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I've been going to a good Bible-preaching church for over a year now, and have recieved much growing in the Word through our pastor's messages and have loved the worship very much.

Trouble is (1) am discovering that 95% of the members are related to each other, so it's a tight-knit family church (about 100 members) and not being related by blood, we are feeling like outsiders much of the time.

(2) The church has nothing going on besides the Sunday morning and Wednesday night services.  I am beginning to crave a Bible study or some kind of fellowship, outreach, ministry, church picnic or SOMETHING!  The pastor feels that programs distract from the true purpose of the church, to worship the Lord.

Having no avenue for fellowship (that's why I am addicted to Worthyboards!) after 15 months I don't even know most of the people's names, and have never had a conversation with the pastor, he's never shown any real interest in our family.  I think as a clan, they probably do a lot together but us unrelated people aren't part of that.  I've recently had my feelings confirmed by a couple of the other 'unrelated' members, who share the same concerns.

In my small town, there aren't a lot of options for spirit-filled churches so I'd have to drive nearly an hour to get to another, but am getting restless and considering visiting one I am feeling drawn to.

It tends to bring up questions about our tithes, too, when they are not supporting any programs or ministries in our church.  I know our church supports Kenneth Copeland, Kenneth Hagin and a missionary couple in Africa, and payroll for the church staff.  I am desiring to support oppressed and downtrodden people with my tithes or some kind of uplifting fellowship.  

Is this part of the Christian walk, 'outgrowing' a church and at what point are you breaking a commitment ie.'membership"?

Maybe this is a lot of questions.  Just seeing what kind of opinions and advice and insights all you Worthy people could throw at me.  Thanks.

 :???:  :???:  :???:

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OneAccord

    I come from a very small town also...although luckly there is a church in the town next to mine..(about 8 miles away) that is absolutely huge...they have services on wednesday at 5.....saturday at 5 and 7....sunday at 9, 11, 1.

    I cannot imagine going to church that does not offer fellowship activities....mine has everything from golf clubs to classes you can take...ie financial planning...prayer classes...bible studies and so on...but it has around 1600 people come through on Satuday night services alone.

    You have made me think about the size though...I have had people tell me how could I go to a church so huge and that there is no personal relationship there...but believe it or not there is...I have made many friends...and the pastor and his wife always walk around and visit with everyone before services....they may not remember our name but they do remember faces.

    I would say if you aren't getting the fellowship you need...then maybe it is time to move on.  I don't know what I would have done without my churches programs and activities.

we also have a missionary outing about 3-4 times a year at our church where members of the congregation can volunteer to go along and help...we have one coming up going to mexico to help build an orphanage.

    It sounds like your church has a click going...I don't mean to sound judgemental...but thats what it sounds like.

    Start looking and praying you will get  your answer!

Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

   Isaiah 30:21

Blessing to you in your Quest.

Angel H.

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OneAccord,

Is your church a prosperity teaching church? Sounds like it because they support Kenneth Copeland and Kenneth Hagin ,I believe they lead people astray and focus on the wrong things.

You could try some different churches and you migh find another one you like and meet some new people,

Angels

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I guess where I have my trouble is I'm a real loyal person so I feel like by visiting other churches I'm sort of having an affair or something, and that leaving will be like a divorce....but lately I'm getting jealous when I hear about what other churches might be like.........

The prosperity teaching is not pushed too hard, and I already have my own convictions about it anyway.

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Don't feel guilty about trying different churchs. I have gone to many and it took many to find the one I like. I never had the community that I have now at the other ones. Keep looking.

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I guess where I have my trouble is I'm a real loyal person so I feel like by visiting other churches I'm sort of having an affair or something, and that leaving will be like a divorce....but lately I'm getting jealous when I hear about what other churches might be like.........

I know this feeling all too well.

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  • 16 years later...

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If there other people who want a bible study or other form of fellowship. Start having it.

Invite a couple over for Sunday dinner, organise a saterday family walk/picnic invite everybody.

Organise a mens breakfast for nonchristian men to be invited to for breackfast, chat and aChristian message.

Go tracting with other like minded people.

Talk to the minister about your plans, you want him to delivery the talks at any outreach function.

There is no biblical command that says one Must give only to the local church.

Give what you think is right and give the rest where you think it should go.

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  • 11 months later...

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On 11/11/2002 at 3:24 PM, OneAccord said:

Trouble is (1) am discovering that 95% of the members are related to each other, so it's a tight-knit family church (about 100 members) and not being related by blood, we are feeling like outsiders much of the time.

(2) The church has nothing going on besides the Sunday morning and Wednesday night services.  I am beginning to crave a Bible study or some kind of fellowship, outreach, ministry, church picnic or SOMETHING!  The pastor feels that programs distract from the true purpose of the church, to worship the Lord.

That is a good thing that the members are related. Unity in families is powerful. I compare it to recieving the holy spirit himself. If you have concerns, which sound good by the way address them to your pastor. All churches are meant to grow and have different people in them. Churches are spiritual gyms.

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