I’m hurting so much. I just need a place to talk...

[createdequal]

On ‎10‎/‎8‎/‎2019 at 2:02 PM, Jesusispeace said:

 

I .

i need some comfort but I’m avoiding everyone. It’s not like I can share all this with a stranger anyway

 

I can relate to almost all of this. I am not married but often wish I were bc I am even more alone in life than you are and have been alone a very long time. Some would say that is my own doing and it is, kind of, but I refuse to be in an unhealthy relationship.. better to be in none at all.

What really hit home was you talking about how you'd like more time to pray but you have to take care of others. I don't have anyone to care for (often wish I did) but I have a lot of mundane tasks i have to do and often resent said tasks because i just want to pray and do other things re the Lord and etc... But God does not take away a lot of my burdens and it seems life gives me too many at times.. so I just figured that .. well, I don't know how to put this so will think about it more b4 writing it..  

[missmuffet]

19 hours ago, other one said:

if he is possessed he needs an exorcism...  If you can't handle that, talk with your pastor for help, and if you don't have a pastor find one.   If your pastor can't help then find a new pastor.  

The role of casting out demons was replaced, for the most part, with evangelism and discipleship through the Word of God. Since the methods of spiritual warfare in the New Testament do not involve casting out demons, it is difficult to determine instructions on how to do such a thing. If necessary at all, it seems that it is through exposing the individual to the truth of the Word of God and the name of Jesus Christ.

[Jesusispeace]

15 hours ago, Repose said:

Be wary. Cheaters and abusers are often manipulative liars. Not to say you can't pray for him and try to guide him to God, but in that, don't let your guard down.

Beyond that, I'm happy to hear that things have improved. I'll pray for you, and him.

I’m praying for God to help me show grace to my husband as he’s trying to make some steps in improving. 
 

I really want to be difficult and tell him off about what he put me through

rje things he says to me now I just want to say YOU DID THAT TO ME!

but I know what scripture says

this is what makes God so incredible! The fact that He can show us grace. 
 

im still weary and have my guards up though I want to give him a chance to make actual changes in his behavior towards me. I don’t expect too much right away. 

but I certainly feel stronger now and more confident in handling myself and future

i am still giving it all to God and trusting Him To lead me

[Jesusispeace]

The devil always finds a way to derail things...

my daughter got sick yesterday which turned out whole day and evening upside down

we did not get a chance to pray 

as I spent all the evening soothing her and then eventually falling asleep because neither of us slept the night before. 
 

I was looking forward to prayer and I have scriptures prepared to speak over us. I will try again today!

 

i am so thankful for the prayers from everyone here and everyone’s responses and listening to me!!!

[Jesusispeace]

7 hours ago, missmuffet said:

The role of casting out demons was replaced, for the most part, with evangelism and discipleship through the Word of God. Since the methods of spiritual warfare in the New Testament do not involve casting out demons, it is difficult to determine instructions on how to do such a thing. If necessary at all, it seems that it is through exposing the individual to the truth of the Word of God and the name of Jesus Christ.

God delivered me twice from my own demons. And I know God can deliver my husband. Yes! It is exposing the individual to the Word!! I have been set free TWICE n my home without anyone performing anything on me. I was alone. Faith sets us free. And I am trying to get him to hear the Word!!! He is soooo stubborn and I feel like this is partially why we are in such a crisis... God needs to keep breaking him down more and more until he cries out on his own! 
 

I cried out to God when I felt broken enough. 
 

My husband recognizes he needs help but thinks I am the one who can save him! He really just needs to start by asking God.

 

i am hoping that his openness to prayer will lead him to ask God for help!

[Jesusispeace]

On 10/8/2019 at 6:09 PM, BeauJangles said:

I am truly sorry about how the marriage as it now stands seems to be already in shambles. In reading the post submitted, it looks like your husband needs to grow up. A lot. It's what's causing the rift between you and your oldest daughter for instance. Anyway, how about this for starters?

