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leaps

Losing hope

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13 hours ago, leaps said:

I’m beginning to lose hope in myself, although my hope is in the Lord, I believe that I’ve wronged him too many times now to be forgiven. 

Let me explain to you why:

1.) I don’t recognize the Holy Spirit in me anymore. Everything in me feels evil, evil, evil.

2.) I believe the day I lost the Holy Spirit was the same week I had a psychotic crisis that ended me up in the hospital and psych ward. 

3.) I don’t think that I just backslid but that I committed the sin of blasphemy of the Holy  Spirit. I think that I am an apostate.

4.) I feel hateful and suicidal. I’m emotionally lost, I don’t know what I’m feeling but it sure is a great deal of pain. I’m hurting - and I’m sad that I don’t feel God’s presence anymore. 

Hello, leaps! God bless you, sister! I am praying for you!

This podcast transcript from pastor John Piper on the issue of blaspheming the Holy Spirit might be a help! https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/can-a-christian-blaspheme-the-holy-spirit

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Hello, good good news. I was pretty much in the same situation before.. just keep seeking the word of God 😊 you will begin to realize that God is understanding and merciful and on your side. And the more and more you begin to understand this the more more peace and understanding and wisdom that sets place in your mind..

   Hope im explaining this well 🤔 this is how it worked for me anyway.

   I started out with long quiet nights on Bible gateway audio... And this site here....things didn't change all the way overnight did take some time but it was more and more and more and more..

    But the Word does say

   

James 4:8 King James Version (KJV)

8 Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded.

   Honestly I think you're just too focused on your sin.. but I understand , been there..

    What I would do is just pick up a routine of repenting or reading the Bible.. I myself like to do Prayer Request for example..

And for me to do Prayer requests I always repent to be safe ,so that my Prayer may be as powerful as can be.

   So it's a way I can help others and myself at the same time.

  The Bible says seek and you shall find..

   New International Version 

Jeremiah 33:3
Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.'

  A very tired but I hope something helped 👍

   Praying now

Edited by shanee
Forgot the word new in front of international
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Praying for you @leaps

Please know that the feelings you have, are lies.

Don’t go by your feelings. Go by the facts of what are in the Bible.

You haven’t committed the unforgivable sin. That’s describing those that go to their grave believing that the Holy Spirit isn’t sent from our Lord, but rather is from the enemy. This side of the grave, the people who believe that, still have hope of being saved, providing they repent and turn to Jesus as their Lord and Saviour and believe He died and rose again for their sins. But they must do that before they leave this life.

Also, a psychotic break is an illness. You had to go to hospital to be treated. The Lord knows us better than we know ourselves and He knows what state of health our minds are in.

The Lord Jesus loves you. He is always with you, right by your side. He longs to hug you and tell you how much He loves you. Even if you can’t feel Him next to you, the fact is He is.

I find it helps listening to praise music. Put some headphones on, and lie down and let the Holy Spirit enter into every area of your being whilst you listen to some praise music. Also, ask the Lord to tell you if there are any sins you need to repent for. It could be something you’ve not even thought about, and He will show you. That will also bring you closer to Him in spirit. Jesus loves you more than you could ever imagine.

God bless,

Becky.

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You're in a dark place right now, and I'm praying for you. Keep praying. The enemy wants you to give up, to hate yourself. The devil is trying to steal your joy. Don't let it. When I felt that darkness, I started listening to the word of God, asking every day for the Holy Spirit to live in me, praying, fasting, doing go for others and praying for others until this darkness went away. It will always come back to me, but I know what I have to do now. 

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You are more blessed then you know. To believe and not seen. Know that He is not a man that He should lie. So everything He has in His word promised to YOU He will do. The enemy comes to kill steal and destroy. To many times its so hard to NOT be moved by what we SEE HEAR and FEEL. Feelings are up and down and all over the place. That HOLY SPIRIT as GOD said..is with you forever. He has never once left you. To even think wonder if you have blasphemed.... you haven't. You posted for help so I take authority over the enemy that tries to use fear hate and suicidal thoughts. Its our right through Christ JESUS.. we have been given ALL power over the enemy and NOTHING shall by any means hurt you. Its written "The Peace Of God, Which Surpasses All Understanding, Will Guard Your Hearts And Minds Through Christ Jesus"

You know its so easy to back on the right path.. just ask Him to put you back on the right path. To just confess any sins you did. See its written we are in right standing with God because we simply BELIEVE in Jesus. aka RIGHTEOUSNESS!  No matter what you feel hear or see.. what HE HAS started in YOU..He will finish. And He will NEVER let the enemy have you. YOUR HIS! Rest in His word. A song playing RIGHT NOW.. called "TRUST (Cmc Remix) 7eneth Time Down" look it up.. listen to it..

Give everything to HIM! Let HIM take care of it. No matter how dark it gets HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU! All you said.. are just LIES from the enemy. Remember he can NEVER tell the truth. So :) the holy spirit has never left you.. You are so LOVED! See Hes not like man. No matter what you do.. His arms ONLY CLOSE with YOU IN THEM! SEE THIS! Relax in His arms.

The OT a verse that believe it or not was written for you also Isa 41 10 So do not fear, for I am with you;do not be dismayed, for I am your God.I will strengthen you and help you;I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. He loves you.. WE LOVE YOU..

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