The divorce and remarriage question

[Guest LadyC]

kc i left you a voicemail....

[Guest HIS girl]

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HisGirl, you were never married so it should be a non-issue. You made no vows to stay with that man. I think a covenant defines a marriage, not living together. You may check into that. But if you are smart....

If I ever get married (legit Covenant married)- there will be 3 of us in it. God, my husband and myself. Something like the tri - une.

[Xan]

****

HisGirl, you were never married so it should be a non-issue. You made no vows to stay with that man. I think a covenant defines a marriage, not living together. You may check into that. But if you are smart....

If I ever get married (legit Covenant married)- there will be 3 of us in it. God, my husband and myself. Something like the tri - une.

That's the only way to do it. Every time I have a Bible study with my fiance', which is once or twice a week, I feel that much closer to him. We have made sure that the Lord has been the center of our relationship the entire time. The health of a marraige starts before the vows are said.

[kross]

I find it hard to understand why so many Christians want to be placed back in bondage to the law. I would recommend reading Galatians about 3 times in the next couple of days.

This is an issue only in the mis-understanding of what JESUS was saying. JESUS did not establish adultery as the only reason for a divorce. What JESUS did say has to be read with some understanding of HIS audience.

JESUS was speaking to people who were under the law (which we are not). As with all of what JESUS was teaching, HE was explaining the consequences of certain actions.

JESUS was not establishing a foundation for Biblical marriage, that is established in Deut Chapter 23. HE was simply explaining a consequence of Biblical divorce.

In this case, JESUS was speaking to people who mostly married virgins. If you have married a virgin and consumated that marriage, and then you divorce her for a cause other than adultery, you cause her to be an adulteress (HIS point being that if it is for adultery, than your spouse has already made themselves an adulterer, so you can't). Most of us do not marry virgins. We marry those who have already committed adultery, so we can not make someone an adulterer who has already made themselves an adulterer.

JESUS is not going to toss anyone aside because of sin. HIS whole reason for coming here was to save sinners. It is a fallen world and we are going to suffer for the falleness in our relationships.

One note for His Girl;

If you left him for the cause of CHRIST, then understand that you are a new creation in JESUS, the old is dead and all things are made new. Go forward in the newness of who you are in HIM and stop looking back at what you did in ignorance. And for CHRIST'S sake, stop listening to people who want to hold you responsible for what that other person who died did.

[tammy826]

I was previously married to an alcoholic , addict , & abuser & after i divorced him I remained single for 11 years with no intention of ever getting remarried. After raising 4 children alone for years by myself I came to a point that I was getting really lonely & depressed. One day I began to pray aloud (while sobbing profusely) & asked God if I was meant to be alone & if not please show me who you want for me. Two days later I met my present husband & we have now been married 2 years but together for 3 yrs. He was also previously married (his wife left him for someone she met on the internet). I guess the difference this time for me was that in this marriage we put God 1st & then each other.We both were saved & fully submitted to God shortly after we were married, before I was in & out of church & not committed to God as I should have been. This time we were married by a preacher were as the 1st time neither of us were(we both were married at the courthouse in our previous marriages) I don't know if that makes a difference or not someone please let me know on this.Thus far we haven't has as much as a cross word with each other & I feel true joy in my home for the 1st time in my life as well as that peace that passes all understanding. The down side of remarriage to me is that there are always complications as we both have children from our 1st marriages & dealing with the ex'es can be VERY trying. Its alot harder to make it work with someone who has been married before but thankfully i feel blessed to have my husband.We put God 1st in all things & we also have a pact with each other to never go to bed angry & so far this has worked for us & I thank God for it. If I hadn't met my husband neither of us would be in church more than likely(only God knows this), we found our way to God together. If it is a sin I'm not completely sure but I did ask for forgiveness before I rededicated my life to God. We then started to do what I call "taking out the trash' & removed anything from our home that had even the slightest appearance of sin. Everything in our lives changed when we fully submitted to God we are new creatures!! Thank you & I hope this helps someone & I'm also interested in the responses as I'm not sure myself. God Bless!!

