angelkade21 Posted June 26, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 7 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 41 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/12/2004 Status: Offline Share Posted June 26, 2006 I have 2 couple of questions here. I know a Alcoholic, and i have dealt with all my life, over and over seeing this person plummit in the wrong direction. I have had conversations over and over and nothing has changed. I told her everything she needed to know to help her get her in the right direction. I told her how much God loves her, that he knew her when she was in her mothers womb, and even God knows how many hairs are on her head. I told her that Instead of Turning to alcohol, to turn to God. She has always gone through depression and alcohol is her escape of those overwhelming thoughts. I told her that no man or alcohol on this earth can fill her hole that she is trying to fill. God is what she is looking for and he will fill that hole insider her. I told her to get on her knees and pray to God asking for forgiveness and letting Christ in. I told her that her life will change, and God forgives, and makes us new. He will take away the depression if she just lets him work in her. I explained Salvation, Forgivness, and baptism. Why does it seem so hard to open up peoples eyes to the truth. Its like they want to change but they are afraid to take that step and they don't want to give up wordly things and addiction, even though they know its ruining them. Question #1. Do i leave it up to her? Will i take any responsibility if she goes to hell? Should i never give up? I love this person very much. And it kills me inside to see what she is doing. She is hurting herself and her Family very much. I know i need to PRAY everyday for her. 2. How do you tell somebody that what they are doing is sinning, and that they need Christ for Salvation, without it seeming like you are Judging them? that is what she said to me. She says "well have you talked to (such and such) about what they are doing and so on". YSIC, angelkade21 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brandli5 Posted June 26, 2006 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 15 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 559 Content Per Day: 0.08 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/06/2006 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/29/1975 Share Posted June 26, 2006 All you can do is pray. Once you have told her what to do and how to do it, and she will not hear you, then you must let go and let God. We can sow seeds, but we must let that person live the way they will, because we can't change them. WE can love them, and support them, be there, and help them. (I would not say you support the drinking, just support her as in being there for her, but NOT giving money for the habit) Sometimes tough love is the way to go, Tell her what she is doing to herself, and tell her your tired of having to see her this way, and that you need not to be around this, because its wearing you down. Emotionally it is wearing you down. worry, and fear that she is ruining herself and killing herself. That can be strong in words, but I know how it is to see this. Let go and let god. Love her, and be there, but when you get tired, tell her these things, and walk away. Pray in a distance, and ask God to handle this his way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angelkade21 Posted June 26, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 7 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 41 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/12/2004 Status: Offline Author Share Posted June 26, 2006 Thank you for your reply. I feel like she thinks im judging her, but in reality If she could only see that i Love her. My method is this, sometimes your sin has to be revealed to you before you know that you need a savior. LIke Kirk Cameron on Way of the Master. I will keep praying, i have been for her since i was 16 years old when i became a Christian, so i feel like her life is in her own hands, but im stuck on the sidelines and can't intervene, no matter what i say it goes thru one ear and out the other. I pray for her to open her eyes, and be Saved. God Bless, YSIC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tah Posted June 26, 2006 Group: Royal Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 105 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 3,131 Content Per Day: 0.45 Reputation: 126 Days Won: 1 Joined: 05/12/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted June 26, 2006 We all share that desire for those we love who are lost... 1. We all are responsible for ourselves....no way I can blame anyone else for what I do.. You in no way are responsible..just the opposite ..You try to help her... 2.That is a problem because any time a person is happy with their sin they will see your telling them it is sin as judgmental of you...even Christians do that... My suggestion is live the Life of Jesus before them.. Do not compromise that Life and pray for the Lord to give you the words for the one you love... Perhaps they will see the life you live and start asking you questions... Only God can open their eyes to see and their ears to hear... and they must ask for themselves... I am of a tendency to pray that God do whatever He needs in a persons life to bring them to repentance..and I do mean whatever... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
