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Temporary1

So we're do i go from here ? Ex girlfriend had an abortion against my will

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Hello,I won't reveal my name for this although I would imagine through God completing his work in me you'll see me in heaven over the course of eternity . I am a Christian I live a commited life as a Christian and I'm 23. I'm at a great Russel group uni (equivalent to ivy League but UK) all is good right? Not quite at around the age of 19/20 I was involved in a sexual relationship with my now ex. Yes I was loving the lord in words and not deeds and her also. Despite the fact I clearly stated the want to wait till marriage I ended up in a cycle. As I drew closer to God I was stuck in sin and she didn't see Christ the same as me and wanted to continue . Despite the fact I proffesed to follow God I certainly didn't show it I was influenced by my friend who a Christian . He would often tell his wife to cover up etc all because he thought it was honering her and God. This overly religious friend my new found passion for Christ and the fact I was stressed over my mums illness drove my ex to begin to hate me in her heart despite proffesing to love me. I was living for Christ yet I couldn't make the step to cut of the relationship . So she got pregnant we found out straight away within a month she had an abortion completly against my will. I prayed , offered to be there, change my whole life nothing worked. She wanted to still live for the world and in honesty I was being a rubbish Christian claiming to be but falling into sin.  So I lost my baby. We broke up a while after . I'm now free from sex porn etc for nearly two years Christ has actually completly changed me I just had to let go of that relationship . Now people love me I bring joy to many in the church many friends. I've got into a great uni , I can see a future in ministry . However I feel like 

1. My future wife would resent me for what happend. Or possibly take me for granted because of it 

2. I'm still hurt by it despite the lord's work in all honesty it's better than it could be but worse than it should be 

3. Even if I didn't have a wife to avoid more pain and gave my life to Christ. I'm going to go to heaven by God's grace then see my child who's mum I don't even talk to.

There's a chance their mum might be in hell because atm she's not turned into a lesbian . Yes please pray for her 

 

All my other kids would have a different mum .

 

How would I even work this into a family in heaven

 

Even in heaven people are still gonna know the girl aborted my child 

 

So where's the hope of escaping This mistake of sex before marriage 

Everyone knows what David did wrong why will it be any different for me? 

 

I honestly am stuck 

 

Advice thanks 

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It is out of your hands now. Just be honest with any future lady and move on with your life. You can be of benefit to those that are 'in the fire' and it might be your job to pluck them out. Only the Lord knows that.

Just remember, our pasts are disgusting and horribly tainted. We cannot do anything about them except confess our wrong doings and repent. Then we might get the 'accusations' from our enemy, but they are just smoke and mirrors. Guilt is from the adversary. Conviction and a way of escape is from the Lord. 

You are only 'stuck' in your own head. God has put the evils of the past as far away as the east is from the west. So do not think you are a greater sinner than anyone else. Forgive yourself and move on as God would expect of His Redeemed child. A child that has the authority to be called a Son of the Most High.

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Shalom @Temporary1

Well my friend, you have got yourself into a right pickle at an early age, haven't you! 

I fell into something similar, at round about the same age, and the negative consequences greatly disrupted my life. 

Sin within me surely took the opportunity to exploit the matter as well and make me feel ashamed, unworthy, depressed and self-condemning.  In short, it stopped my walk being effective at all, as I carried this heavy burden, so I can relate with you on this matter.

1 hour ago, Temporary1 said:

1. My future wife would resent me for what happend. Or possibly take me for granted because of it 

Yeah man, I thought similar.  I thought I'd never find anyone again and resigned myself to that fact. Nevertheless, Yahweh blessed me with the most wonderful wife who is the least judgemental woman I've met.  She was instrumental in my heart getting restored and yet, I thought I'd be alone or in a "lesser" marriage because of the mistakes of the past.  Praise Yahweh!

