BeauJangles Posted November 11, 2019 Group: Royal Member Followers: 44 Topic Count: 229 Topics Per Day: 0.06 Content Count: 10,900 Content Per Day: 2.93 Reputation: 12,145 Days Won: 68 Joined: 02/13/2014 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/14/1954 Share Posted November 11, 2019 (edited) On 11/9/2019 at 10:45 AM, Melinda12 said: Am i a terrible person and what can i do? Am i a terrible person and what can i do? My conscience is guilty but i am so tired and cannot do everything for everyone any more. I have had to choose. Melinda, you are not a terrible person. Family is priority in this instance. It's unfortunate for your friend's close relations, and I think everything possible has already been provided for on your behalf. It is understandable how the emotional feelings are towards both, and the earnest desire to assist the best you can. It would seem your parents need you now. If an agency for the advocacy of Senior Health Care exists in the UK, try consulting and documenting this with them. They should be able to take on cases of needless neglect. Surely someone has power of attorney over her personal concerns, and should have some responsibility in this instance. If not, she desperately needs it. Edited November 11, 2019 by BeauJangles Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 12, 2019 Share Posted November 12, 2019 (edited) All this business has ruined my peace of mind. I feel guilty but why should i? It is not i neglecting my parent. I make it my priority to take care of both my ailing parent's needs, run my home and take care of my husband truly well. I also need to take care of me. I was exhausted trying to take care of this friend too. But as my own parents have weakened, i have not the strength to spare or i would collapse. What does a Christian do when people take blantant advantage? I cannot and will not involve myself with this lady's needs. I have no authority - her children are responsible. If not, then social services. If she falls again or needs an operation, nobody can really help. This is what happens when adult children neglect their parents. They should be ashamed. I feel ashamed but i know there is a point where one cannot be 'out there' doing good works whilst neglecting our own duties to our own family first. Is it not wise to know where to have borders? I know our hearts should always be open - but who among us is a saint with endless energy? Nit me. Edited November 12, 2019 by Melinda12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ladypeartree Posted November 12, 2019 Group: Royal Member Followers: 37 Topic Count: 537 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 32,652 Content Per Day: 5.01 Reputation: 23,264 Days Won: 218 Joined: 06/21/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 02/23/1953 Share Posted November 12, 2019 If you do so much that you become ill there will be no one to look after you or your parents. I do understand how you feel but maybe you can speak to her doctor and alert them to her position ? Please put into writing to social services ( and send recorded delivery ) your concerns for this lady and that you are NOT in a position to help that way they are legally obliged to do something and cant say they didn't know If it is just word of mouth they will try to deny ever being told of her needs so the doctor should also be informed. After that you cannot be expected to do anything more than a neighbour would do ( maybe call once every couple of days to check she is ok and if she is not then inform social services ?) If she needs to go to hospital then she needs to use the ambulance service as she will also be seen more quickly that way Praying for you all 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justin Adams Posted November 12, 2019 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 26 Topic Count: 61 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 9,604 Content Per Day: 3.98 Reputation: 7,795 Days Won: 21 Joined: 09/11/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted November 12, 2019 Sound like a very sad situation. I would caution on one note only. GUILT is from the adversary. If God says anything it is a CONVICTION of the Spirit and is ALWAYS accompanied by a way of dealing with that. The adversary is just plain NASTY. He will try every which way to get you to feel bad and steal your peace. All smoke and mirrors. No substance to his accusations. Trust God and don't listen to the demonic murmurs. Guilt is not a God thing... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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