Living together before marriage

[LonerAndy]

On 1/22/2020 at 8:01 AM, _arandanos182 said:

Hi everyone. there's  something that's been on my mind the past few months and i need some advice. I will tell you my story:

I'm a 27 years old woman from Venezuela. I was born and raised in a Christian family. I went to church since I was a baby and during my teenage years I was a musician at church. I also accepted Jesus as my only Lord and Saviour at a very young age. I was always a very good kid and was very committed to church and God. When I was about 18 stopped going to church because it started getting boring for me. I never stopped believing. I was also not mad at God or anything. I was just too lazy and didn't feel like going to church. I would still pray and have a relationship with God. I know everything I am, have and achieve is because of his love and grace.

3 years ago my mom passed away. I'm only child and haven't spoke to my dad in many years (we were never close). So after my mom passed away I started behaving bad, because I felt lost and with no direction and I felt I had no one to make proud or disappoint, so I started also having sex. Yes, I was a virgin until I was 25 and wanted to wait until marriage but it didn't happen. I always thought I would feel very bad and disappointed of myself If I had sex before marriage, but tbh what was on my mind the moment i did it was "I can't believe I've been missing this all these years" so I kept doing it (and I'm not proud of it). 

In the other hand... My country has been going through a extremely bad economical crisis so I had to leave. It was always my wish to live in another country (Germany to be precise) and I finally had the chance and God made it possible. Only he knows how much I wanted this. So I moved in June 2018 to Germany as an Au Pair. I was living with an amazing Baptist family and was attending church again and I even got baptised, but I still was living in sexual sin. At the end of the year I met an amazing non Christian guy who became my boyfriend and who is my biggest support and who I plan to marry in the future. I can't explain how much i love him and how grateful I am for everything he has done for me (he even attended my baptism).

In june 2019 my au pair year ended and I had to move out and started working as a volunteer. Soo... Here comes the problem: my visa will expire soon, right now I have my own apartment because my employer is paying for it. My boyfriend lives in another state far away (we dont see each other often) and he wants us to move together when my visa expires, and tbh i don't have anywhere else to live. Germany is an extremely bureaucratic country and for me as a foreigner everything is very difficult. He needs to be my sponsor in order for me to stay here. We for sure want to get married but right now it's impossible, even to get married I have to travel to my country and apply for a visa in there, so that's a lot of money that we cannot spend right now.

I don't know what to do. I know for sure as a Christian, that living together is not okay, but I don't think I have another choice. Without his support I would be already back in my country having a very bad time. Going back to my country and staying there is not an option. I  was having a hard time there already before comimg here and i also won't be able to help my family (which me and my boyfriend do often from here).

I'm a doctor there btw, and I know for a fact that I could not even survive with my salary. I won't give details about the situation there, but I assure you is way more worse than you think. That being said, you might ask yourself why I'm not working as a doctor in germany. The answer is of course bureaucracy. My degree is not recognised here yet. It can be of course, but it's a long process and I'm working on it. For this I need time+economical support, and that's something my boyfriend can give me.

I would appreciate some advices and opinions. Feel free to ask anything too

God bless you all 

With all things in life, the question is are you going to follow G-d even when it does not feel good.... or are you going to sin against G-d, because it feels good and life is easier?

That's the bottom line.  You have to choose whether you are going to follow G-d, or what feels good.  Living with someone you are not married to, in a romantic relationship, feels good.  No denying that.

But are you going to follow G-d, or follow what feels good?

Do you have faith in G-d?  Then follow him, and obey what is right.

Proverbs 14:12 "There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death."

You can either do life your way, or you can do life G-d's way.  But you can't do both. 

[Abrielle]

@_arandanos182

 

[Prycejosh1987]

On 1/22/2020 at 1:01 PM, _arandanos182 said:

I was living with an amazing Baptist family and was attending church again and I even got baptised, but I still was living in sexual sin. At the end of the year I met an amazing non Christian guy who became my boyfriend and who is my biggest support and who I plan to marry in the future. I can't explain how much i love him and how grateful I am for everything he has done for me (he even attended my baptism).

I think you should get married first, if he is the one then marry him before you have sex, because then things are set in stone.

[BeauJangles]

Living together before marriage

Not an option. 

Just a mention. If you wish to address the opster, she left WCF two days following her membership here. 

 _arandanos182

Joined: January 22, 2020

Last visited: January 24, 2020

Carry on the conversation for the purposes of discussing the issue. God bless.