Tigger56 Posted December 1, 2019 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 679 Topics Per Day: 0.36 Content Count: 1,327 Content Per Day: 0.71 Reputation: 992 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/04/2019 Status: Offline Share Posted December 1, 2019 My wife and I have been happily married for almost 39 years. We actually only dated for around 3 months before getting married. (her dad didn't approve of me, I would have preferred to have the dad's blessings but he had someone else in mind for her). My dad and mom only dated for one week before they were married (He was in the Navy and was about to leave back to California, so she married him and went with him). They have been happily married for 65 years now. So I know that longevity of dating isn't always the key, though it can be important. I know I have been greatly blessed and I also know not all have happy marriages, but I am interested if you have any keys or lessons you have learned and applied in marriage. When my wife and I were married we lived close to our families which can be good and bad for a couple starting out, but it came in to play in three promises we made to each other prior to our marriage. 1. We promised to keep God center in our lives. 2. We promised not to go running to family with problems until we tried to work it out ourselves. (we weren't opposed to wisdom but didn't want to be seeking our families to be taking sides, etc...). 3. We promised not to go to bed angry. Those three promises were three simple things that built the foundation to our love for each other and our commitment to each other. Also I would love to hear how you keep romance in your marriages. I just think the different inputs and ideas may help others in this forum and Hey, maybe I will get some good ideas! Here are a few things I do... I still have date nights with my wife or a date day where we just go out on a day trip. Every morning I set out her coffee cup and on top of the cup is a love note with one small chocolate kiss (she likes the almonds one best). I don't want a single day to go by without saying, "I love you" numerous times and its a way to start the day. (She has saved every note ... she has eaten all of the kisses). 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
other one Posted December 1, 2019 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 29 Topic Count: 596 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 56,043 Content Per Day: 7.56 Reputation: 27,785 Days Won: 271 Joined: 12/29/2003 Status: Offline Share Posted December 1, 2019 all day long in everything one does should show her that she is the most important thing in one's life besides the Lord. I have personally found that it isn't something that someone can do. but what is done "ALL" the time. It's the little things all day long that matter. We've been married for almost 50 years now and I've tried to be that way for at least 2/3rds of the time.... especially the last 35 years.. She has M.S. and I let her know every day that I'm here for her and always will be till the Lord takes me home... I think she prays for her to go first and it would probably be best if he did let her go first even though it would break my heart.... but better mine get broke rather than hers.... My advice to young people thinking of getting married is to go to a "Weekend to Remember" seminar to learn how Jesus expects couples to treat each other... that is the important thing about long marriages..... and for the males one has to take in the fact that we are to love our wives like Jesus loved the church...… so "What Would Jesus DO" Well he let a group of people beat him half to death then hang him on a cross to die..... that's a pretty serious commitment to make to a woman. But if a male lives that commitment, what woman would not be submissive to him.... and the good thing about it is that there is very little chance that anyone will demand that kind of a sacrifice to her...… but there are sacrifices.... and if one is not willing to make them happily then they should not get married at all. Marriage is not a competition... it's not even a 50/50 thing... it's taking care of each other all the time on all things.... but males should always do what is best for the female and the relationship (not necessarily what she wants). 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ReneeIW Posted December 1, 2019 Group: Senior Member Followers: 8 Topic Count: 42 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 944 Content Per Day: 0.54 Reputation: 780 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/06/2019 Status: Offline Share Posted December 1, 2019 The only promise that was made to me came 18 years after marriage. He promised to stop flirting with other women in front of me(and that only happened because I was asked out by someone else). We go on lots of road trips and that allows for bonding. And he is a great provider and unbelievable father. what keeps my marriage healthy is acceptance. We accept the other is not perfect and we encourage each other to do better; hopefully for Christ’s sake. I would have loved to have had an extended family butting their noses in my business-I needed the support. So, each marriage is different. The excellent thing about being married is it has helped me get over my fear of death. It has also confirmed that God still performs miracles because I never thought we would last this long and I couldn’t imagine my life without my husband. I also got engaged 3 months after we met. Married 20 years 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neighbor Posted December 1, 2019 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 18 Topic Count: 950 Topics Per Day: 0.35 Content Count: 13,525 Content Per Day: 5.02 Reputation: 9,025 Days Won: 6 Joined: 12/04/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/03/1885 Share Posted December 1, 2019 No promises made, none broken. Lived together till death did part us after near half a century had passed. Now on a second marriage, no promises made, none needed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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