jealousy?

[hopedancer92]

guys... i don't know what's wrong with me!!! one of my best friends just got moved up into my dance class from the level below me... and i should be super excited... right? wrong! i don't why... but i'm kinda angry... and upset... cuz first of all... her mom tries to push my friend to be better in everything... and tries to get her in classes she shouldn't be in... and sometimes that gets on my nerves cuz i don't get those priveleges ... ya know? my friend is also pretty rich... she has a huge house... and has pool... and now they're rippin down the pool to get a better one... and she has her own dance mirror... they have about 200 dvd's... but have only watched about 1/2 of them... they have 5 t.v's (they only have 4 people in their family!)... and i could go on and on!!! idk guys.... i think i'm having a problem w/ jealousy... and i asked God for wisdom... cuz the bible says that when we face trials we can ask God for wisdom and He'll give it to us... but i'm not feelin any help!!!! can you help me understand what i'm feelin??? and help me to start feelin happy that she's gonna be in my class!!!???!! please help!!!

~dancer.in.need~

[billie]

If you've asked God to take this jealousy away from you, don't worry about your feelings. Just believe He will take them. The Bible says we must bring all our thoughts under captivity in submission to Christ. This means we have a choice what to dwell on. Pay attention to your thoughts. When a jealous thought comes up, ask Jesus for forgivenes, ask Him to take it away, and start praising Him in your thoughts for all your blessings. Remember, He's got EVERYTHING under His control. Things in this situation are going exactly like He wants them to. Just trust that He knows what He's doing.

[tah]

I do not think there is a person in the whole world who does not suffer from this temptation to desire what someone else has..

the sin condition...

You are so right to know it is wrong and to pray for the Lord to give you the power to rise above its slimy grasping desire to get you down...

We are told it is good to be content with what condition God has us in..

1Ti 6:6 But godliness with contentment is great gain.

1Ti 6:7 For we brought nothing into the world, and it is clear that we can carry nothing out.

1Ti 6:8 But having food and clothing, we will be content.

Phi 4:11 Not that I speak according to need, for I have learned to be content in whatever state I am.

Phi 4:12 I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound. In everything and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.

Phi 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Stand strong in the truth and choose to love your friend and fight the good fight and win..

You have the power of God inside you to rise above this attack...

[KeilanS]

Jealousy is something I as well suffer with. For me it's relationships and my friends hanging out with other people. Now obviously this is completely unreasonable. Thats how I get through it, just tell myself that it is an unfair emtion and have to supress it. God loves us all equally regardless of priveledges and wealth and all you can really do is pray for his help and try not to act on the jealousy.

[Candi770]

Just because she has all thoughs "things" doesn't mean her life is so great. Her mother won't be able to manipulate her life forever. Is she a Christian? If not, that's really sad. Just because the outside of a house looks wonderful-doesn't mean in inside is so great.

We really should try to consider what the Lord has done for us and be Thankful. I was in Tae Kwon Do when I was a teenager and the Master instructor-didn't allow (Payoffs)you had to earn it. As I got older, I became an instructor and additudes toward women in the tae kwon do school changed- I was from the old school- no pads and we didn't pay around- we made full contact fighting-forget the fingernails- Then all of a sudden it changed and girls were treated differently. It wasn't fair that I was pushed as hard as I was but they had it a little softer. Hello, That wasn't fair. But,

I would rather earn it that anything be handed to me. Its funny, my dad would say-I'll buy you what ever belt you want to wear. I would just laugh (We didn't have lots of money-he just loved me) What you are doing is earning what you have-thats not bad. Just do the best that you can do and compete against yourself, to make yourself better. I remember girls getting mad in TKD because they couldn't do it like men- I'm sorry we are made differently,

I always pushed myself to extremes and challenged myself. When my parents witnessed my black belt testing they had not watched one class. They thought I was awesome. I knew I earned it and was happy. Then I married the instructor (a whole different story-shew!!).

Put things into perspective. Put away that jealously. Go on and have fun. Life is too short for dwelling on someone elses life. Set goals for yourself-ask the Lord for Help and see what happens.

Blessings and Have fun little un!!

candi

[EricH]

Here is a passage that speaks to me regarding this:

Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, so that He may exalt you in due time

1 Peter 5:6 CSB

[hopedancer92]

to answer ur question candi... my friend's family is christian... i know them from my christian school... but they rarely go to church or have much "God-time"... so i'm pretty sure they're christians... but you can't be positively sure with anybody... so yea... that's my answer!

