RGR Posted June 2, 2006 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 512 Topics Per Day: 0.07 Content Count: 8,601 Content Per Day: 1.13 Reputation: 125 Days Won: 2 Joined: 07/16/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/04/1973 Share Posted June 2, 2006 If one were in a larger church, perhaps they could be used in some sort of a special ministry counseling those who are in the same situation? And just as a sidenote, please understand that not all people who divorce are doing so because they've found someone else, etc.; there are legitimate reasons! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Times Posted June 3, 2006 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 27 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 157 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/23/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/13/1946 Share Posted June 3, 2006 I worded this thread carefully...The question is not a discussion about divorce or avoiding divorce but one about a divorce has happened, what can I do in the life of the church with my new marital status? So no matter how you feel about divorce, it is a reality in every church and every denomination. What can these people look forward to doing with their giftedness and new painful experiences? Their marital status should have nothing to do with their service in the church. I am aware that there are those who use the verses in Timothy and Titus that "...an elder should be the husband of one wife" to mean that a pastor should not be divorced. But that is a gross misinterpretation. What it means is that in that day when polygamy was a common practice (even among some who became Christians) the church leader should have only one wife. But there are still those in the Church who try to make second class citizens out of divorced people. AMEN Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tah Posted June 3, 2006 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 105 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 3,131 Content Per Day: 0.45 Reputation: 126 Days Won: 1 Joined: 05/12/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted June 3, 2006 So you are saying that is does not matter if a couple has been married and divorced 4 times looking for the right person? I personally think it matters a lot as they are going to be examples to others and to me that is not a very good example..!! I am not against divorced folks serving but the circumstances of their divorce are very important to take into consideration before they take a place in service.. I have a friend who is a Pastor and his wife ran off and left him hating him and his way of life.. He waited many years on her but she would never let him have a divorce.. He finally got one after nearly 10 years.....remarried a couple of years later and is a Pastor now.. No problem here with this situation... Had he ran off as she did it may have been a different situation...and a different outcome in his ability to continue be a Pastor.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jckduboise Posted June 3, 2006 Share Posted June 3, 2006 Just as Jesus accepted the tax collector so the church should except the divorced. Divorce is painful, to be ostrosized because of the it is even more painful..to be taken from a position in the church because of divorce is judgement.."let he who has not sinned cast the first stone" The problem with most marriages today is that God is not invited to the wedding feast. He cannot bless a marriage if He is not allowed to attend the wedding....I listened to this by Pastor Greg Laurie and found that what he said rings true... But by the Grace of God forgiveness and healing can be a part of a marriage about to break or does break...God can do anything..forgiveness is his biggest miracle...why not let God be the judge of those who divorce and we just continue to love them inspite of themselves.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tah Posted June 3, 2006 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 105 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 3,131 Content Per Day: 0.45 Reputation: 126 Days Won: 1 Joined: 05/12/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted June 3, 2006 Loving someone who is divorced is not the issue.. they are loved just like all of us are loved.. we all have problems and because of some of those specific problems some of us should not be in such a place of service for others to look to as examples.. I am saying if they show themselves to lack the ability to see that divorcing over and over because they are not happy with their spouse they should not be given a place of service until they get their problems solved.... How do you see that as unreasonable? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
