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8 hours ago, sapphire15 said:

Firstly, a big thank you again to those who welcomed me here. 

I'm in a bit of a complicated situation because several things are happening at once. 

I've been struggling the past few days with slipping back after a couple of comments were made to me by another believer.  I won't go into them as I've already had assurance that the comments were overly harsh and not warranted, but it made me realise that I am really not very emotionally resilient and have been too led by ups and downs of feelings and circumstances in my relationship with God, even though just before the remarks I had felt really positive. 

I don't work currently and haven't for some time.  I was going to push ahead and apply for something part-time.  However, the downward spin I've found myself in the past few days has alerted me to the fact that perhaps I am not really able to manage pressures in a secular environment at the moment .   There is a painting group that I'd love to go to, although it classes with one bible study class,  and I'm thinking that as for many years I've wanted to do something artistic that this might be a good opportunity.    I haven't done anything before, partly because it seemed to affect my relationship with one of my parents (who also has wanted to do art).  But its become even more evident, that distancing myself from my parents (non-Christian) might be best for my health.  

In addition, I've just come out of a church after a new elder came and a group I was going to stopped, although I have been told that I am welcome still to visit.   So I am not well knitted into a church family currently and if possible, would be grateful for prayer about this, especially that it would become really clear where I am to be.

Thanks for reading this far.   I've tried not to get overly deep, but at the same time highlight the fact that I've been struggling (again!).   

 

 

 

 

 

We are all in the same boat as you, in degree---tailor made for each of us by God. Oh, how many times I have heard how we wish we could trade places; then sometimes it happens, and then we wish we never said it. God gives to each of us what He knows we can handle, if we depend upon Him. I struggle too, and letting it go is hard; but I pray and know that the more I struggle, the more I give to Him---because I can't do it. The greatest burden people have is the fear of giving up their control. But that is exactly what God desires of us---letting Him have your heart---all of it. :)

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5 hours ago, DustyRoad said:

The work of Christ continues to unfold, sapphire15. Don't be dismayed! God tests each one of us, trying us by fire because we're the work of his hands.  

Here are some things I meditate upon during my trial:

  • The will of God is done in my life
  • Regardless of what's done to me, I love the Lord 
  • Because of this I will return evil with good and bless those who are spiteful toward me
  • Never me, but Jesus Christ magnified.


Yes, our emotions can prove to be quite the stumbling block. Never fear because Christ is faithful to continue that work he started: the Son of God is glorified in you @sapphire15! In our weakness the Lord makes known his strength and in brokenness we are that work Christ begun.  Take heart and rejoice!

hi DustyRoad, thank you for sharing things that are helpful to meditate on.  I really think that I do need to 'see' Jesus better and if anyone has any helpful thoughts on this I'd be grateful.  Perhaps if I studied scripture more, and was more disciplined to apply lessons I'd progress much better - I listened to someone sharing that they had a two hour study time each day.

Thanks so much for reminding me of the verse that Christ is faithful to continue that work he started.

May God bless and encourage you,

Sapphire15 

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Nothing hurts more than harsh critical words from a friend or loved one.  God uses these to teach us to forgive quickly and to love the person anyhow.  Jesus prayed "forgive them, they know not what they do" while he was hanging on the cross.  His Spirit lives in us and tells us to treat others that same way.  We are to love them anyhow, because God in Christ loves and forgives them.  

I always think of Job whose 3 friends kept telling him that things were going from bad to worse because he had sinned. This wasn't true--God had said that Job was righteous.  But worn down by his trials and deep loss, he started justifying himself saying he didn't deserve these trials instead of justifying God.  In the end after Job had repented, God told Job to pray for his 3 friends.

Going through these trials is very hard.  I once told God that I didn't want to be on a mountain top of blessings or in the lush valley of trials and temptations.  I just wanted to stay in the cleft of the Rock,  close to Jesus.  You see, sometimes the only time we draw near to God is when we are going through trials.  Often those trials are there to keep us humble as well.  I just want to stay close to God, not needing experiences and not needing trials to keep me close.

 2Co 12:7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure.

 2Co 12:8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me.

 2Co 12:9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

 2Co 12:10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Mat 5:10  "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Mat 5:11  "Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.

Mat 5:12  Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

 

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Hi there and welcome to you sapphire15, I'm so blessed and encouraged by the responses of my/ our brothers and sisters in Christ to you. So much love and concern to help the broken hearted, the dejected and fallen down one, to bless and encourage, to lift you up before the Throne of God, blesses me, and you, God bless each one of us in our journey to Him.