[LadyRaven]

guys... i don't know what's wrong with me!!! one of my best friends just got moved up into my dance class from the level below me... and i should be super excited... right? wrong! i don't why... but i'm kinda angry... and upset... cuz first of all... her mom tries to push my friend to be better in everything... and tries to get her in classes she shouldn't be in... and sometimes that gets on my nerves cuz i don't get those priveleges ... ya know? my friend is also pretty rich... she has a huge house... and has pool... and now they're rippin down the pool to get a better one... and she has her own dance mirror... they have about 200 dvd's... but have only watched about 1/2 of them... they have 5 t.v's (they only have 4 people in their family!)... and i could go on and on!!! idk guys.... i think i'm having a problem w/ jealousy... and i asked God for wisdom... cuz the bible says that when we face trials we can ask God for wisdom and He'll give it to us... but i'm not feelin any help!!!! can you help me understand what i'm feelin??? and help me to start feelin happy that she's gonna be in my class!!!???!! please help!!!

~dancer.in.need~

Obviously, scripturally, we aren't supposed to "covet" our neighbour's stuff and I know you see the sin in that and want to stop doing it.

Sometimes to stop doing it we need to ask "why" we want it in the first place?

1. Are you afraid that her wealth and priviledge will somehow cheat you out of something you deserve?

2. Are you afraid that she will surpass you in skill?

3. Are you afraid you will have to compete with her later on an there won't be "room" for both of you to suceed?

4. Are you jealous because you don't see yourself advancing?

How you deal with your jealousy depends on the answers to these questions. (And any other question which might be appropriate to the situation).

Her wealth and priviledge will not cheat you out of someting you deserve. IT might give her something she doesn't deserve and it might come back and hurt her in the future...but that is really none of your business, though.

She might surpass you in skill, but that too is really nothing to be worried about. I write and there were millions of writers out there with more skill than me, and that is fine. There will always be someone "better" than you. What better person to be better than you than a friend who might also be able to help you along?

Having the false belief that there is not room in a friendship or a class for both of you to succeed is silly. Your instructor would love it if all of you became famous dancers wouldn't she/he? And if both of you succeed, you can always be there for each other to celebrate as you begin to have your own personal expressions and paths along that road. Nobody will understand where both of you have come from than the two of you.

And we have the last one...your success is only limited by your limit of skill (which is determined by God) and your own work.

You need to put your eyes back on yourself and your goals for your dance. Work toward those goals no matter who is doing what. All of the paths walked by believers go in the same direction and they cross fairly frequently, however they are not all completely the same. Figure out how to follow Jesus and His call on your life and leave the paths of the rest of us to God.

[hopedancer92]

um... i guess i'm kinda afraid of competing against her... idk... i really just don't know... it's prolly a little of all of those things... i really need to work on it!! thanx for the advice! ~NESS

[nebula]

It's tough, isn't it?

One thing you may need to consider and pray about is the effect your feeling sof jealousy may be having on your friendship. I am sensitive to this as I was hurt by a dear friend who was jealous of me. Eventually I asked her to please stop being jealous of me (even trying to give her reasons not to), but by her reaction she was not too happy about my request - even offended (like I was making a cruel demand on her or something. Go figure. ). Lord, forgive her.

Some ideas, maybe:

1) Write down the reasons you are feeling jealous - not "she has this and that" - but rather "I don't have this or that."

You see, when dealing with attitude sins, we need to examine our hearts and seek out what it is inside of us that is making us feel discontented.

2) Can you talk to your friend about it? I know this is tough, and depending on your friend's maturity level this may or may not be a good idea, but it's a possibility. Again, keep the focus off her and place it on you. For example: "Hey [friend], I need to confess a struggle I have. I am having a struggle with jealousy over the privilages you have. I want to be glad you are in the dance class with me, yet I feel afraid that [ ? ? ? ] . . . . I don't want to feel this way, and it's horrible that I do. Would you help me overcome it?"

Again, it's risky to open up like this, because you may not know how the friend will react. But, from what I went through, I would have rather my friend had at some point admitted that the jealousy she felt was something that needed to be dealt with. She wanted me to pity her, I guess. So, you have admitted it is wrong - bravo! What you want from your friend is not pity, but perspective maybe? How about working together to become better dancers? Practice dance moves with each other when you are over at her house with her dance mirror.

3) Finally, I recall a time I was jealous over another person for a completely different reason, but I was jealous nonetheless. I asked the Lord for wisdom, like you are. His answer? Love her. It was amazing because I was put in situations where I was rather forced to put some extra effort into her life - such as rooming with her at a weekend conference and she got sick in the middle of the night and needed me to be with her. But I tell you, the more I put in the extra effort to love her, the more I was striking death blows to that jealousy.

It was tough, but I could definantly say I got purged that way.

The Lord bless you as you continue to pursue Him and His ways!