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Not Trusting People


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Is it wrong to not trust people any more? I have closed my heart to human beings because I no longer trust them. I don't trust the motivation of other believers. When a Christian is telling, for example, that I am wrong, even if they maybe right, I don't trust that they have my best interest. They are only interested in making themselves look more righteous and holy. That is how I feel sometimes.

I am hardly around other Christians, for I don't fellowship with a congregation. And most of my friends are not even Christians. Mind you, I have very very little friends. And I just choose to stream my sermons. But the Christians I have known in the past have told that I was wrong and I shouldn't doing this or that, or I should be doing this or that. I got really angry because I did not ask them and because I don't want mere human beings correct me. I prefer that just the Bible correcting me.

But I still come on here and ask questions because I do want to know. I have in the past got offensive because some of the answers are things I did not want to hear. But I am learning to adapt to that.

So the question is, is it wrong that I have chosen not to trust people, even those who are believers? I can handle asking questions online, but I can't handle talking to people one-on-one offline. The Bible tells us to confess our sins one to another, but I do not trust that other believers will not condemn me.
 
 
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No I don’t think it’s wrong. We are not commanded to trust other people, although Christ did give gifts to the church and some of those gifts are pastors and teachers etc. So we  know there are trustworthy people out there.

Your decision to not trust people is a reaction to how you have been treated. You are  probably just going through a tough season in life and eventually the Lord will bring people into your life that you can trust.  I don’t believe He wants us to live in isolation. That is not a full life. 

Its okay to pull away from people for awhile. The apostle Paul did this. It can be healing and a time of reflection. But the goal should be to eventually find people that you can trust because you deserve that. 

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1Jn 1:7   ESV   But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from  all sin   The indication is that we are not being continually cleansed by the blood of Jesus if we are not in fellowship with God and other Christians.  It is important to be open to the correction of others.  It is also important to know the difference between the correction of God and the condemnation of the enemy.  God never condemns us.  

Oftentimes when we are hurt by others, the part of us that is wounded is our pride.  Pride is sin and needs to be destroyed.  At least that has been my experience.  It does hurt, but it is needful when we don't know how to humble ourselves.    God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.  John the Baptist's words ring true:  I must decrease that He might increase.  Pride and self must decrease for Jesus to increase and live through us.  So we are told to bless those who persecute us and pray for those who spitefully use us. 

 Heb 10:24  NKJV  And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works,   Heb 10:25  not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.

It is needful to be fit together in the body of Christ.  We will spend eternity among our brothers and sisters.  It is best to learn to be a blessing to them now.  


 

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1 hour ago, Heather2019 said:

Were they giving you advice based on what is in the Bible?  Because a good Christian friend will give advice, sometimes even if you are not ready to hear it.  This can be true with all friendships.  I have had friends give me advice when I wasn't ready for it, and then I had to work things through.

My thoughts are that life can get really lonely if you decide that you aren't going to trust people and make some good friends. Also, Jesus tells us to love others and forgive our enemies.  Impossible by ourselves, but possible with God's help.  I say this as someone who has trust issues myself, but it's something I know I need to continue to work on with God's help.

I like what Heather had to say. Very kind and intuitive :thumbsup:.

Sounds like you've been hurt by Christian types like many of us including myself.

James 1: 2 says, " Consider it all Joy when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance, and let that endurance, have it's perfect  result, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in NOTHING".

With the culture of the Christian faith going down hill like it is in many, many doctrines, those of us who have a true heart for not only Christ, but have a heart for doing His will, have to toughen up as things get worse and yet at the same time develop a heart to love no matter how we are treated.

It's something you pray for and expect God to answer in faith as He stretches you and grows you into a man of strong, quiet, confident and loving faith, that doesn't let anyone define his life or his choices except GOD HIMSELF.

We have to let God define us in a world of many false believers and false teachers and false doctrines. Romans 14:22 says, " The faith which you have, have as your own conviction before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves".

Stay in Gods word and let His TRUTH define you and strengthen you to be around people. God commands us to fellowship and love the brethren no matter how they act. If your too young in the faith to do that, find a church full of kind loving people who'll help you grow strong in the faith as they pray for you and love you.

Someday you can be strong for others and be there for them as they begin their walk of faith.

May God bless you abundantly as you walk in Faith - Dave

Edited by Seasoned by Grace
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11 hours ago, worthlessness1979 said:
So the question is, is it wrong that I have chosen not to trust people, even those who are believers? I can handle asking questions online, but I can't handle talking to people one-on-one offline. The Bible tells us to confess our sins one to another, but I do not trust that other believers will not condemn me.
 
 

Hi  sir, I hope you get to  eventually change your name to something more fitting for a child of God that you are in Christ Jesus.

In Christ you are a new creation, set to be an ambassador for Christ 2 corinthians ch5

You are not worthless but a conqueror in Christ Jesus. He loved you enough to allow you to find Him so He can help .

The Word of God mentions to trust God more than man, so you are on the right track to trust God over trusting people.

Psalm 118:8 8 It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man.

