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Do Christian girls still go for bad boys?


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1 hour ago, Willa said:

Most "goody goody" Christian girls are incredibly naive.  Others hope to change the bad guy.  That is also being naive.  Only God can change them.  Most pity the bad guys, as God pities us all who are lost and need salvation.  They don't understand yet that pitying love comes from God and they should let guys minister to guys;  in other words, they don't understand how dangerous guys can be and how gullible they themselves are.  Nor do they understand how strong a guys sex drive is because women think in terms of marriage, a home and family; even when girls like that are flirtatious they don't necessarily think in terms of sex.  They want a guy's friendship.  

Most don't even understand yet that just because a guy comes from a Christian family, it doesn't mean they are born again.  

I have listened to many girls who were raped by someone they met at church.  Some feel very fallen, that no one would want them afterwards, or even that God would never forgive them.  They can't forgive themselves.  This is not only true of church girls who are baby Christians.  I have talked to women that were not Christians and not raised in Christian homes that felt the same way as far as feeling fallen and had a very low opinion of themselves after sex outside of marriage.  They often feel totally worthless so they sleep around afterwards.  That is their words. 

I mostly agree with this..however I would note that females have just as strong desires as the men.

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4 hours ago, mlssufan01 said:

I can't seem to shake this notion that the majority of women, especially attractive women (even Christian women), only want the stereotypical bad boy--tattoos, motorcycle, cuss word, slept with more than a dozen women....even their religious background is not important.  Having been subjected to secular culture, it is apparent that the secular man will, in many cases, specifically pursue the goody goody Christian girl, and rejoice at all their successes...and what's worse, in most stories, they tell of a woman who pursued them first.  I should point out, that these accounts seem pretty reliable, as they do make note that not all women are like this, and have found the are deeply devout girl who would completely reject them, but for the most part, these bad boys are successful and bringing Christian women to bed.
But my problem is, why do women fall for it?  There are plenty of upstanding men in the church, and yet, the women reject the men who regularly attend church, pray, read their Bible...even the outgoing ones that share their faith.
While I don't claim to be good, I don't go out of my way to be evil...but I have noticed a few things:  When I first attended church as a non Christian...women were all over me...until I converted...then they wanted me no more...until I had an angry moment where I yelled at the entire church to be quiet as pastor was vying for people to sit down and I was annoyed....I remember very vividly that day being approached by several attractive ladies.  I also remember being pursued only when I would leave the church for a while.
Recently, a Christian girl said she wanted to befriend every single coworker of hers...I didn't agree this was necessarily a good idea, but that she should be careful...even though she was annoyed at first, she and her friend began texting me 5 times a day...when I responded nicely, asking how their day was...they backed off.
I know nobody is perfect, but at some level this makes me feel like I have to be a degenerate if I actually want to find a woman to marry.

If a woman is a true born again Christian she will not go for "the bad guy". There are very few of the Proverbs 31 women left in our world today. They are very uncommon. 

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I'd say the vice-versa is true, too. I've seen secular women talking about wanting to mess with and seduce christian men - and it is ever so difficult to deal with aggressive women. Honestly, it's like the more you say no and seem unobtainable, the more coocoo they get. I've got stories that I'd reckon most wouldn't believe. They get WAY too comfortable about touching.

I can imagine there being a mindset like how Willa described, a sort of pity, as that's what I've experienced with secular women approaching me. They're looking for love, really, it's just that they feel like their body is the only way they might obtain it (when that is highly misguided). I don't quite get what the female mindset of that would be exactly, but still. It is a form of attack by the enemy, that promiscuous people are drawn to try and act as stumbling blocks to the Christian way. It's not even the only way in which they do so. The only thing I can think of to do is advocate that others resist the temptation, to pray for the strength to do so.

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Wow. At first I thought that being good or bad boy didn't matter as long as you were attractive but your story really proves the common woman really does find a jerk attractive. However, definatley not everyone who goes to Church is a real Christian yet, or they may be still very early in their walk with Christ. 

