Sharing Online

[Noël]

Hello Worthy Family, 

Edit: I'm struggling with posting too much detail and that isn't safe to do online. I'm going to take some time away and I'll come back when I have a better plan of action and have it more clear in my mind what's acceptable and what's not. My life group prays through 35 prayers every evening from this forum, and we add new prayers daily. You are all in my heart and I hope to see you again soon. Love & Hugs! 

Edited September 6, 2019 by Noël
To erase my post with too much info and repost it.

[GandalfTheWise]

@Noël   I've got 3 daughters (now adults) and a few grandkids.  I'm going to give you the same speech I'd give them if they had just posted this.  To some degree, this is being overly cautious, but there is a reason to buckle your seatbelt whenever you are in a car and to not text while driving and to avoid walking alone in sketchy places in some cities.  These are minor precautions that reduce the chances of something bad happening.

The way to think of online sharing is like speaking very loudly about private matters in a public place where a number of strangers can hear it.  Assume that someone with bad intentions can hear it.  Speaking very loudly in public that your house is empty is potentially announcing to a burglar there will be no one there.  Most people overhearing you won't care, but someone might use that information.  The majority of people on here reading this are likely trustworthy, but there are potentially a few who are not.  The majority of people here are who they claim to be and what they say is likely true.  However, there are people who will pretend for nefarious purposes.  To be blunt, some sexual predator could pretend to be a young Christian woman (or a friendly helpful grandfatherly figure like I might appear to be right now) and try to make friends with you and get more personal information about your full name, phone number, address, e-mail, and things like that.  Do NOT exchange private messages with anyone without your dad knowing about it.  Do NOT make a connection with *anyone* from this site via e-mail, phone, Facebook, etc. without your dad approving it first even if they send you their personal information.   I'm a man in my mid 50s, in the two years I've been on here I've only shared my real name and e-mail with a few people.

I intentionally did not quote your post so if you make some changes, the original form will not be sitting in this post for someone to read.

I'd recommend dropping names from your post.  Simply saying "at my friend's house" instead of including her name.  Simply saying "my uncle" or "my friend's dad" rather than including his name.  Including references to names of places like what a particular ministry place is called can potentially allow people to use internet searches to find more information about you.  A determined person can use your history of posts over months and years to glean information about you.  Even an innocuous post saying something like "We ate at my favorite ribs restaurant since they had a $6.99 all you can eat special and my favorite band ABC was playing" could allow someone to do an internet search with a good chance of figuring out the location you were at (which would likely be at or near your home town).  

I'd strongly recommend changing your avatar picture from a personal photo to some type of picture or image that has meaning to you.   It is possible to use internet search techniques to search photos which could lead to finding actual pictures of you posted online via school or family photos.  It's not likely, but it is possible.

Overall, I'd recommend editing your original post down to drop names and the information that you are potentially alone at times and that your dad is out of town.  If your main concern is a prayer request for this time,  just a simple prayer request in the prayer request thread for your dad without giving away information might be good.  For example:  My dad is volunteering for disaster relief work.  We'd appreciate prayers for him and the family during this time.  Thanks.

[DavidGrainger]

Mr. Gandalf, Sir, I was trying to find the words, and you said it perfectly. I'm Noel's temporary guardian in her father's absence. I just want to assure you that at no time day or night is she ever alone. Noel and her dad, and my wife and I, our homes are in close proximity to the firehouse in one direction and our church in the other direction, so our homes are always spilling over with brothers and sisters in service, along with brothers and sisters in the Lord. It's a 24/7 type of situation. Noel's got 5+ firefighters within 10 feet of her pretty much 24/7. But that doesn't mean we should advertise who's home and who's away. I'm pretty stupid when it comes to the internet, and Noel's interest in this church on-line came on suddenly. So we're adapting. Her father is registered here too but isn't able to be in here right now to monitor things. Sir, you've given some excellent advice above, and I think Noel and I need to go back and do some editing. Noel was reminded early on to be careful how much she shares in this place, and she was holding back a lot of information, but obviously not enough. Thank you again for your input. It's entirely appreciated! 

