Suicide. I am going to kill myself. Pray for my family

[JohnD]

Glad you chose life.

It will benefit you most in you walk with Christ

to look to him for perfection. Sadly we who believe in 

him are not always the best representatives of him, 

sometimes (as in your case) some can rally around

one who is hurting. I am glad we did.

But if Christianity itself is confusing, weird, uneventful,

or like God isn't listening...

you'll find that patience with God is a very rewarding

thing (not only in blessings but in reassurance and 

validation / confirmation ours is a faith founded on facts).

And for pete sake, don't judge Christianity on the way Christians act.

You will only be disappointed.

Glad you were helped this time.

Great photo, btw.

I was young like that once

over 40 years ago.

Old timer JohnD signing off.

 

[Wayne222]

55 minutes ago, Kenzie said:

@existential mabel  @DustyRoad @lovethelord @ayin jade @Cletus @Isaiah53NIV @TheAimes @other one @Omegaman 3.0 @Revlori @Galleon @Wayne222 @JustPassingThrough @AnOrangeCat @JohnD  @Amanda Frances @Sonshine @marvelloustime @BeauJangles @Billiards Ball @B3L13v3R @johnthebaptist @shanee @onedirection @PromisesPromises! 

 

Hello, I just want to say thank you. I don’t really know what else to say right now. Since that post, the days following were not good. And I was extremely,  extremely close to actually killing myself. Right now I don’t really know how I feel about my God, I feel uncomfortable speaking of Christianity, I believe but I feel distant... What I am trying to say is that there is something there. I cannot describe in words how much I am thankful for all of you who prayed for me and cared and messaged me. For real, my own parents and siblings never reached out to me during those couple of days, despite me isolating myself in my room and constant crying. They knew I was “sad”, they could hear, but didn’t care. No one has ever offered kind words like that to me like all of You did. Im sorry for not responding, I did not think anyone would care about this post. So when I began to see the replies, I did not know what to do. I am not used to people “caring”. I also just did not have the strength in me yet. Nor did I think I would still be “here”. I can’t confide in my parents. I think that has resulted in a build up of negative emotions and habits (self harm). So thank you all for letting me confide in you. I think that this forum has been what is holding on to my “faith” or belief. I  feel something genuine and true here. At church or at school and work , where the people claim Christianity, something feels off. Maybe it is me, or maybe it is something else, or maybe I am actually seeing what the world is like. Thank you again. I truly am not used to people caring for me. I just need to re-emphasize that because I am lost at words that you people care and prayed for me. I have had time to reflect, and I have not talked to God about this, because I feel awkward and idk... but I feel encouraged from all of you, so I will re-evaluate my faith and try to believe in God and follow him. So thank you again. Many of you have replied telling me to hang on because of senior year. And yes, that is another thing that gives me hope. I just need a new start, fresh air and I think college will help me. Here is my senior picture. https://pin.it/ynr6xlwbwvhcrs . I actually like it. And I want to say thanks to all who messaged me and prayed again. I really want to say thank you to @PromisesPromises! because she has listened to all my rants about my problems within the last year and a half. She has gave me great advice and has prayed for me. Thank you so much. I love you all.

Thank our lord you are ok. I am sure he sent you to worthy. It says in scripture how precious are the saints who die. A bird cannot die without God knowing. God does not want you to die. He wants you to live a full good life in christ. That is why Jesus said I have come to give them life and that abundant.  I hope you keep trusting in Jesus christ who is ready and able to work in you. One thing even if at times you cannot see that others are not caring for you like you need. Trust completely that God our father does he will never leave you or turn from you. He is real and is the light of our lives. We have a father and a God is is faithful. It says he who began a good work in you will complete it. Thanks for writing back and letting us know how you are. Praying christ works in you more and more.

[F_Ivan]

Kenzie please don't kill yourself. Don't listen to Satan's lies of condemnation, despair and anxiety. Killing yourself would be doing exactly what he wants to do. There is only one enemy to mankind and its not other humans, its Satan and his legion of demons and impure spirits blinding, decieving and misguiding others with their LIES. I will be praying for you

[Coliseum]

1 hour ago, Kenzie said:

@existential mabel  @DustyRoad @lovethelord @ayin jade @Cletus @Isaiah53NIV @TheAimes @other one @Omegaman 3.0 @Revlori @Galleon @Wayne222 @JustPassingThrough @AnOrangeCat @JohnD  @Amanda Frances @Sonshine @marvelloustime @BeauJangles @Billiards Ball @B3L13v3R @johnthebaptist @shanee @onedirection @PromisesPromises! 

