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DustyRoad

Predestination

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I was thinking about this the other day. At no time should readers of my writing here on Worthy worry in the least for my sake. Every day is a blessing from God but we know our days in this world are limited in number … and thank God for that! This is God's gift: I have the honor of spending the rest of my days in this world with the Lord who redeemed me. I'm never alone nor am I lonely because God fills my days, so I have nothing to fear. To live is Christ but to die is gain!

If I poof from the forum, I wouldn't want any of you to trouble yourselves over it. I could poof for many reasons. Here's what I would rather have you do which is what @frienduff thaylorde always tells others to do. You know what that is! Praise the Lord because I'm praying to continue doing the same until my time comes.

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10 hours ago, DustyRoad said:

Let's remember there's many reasons why someone no longer visits Worthy. If God doesn't reveal that reason to us how are we supposed to know? 

We are not to know many things.  I just wonder, but like Jesus, I care about them.  He knows what their situation is.  I am not his primary instrument - he has many others.  Hopefully many that are more effective than I am.

Thank you for the kind words.

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I, too, can’t seem to know what I should say, so I’ll just say, “I love you guys...press on!”

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There's only one reason why I find myself accepting predestination: God. Knowing the life I led before the great and dreadful calling of God came is the first clue. I've written about my awareness of lying spirits from an early age and how I fell under their sway. I sought Satan during my teen years and discovered my glaring weakness at that time; I fervently pursued that weakness as a man and was living in sin when the Lord first called out to me. His calling completely wrecked my life, spelling the end of that adulterous relationship and thrusting me into uncertainty and even despair. This was the first time I wandered without a home, staying with this Christian family for the evening and spending over a month sleeping in the garage of a different family. 

Not long after my baptism in water I fell to lust yet again, dragging a sister in the Lord along with me in sin. This event marked the beginning of those words spoken over me by a brother who knew God's mind: like the Son of Man I would wander without a place to rest my head. I was cast out of the assembly for my conduct and love of the flesh, left to the mercy of this world and the powers of darkness which rule over it. It was well-deserved and the elders were ministers of God's will: for as they learned that my departure was necessary the Lord also spoke to me, telling me to pack what I could carry and leave with haste. My time in that place was done.

Instead of drawing closer to God I turned away from him. In time my rage was directed at the Lord for I couldn't understand why he created me. Why fashion me from the dust when I'm hastily returning to it? Why create me so that all I'll know is failure and destruction? Why did God hate me so much? The Lord never answered and in time I did everything I could to forget about the Lord who called me out of the blue. I wouldn't speak his name or call out to God because I knew that I didn't exist to him. All this while I wandered the Earth without a home: whatever I accomplished was erased and crumbled to dust in my hands.

I yearned to die for so long. When I took matters into my own hands I invariably failed, botching things and living to see another day after all. I broke the rules and started praying to God asking, begging, and even demanding that he kill me. I was (literally and figuratively) filthy and didn't deserve to live another day; surely the Lord knew this. Then why was the end denied to me? I was trapped in living hell and I recognized the prison surrounding me as bad news which never ends. It rose with me each day and sought to devour my will to live. I was waiting for the next hammer to fall; even when I had a place to live I dwelled in it like a transient, sleeping in my clothes and keeping the most important belongings pressed against my body. I lived in the corner of a kitchen for years; it leaked in that corner whenever it rained (or snow melted) but it was better than living outside so I couldn't complain.

This was my estate: sooner or later I would be cast out of my abode, sent wandering until I stumbled upon another one. I was a thief and a vagrant, taking resources from others more deserving than I was; I was an invader and an outcast, wearing out good will and welcome wherever I went. I was repulsive and of no account, rejected by the woman who gave birth to me in this world. I came to despise her as well over time: why didn't she dispose of me when she had the chance? 

Until I came to Worthy I was frightened to speak the truth. How many times can I seek ways to avoid it? I'm a man who once prayed for death and did what he could do to end his life. I stopped eating and ceased taking medications because I decided death was all that mattered to me. I lived to die, waiting around for the end to come. Who would deny mercy to me?

God didn't. Our Father in heaven was moved for my sake and so this is why I live. The Lord is moving mightily in this world of the last days and there's no room for doubt in the end. 

Edited by DustyRoad
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@DustyRoad

thank you for sharing more of yous story.  It is good to hear of God working in your life.

As far as the doctrine of Predestination, I expressed my opinion on it in the topic that Coliseum put up. 

It is very, very important that we see God working.  It helps build our hope in him.

But that is a different subject than the doctrine of Predestination as defined by some christian groups. 

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