filosofer2002 Posted June 26, 2006 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 11 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/12/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 01/03/1947 Share Posted June 26, 2006 You have received some excellent advice. Please continue to pray. If I may make a small observation, some people need to hit bottom with the realization of where they are before they can start making progress to a sober life. Has it occured to you that God may already be dealing with your friend? May I suggest that you may need to get out of the way and let God handle her. I do know that it is easier said than done! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shepherdsgrace Posted June 27, 2006 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 14 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 880 Content Per Day: 0.13 Reputation: 4 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/28/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted June 27, 2006 Really and Truly there is nothing so powerful as going to God in prayer and leaving a person and your relationship with them at the foot of the cross. Just simply taking your will out of the picture. After that point be willing to speak or take action AS THE HOLY SPIRIT leads. Otherwise leave all up to God. It is all to be to his glory. That is what counts, more than anything, his glory. Trust him to bring it about. I assure you that this type of loosing is more powerful than dynamic when sincerely done. Give the person up to God for his glory. Be willing to do but only under his leadership. Wait in expectation for the LORD. I assure you that he is able and willing. But often there are so many wills involved .......removing yours gives a place for His total working to come in. Whatsoever we loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. And that is what you want, you want it loosed for heavenly power. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel72 Posted June 27, 2006 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 30 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 120 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 0 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/22/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted June 27, 2006 You sound like you have a big heart, my friend. I have dealt with the same situation. And, trust me, there WILL come a time when your friend will WANT to hear about Jesus. Until then, like someone said in their post, just keep living a Godly life. Show her thru your actions how good of a life you can have with Jesus. Your friend may not realize what a blessing you are to her. When you have an addiction, that addiction takes precedence over all other things. You become obsessed, and angry if something gets in your way of taking that drink, or drug, or putting a 20 dollar bill in a nickel machine at a casino. Pray for God to deal with your friend's heart. I know many times, Worthy family has told me to get down on my knees and confess to the Lord how much I am hurting. I believe you can do this, too, for your friend. I don't think it is a mistake that you are friends with this person, but keep in mind, and be careful not to let your friendship compromise your relationship with Christ. This can easily happen. If God has used you to get into your friend's heart, I believe He will use you to plant a seed in another one's heart. You have a gift, my dear. Your compassion shines right thru your post. When that time comes, when your friend needs to hear about Jesus, don't worry about saying the wrong thing. Just start sharing the Word, and God will give you the words you need to get through to her. Rachel72 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
other one Posted June 27, 2006 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 29 Topic Count: 596 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 56,043 Content Per Day: 7.56 Reputation: 27,785 Days Won: 271 Joined: 12/29/2003 Status: Online Share Posted June 27, 2006 Thank you for your reply. I feel like she thinks im judging her, but in reality If she could only see that i Love her. My method is this, sometimes your sin has to be revealed to you before you know that you need a savior. LIke Kirk Cameron on Way of the Master. I will keep praying, i have been for her since i was 16 years old when i became a Christian, so i feel like her life is in her own hands, but im stuck on the sidelines and can't intervene, no matter what i say it goes thru one ear and out the other. I pray for her to open her eyes, and be Saved. God Bless, YSIC Angel, this is just my opinion from dealing with this for many years with some people. Remember that you can not save a person, all you can do is make sure that they have the information that they need to come to that point in life where they will believe. It really takes the Holy Spirit to make that happen and your prayers and love will go a long way to help. Just gently remind her now and then and as others have said, be there for her when she decides she needs help. Sometime it will come and what you have planted in her may well make the difference...... and you may never know it happened.... Pray for her daily and ask the Spirit to intervene in her life. That can get ugly short term, but your friend will have to hit bottom with the alcohol before she decides she needs help. Sam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest jckduboise Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 personal experience regarding people who are in the middle of any kind of addiction. They do NOT hear. Pray from a distance for her and her life style choices. But I am a recovered addict and I can tell you that she will not hear until she is ready to hear or as the old addage goes HITS BOTTOM.. Just love her. When she is ready she will remember, all you can do is hope that a seed was planted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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