No more

[Guest]

25 minutes ago, LadyKay said:

Have you consider finding a different church?

 

Is it not the same everywhere? I bet it is. 

I will just go less often. A compromise. 

[AnOrangeCat]

6 hours ago, Melinda12 said:

I am going to stop attending church. 

I cannot stand any more of the people. The group that runs everything is unbearable. Squabbling with each other, being self important, so petty. It puts me off my joy of worship. They even resent that i am a quiet one who will not join in their nonsense. I used to be involved in everything but withdrew some time ago as i got exhausted of being put upon. Now i find their personalities tiresome so i say little and feel unwelcome and increasingly an outsider because i won't play their game. 

I feel resting at home on Sundays is far better. I am happiest reading my Bible, lots of Christian books, praying and being alone and peaceful. I have good real Christian friends and we get together quietly for coffee and to pray and talk in my home. I love that.

But what of fellowship and singing hymns? Of mutual support? It's just the few have spoilt that for everyone and i cannot cope with such disruption to my peace of mind any more. 

So i may attend occasionally now. I will miss it as it was my routine i valued so much. I am so sad about it all. Has anyone else been driven from their church? 

I have mixed feelings on the topic. I've felt let down with the church before. I strongly believe that you can go to church (a building where people who are hopefully largely Christian gather together) without actually going to Church (a gathering of believers that support each other and pray and worship God together) and that an informal gathering of believers can certainly fill the role of Christian assembly. People have their preferences on what works for them and we should generally go for the church styles we're most drawn to.

I've struggled with this next part myself and fallen short as I tend to be very introverted and not good at confrontation. I've come to believe that if there are problem behaviors going on in our local churches that are driving us away we may well have some level of responsibility to try to address them at the source after adequate prayer and self examination. If we just leave without at least trying to correct these issues it's like putting a bushel over our God-given light. It's important because bad apples in the church tend to have effects that extend beyond our individual problems with them.

[lftc]

9 hours ago, Melinda12 said:

I am going to stop attending church. 

I cannot stand any more of the people. The group that runs everything is unbearable. Squabbling with each other, being self important, so petty. It puts me off my joy of worship. They even resent that i am a quiet one who will not join in their nonsense. I used to be involved in everything but withdrew some time ago as i got exhausted of being put upon. Now i find their personalities tiresome so i say little and feel unwelcome and increasingly an outsider because i won't play their game. 

I feel resting at home on Sundays is far better. I am happiest reading my Bible, lots of Christian books, praying and being alone and peaceful. I have good real Christian friends and we get together quietly for coffee and to pray and talk in my home. I love that.

But what of fellowship and singing hymns? Of mutual support? It's just the few have spoilt that for everyone and i cannot cope with such disruption to my peace of mind any more. 

So i may attend occasionally now. I will miss it as it was my routine i valued so much. I am so sad about it all. Has anyone else been driven from their church?

Hello Melinda12,

not sure you want to hear my view as I don't think you liked my views on the previous questions you asked.

After debating with myself, I will present it as maybe there is a 1% that will find something useful in it.

It is interesting that this comes up at the same time as the astute question from @Bee32 in his "welcome" post.

As @Justin Adams observed above (interestingly observing three tiers as did Bee32), there are the exceptions, people who truly seek. 

"church" is a word around which swirls massive amounts of equivocation, redefining the word in different ways in the middle of a conversation.  Jesus used the word to initate building his church as those that believe what Peter said in Matt 16 Peter replied, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”
In some usages people mean a logical doctrinal affiliation when the say church, such as Anglican or Baptist.
Often people mean a specific building that houses a local group affiliated with a doctrinal group.  I think that is what you mean here.  You are going to stop attending at that specific building with that specific group of people, because they are in one of Bee32's first 2 sets of christians.

I said all that to illuminate that the church of Jesus is available to experience outside the walls of that particular building/group.

---

Several here have referenced the phrase from Hebrews "[do not forsake assembling]".  This is an appropriate reference, but the context deserves some attention.  Hebrews was written to the Hebrew (Jews) christians, who were still heavily involved in the Old Covenent worship (hence some of passages that are difficult when taken out of context).  Being still devoted to the Law, they would have felt their primary duty to attend synagogue (a Pharisee invention) or the Temple, and viewed association with other christians as the secondary way of experiencing God.  So the writer of Hebrews is encouraging them to in the whole book to move away from the Old Covenant to the New Covenant.  A dangerous thing for them to do, as ceasing attending synagogue and associating regularly with christians would expose them to societal oppression.  But associating with other christians is important.

---

Reading through church history, one finds a discouraging but illuminating history of corruption in the organized "churches", but if one keeps reading at the deep level, it is possible to discern an ever present thread of the true church of Jesus, the people in Bee32's 3rd group, the people who know that sin is too comprehensive to overcome and cast themselves on the mercy of God expressed through Jesus, and make that their mission in life, to do the "New Commandment" Jesus gave: "LOVE ONE ANOTHER".   THink about that for a moment - a NEW COMMANDMENT.  Yet it is definitely a commandment in the Old Covenant.  Here is more of it: 34A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. 35By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”  Important context: this is just before the crucifixion, the inception of the New Covenant.

This section was intended to illuminate that the true chruch of Jesus is not bound together by minute details of doctrine but by Love (precisely defined by the death of Jesus (John 3:16) and 1 Cor 13). 