 

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On 11/2/2019 at 12:58 PM, mlssufan01 said:

I can't seem to shake this notion that the majority of women, especially attractive women (even Christian women), only want the stereotypical bad boy--tattoos, motorcycle, cuss word, slept with more than a dozen women....even their religious background is not important.  Having been subjected to secular culture, it is apparent that the secular man will, in many cases, specifically pursue the goody goody Christian girl, and rejoice at all their successes...and what's worse, in most stories, they tell of a woman who pursued them first.  I should point out, that these accounts seem pretty reliable, as they do make note that not all women are like this, and have found the are deeply devout girl who would completely reject them, but for the most part, these bad boys are successful and bringing Christian women to bed.
But my problem is, why do women fall for it?  There are plenty of upstanding men in the church, and yet, the women reject the men who regularly attend church, pray, read their Bible...even the outgoing ones that share their faith.
While I don't claim to be good, I don't go out of my way to be evil...but I have noticed a few things:  When I first attended church as a non Christian...women were all over me...until I converted...then they wanted me no more...until I had an angry moment where I yelled at the entire church to be quiet as pastor was vying for people to sit down and I was annoyed....I remember very vividly that day being approached by several attractive ladies.  I also remember being pursued only when I would leave the church for a while.
Recently, a Christian girl said she wanted to befriend every single coworker of hers...I didn't agree this was necessarily a good idea, but that she should be careful...even though she was annoyed at first, she and her friend began texting me 5 times a day...when I responded nicely, asking how their day was...they backed off.
I know nobody is perfect, but at some level this makes me feel like I have to be a degenerate if I actually want to find a woman to marry.

 

Trying to give an answer to questions like this is full of danger because your dealing with individuals so you cannot give one answer that fits all the woman in the group of woman we are discussing.. So i will make some points that may be the answer for Some of the woman in question...

Young woman often want to have fun.. They want to be young and free for as long as they can.. They don't want to grow up and get married and have kids until much later. Some of them want to remain as carefree girls for as long as they can get away with it..  So when they meet a serious loving  Christian guy looking for a serious marriage life time relationship they RUN.....  Yes they want a nice christian guy to marry and have a family with,, But not yet.. While they are still young they want to have fun and bad boys are the type of guy who provides the fun and drama ( dangerous guys are exciting ) without any hint of serious love and commitment..  Bad boys are not going to put them on the spot by asking for their hand in marriage.. Bad boys will always be allusive and hard to nail down, Bad boys are a challenge.. And yes as already revealed by Willa some girls have the belief that they can change the bad boy / Fix the bad boy.. This is their dangerous delusion..

In the old days, before feminism, woman could play this game for only 2 or 3 years before the pressure to get your husband before all the good men are taken took affect. Most woman would quickly find their nice Christian husband by the time they where 25.. Most before then.. And because they where still young and fertile they where attractive as wives to those men... But now things have changed.. Because of feminism many woman can earn more money and be financially independent and they have been told to hold off motherhood and put carrier first and to enjoy themselves before the drudgery of motherhood.. So a lot of girls have extended their teenage phase right through to their mid 30's.. So the 2 or 3 years of having fun before settling down has been extended to 15 to 18 years..

So these woman arrive at their mid 30's and they finally face the need to settle down.. But they soon find out that the nice Christian men of their past who they knocked back. The ones who where willing to commit to them and put a ring on it.. Well these guys have no interest in marrying them any more..  Apart from the fact that they are of questionable fertility that men do not want to take a gamble on, they are often are carrying a lot of mental baggage from all the torrid relationships they have been involved in over the last 15 years.. Also it has been shown that a woman who has had more then one partner have a reduced ability to pair bond with a new man long term..

So the sad fact is when modern woman are at their most attractive as wife material, that is the same time they are most resistant to commitment.. But when their beauty and attractiveness has declined to the point where the bad boys no longer pay any attention to them,, That's when they think a nice Christian man is going to sweep them of their feet and put a ring on it... And that is a delusion.. 

Now before people blast me note i said at the start of my post i was only talking about ""Some"" woman.. Ok Ladies :emot-hug:

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The problem is really two problems.

A reluctance of preachers to teach biblical morality and to back it up with the secular scientific facts that show that God knew what he is doing.

2nd, the willingmess of christians, both men and women to believe the lies that secular society teach.

