Baz Posted December 19, 2005 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 11 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 89 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/28/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/07/1988 Share Posted December 19, 2005 I met a Christian girl (Tawny) online and we later discovered we were childhood friends. I invited her to come to my church's Christmas assembly, so we could meet and see if we wanna date someday. She did come to the assembly last night and she's a great person...I'm really not attracted to her though...that's just the way it is. So, I decided I'll remain friends with her (obviously), but I don't want to date her. Now, here's the problem: she brought her [Christian] friend (Sarah) to the assembly and I find HER attractive. Should I ask Tawny for Sarah's e-mail or would that be asking for trouble? Here's what happened today: I forgot Sarah's name, so I asked Tawny, "what's your friend's name?" and she replied, "Sarah...do you have a crush on her?...She's pretty"...obviously, I don't have a crush on her (since I don't know her), but I REALLY DO find her pretty and she seemed to be a nice person. I replied, "I didn't say that..." PLEASE HELP. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avodah Posted December 19, 2005 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 49 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 812 Content Per Day: 0.12 Reputation: 4 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/01/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 06/15/1961 Share Posted December 19, 2005 Are you looking on the heart or just the physical? I would say be honest with her, but I would also encourage you to get to know both the girls. Don't make a snap decision just because one is pretty. Beauty is only skin deep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bolts Posted December 19, 2005 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 50 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 963 Content Per Day: 0.14 Reputation: 4 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/27/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/10/1963 Share Posted December 19, 2005 I would also encourage you to get to know both the girls. Don't make a snap decision just because one is pretty. Beauty is only skin deep. Baz, If your looking for a wife, look 60 or so yrs ahead from now. Your life in Christ also takes you into an eternal relationship. Forever, is a very very long time. Like Avodah wrote, get to know both girls. Take it slow and don't make snap decisions. Perhaps you could include one of your friends and all go out together. You need to look for a relationship that is going to be strong, honest and committed to the Lord. We get tested in trials to see what we are really made of. Some relationships can't stand up to these trials - take it slow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baz Posted December 19, 2005 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 11 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 89 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/28/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/07/1988 Author Share Posted December 19, 2005 Look: Tawny is a great person (I've already gotten to know her), but looks are what we see first and I'm just not attracted to her. I don't JUST go for looks, but I'm not gonna date someone if I'm not even attracted to them. I WILL remain friends with her, no matter what. I thank you for your replies, but you didn't answer my question: should I ask Tawny for Sarah's e-mail or is that asking for trouble? I'm actually attracted to Sarah and she's Christian, so I'd LIKE to get to know her more, but the only way to do that is through Tawny 'cause she's the only one that I know who knows Sarah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baz Posted December 20, 2005 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 11 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 89 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/28/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/07/1988 Author Share Posted December 20, 2005 *Waits for replies* Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezekielsdreams Posted December 20, 2005 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 9 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 31 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/14/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted December 20, 2005 Go for it. you won't do her any favors pretending that you like her, romanticly of course. She has probly aready figured this out the women are usally a few steps ahead of us. be good and before you get to serious go over with god just how far is right for you to go. Later Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Avodah Posted December 20, 2005 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 49 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 812 Content Per Day: 0.12 Reputation: 4 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/01/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 06/15/1961 Share Posted December 20, 2005 I would say be honest with her hmmm...maybe I didn't make myself clear This means yes, ask her for Sarah's email address. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
felix Posted December 20, 2005 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 22 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 397 Content Per Day: 0.06 Reputation: 9 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/24/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted December 20, 2005 Baz. I would not focus on trying to date Sarah or any girl for that matter first...rather you should first become friends. If your motive is to date Sarah, I think that may cause some trouble with Tawny. But more importantly, we should "Flee from youthful lusts, and pursue faith, peace, love and righteousness with those who call on the Name of the Lord out of a pure heart" (2 Timothy 2:22). The thing about dating is that it encourages "youthful lusts" whereas friendship would encourage the latter. However, if you have the motive to first become friends then I don't think there will be a problem with Tawny. After becoming friends with Sarah I think that later you can start dating with no problems. Just a suggestion but above all just ask for God's leading. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baz Posted December 22, 2005 Group: Junior Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 11 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 89 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/28/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/07/1988 Author Share Posted December 22, 2005 Baz. I would not focus on trying to date Sarah or any girl for that matter first...rather you should first become friends. If your motive is to date Sarah, I think that may cause some trouble with Tawny. But more importantly, we should "Flee from youthful lusts, and pursue faith, peace, love and righteousness with those who call on the Name of the Lord out of a pure heart" (2 Timothy 2:22). The thing about dating is that it encourages "youthful lusts" whereas friendship would encourage the latter. However, if you have the motive to first become friends then I don't think there will be a problem with Tawny. After becoming friends with Sarah I think that later you can start dating with no problems. Just a suggestion but above all just ask for God's leading. Yes, I always plan on becoming friends first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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