---

What does all this have to do with your experience with your local congregation?  I feel that the Hebrews passage about assembly is important to spiritual life, but it is refering to assembling with others through a bond of real Love, that is willing to die for the other person's sins (impossible to live up to, but remains the goal).  Those people could be at the local congregation among the always present and powerful groups 1&2 from Bee32.  But if you choose to stop attending that congregation, it is important to find other's that follow Jesus and meet with them to Love each other.  Bee32 needs that kind of a group.  I too desparately need that group.  Melinda12, your friends you meet with may be among the true church, that is for you to evaulate.

@Bee32 to answer your question in the Welcome Forum, I hope and strive to be part of the Jesus group, group 3.  I hope and pray for endurance for you as you walk the lonely road.  Your sins were forgiven right after Jesus gave the New Commandment. Father forgive them for they ...  .  Me Also.

 

Edited November 1, 2019 by lftc
changed "people who know that their sins are too great to overcome" to "people who know that sin is too comprehensive to overcome"

[LadyKay]

1 hour ago, Melinda12 said:

Is it not the same everywhere? I bet it is. 

I will just go less often. A compromise. 

No it is not the same everywhere.   

[Guest]

6 hours ago, BeauJangles said:

Hi Melinda, 

I've highlighted an essential key phrase here to your post, because it does say a lot. It's terribly unfortunate that so few have totally ruined your church experience. For now, at least. Perhaps a step back from attendance and time-out will help you with recouping from the toxic congregants. Have you considered speaking to the minister about your decision? It might be helpful for him to know this.  

It's not likely those of the 'chosen frozen' will change. Especially if they have been members for quite some time. You on the other hand, can choose how they affect your emotions. But for now, give it the time you feel is needful for the sake of your spiritual sanity. I see no wrong in taking a little vacation, and getting alone with the Lord concerning this situation. God bless you, sister. Praying for you.  

Shalom, 

David/BeauJangles 

 

I hear what you are saying a d will reflect. 

A small point, vicar is part of the problem. I cannot stand him. I believe he is all showmanship with little substance. 

[missmuffet]

9 hours ago, Melinda12 said:

I am going to stop attending church. 

I cannot stand any more of the people. The group that runs everything is unbearable. Squabbling with each other, being self important, so petty. It puts me off my joy of worship. They even resent that i am a quiet one who will not join in their nonsense. I used to be involved in everything but withdrew some time ago as i got exhausted of being put upon. Now i find their personalities tiresome so i say little and feel unwelcome and increasingly an outsider because i won't play their game. 

I feel resting at home on Sundays is far better. I am happiest reading my Bible, lots of Christian books, praying and being alone and peaceful. I have good real Christian friends and we get together quietly for coffee and to pray and talk in my home. I love that.

But what of fellowship and singing hymns? Of mutual support? It's just the few have spoilt that for everyone and i cannot cope with such disruption to my peace of mind any more. 

So i may attend occasionally now. I will miss it as it was my routine i valued so much. I am so sad about it all. Has anyone else been driven from their church? 

 

 

As a Christian you are not required to attend a Church. Stay close to God. Read your Bible and pray daily. I do not attend a Church. 

[BeauJangles]

55 minutes ago, Melinda12 said:

I hear what you are saying a d will reflect. 

A small point, vicar is part of the problem. I cannot stand him. I believe he is all showmanship with little substance. 

It sounds like more than a small point to me, Melinda. At one time, my brother in-law who is an ordained minister, co-joined with another to help in ministry in the rather small congregation he officiated. He was also like the vicar you've described, and his long winded sermons commonly went way over the usual expected time.

It grated on my nerves so badly, I began to stop going on the Sunday's when it was his turn to preach. This alone for you also is a big factor on deciding not to attend as much as you have. In this instance, it's pretty big hearted of you to return on Sunday services at all. I applaud your efforts towards this. God bless. 

[Bee32]

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Edited November 9, 2021 by Bee32

[Bee32]

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Edited November 9, 2021 by Bee32

[Guest]

3 hours ago, BeauJangles said:

It sounds like more than a small point to me, Melinda. At one time, my brother in-law who is an ordained minister, co-joined with another to help in ministry in the rather small congregation he officiated. He was also like the vicar you've described, and his long winded sermons commonly went way over the usual expected time.

It grated on my nerves so badly, I began to stop going on the Sunday's when it was his turn to preach. This alone for you also is a big factor on deciding not to attend as much as you have. In this instance, it's pretty big hearted of you to return on Sunday services at all. I applaud your efforts towards this. God bless. 

I appreciate your thoughts but, in fact i feel this vicar, this man,  is not a proper believer. I feel he is in it for a career and platform to be important and to show off. Have authority. I do not get any sense of passion for the Word of God. An emptiness instead. 

Does that make any sense? These are not thoughts i can voice. Just my own inner feeling. It goes for others in positions of authority in this church, older retired folk who revel in the self importance of it all. I cannot bear it. All glory should go to God never persons. These holier than thou people put mere mortals off with their lofty attitudes. You cannot ever speak to them as they are all very busy busy. 

Actually, i am of no consquence anyway. I doubt they will miss me. I am nobody. I am actually overjoyed to be nobody! I like being anonymous and so free to do as i wish. I want to be humble and never important. Trouble is - i cannot bear attention seeking people. Can anyone understand what i am saying?  

Edited November 1, 2019 by Melinda12