Edited September 29, 2008 by tammy826

[KC02]

Most people, by the poll, believe that fornication allows for divorce. But I don't think many know what fornication means. It wasn't simple adultery, because you could be stoned to death. Fornication must have been a sexual sin before the marriage and something found out after the fact. That is my best guestimation. I could certainly be wrong.

The best exegesis I have found is covered by Dr Ortberg. Hot Button Topics: What About Divorce

Apparently a great debate in the fist century was whether one could divore their wife "for any cause." She can't cook or clean? Divorce her! Jesus was clearly on the side that thought "No, not for any cause."

It's interesting to see such a wide range of opinions.

Edited September 29, 2008 by KC02

[Guest HIS girl]

I was previously married to an alcoholic , addict , & abuser & after i divorced him I remained single for 11 years with no intention of ever getting remarried. After raising 4 children alone for years by myself I came to a point that I was getting really lonely & depressed. One day I began to pray aloud (while sobbing profusely) & asked God if I was meant to be alone & if not please show me who you want for me. Two days later I met my present husband & we have now been married 2 years but together for 3 yrs. He was also previously married (his wife left him for someone she met on the internet). I guess the difference this time for me was that in this marriage we put God 1st & then each other.We both were saved & fully submitted to God shortly after we were married, before I was in & out of church & not committed to God as I should have been. This time we were married by a preacher were as the 1st time neither of us were(we both were married at the courthouse in our previous marriages) I don't know if that makes a difference or not someone please let me know on this.Thus far we haven't has as much as a cross word with each other & I feel true joy in my home for the 1st time in my life as well as that peace that passes all understanding. The down side of remarriage to me is that there are always complications as we both have children from our 1st marriages & dealing with the ex'es can be VERY trying. Its alot harder to make it work with someone who has been married before but thankfully i feel blessed to have my husband.We put God 1st in all things & we also have a pact with each other to never go to bed angry & so far this has worked for us & I thank God for it. If I hadn't met my husband neither of us would be in church more than likely(only God knows this), we found our way to God together. If it is a sin I'm not completely sure but I did ask for forgiveness before I rededicated my life to God. We then started to do what I call "taking out the trash' & removed anything from our home that had even the slightest appearance of sin. Everything in our lives changed when we fully submitted to God we are new creatures!! Thank you & I hope this helps someone & I'm also interested in the responses as I'm not sure myself. God Bless!!

[Guest HIS girl]

One note for His Girl;

Go forward in the newness of who you are in HIM and stop looking back at what you did in ignorance.

Thankyou!

Praise God for His Mercy, Amen!!

[Guest LadyC]

and what does the scripture say regarding forgiveness? are we bound by our past sin forever? or does God restore the divorcee just as He restores any other sinner? does "i will remember your sin no more" only apply to those who have not been divorced? just curious as to your take on those questions.

[Guest HIS girl]

The Bible says the only reason for divorce is if your spouse commits adultery. However it does not say you could remarry. The only reasons to remarry that the Bible gives is #1 if your spouse dies or #2 if the unbelieving spouse leaves the believing spouse, in this case the believing spouse is freed from the law of marriage just as if the unbelieving spouse that left was dead.

A side note it is not O.K. to leave your spouse because they are an unbeliever, only if they leave you are you free from the law of marriage.

If scriptures are needed ask and I will provide them

Well, my situation is I was convicted by God not only that my "living together" was sinful BUT the man was also NOT the right man for me. So it was a double conviction. I did not part ways because he was an unbeliever..I simply obeyed God.

The ex-partner was an alcoholic, physically/mentally abusive, hard core atheist who would mock my Faith and slammed down my Bible once in front of our 4 boys when they were smaller and screamed I had to make a choice between God OR him....

My boys witnessed many things at the hands of their father.

It wasn't a selfish on the spur of the moment whim that I parted ways with him, please understand that..I was obedient to God FIRST and FOREMOST.