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Suicide. I am going to kill myself. Pray for my family


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@Kenzie My heart smiled reading your reply this morning! So glad that you're still here with us! Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, sister. I know some days are harder than others but if you're here on this earth the Father has a purpose for you. The devil is good at trying to convince us that we're worthless or that those near us don't care; he's also good at trying to destroy us. Don't listen to his lies, listen to the promises of God. I know you said you don't feel very close to God right now but I promise He is right there next to you and more often than not He is holding you, you're His beloved daughter after all. 

 We're ALWAYS here for you. Even if you just need to vent or cut up or ramble about nothingness! We'll be your family, your friends, your church, etc. We love ya, girl. :bighug2:  :emot-hug:

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13 hours ago, Kenzie said:

@existential mabel  @DustyRoad @lovethelord @ayin jade @Cletus @Isaiah53NIV @TheAimes @other one @Omegaman 3.0 @Revlori @Galleon @Wayne222 @JustPassingThrough @AnOrangeCat @JohnD  @Amanda Frances @Sonshine @marvelloustime @BeauJangles @Billiards Ball @B3L13v3R @johnthebaptist @shanee @onedirection @PromisesPromises! 

 

Hello, I just want to say thank you. I don’t really know what else to say right now. Since that post, the days following were not good. And I was extremely,  extremely close to actually killing myself. Right now I don’t really know how I feel about my God, I feel uncomfortable speaking of Christianity, I believe but I feel distant... What I am trying to say is that there is something there. I cannot describe in words how much I am thankful for all of you who prayed for me and cared and messaged me. For real, my own parents and siblings never reached out to me during those couple of days, despite me isolating myself in my room and constant crying. They knew I was “sad”, they could hear, but didn’t care. No one has ever offered kind words like that to me like all of You did. Im sorry for not responding, I did not think anyone would care about this post. So when I began to see the replies, I did not know what to do. I am not used to people “caring”. I also just did not have the strength in me yet. Nor did I think I would still be “here”. I can’t confide in my parents. I think that has resulted in a build up of negative emotions and habits (self harm). So thank you all for letting me confide in you. I think that this forum has been what is holding on to my “faith” or belief. I  feel something genuine and true here. At church or at school and work , where the people claim Christianity, something feels off. Maybe it is me, or maybe it is something else, or maybe I am actually seeing what the world is like. Thank you again. I truly am not used to people caring for me. I just need to re-emphasize that because I am lost at words that you people care and prayed for me. I have had time to reflect, and I have not talked to God about this, because I feel awkward and idk... but I feel encouraged from all of you, so I will re-evaluate my faith and try to believe in God and follow him. So thank you again. Many of you have replied telling me to hang on because of senior year. And yes, that is another thing that gives me hope. I just need a new start, fresh air and I think college will help me. Here is my senior picture. https://pin.it/ynr6xlwbwvhcrs . I actually like it. And I want to say thanks to all who messaged me and prayed again. I really want to say thank you to @PromisesPromises! because she has listened to all my rants about my problems within the last year and a half. She has gave me great advice and has prayed for me. Thank you so much. I love you all.

It seems clear that family is not being constructive in your life, and that you need affirmation in person from trained Christian counselors. Run, don't walk, to an evangelical church and tell them you need counseling!!

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i am so glad that you are here still.  i think maybe just focusing on having a relationship with Jesus might be the way forward. you sound vulnerable at the moment. so take it very steady.

family what can i say...they probably just dont know how to respond and have chosen not to respond as a result. they certainly wouldnt want to worsen your situation.


just keep on keeping on is all you can do at the moment. our feelings can misguide us and send us in the opposite direction.

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if you cant confide in your parents you can confide in the Lord or pray for someone to talk to spiritual you can trust.

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I’m just now seeing this. I saw that you posted another thread about”colorism,” so I’m glad you changed your mind! When I read your other thread, I had no idea you had been contemplating suicide. You are a beautiful girl with your whole life ahead of you. Faith is hard but worth the fight. And I hope when you finish your senior year you can go away to college and surround yourself with mentors and people who inspire you.❤️

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  • 6 months later...

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On 12/10/2019 at 11:43 PM, Kenzie said:

Hi. I have not been on here in a while. But I hope all of you are well. My reason for posting this is, I hope you will pray for my family. When i go, I don’t want them to feel much pain for me, but I just don’t believe I could get better through people praying for me. So I already have a plan.  I just ask for you guys to pray for them. There are many people on here who have prayed for me so thank you. Maybe this is an outcry for something idk, but I decided that it will not get better for me. My social anxiety has DESTROYED my life. My faith is non existent. I am just a lonely HS senior whose tried God and the church. But I don’t want to go into detail about my life, there’s too much. There are probably people out there who are much worse, but they are stronger than me. Farewell.

You have the power to change whatever is troubling you in your life, dont let the devil fool you into thinking you cant and to end your life.

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