Matthew 11:28 ²⁸Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  KJV

John 14:27 ²⁷Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.  KJV

John 16:33 ³³These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.  KJV

Colossians 3:15 ¹⁵And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.  KJV

Numbers 6:24-26 ²⁴The LORD bless thee, and keep thee: ²⁵The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: ²⁶The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.  KJV

Isaiah 26:3 ³Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee.  KJV

Hi Beau,

he certainly does need to grow up. I truly feel God is breaking him down more and more so he will finally need him.

my husband, when we met was a very Independent, strong and confident individual. He was self sufficient, poised, and a huge go getter, not to mention kind and generous and loved me like no one else did. He was at the top of his game at work and got 2 back to back promotions!

he lived a very traumatic childhood

this is why I am so confused as to what’s happened. I have always prayed for his salvation.

but my husband is proud and he doesn’t believe he needs anyone or he needs saving. He believes we make our own destiny.

he has been broken down so much he’s unrecognizable. You’d ask yourself how I ever married him in the first place. He isn’t himself. I have heard so many pastors talk about God needing to break pride in individuals to save them.

im praying for him that he starts asking soon because we’re all exhausted!!

he and my older daughter actually started off in a great relationship and as my relationship with him deteriorated so did theirs until one day she just had enough and decided to live with her dad. Now she won’t even talk to me and i don’t understand why- I guess she really resents me for divorcing her dad and then all this happening but I don’t know for sure because she won’t talk to me!

[Jesusispeace]

On 10/8/2019 at 8:17 PM, Coliseum said:

My heart goes out to you. May I suggest you purchase the book, "Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life" by Henry Cloud and John Townsend---both Christian Psychologists. It could not be more appropriate at this time for you. I did a study on that book, and it helped me tremendously. Many, many people are facing what you are facing, but there is real hope in the very practical applications that Jesus reveals in this book. Please. Buy it. You are not here by accident. God bless you, sister.

 

I’m going to see if I can check it out of library. I don’t really want my husband to know I’m reading this... he takes care of all finances anyway and will know.

[Jesusispeace]

On 10/8/2019 at 8:44 PM, Dennis1209 said:

Yes Dear Sister, we're listening and praying for you. I don't pretend to know why bad things happen in my life or others, other than in this age the rain falls on the just and unjust alike. Many times I reread the following verses, trust them and take them to heart and it comforts me.

Proverbs 3:5 (KJV) Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. 6. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.

The Lord loves us, nothing happens by accident, He has a plan and purpose for our lives that many times we just can't comprehend until we get to Heaven. Then we will fully appreciate, understand and give praise and glory to the Lord for it. 

Romans 8:28 (KJV) And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Notice this isn't 'some things' but all things, and all means all. 

I don't know your situation and can only speak on a personal level concerning myself. I found great comfort and Christian fellowship finding and attending a local Gospel preaching Bible believing church. True Brothers and Sisters in Christ uphold and encourage one another, share and help one another with our burdens and problems in this life [spiritual - physical - financial]. A Godly Pastor can be a great source of spiritual guidance and emotional support. The body of Christ [the church] I suspect is waiting for you and wants to help, as well as we here. God Bless you Sister.

 

I feel like these are THE two scriptures that I am holding on to right now to make it through each day and make sense of anything in my head!

thank you for pointing them out!

[Jesusispeace]

21 hours ago, JustPassingThru said:

@JesusispeaceBeloved sister, I have read what you have said and I've heard you speak from your heart, ...I too am listening.

My first question is why do you believe Father told you to stay, ...was it to stay in your marriage, ...yes I agree, ...but I doubt Father contradicted Himself concerning an abusive situation:

But if the unbelieving one separates, let him be separated. A brother or a sister is not in bondage in such cases, but God has called us in peace.  1 Cor 7;15

The word peace means: tranquility, security, safety, harmony, ...Father doesn't want you to "submit to your husband," ...and be his punching bag just because his life is in a shambles, ...please, may I humbly suggest your next phone call is to find a safe place for abused women, ...maybe look in the phone book, or call the police and ask if they can refer you to one, ...talk to the police, ...just register his behavior with them, ...that doesn't mean you have to file charges, ...your looking for information and a safe place for your children.

Because of your situation, your first responsibility is no longer to your husband, but rather to your children, ...please remember, our children are on loan to us from God, ...one day we will have to give an account to Him for how we raised them, ...that means their safety, both physical and spiritual is paramount in their lives.