Here is a link to just one article talking about the stats involving happiness in marriage:-

https://winteryknight.com/2019/10/30/new-study-virgins-have-happiest-marriages-more-sex-partners-means-more-unhappiness-2/

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2 hours ago, TheAimes said:

I've debated with myself since this thread went up as to whether or not I would post, but since it continues to irk me, I figure I should.  I don't know where the OP gets his facts from but perhaps he should post links for us all to see those numbers. Let's also remember, that many of the same things that are being said about the women of the church can be said of the men in the church (if not more so). I've known many Christian men who were willing to chase an attractive woman and casually toss aside their "faith" to have a relationship with them. 

I'm also bothered by the fact that we seem to be criticizing the ones who've fallen and further trying to put them to shame for past failure. Let's not forget that Jesus bent and knelt in the dirt for the one who was caught in the act of adultery (drop your stones). If they're forgiven by Him, then we shouldn't be putting them to further shame. None of us can stand perfectly righteous outside of His blood and we all have things we've done that cause us to come up short.

And since I'm single and it's said that all single Christian women are looking for the "bad boy type" .... let me disprove that for you. We're not looking for bad boys - we're looking for REAL MEN... and sadly they seem to be a dying breed, both in the church and outside of the church. 

I personally feel like this thread does nothing to edify or build up the sisters in the body of Christ. It just demeans and paints a poor picture of them. Perhaps I'm taking it the wrong way but I just don't think we need to be further demeaning or ridiculing an entire gender of people based upon facts that haven't been proven to be true. I think we do live in a world that makes it difficult to be a "devout" Christian girl but instead of tearing them down why don't we try to build them up. I think there's more ladies out there who have their hearts set on God and pursue Him and His righteousness daily than this thread is implying. 

 

Just my thoughts.

 

 

Amen sister. There are many beautiful women on the outside, and many men who publicly drool over them; Jesus however sees and knows the heart, wherein real beauty lies, and many Christians discern that, and desire that. I have often thought about how both a brother and sister communicate and not step over the line. Jesus did it, often. He turned the woman at the well into someone who loved from the outside to one who loved from the inside out. He said he loved Mary and Martha; he saw their true beauty. Men too seek women who they can build up in the faith and make them see even greater things than they saw in themselves through the encouragement of the Lord. Men not merely see a life mate, but a sister in Christ. What is a sister in Christ? As a brother who protects his sister in his family, so is a brother in Christ a protector of his sister spiritually. As women seek real men, so men seek real women. But greater are they in Christ whose views are not worldly, but Christlike. 

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15 minutes ago, Abby-Joy said:

That is an odd statement and in no way sums up what @Willawas saying. 

I wasn't trying to sum it up, I was just making a correction in one statement that this particular sin is not limited to men.  Many times Christians have this idea that men are the only ones that struggle with lust, and that just isn't true.

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8 hours ago, TheAimes said:

I've debated with myself since this thread went up as to whether or not I would post, but since it continues to irk me, I figure I should.  I don't know where the OP gets his facts from but perhaps he should post links for us all to see those numbers. Let's also remember, that many of the same things that are being said about the women of the church can be said of the men in the church (if not more so). I've known many Christian men who were willing to chase an attractive woman and casually toss aside their "faith" to have a relationship with them. 

I'm also bothered by the fact that we seem to be criticizing the ones who've fallen and further trying to put them to shame for past failure. Let's not forget that Jesus bent and knelt in the dirt for the one who was caught in the act of adultery (drop your stones). If they're forgiven by Him, then we shouldn't be putting them to further shame. None of us can stand perfectly righteous outside of His blood and we all have things we've done that cause us to come up short.

And since I'm single and it's said that all single Christian women are looking for the "bad boy type" .... let me disprove that for you. We're not looking for bad boys - we're looking for REAL MEN... and sadly they seem to be a dying breed, both in the church and outside of the church. 

I personally feel like this thread does nothing to edify or build up the sisters in the body of Christ. It just demeans and paints a poor picture of them. Perhaps I'm taking it the wrong way but I just don't think we need to be further demeaning or ridiculing an entire gender of people based upon facts that haven't been proven to be true. I think we do live in a world that makes it difficult to be a "devout" Christian girl but instead of tearing them down why don't we try to build them up. I think there's more ladies out there who have their hearts set on God and pursue Him and His righteousness daily than this thread is implying. 

 

Just my thoughts.

 

 


I am in no way criticizing believers for their "past" failures prior to conversion.  I am specifically referring to those who profess to know Christ and claim they are devout followers, yet "willfully engage in continuous pursuit of the bad boy." 

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