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18 hours ago, Coliseum said:

We are all in the same boat as you, in degree---tailor made for each of us by God. Oh, how many times I have heard how we wish we could trade places; then sometimes it happens, and then we wish we never said it. God gives to each of us what He knows we can handle, if we depend upon Him. I struggle too, and letting it go is hard; but I pray and know that the more I struggle, the more I give to Him---because I can't do it. The greatest burden people have is the fear of giving up their control. But that is exactly what God desires of us---letting Him have your heart---all of it. :)

hi Coleseum, 

Thanks for your reply.... on reading it what also comes to mind is the importance of being thankful for all the blessings that God provides, especially where I've taken things perhaps for granted.  I do have lots to be thankful for - like central heating, fresh water and sufficient clothing and food.  I remember reading a verse which I think is in 2 Timothy which talks of being content with food and shelter.  So much difficulty I think has been from me either looking back or jumping ahead, rather than resting in what God has provided and is doing and wants to do today.  Now its remembering that for tomorrow too!!!

Thanks again for posting and may God bless and encourage you,

Sapphire15

 

 

 

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2 minutes ago, sapphire15 said:

hi Coleseum, 

Thanks for your reply.... on reading it what also comes to mind is the importance of being thankful for all the blessings that God provides, especially where I've taken things perhaps for granted.  I do have lots to be thankful for - like central heating, fresh water and sufficient clothing and food.  I remember reading a verse which I think is in 2 Timothy which talks of being content with food and shelter.  So much difficulty I think has been from me either looking back or jumping ahead, rather than resting in what God has provided and is doing and wants to do today.  Now its remembering that for tomorrow too!!!

Thanks again for posting and may God bless and encourage you,

Sapphire15

 

 

 

I appreciate you, Sapphire. What God is perhaps teaching those who are listening is what Paul was finally able to convey: 

"I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him."

The hardest part is when we are going through it---and that is why Paul ends his proclamation by saying, "through him." I am learning this personally. We want to believe what Jesus said, and we do---however, mostly intellectually. But my question to me is, "Do I believe him with my actions when the time comes"? When God permits sickness, when He takes things from me, when others hurt me...etc., can I also say to God, "Thank you for blessing me now when all I have left is my name"? :)

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19 hours ago, Willa said:

Nothing hurts more than harsh critical words from a friend or loved one.  God uses these to teach us to forgive quickly and to love the person anyhow.  Jesus prayed "forgive them, they know not what they do" while he was hanging on the cross.  His Spirit lives in us and tells us to treat others that same way.  We are to love them anyhow, because God in Christ loves and forgives them.  

I always think of Job whose 3 friends kept telling him that things were going from bad to worse because he had sinned. This wasn't true--God had said that Job was righteous.  But worn down by his trials and deep loss, he started justifying himself saying he didn't deserve these trials instead of justifying God.  In the end after Job had repented, God told Job to pray for his 3 friends.

Going through these trials is very hard.  I once told God that I didn't want to be on a mountain top of blessings or in the lush valley of trials and temptations.  I just wanted to stay in the cleft of the Rock,  close to Jesus.  You see, sometimes the only time we draw near to God is when we are going through trials.  Often those trials are there to keep us humble as well.  I just want to stay close to God, not needing experiences and not needing trials to keep me close.

 2Co 12:7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure.

 2Co 12:8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me.

 2Co 12:9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

 2Co 12:10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Mat 5:10  "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Mat 5:11  "Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.

Mat 5:12  Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

 

hi Willa,

So sorry not to have replied yet.  I just typed a long reply and lost it!!!   I'm a little tired but will try and respond later.

Take care,

Sapphire15

 

 

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On ‎10‎/‎29‎/‎2019 at 8:18 PM, Repose said:

I've often said that I'm like Humpty Dumpty. No matter how much or how hard I try, I just can't seem to put myself together. You're only ever Humpty Dumpty to yourself, though. You know who can put those pieces back together? God. We all get a bit slippery and have times of difficulty, but they are learning opportunities, to turn to God and learn something new.

I guess I can't push you into a secular job, but keeping your body busy can be good. Some chores around the house, some exercise... You'd be amazed at how much it can improve your mood.

You might also consider online painting tutorials - that way it doesn't have to clash with the class. Any form of art can be nice; I like to try out poetry when the mood hits me.

I don't know what to say about the church part other than to maybe give it time. I hope things can come together for you at some point.

hi Repose,

Thank you for your positive and encouraging reply.  I'm sorry I hadn't got back to you sooner - I lost track a little with who I had replied to  :blush2: !   Thankfully today was better and I got some cleaning done which felt like an achievement and paperwork is in a neater pile ready to tackle.  I have actually seen an online painting class with Udemy which looks really good - I notice they do sales sometimes on their courses which helps a great deal - but I will also try the class.  I'm not sure where painting or art will lead but its something I look forward to trying.

