Even more confusion.

[Deathstar 80]

I'm a little confused right now in my life. For the last few years (about 3 or 4 years), I've been "out of reality". Every year it's been getting worse. At first when I started to go "out of reality", I was the closest to God as I have ever been, and I was persecuted. Because of that, I decided to become more part of the world by becoming prideful during our Summer break, and ever since, even though I've stopped my pride, I've still been going "out of reality". When I wasn't out of reality, I was smarter, more athletic, and more social than I am now. Today, I'm still known to be a great Christian, while other Christians seem that they're trying to prove I'm not a Christian. I'm expected to do a lot of great things by my parents and everybody, but where I'm out of touch with reality, I can't do anything.

I know some people would say my self-esteem is the cause of the problem, but I know as a fact it's not my self-esteem. I literally am much worse than I used to be and I don't know what to do. I'm very shy, and just recently I've seen something called asperger syndrome (I looked on www.webmd.com for all of my symptoms, and right now it seems I have at least 5 out of 9 symptoms - 1) dislikes change in routine, 2) unusual face expressions, 3) difficulty learning new things, 4) socially withdrawn, 5) difficulty solving problems. There are other things I have in common of people with this syndrome, according to WebMD.com).

The reason I want to post this is because I'm confused what to do. I've been embarrassing myself everyday, and it's hard for me not to get mad at God, knowing that he can instantly get rid of whatever problem I have. What do I do? What's wrong with me?

[Iryssa]

First off, pray! Nothing like the power of prayer! Don't save it as a last resort. We're praying here too Also, remember that just because God CAN take something away with the snap of his fingers, doesn't mean that he should. He may have very good reasons for carrying you through this (and He is carrying you, though I know from experience that it really doesn't often seem that way at the time). Troubles in my own life have served to teach me very valuable lessons, and to help others along the way.

The other important thing you should do if you suspect a medical condition is talk to a good doctor for an accurate diagnosis. Things like Asperger's and other mental illnesses can be difficult to diagnose and should only be diagnosed by a qualified physician (things in the Autism spectrum can be particularly challenging). Of course, it's really good to have that kind of research done, but try not to panic in the meantime. That being said, once a diagnosis is made, you will have a better idea of how to proceed. With Asperger's there are things like behavioural therapy which can help quite a lot.

*sigh* I hope that all doesn't sound too trite. I know advice like this often does...praying here, brother.

[shanee]

well im not the sharpest tool in the shed .....but it seems to me that you are just having regular trouble that we all go through mostly a time or 2....like you said you lost touch with reality for some time.....i just did that to for years....but just ask God to bring it back.....he might not do it when you want him too,but just keep coming to him....he will in his time....and when he does it is the most beatiful thing....anyway i will now pray....see ya

[victory777]

praying for you i was like that for a few yrs talk to jesus dont hold back he knows what you are going though

[Hunterpoet]

Hello Deathstar,

Well after having worked and study in the medical field for 15 years, I think I can safely tell you that sef-diagnosis is, at the very least, a very tricky matter.

Diagnosis of a conditon requires allot more than just matching a persons symptoms to a list. For allot of conditions the diagnosis seems simple enough, but even with the most routine illnesses the differential diagnoses must be considered.

I'm guessing that your symptoms mimick several conditions and it would definately take a trained professional to sort it all out.

All things have a begining and an end. It takes a pro to figure out where you are at in the disease process, symptoms don't always stay the same as things move along.

Bottom line....don't self-diagnos...if you think you have a problem, seek medical advice and find out the true nature of the problem.

Your saying that other christians are testing you to prove or disprove your degree of christianity, or the lack there of.

Like what, they try to get you to swear or smoke or drink beer, maybe spread gossip????

If what you say is accurate, it seems as if they are expecting you to live up to their standards...hhhhmmmm, I think christians should only be concerned with living up to G-ds standards. All of His expectations can be found in the bible.

I suggested you seek medical advice for your physical symptoms...well, I think you should seek spiritual advice for the spiritual matters in your life. Your pastor or Deacon would be a good first step. Now don't go and just spring it on them, give them notice. Let them know you have a serious concern and that you would appreciate some of their time to try and sort it all out.

Life is a road full of rocks and boulders. The trick is figuring out when to move them or walk around them.

Grace and Peace to you.

your brother in Christ

[Deathstar 80]

I have great news. I haven't talked to a doctor or anything, but my relationship with God is slowly being restored. I think all I needed to know was how much he really loved me (and how much he really loves everyone).