1 hour ago, Temporary1 said:

2. I'm still hurt by it despite the lord's work in all honesty it's better than it could be but worse than it should be 

It will hurt for a while.  Longer than you think.  It truth, it never goes away completely, but rather has less of a sting.  But this is a battle wound of the heart my friend, and it will stay with you (as long as you have your memories).  BUT, this hurt or wound will shape you for the positive ultimately. You will use this pain one day to help many others, for His glory one day, being able to understand their pain.  (Hah, similar to me today with you!)  But yes it will hurt for a while and longer than you think.  Stay strong my friend and let the hurt remind you of the danger of life outside of His Will. *digital hug*

1 hour ago, Temporary1 said:

3. Even if I didn't have a wife to avoid more pain and gave my life to Christ. I'm going to go to heaven by God's grace then see my child who's mum I don't even talk to.

I see what you are saying.  It's not always easy to mend relationships with exes, and this one sounds complicated.  If you are willing to forgive and hold nothing to her charge - you do well.  But I think wisdom would say to leave the situation alone (not forcing reconciliation) if not appropriate.  It's hard to me to advise without knowing you both, so pray about the matter.  As for your child - who knows how it will be in the next life.  There is plenty to discern from Scripture and certain books of the Apocrypha, which is too much to go into now, but I think it's safe to say that your child has returned to Yahweh, safely.

1 hour ago, Temporary1 said:

There's a chance their mum might be in hell because atm she's not turned into a lesbian . Yes please pray for her 

I'm sorry what do you mean? Is the mum still alive?

1 hour ago, Temporary1 said:

How would I even work this into a family in heaven

Don't think of it as many families in heaven but rather one big family.  I will be no different to your brother and women will be like our sisters.  All will feel as close as relatives. All will be together and the magnificence of Yahweh in New Jerusalem will be so glorious that the typical family mentality, segregation and practices we know will be completely different.  All will be at peace, all will have joy and there will not be time or desire to discuss the negative things of the past.  The hurt that went before will feel like less than a bruise compared to the fun, happiness and exploration to come!

Yes, you will recognise people in New Jerusalem, but no there won't be any awkwardness or shame.  Consider how a family at odds with each other would change their attitudes suddenly if they each won £100 million and private island each.  Would they still remember the bitterness towards each other in such a moment?  Or would they celebrate together joyfully?  How much more when His Kingdom comes. 

1 hour ago, Temporary1 said:

Even in heaven people are still gonna know the girl aborted my child

My friend, if I don't judge you (and I'm a sinful man) what of the righteous in the next life?  Do you think the next life will be full of critical and judgemental people?  Surely not!  It will be filled with those who are the opposite and are loving, caring and keen to comfort you in sincerity.  There will be many there with similar stories to you and many with stories more horrific.  Albeit, your presence in the next life is all people need to see to know "He is okay, my God approves of him".  I mean even I, as a sinful man, see that if you truly love the Messiah and seek to follow him then you're alright with me!  I'll quite happily sit next to you at the Wedding Feast of the Lamb!  

1 hour ago, Temporary1 said:

So where's the hope of escaping This mistake of sex before marriage

True.  However, there is escape from the consequences of the sin, in our Messiah.  Praise Yahweh.

1 hour ago, Temporary1 said:

Everyone knows what David did wrong why will it be any different for me? 

Not quite.  The severity of David's sin was because of who he was and what he knew.  Here was man with the nation's responsibility upon his shoulders and he had conversed directly with Yahweh.  He knew better but still was tempted enough to sin.  But worse than taking Uriah's wife was indirectly taking his life with scheming. 

Man, I don't want it to sound like I'm discrediting David, because I love him.  But I'm trying to convey the differences between you and him.  To whom much is given, much is expected.    Unless I'm mistaken, you neither lead a nation, represented Yahweh to the nations or conversed with Him directly, right? :) 

----

I hope something within my thoughts brings you peace my friend.  It's good you are sober to the severity of your sins in the past.  BUT be careful that they do not become the main focus of your attention.  Otherwise, without realising it, your past can become your God - as you indirectly make decisions based upon it, fear it and think it will overtake you in the future.

You're alright.  If you have repented sincerely, learned from your lessons and seek His will in your life, then you're alright.  Learn to forgive yourself as well as those you have been in conflict with, and move on humbly.

Look forward and follow His footprints and not back to judge your steps.

Love & Shalom

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This life is the most hell a Christian will ever know...

...and at the same time the most heaven an unbeliever will ever know.

 

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