I probably do need to give the church part more time - and focus on being thankful for the friendships that I have at the moment.

May God bless and encourage you too,

Sapphire15

 

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On 10/29/2019 at 11:06 PM, Willa said:

Nothing hurts more than harsh critical words from a friend or loved one.  God uses these to teach us to forgive quickly and to love the person anyhow.  Jesus prayed "forgive them, they know not what they do" while he was hanging on the cross.  His Spirit lives in us and tells us to treat others that same way.  We are to love them anyhow, because God in Christ loves and forgives them.  

I always think of Job whose 3 friends kept telling him that things were going from bad to worse because he had sinned. This wasn't true--God had said that Job was righteous.  But worn down by his trials and deep loss, he started justifying himself saying he didn't deserve these trials instead of justifying God.  In the end after Job had repented, God told Job to pray for his 3 friends.

Going through these trials is very hard.  I once told God that I didn't want to be on a mountain top of blessings or in the lush valley of trials and temptations.  I just wanted to stay in the cleft of the Rock,  close to Jesus.  You see, sometimes the only time we draw near to God is when we are going through trials.  Often those trials are there to keep us humble as well.  I just want to stay close to God, not needing experiences and not needing trials to keep me close.

 2Co 12:7 And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure.

 2Co 12:8 Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me.

 2Co 12:9 And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

 2Co 12:10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

Mat 5:10  "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Mat 5:11  "Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account.

Mat 5:12  Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

 

hi Willa,

Thanks so much for your reply.  I note the quote at the bottom of it - very apt for me to take heed of because although I found the remark from my friend (edit 31/10) harsh, I think I also reacted harshly.

It did hurt yes, and to be honest I'm thinking that it might be best to have some space and agree with the suggestion alluded to in your example about Job praying for his friends. 

Your reply has got me thinking a bit more about forgiveness.   I'm not convinced that Jesus taught unconditional forgiveness - I hope I'm not misunderstanding what you've written. In Luke 17:3-4 he says "Watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.   Even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times returns to say, 'I repent,' you must forgive him."

There is also the parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:21-35.  But there also, the servant who owed the lesser amount of money was repentant and was asking for time to repay the smaller debt.

These examples are of course within the body of Christ. 

But then, as I understand it, when we come to Christ seeking forgiveness, in His mercy and grace He forgives us all our sins but we are expected to aim at walking in repentance....at this point tiredness is taking over again, sorry,...... I need to take a break from the screen.... will write again God willing....

Thanks again for writing and may God bless you,

Sapphire15

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by sapphire15
had given wrong impression
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2 hours ago, sapphire15 said:

hi Willa,

Thanks so much for your reply.  I note the quote at the bottom of it - very apt for me to take heed of because although I found the remark harsh, I think I also reacted harshly.

It did hurt yes, and to be honest I'm thinking that it might be best to have some space and agree with the suggestion alluded to in your example about Job praying for his friends. 

Your reply has got me thinking a bit more about forgiveness.   I'm not convinced that Jesus taught unconditional forgiveness - I hope I'm not misunderstanding what you've written. In Luke 17:3-4 he says "Watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.   Even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times returns to say, 'I repent,' you must forgive him."

There is also the parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:21-35.  But there also, the servant who owed the lesser amount of money was repentant and was asking for time to repay the smaller debt.

These examples are of course within the body of Christ. 

But then, as I understand it, when we come to Christ seeking forgiveness, in His mercy and grace He forgives us all our sins but we are expected to aim at walking in repentance....at this point tiredness is taking over again, sorry,...... I need to take a break from the screen.... will write again God willing....

Thanks again for writing and may God bless you,

Sapphire15

 

Forgiving is for our own sake.  If we do not forgive we become bitter and that is very destructive to ourselves and the people we love around us.  The Bible calls it a root of bitterness that defiles us.

Very sorry if I came across harshly.  Did not meant to be at all because I have been hurt that way many times and had to determine myself to forgive.  In fact, if I had become a little self righteous it became a lot harder to forgive.  When I realize that there but for the grace of God go I, and I am not without sin, it becomes much easier whether or not if they want to be forgiven or even know I have forgiven them.  I learn to have pity on them.  Praying for you sis in your anguish and grief.

Heb 12:14  Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord:  Heb 12:15  looking carefully lest anyone fall short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause trouble, and by this many become defiled;

 

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