eddieper

Maybe you could think outside the box.Think with an open mind.No I do not think that because she is wanting to give him this money that it is infidelity.You can have lustful thoughts about another person and that can be infidelity but I don't know if that comes up with your situation.Make sure you are not being controlling and being too possessive of your daughter.No matter what he has "not" done for her he is still her father. This has nothing to do with her father and my his daughter, but that of her mother and her sense of commitment/ promise to this man. Regardless of the situation one must honor they husband or wife you obligation is to that person whom you've chosen before God to bond yourself too. It is wrong to think of this as a him or her thing but rather a us or we thing. Her choice is to honor this commitment now that we are married and our finances are intermingled so that means that the choice is ours to make not hers. This is not her retirement but the retirement that will benefit our children. Think outside the box are you seriously giving that as Godly advice God wants us to think inside his box and his box only that's why this world is so messed up now because everyone is so eager to think outside of that box..The mandates he has set are clear just look at proverbs from beginning to end it is full of his law on Money, Husbands duty to their wives, wives duty to their husbands marriage..I don't recall reading anything about thinking outside the box. P.S. Come to think about it yes I am overprotective of her, because if I am not then who would be? I am protective of her in-regards to her spiritual growth, her innocence,and her future as a Follower of Christ. Where and how I am going to send her to college putting clothes on her back shoes on her feet and food in her belly. I have not come between them in any way people get that stright and I would never I cant believe I have to respond to this but it must be said.

I really appreciate the input i guess but not the personal attacks on my person(like you do not trust your wife or are jealous of her past)., but i think some of you have forgotten the mandates which our lord has given us. in marriage we are to become as one that means there is no my money or her money but our money(Regardless, spending her money on him no matter how you see it is not infidelity),. she is to respect my opinion as i hers and we are to come to a compromise that would benefit OUR FAMILY. I AM THE HEAD OF THIS FAMILY AND SHE IS THE BODY OR AM I WRONG ON THIS. My responsibility as head of household is to protect and provide this is not jealousy but my GOD given directive. Do you have 19,500 dollars american that you can throw at someone whom has chosen to act as a fool in every aspect of his life and forget that your first obligation as a married couple is to our Lord, Each Other and Family. Perhaps this is something your wife needs to do to completely shut him out of her life. I have enough sense to know that this man will never be shut out of her life that is foolish to even think, as this would have a devastating effect on his daughter regardless of how foolish he is financially he is not a child but a 39 year old man. Being a Godly man does not mean stepping to the side and letting her do what she pleases with total disregard for the welfare of our family. He has done NOTHING to support his daughter. I have in turn purchased tickets placed in in hotels provided money so that she can see him and now I am assuming that I should turn a blind eye because this is ONLY MONEY A TEMPORARY THING. That our church could use to further expand to reach more people with the WORD. Christ fought for the church he did not sit idly by as it was turned into a Den of Sin. This verse does not mean for you to be a carpet, but it does mean that you lead her and lift her up to our lord.love her with kindness/ tenderness/ etc., hold her accountable Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; Now you are right that we should seek counsel, which as the spiritual leader of my family I have tried, but she is stuck on giving him this money instead when I told her to speak with him and instead place this money in an account to help her in the future college, house etc. why now is that not good enough? Because she is emotionally tied to him in his time of need is that not infidelity? You do not have to sleep with a man or women to be unfaithful. Thank you for your prayers and God be with you all.

Hello to everyone, I am recently married in July of 2010. Well my question is this, Yesterday my wife had expressed to me that she was planning on sending the father of my step daughter (I hate that word so let’s use my daughter instead) 19,500 dollars from her IRA. Because she made an promise to him over a house they once had together. She has had a sufficient amount of time to make good on this so called promise to him prior to us getting married and combining our finances together, but never has until now. Now when her ex is having a rough financial time do to his own choosing quitting job to job she choses to take these funds from her retirement fund. I have had difficulty with this since the man has not provided not one cent in the support of my daughter. I have paid for airline tickets/ hotel for him to see his daughter and never come between her and his relationship. He rarely communicates with her and sees her once a year in summer but always with difficulty. I have been in her life now since the age of five and I fail to see her reasoning that this will help her in her walk with Jesus. I find this as a huge insult to me and I know some might say well its her money as she also says, but I don’t see like that especially since those funds are for our future as well as that of our now 1 month old daughter and two other children. I have supported her in just about everything but cannot do this here. We have had a bumpy road to where we are now. I have asked her if she is willing to jeopardize our marriage by doing this and she says that she is going to do what is right and my question is by whom him or me your husband. She continues to state that it is not for him but that it is for her conscious. I again asked her why she would provide him with these funds if he has not provided a dime for her schooling clothes food etc. etc. and she continues to state that it is not her job or place to make him pay child support in anyway that that should come from him. I am lost and I am inches away from filing for a divorce and have asked her if she is willing to except losing me our family our relationship over this and her answer is I am doing the right thing. So whom is she doing right by? It feels as if her promise to him is more important that the vow she made to me, Please help and respond with solid GOD based advice.