leviathan12

freeinnocentspirit, I actually just stumbled upon this forum site because I was looking for a way to express almost exactly what you seem to be describing. Through this past year, for several reasons I've felt myself slipping away from the Lord, most especially as I've been continually and so incredibly let down by my Christian friends for actions they've done or didn't do. I really expected them to be more wise than they were, but I was so shocked when I realized all along I was being duped with their disregard. I hit an unbearable low in my life and many months later I still cannot seem to emerge from this depressive rut. In turn, I put up barriers because I feel I cannot trust people anymore, especially Christian sisters and brothers, and the cycle continues to spiral downward. Similar episodes like this have occurred multiple times previously in my life to this degree. It's really unhealthy, I know, but nothing I do seems to satisfy. Dare I say it, not even God has seemed to satisfy. Nothing. I have no idea what to do: I don't feel like praying, when I try to pray or read in the Word I lose focus... I have nowhere else to turn. When I listen to my friends praise Christ or my pastor preach, their words seem to bounce off me. I've lost feeling or desire, not just in my faith but in everything else. I've tried to pinpoint the exact source(s) but I don't know what to do about it. Everything seems to be picking up in my life--getting the job I wanted, being admitted into professional school--but I'm still at a loss as to why I cannot seem to pick myself up. Please pray for me, especially during this Christmas season.