apothanein kerdos Posted June 3, 2006 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 331 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 8,713 Content Per Day: 1.21 Reputation: 21 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/28/2004 Status: Offline Share Posted June 3, 2006 Loving someone who is divorced is not the issue.. they are loved just like all of us are loved.. we all have problems and because of some of those specific problems some of us should not be in such a place of service for others to look to as examples.. I am saying if they show themselves to lack the ability to see that divorcing over and over because they are not happy with their spouse they should not be given a place of service until they get their problems solved.... How do you see that as unreasonable? That is extremely reasonable. No matter what, especially among Baptists, this is going to be a tough issue. Is divorce the one sin that prevents people from being a pastor, elder, or deacon? I find it ironic that a person could have been a murderer, drug addict, alcoholic, male prostitute, child abuser, before comming to Christ say ten years ago and be a pastor....but a person that possibly divorced his wife because she was cheating on him and eventually left him for another guy twenty years ago is looked on with disdain for any major leadership role. Grace covers our sins. Now, if this person continues to get divorced, or divorced his/her spouse a year ago due to his/her own infedlity, then I think there is ground to question his/her leadership ability. However, if it is something in the past and grace has taught them a lesson, I do not see the big deal. For instance, my father is divorced. His first marriage lasted a total of six months. He then married my mother. They have since been married for twenty-seven years. However, because he made a stupid mistake whilst backslidden, he has been kept out of leadership roles and church members have even become offended because he was allowed to speak one Sunday night. Is that really Christianity? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LadyRaven Posted June 3, 2006 Group: Royal Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 13 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,981 Content Per Day: 0.30 Reputation: 3 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/22/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/20/1964 Share Posted June 3, 2006 Loving someone who is divorced is not the issue.. they are loved just like all of us are loved.. we all have problems and because of some of those specific problems some of us should not be in such a place of service for others to look to as examples.. I am saying if they show themselves to lack the ability to see that divorcing over and over because they are not happy with their spouse they should not be given a place of service until they get their problems solved.... How do you see that as unreasonable? That is extremely reasonable. No matter what, especially among Baptists, this is going to be a tough issue. Is divorce the one sin that prevents people from being a pastor, elder, or deacon? I find it ironic that a person could have been a murderer, drug addict, alcoholic, male prostitute, child abuser, before comming to Christ say ten years ago and be a pastor....but a person that possibly divorced his wife because she was cheating on him and eventually left him for another guy twenty years ago is looked on with disdain for any major leadership role. Grace covers our sins. Now, if this person continues to get divorced, or divorced his/her spouse a year ago due to his/her own infedlity, then I think there is ground to question his/her leadership ability. However, if it is something in the past and grace has taught them a lesson, I do not see the big deal. For instance, my father is divorced. His first marriage lasted a total of six months. He then married my mother. They have since been married for twenty-seven years. However, because he made a stupid mistake whilst backslidden, he has been kept out of leadership roles and church members have even become offended because he was allowed to speak one Sunday night. Is that really Christianity? I'm divorced, I was previously married to an adulterer who also denied the faith right before we divorced. He is now remarried and the woman and him went before the church and repented and lo and behold he has no consequences now at all... that sorta burns me up... ahem. My church looked at the situation, ruled that my divorce was not due to my sin and thus I was free to serve anywhere I liked (excpet eldership, we don't believe in female elders and pastors) I see a problem with people who are divorced through no fault of their own being kept out of leadership because they were the victim of someone else's sins. I do not have a problem with having a period where someone who is divorced through fault of their own (ie the adulterer or the person who has left because they weren't happy or didn't like the husband or wifes occupation, that sort of thing) has to sit and recouperate from their state (be built back up, demonstrate that their repentance is honest, etc) if they are seeking a position of leadership (elder, deacon, sunday school tteacher) Not everyone who says they are sorry have truly repented. Some merely regret that things went badly. If someone were a pedophile, and they repented, it would not be smart for me to let this person be my child's sunday school teacher...If a man was a philanderer and he was a pastor, he could repent before the church but...he should not remain the pastor until he's been faithful to his wife for a while, to prove that he's changed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tah Posted June 3, 2006 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 105 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 3,131 Content Per Day: 0.45 Reputation: 126 Days Won: 1 Joined: 05/12/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted June 3, 2006 Absolutely correct .... at the end of the process... Then as we all must do.. we wait on the Lord to show us where to serve... I did not know of churches that do not allow divorced folks to serve at all until the last few years.. which I do not agree with at all when the ones who have had the experience are clear of any wrongdoing.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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