David

[GandalfTheWise]

@DavidGrainger  @Noël   It's usually fine to share things and interact publicly.  It's just a matter of learning to do it with generic words and descriptions.  Over the years, I've shared a number of family stories and other things about myself, but always in generic terms.  I use such phrases as my wife or my kids rather than names.  I don't mention where I went to school except that it was in the Midwest or where I live except that it is somewhere in Wisconsin.  I refer to my career as an applied scientist without mentioning my specialty or what companies I worked for.   I'll just say something like "my daughter and grandkids visited this weekend" rather than "my daughter Amy with her children Amelia Ann and Amos Andrew drove over from Amery to visit us".

As I said in the beginning of my first post, this type of thing is more like buckling your seatbelt and driving defensively or having good batteries in a smoke detector.  It doesn't mean being scared each time you get into a car or not driving anywhere or worrying each night when you go to bed that your house will burn down.  It just means take some common sense precautions to make the unlikely event of an accident even less likely.  It's just a matter of getting in the habit of using generic language instead of details.  Most of us just hop on here and interact with each other publicly either in the forums or the public chat area (which is monitored by volunteers).

Even though I've tried to keep my anonymity intact on here, I make the assumption that someday my actual identity might be revealed and everything I've written here will be attributed to me.  There are many things I do not share about myself or friends or family.  There are some opinions I keep to myself.  I treat what I write here as if it would be something I'd be happy giving as a public testimony in front of the church.

 

[Noël]

Mr. Gandalf, you're a very wise man. 

Dear Worthy famiky:

I've taken some time away and I'm just back to update a prayer request for Uncle David's daughter. But also people here might have noticed a lot of my dad's brothers in Christ registering here lately. These are some of the men who are like fathers to me, who watch over me offline and keep me well protected. I love them very much and they are my family. We share meals together, laugh together, work together, pray together, go to church together. We share life and I always feel very safe offline. Anyone who wants to harm me would have to get through them first, and they're not get-through-able. 

I was having some issues here online at Worthy, so some of these same Uncles haved joined the Worthy family to extend that same protection over to the internet. Whenever I make a posting in here, one or more of them will be sitting next to me to monitor what I'm saying. Some young women wouldn't like that. Me? I'm overflowing with thankfukness and I feel very loved and very safe. They will all click the follow button on my profile so that even when someone looks at my profile, they'll see all these "scarecrows" hovering around me (hahaha! That's how they described it. I would never call them scarecrows.) 

So this is their way of reminding me they love me and that I'm not alone. I have a bunch of things to take care of yet for school and morning ministry, but I'll be here again soon. I love this Worthy family. Hugs and Prayers 

Noël Kaih

[JTC]

Hi Noel,  I think I remember you from a few years ago. If it was you, back then you were also worried about being too open online. I remember bc I'm also guilty of being too open at times. My problem is I believe people need to be more forthright online, but most people disagree with me. So don't listen to me listen to your uncles. I'm glad you have so many people watching out for you, its a wonderful blessing.

  Anyway, I just wanted to say hi and that I remember you.

Take care

JTC

[Debp]

5 hours ago, Noël said:

Noël Kaih

Hi Noel, nice to "see" you again.   I hope the above isn't your last name.   If it is, you should edit it out for your safety online.

[Smokeater]

6 hours ago, Debp said:

Hi Noel, nice to "see" you again.   I hope the above isn't your last name.   If it is, you should edit it out for your safety online.

Hi Deb, 

Noel is Noel Kaih and I'm Noah Kai. (First, middle). Thank you for keeping her safe in here. She's officially added you to her list of "Uncles" :) 

Hello JTC, I'm Noel's dad. If you knew a Noel in here a few years ago it was a different Noel. The current Noel was living with her mother at the time and the laptop she used (uses) for high school now, and the previous school, connects only to school. The students are partnered with one other study partner. So they talk with only that student and then the teachers. So this is new to her.

I think there is a balance where we can be forthright while at the same time not giving out our addresses or too much identifying information. I believe being forthright and being safe online are both number 1 in here. So we're working on finding a good balance between the two. Noel is a minor, so we also have to take that into consideration. God bless you brother! 

[lovethelord]

Hi Noel,

I like your refreshing candor and honesty in your posts.  I have a preteen daughter and I understand where you are coming from. I would not want her sharing personal information to strangers and to use discernment on what is posted.  From reading this post, I can see you have loving father, Uncle(s) and guardians watching you and what a blessing to be so loved and cared for. All I can say is to listen to the guidance of the living Spirit and only post what you feel comfortable doing.

Edited September 11, 2019 by lovethelord