Look at and consider what Paul says:

 For what do you know, O wife, whether you shall save your husband?    1 Cor 7:16  

Your separating from your husband for your safety and the children could be the final thing that breaks Him, ...from what you have said he has lost everything that he considers of value, ...except you and his daughter, ...our Salvation is a moment of extreme "crisis," ...a moment when time seems to stand still, at that moment, when we realize who we really are, ...sinners, where we are destined to go, ...Hell, and we need to be saved from who we are and where we are going,

...dear one, you have done all you can do, ...you have brought Christ to your husband, ...please remember, no matter how much you love him, ...and you do love him to stay with him, ...only the Holy Spirit can bring him to Christ...

Precious sister, ...please ask Father to remove you out of harms way, please let Him lead and guide your life at this time in your marriage.

Be assured, ...I'm praying for you along with the others here at Worthy.

Lord bless

 

 

Thank you for your prayers 

ironically, my unbelieving husband is not the one trying to separate from me. The opposite, he is constantly reeling me back as I have tried to leave him several times. 

I sometimes wonder if this is the final step that’s really needed in order him to break down to the point of crying out to God. 
 

But, nonetheless, I talk to God about the right steps and He tells me to stay. I don’t know why. I don’t have the answers. The only thing that comes to mind it Romans 8:28. And I have to trust God. 
 

i ask God everyday to protect me and to lead my husband to salvation and deliverance. I know I can’t save him. 
 

i know the plans God has for me- that’s to protect and prosper me and I believe he’s working that out!

[Tzephanyahu]

Shalom  @Jesusispeace,

My heart goes out to you sister.  Reading your posts feels me with frustration, anger, sadness but also hope.  

Hope because it seems that you are under a great deal of pressure from all sides and that often indicates that you have some calling on your life which is very important, and there could be spiritual warfare against you to keep you down, suppressed and without joy.  I wonder what He has planned for you...

May I ask if you have been baptised with the Holy Spirit?  If you have not, seek this above all things.

There will come a time when continuing to witness to someone who resists actually becomes counterproductive.   The more your witness, the thicker the wall.  At such stalemates, your best chance to reach them is with demonstration.  Try to see it this way...

Your husband is sat in the dark and has been hit regularly with a light. Intermittently, without warning, but regularly.  This light temporarily lights him and his sins up and so he runs in the opposite direction, back to the comfortable darkness. 

This light is you, persistently witnessing to him after he has resisted.  However, if you were not to do anything at all, he would be surrounded by darkness and lost without hope... 

Therefore, if you live your life and keep your ways in the Lord's ways, neither pushing your witness on him, boisterously shouting praises or singing worship songs, then this is what it will be like:  You will be a glowing light near to him in the darkness, standing strong and firm.  A soft, welcoming beacon of light.  Eventually, when he gets weary of the darkness,  and he will, he'll draw near to the light - ready to be lit up by it at his own pace.

Now, for this to be effective, you need to have joy and peace in your spirit and confidence in the Lord and His goodness.  Such power can only come by the Holy Spirit (hence why I asked earlier).   Again, if you haven't been baptised with the Holy Spirit - seek this above all things.

But if you maintain this for a short while and then he sees you collapse from it, he'll likely doubt your faith.  It would be like seeing the light flicker in the wind or die out for a short time. 

When people struggle in life, like your husband, and are around positive people - they can try and break their joy to bring them down to their level.  This is a subconscious action as the sufferer tries to get a grip on reality.  When they encounter someone with joy they can think "But you don't realise how bad everything is! let me show you!".  Again, this subconscious and not necessarily malicious.  However, if that person they are trying to bring down remains at peace regardless - it can really shake up their reality eventually and make them think "what have they got that I haven't?  How can they be at such peace and contentment?  I want that too."

Important Note:  For the above to be effective, you must remain continuously with joy, peace and confidence (which can only come from the Holy Spirit) but you also must continue to show love, care and empathetic - otherwise you could come across cold and uncaring.   Think of it like this - Just as the Messiah is your anchor, so you must be the anchor for your husband (at least at this time) - remaining strong and sturdy against all the stormy waves he faces.

I hope that makes sense.

May Yahweh bless you with wisdom, safety, peace and an abundant pouring out of His Spirit at this time.  

Trust in Him and remain in prayer privately.  Be ready for the long-haul but expect an change eagerly.

Love & Shalom