Guest Masterseeker Posted September 25, 2003 Share Posted September 25, 2003 I have a niece who has a 12 yr. old daughter who recently cut her arm many, many times. She is a product of a divorce since a small child. She listens to wrong music and reads about witches. She dresses in black and paints her nails black and wears very dark lipstick and is into Gothic. How can we approach her to get her out of this direction? Thanks. Pam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ovedya Posted September 25, 2003 Group: Royal Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 375 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 11,400 Content Per Day: 1.44 Reputation: 125 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/30/2002 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/14/1971 Share Posted September 25, 2003 Sit her down and preach the gospel to her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest feraline Posted September 25, 2003 Share Posted September 25, 2003 I have a niece who has a 12 yr. old daughter who recently cut her arm many, many times. She is a product of a divorce since a small child. She listens to wrong music and reads about witches. She dresses in black and paints her nails black and wears very dark lipstick and is into Gothic. How can we approach her to get her out of this direction? Thanks. Pam I've cut myself since the age of nine, and around 13 or so it got to be really bad. I'm in my twenties and still do it very often. I guess I would be classified as a goth...I dress in black a lot and have dyed my hair black since age 16, and wear the nail polish a lot as well. I don't know specifically what you refer to as "wrong music" but I listen to controversial stuff. Is this girl a Christian? If not she is likely very much against Christianity and won't change her ways with the reading of a few passages. If you are seriously concerned about her I'd suggest talking to her about this and getting her into counseling with a psychiatrist she trusts. Ordering her not to do those things will never work, I can tell you from experience. If you listen without judgement she might find a way to relieve herself of pain some other way then cutting...that's why you do it, by the way, to relieve inner pain and make your outside look as bad as your inside feels. I'm not a Christian but if you want more info on cutting or personal experience, etc, feel free to pm me or email me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nebula Posted September 25, 2003 Group: Royal Member Followers: 10 Topic Count: 5,823 Topics Per Day: 0.76 Content Count: 45,870 Content Per Day: 5.95 Reputation: 1,897 Days Won: 83 Joined: 03/22/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/19/1970 Share Posted September 25, 2003 I learned about "cutting" in my psych 101 class. It is a classified mental disorder - I forget the specific name. But it is, believe it or not, a reaction to inner pain. It's a form of self-hatred. I beleive my psych teacher found evidence that girls who cut themselves for relief like that came out of abusive situations. I don't know if this is true for all or not, but it is soemthing to consider. Whatever the case, your niece is hurting, and no amount of "talking" is going to make her feel better. I agree that she needs professional help. There are professional Christian counselors around who should be trained in such areas as well. Blessings! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anonymous Posted September 25, 2003 Group: Royal Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 97 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 1,550 Content Per Day: 0.20 Reputation: 8 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/18/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/15/1943 Share Posted September 25, 2003 "Cutting" .... Self- mutilation. It's a cry for help, and like nebula stated it is an outward sign of some deep inner problems! She needs help... I believe Christian Counseling is the best! In the meantime, you can be of a help by listening to her and extending your willingness to be available to her. It is important that she knows their is someone she can talk to who cares... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eric Posted September 25, 2003 Group: Graduated to Heaven Followers: 2 Topic Count: 50 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 4,073 Content Per Day: 0.52 Reputation: 43 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/02/2002 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/10/1923 Share Posted September 25, 2003 I agree with Nebula. The people to see are professionals in matters of this nature. I dont think anyone on this board would be qualified to give the correct counselling and I,ve been around here a while now. But one thing I will say and that we have some very good prayer warriors on the board and most of us agree that prayer is a very formidable weapon. I'll pray for your niece right now. Father I lift this young girl up to you in the name of Jesus. Only You know what is on her mind only you know her hurts, only You know her heart, so I commit her into Your hands that through You the Holy Spirit will minister to her and bring her the peace that can only be found in Jesus. Amen. in Christ,...eric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith1 Posted September 25, 2003 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 28 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 891 Content Per Day: 0.12 Reputation: 55 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/25/2003 Status: Offline Share Posted September 25, 2003 Sit her down and preach the gospel to her. Amen God-man Amen and pray! pray! pray! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adstar Posted September 26, 2003 Group: Royal Member Followers: 12 Topic Count: 75 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 3,399 Content Per Day: 0.43 Reputation: 1,307 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/01/2002 Status: Offline Share Posted September 26, 2003 I have come to know a few girls who cut themselves. For a variety of reasons they feel that they are unlovable or useless or good for nothing. Many have been mentally bashed during there childhood. When the people around you talk to you like you are trash, in the end you believe you are trash. One of the girls even confessed that she had been sexually abused. :down: Is it any wonder they have a fascination with black/death it seems to them like an outlet from a pointless life. What they need to know is that someone loves them but it is hard for them when they do not believe anyone could ever love them. They need to know Jesus so much, they need to be lifted up out of the self-loathing by Knowing that Jesus truly does love them and wants the best for them. They need to know the forgiveness/Grace that Jesus has for them. When you know you are forgiven you can forgive others and most importantly you can forgive yourself and that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
irishcowboy Posted October 9, 2003 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 127 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 3,248 Content Per Day: 0.88 Reputation: 13 Days Won: 0 Joined: 03/23/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted October 9, 2003 think about the man in the tombs, was self injuring, and raised terror among the locals....... this man was demon possessed...... i have known of several that have been into cutting, and they were also in the midst of abusive relationships ( home life, whether grown, or under the care of others ) most i know of were sexually abused, and one i know of that still cuts, tends to do more when she is being rejected....... I feel for these young people, and pray for them...... some use it as a way to get attention.. mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hazel Posted October 9, 2003 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 13 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 478 Content Per Day: 0.06 Reputation: 29 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/01/2003 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/06/1971 Share Posted October 9, 2003 I'm speaking from the position of a "reformed cutter". Alot of this is ringing true, and some isn't. DO NOT ASSUME THAT YOUR NEICE IS DOING THIS FOR ATTENTION!!! It's probably not a suicide attempt either.In my case, once I was caught, I just found more discreet places on my body to cut. I would also steal and hide razors for future use . I'm 32 now, so when I was cutting myself, it was pretty much unheard of in the psych community. I was hospitalized, and the Dr's told me they had never seen anything like what I was doing .I have about 200 scars on each arm, many on my chest , and many on various other areas. It started when I was about nine, with a sharp steak knife. I wasn't caught until I was 16, and I didn't stop until I was 22.This girl probably does feel unloved, and she may, or may not be going through child sexual abuse. I wasn't sexually abused, but I was verbally abused. I did feel worthless. I wasn't "crying out for help" . It was a tool I used to cope with a "hopeless" situation. She may not even really know why she's doing this, I wasn't able to give an answer when asked. Eric's probably right, I know I'm not qualified to advise on this topic formally, but I know what would have helped me. Take this precious girl in your arms and tell her how special she is. Tell her she's beautiful, and that God made her that way! Tell her that no one could ever take her place in your heart, and that she is important to you. Tell her that God has a special work for her that He created her to do. Keep telling her those things until she belives them. Please, tell her before she cuts deeper than she meant to. That happened to me..... 17 stitches . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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