13 minutes ago, Seasoned by Grace said:

WORTHLESSNESS,

I hope it won't be long until you change your name to WORTHY, because God says we are all WORTHY.

God bless you on your walk, and I know for sure that someday soon you'll be helping others who need your help and support and love - Dave

 

Amen! I agree to what Dave has said. :amen:

You are not alone in having been hurt or having put your trust in the wrong people.

Here may be a helpful youtube  video:

The Spirit of Self rejection - Dr Pat Holliday - blogtalkradio

 

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Like others have said there's often a reason for it. It pays to get to the heart of that and see what you can do about it. Normally that takes good experiences to counter the bad ones. Even then it can be difficult to let go, especially if you've had this view for a long time. Overall not trusting people isn't a bad thing, though. In ways it's a survival skill. The question you need to ask is, does your lack of trust hinder you spiritually and/or diminish your enjoyment of life?

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I think, like all things, sometimes we trust, and sometimes we don't. The Word of God teaches us to be discerning. Personally, I trust someone until he gives me reason not to. God does say we are to love one another; that is a command. Jesus tells us love always trusts: 
7  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.   1 Corinthians 13:7  

It does not mean we are to be gullible, but it does not mean we are to be suspicious either. It also means being truthful if a man sins.

Once an elder of a church lied to me. It hurt. When I was sick, he came to visit, and I was thankful. I asked him about the time he lied to me. He was honest, admitted it, and asked me for forgiveness---all steps of redemption that in love I as a Christian accepted. But he told me something I will never forget: "If you expected to see Christ when I walked in, your expectations may be too high." He was saying we are blemished, flawed, imperfect---and that I must realize above anyone else that I am exactly the same way.

 

 

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Shalom @worthlessness1979

I can sympathise with your concerns.

16 hours ago, worthlessness1979 said:

But the Christians I have known in the past have told that I was wrong and I shouldn't doing this or that, or I should be doing this or that.

This, unfortunately, is a speciality amongst most Christians and it is known to be like this from atheists as well.  

Everyone's a teacher, everyone's got it 100% right, everyone knows it all.  You're doing well to check yourself against the Bible and not peer pressure.

16 hours ago, worthlessness1979 said:

So the question is, is it wrong that I have chosen not to trust people, even those who are believers? I can handle asking questions online, but I can't handle talking to people one-on-one offline.

I personally don't think so, for two reasons.

1. We are living in a confusing time for the church.  There are a lot of lukewarm teachings, confusion over basics (such as salvation and service) and ultimately a self-centred form of faith.  This is a generalisation of course. It that way, we are living in the prophetic age of the Laodicean Church, as described in the book of Revelation.  

You're doing wise to guard your heart, which is possibly a spiritual perception.  That said, it is important to trust and tolerate those of different views.  We are a family and not all families get on, but they do come together when needed.  I know it's hard to see much good and love out there amongst Christians at times (the tares are deeply entangled with the wheat) but there IS good and loving people out there for sure.  Reasonable people, kind people and genuine people.  If you shut yourself down completely, you will not get the pleasure of meeting them, learning from them and helping them.  

We are one body and so we cannot do somethings alone and need the input from other "parts" from time to time. (Personally, I believe that we won't get help from God at times, when we ought to be getting it from a chosen person in the body that we know, gifted with the answer we seek.)  Conversely, you will also have help you can give to someone in need in the body - whether through advice, encouragement, a listening ear, cheerfulness, a challenging view, financial or other type of support.  This is your great mission that only you can work out with Yahweh, but He surely has a mission for you and it will involve the body in some way.  But no, it doesn't mean it has to be offline and face-to-face. Online is fine, as this forum and many other sites prove.

2. Building on the above, not everyone in the body is meant to be the same.  We're not all shaped from the same cookie cutter!  Some are meant to be deep in the church, surrounded with people and connecting with people.  Others are meant to be further a field, sometimes right on the outskirts of the group.  But why?  I believe it's to reach those on the outskirts - non-believers and those wandering away from the centre.  In that way, think of it like the role of a sheep dog.  The dog isn't inside the group but on the perimeter helping to stop those straying away.  (One shouldn't confuse this analogy with the sheep in the flock of God, of course you are part of that group, but your role maybe designed for perimeter work.)  

There will be people you get to interact with who would only talk to YOUR type of personality and style, whereas they would react badly to another.  But if you were to ignore what feels right in your heart (in how you act and react), you might find yourself leaving your ordained role in favour of "copying Christians" in the centre of the group.  How then could you speak with a clear conscious before Yahweh if He asked you why you didn't follow what was naturally in your heart?

 

Therefore, don't get downhearted by judging yourself but what you see elsewhere.  Trust and work for Yahweh in anyway you feel that He wants you to, with compassion and good motives towards the body.  If they offend you, judge you or insult you unfairly, don't take it as representative of every Christian's point of view, just theirs.  The Messiah and apostles dealt with the same.  Instead let them act how they wish, self-righteous or judgemental, and just move on, working with good motives and love with anyone you feel that you can help or that the Lord has brought across your path, perhaps on the perimeter. 

Love & Shalom 

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