desperate woman who likely views him as a last resort and a bank account to draw on.  It sometimes seems no one is looking to people who have been married for 30, 40, or 50 or more years for marriage and relationship advice but rather to their peers who are frankly as clueless how to make a relationship work as they are.

How does a Christian deal with this?  I could quote a few Bible verses and throw out some trite answers, but there is no simple answer.  We're caught up in the cultural equivalent of a landslide or avalanche or tidal wave that is to a large extent carrying us along with it.  Fewer and fewer Christians are in a situation where they can start from scratch and do it right.  More and more Christians already have baggage they are dragging along with them.  A higher and higher percentage of children and adults have never experienced a healthy family or marriage.  I'll be blunt.  This is starting to affect what I hear Christians saying about marriage, family, and relationships.

Off the soapbox for now.  It's a gorgeous day.  My bride of a number of decades and the sole person I've ever had a relationship with wants to go spend the afternoon with me hiking on some rocks by a waterfall now that the water's lower for the season.  We might even sneak in a few non-public PDAs out in the breeze and under a tree.  There've been ups and downs and times we've slept on far sides of the bed or even on the couch and not talked much.  There've been times I've been so frustrated with her I couldn't sleep well.  But when I was in the ER with a severe panic attack thinking it might be a heart attack or something serious, there was no one else in the world I wanted at my side at that point in time.  Our lives have been better being partners and sharing the load of life together.

She picked a young naive but Christian man of solid character to spend her life with.  I did likewise (except swap man for woman in the sentence).  It took work and had it's share of frustrations and problems, but it's been worth it. 

[EDIT:  FYI for my generation PDA = kissing and smooching]

 

 

 

 

[unworthyservant]

9 hours ago, Melinda12 said:

The only sure One is our triune God

Melinda, while I agree wholeheartedly with the sentiment expressed in your post I must take umbrage to the idea of using the adjective triune to define God. While I do believe in God, the Father and believe that Christ is indeed the Son of God and that the Holy Ghost was sent of God, I strongly resist the notion that God can be described with human words. So why not just call Him God? When God described Himself to Moses he simply said, "I am that I am". I even question the idea of using masculine pronouns that seem to ascribe to God a human sex, but can't really think of an acceptable alternative, so simply use them for lack of options. The limitations of human thought and words will never explain God. So, all I'm saying is, Why can't we quit trying?

[Guest]

Well, we must disagree then. 

To me God is three persons. Father, Son and Holy Spirit. All as one glorious being. 

I know people have other views but this is my understanding. 

Edited August 23, 2019 by Melinda12

[missmuffet]

9 hours ago, Melinda12 said:

Is it a waste and utter futility to set store by human romantic love? When we fall in love and marry, set up a whole life together with the object of our affections. We thus depend on our spouse and vice versa. Yet that love is always headed only one way. To death. We must lose our loved one. No human can give us eternal life. In fact we cannot even guarantee to always love. Our feelings go up and down, wax and wane. 

It is false security to think we can depend on our partner, family or any friend. We hurt one another, constantly let each other down. 

The only sure One is our triune God. The only real comfort is in the Bible. The only conversations that bring real reassurance are our prayers and communion with our Lord. 

I now set store by nobody. I be on good terms with all possible. But i do not expect any person to fulfill me. There is nobody. Only God. He is with me always. 

 

It is important to go into a courtship and marriage with God being number one. Marriage is not easy. That stars in your eyes romantic love does not last forever. There will be difficult times. That glue that will keep your marriage together is God.