 

Hello, I just want to say thank you. I don’t really know what else to say right now. Since that post, the days following were not good. And I was extremely,  extremely close to actually killing myself. Right now I don’t really know how I feel about my God, I feel uncomfortable speaking of Christianity, I believe but I feel distant... What I am trying to say is that there is something there. I cannot describe in words how much I am thankful for all of you who prayed for me and cared and messaged me. For real, my own parents and siblings never reached out to me during those couple of days, despite me isolating myself in my room and constant crying. They knew I was “sad”, they could hear, but didn’t care. No one has ever offered kind words like that to me like all of You did. Im sorry for not responding, I did not think anyone would care about this post. So when I began to see the replies, I did not know what to do. I am not used to people “caring”. I also just did not have the strength in me yet. Nor did I think I would still be “here”. I can’t confide in my parents. I think that has resulted in a build up of negative emotions and habits (self harm). So thank you all for letting me confide in you. I think that this forum has been what is holding on to my “faith” or belief. I  feel something genuine and true here. At church or at school and work , where the people claim Christianity, something feels off. Maybe it is me, or maybe it is something else, or maybe I am actually seeing what the world is like. Thank you again. I truly am not used to people caring for me. I just need to re-emphasize that because I am lost at words that you people care and prayed for me. I have had time to reflect, and I have not talked to God about this, because I feel awkward and idk... but I feel encouraged from all of you, so I will re-evaluate my faith and try to believe in God and follow him. So thank you again. Many of you have replied telling me to hang on because of senior year. And yes, that is another thing that gives me hope. I just need a new start, fresh air and I think college will help me. Here is my senior picture. https://pin.it/ynr6xlwbwvhcrs . I actually like it. And I want to say thanks to all who messaged me and prayed again. I really want to say thank you to @PromisesPromises! because she has listened to all my rants about my problems within the last year and a half. She has gave me great advice and has prayed for me. Thank you so much. I love you all.

Hi Kenzie.

I have not written before now. I had not seen your posts. But immediately I noticed something that I found wonderfully other-centered, instead of self-centered, about you. You addressed each person in your reply. That took time; you became a gift to each of us by doing that. How you could ever believe you do not have something beautiful to share is beyond me. But here is something I remembered when I saw all those names you gave thanks to. It is in the Book of 3 John. One sentence---the very last sentence--- but listen to how powerful it is: 

3 John 1:14 (NIV)
14  I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face. Peace to you. The friends here send their greetings. Greet the friends there by name. 

Bet you didn't know how powerful that is. I try to greet my brothers and sisters by name---usually one at a time---but you took the time to greet them all. That, sister, says a great deal about you. btw, you are not here by accident. You are here because God, who loves you, wanted you to be here. With God, there are no accidents! Cheerleading for you Kenzie.
 

[preciouspearl]

hello kenzie, thinking of you. i have been where you are

this time of year can be difficult

im happy that you are still with us <3

[BK1110]

God bless you, sweet sister Kenzie! You are in my thoughts and prayers!

[other one]

Kenzie,   I asked the Lord this morning if he would give me some words that would make you feel better about yourself and maybe the world....   I waited for a bit and nothing much was coming....   Then sort  out of nowhere a thought so strong it almost had to come from God....       It was and I quote, "Don't worry about it... Kenzie is mine and I've got it under control"

That doesn't happen to me very often and I just wanted to share it with you..

[Revlori]

You are welcome, we really do consider you our family here. You are a beautiful young sister with a great future filled with God's goodness. I'm thankful that we are getting to know each other, building a friendship and ya know you are helping us as well. As you face very real pain from being your young age, we are reminded of those times in our lives and are made aware of the issues so many young people face. This opens new doors for us to reach many others by understanding what your going through and facing each day. By your openness and honesty, by trusting us and reaching out to us, you are really helping many people. Thank you, you are a blessing. God has mighty big plans for you kenzie, you are truly an inspiration. 

God bless ?

[Jubilea]

So glad to see you here. I've been praying for you.

[onedirection]

@Kenzie wow, what a triumph! You have a lot of replies here too. I will offer my own perspective, I hope you may find it helpful.

"What I am trying to say is that there is something there"
Jesus will show up for you

"They knew I was “sad”, they could hear, but didn’t care."
This is a lie from the evil one, do not believe it. How can a parent not care for their own child? You will understand this one day when you are a mother.

"I also just did not have the strength in me yet."
This is also a lie, you DO have the strength

"I can’t confide in my parents."
Probably also a lie. God designed parents and your parents are here to support you, although they may fail at times, parents are people too. Let us pray for your parents that they are guided to support you in the way you need. There have been times when I have prayed for God to fulfill a need that I had through my spouse, and He did. You can take the same approach for your parents.

"and I have not talked to God about this"
You have. Maybe not in a direct aloud way, but you have. He sees you. He knows your needs.