B Judson

I'm on several email lists where I get info about high tech stuff including what scientists are saying and doing. Many scientisrs are talking about this.  Scientists that actually are Christian frequently get fired or demoted to an out of the way post for their beliefs.

And, a large majority of them are in fact warming up to the thought that this alien stuff is where "intelligent design" comes from as many are opening saying that they now believe aliens created mankind.

Of course this does not mean 100% of scientists in the world believe this, but satan is pushing for the world to believe aliens created man because the aliens are the devils, the spiritual wickedness in high places God spoke of in His Word.

This is all leading up to the anti-christ which the Word says is a man who is personally possessed by satan himself and will use this alien stuff and A.I in his quest to deceive and control the masses.

I was in in the public restroom - I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice in the other stall:

"Hi, how are you?"........   Me: embarrassed, "Doin' fine!"
Stall: "So what are you up to?".......   Me: "Uhhh, I'm like you, just sitting here."
Stall: "Can I come over?" .........   Me: (attitude) "No, I'm a little busy right now!!"
Stall: "Listen, I'll have to call you back. There's a weirdo in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!

Political Humor

A guy walks in to a muzlim book store and asks

the clerk if they had a copy of Donald Trump's

book on his US Immigration Policy regarding

muzlims and illegal mexicans.

 

The clerk said "GET OUT!, GET OUT!, AND STAY OUT!"

 

And the guy replied, "Yes, that's the one.  Do you have it in paperback?"

 

Blonde Men

 

    A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?"

 

    He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."

   

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    A blonde man spies a letter lying on his doormat.

 

    It says on the envelope

    "DO NOT BEND."

 

    He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.

 

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    A blonde man shouts frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"

 

    "Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor.

 

    "No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"

 

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    A blonde man is in jail, the guard looks in his cell and sees him hanging by his feet.

 

    "Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.

 

    "Hanging myself," the blonde replies.

 

    "The rope should be around your neck" says the guard.

 

    "I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."

 

----------------------

 

    An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?"

 

    To which the blonde man replies:

    "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."

 

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    A friend told the blonde man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year."

 

    The blonde man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."

 

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    Two blonde men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station.

 

    One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?"

 

    The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
 

Did you hear the news story about the guy who went in to have his leg amputated and they took the wrong leg off?

He was going to file a lawsuit, but it turns out he didn't have a leg to stand on.

In the News – The winner of the World Series of Poker (professional poker competition) was stripped of his title today due to testing positive for performance enhancing drugs… he tested positive for Botox!

Should crematoriums give discounts for burn victims?

 

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

Sponges grow in the ocean... how much deeper would the ocean be if they didn't?

35 of Yogi Berra’s most memorable quotes:

 

 1. “It ain’t over till it’s over.”

 

2. “It’s deja vu all over again.”

 

3. “I usually take a two-hour nap from 1 to 4.”

 

4. “Never answer an anonymous letter.”

 

5. “We made too many wrong mistakes.”

 

6. “You can observe a lot by watching.”

 

7. “The future ain’t what it used to be.”

 

8. “If you don’t know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.”

 

9. “It gets late early out here.”

 

10. “If the people don’t want to come out to the ballpark, nobody’s going to stop them.”

 

11. “Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical.”

 

12. “Pair up in threes.”

 

13. “Why buy good luggage, you only use it when you travel.”

 

14. “Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded.”

 

15. “All pitchers are liars or crybabies.”

 

16. “A nickel ain’t worth a dime anymore.”

 

17. “Bill Dickey is learning me his experience.”

 

18. “He hits from both sides of the plate. He’s amphibious.”

 

19. “I always thought that record would stand until it was broken.”

 

20. “I can see how he (Sandy Koufax) won 25 games. What I don’t understand is how he lost five.”

 

21. “I don’t know (if they were men or women fans running naked across the field). They had bags over their heads.”

 

22. “I’m a lucky guy and I’m happy to be with the Yankees. And I want to thank everyone for making this night necessary.”

 

23. “I’m not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like I did.”

 

24. “In baseball, you don’t know nothing.”

 

25. “I never blame myself when I’m not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn’t my fault that I’m not hitting, how can I get mad at myself?”

 

26. “I never said most of the things I said.”

 

27. “It ain’t the heat, it’s the humility.”

 

28. “I think Little League is wonderful. It keeps the kids out of the house.”

 

29. “I wish everybody had the drive he (Joe DiMaggio) had. He never did anything wrong on the field. I’d never seen him dive for a ball, everything was a chest-high catch, and he never walked off the field.”

 

30. “So I’m ugly. I never saw anyone hit with his face.”

 

31. “Take it with a grin of salt.”

 

32. (On the 1973 Mets) “We were overwhelming underdogs.”

 

33. “The towels were so thick there I could hardly close my suitcase.”

 

34. “You should always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise, they won’t come to yours.”

 

35. “When you come to a fork in the road, take it.”

Here's a little fact for automotive buffs, or just to dazzle your friends

The four Goldberg brothers, Lowell, Norman, Hiram, and Max, invented and developed the first

automobile air-conditioner. On July 17, 1946 , the temperature in Detroit was 97 degrees.

The four brothers walked into old man Henry Ford's office and sweet-talked his secretary into telling

him that four gentlemen were there with the most exciting innovation in the auto industry since the electric starter.  Henry was curious and invited them into his office.

 

They refused and instead asked that he come out to the parking lot to their car.
They persuaded him to get into the car, which was about 130 degrees, turned on the air conditioner, and

 cooled the car off immediately.

 

 The old man got very excited and invited them back to the office, where he offered them $3

 million for the patent.

 

 The brothers refused, saying they would settle for $2 million, but they wanted the recognition by

 having a label, 'The Goldberg Air-Conditioner,' on the dashboard of each car in which it was installed

 

 Now old man Ford was more than just a little anti-Jewish, and there was no way he was going to put the

 Goldberg's name on two million Fords.  They haggled back and forth for about two hours and finally agreed on $4 million and that just their first names would be shown.

 

 And so to this day, all Ford air conditioners show -- Lo, Norm, Hi, and Max -- on the controls.

It was a simply reply.  Sorry to hear you have been offended!

Un subscribing now....

And yet we see lots of folks out there doing grevious sin before the Lord... and they claim to be Christians and you claim the Holy Spirit is dwelling in them...

Obviously you do not believe Romans 8 among other passages.

 

Quote

It seems you missed part of that person's post you quoted.  

 No, "consequences for the believer" who turns their back on God to go do sin is... separation from God, they die spiritually!  You cannot abide IN Christ and do sin at the same time.

In the end, you believe that once a person is born again they will end up in Heaven no matter if they live like the devil... and that is satanic doctrine!

OK, so now you are back tracking.... before you were saying everyone is saved.,

Now you are saying people have to do something to be saved.

So which is it that you believe?  Or, are you just confused and don’t accept the whole counsel of God?

And, yes some of the universalists think satan will be saved in the end along with all the fallen angels

You admit having broken into the dress shop four times?" asked the judge.

"Yes," answered the suspect.

 

"And what did you steal?"
"A dress, Your Honor," replied the subject.

 

"One dress?" echoed the judge. "But you admit breaking in four times!"

"Yes, your Honor," sighed the suspect. "But three times my wife didn't like the color."

A cop is staking out a bar for drunk drivers. At closing time, he sees a guy stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and fumble for his keys for five minutes.

When he finally gets in, it takes him another five minutes to get the key in the ignition. Meanwhile, everybody else leaves the bar and drives off.

When he finally pulls away, the cop is waiting for him, pulls him over, and gives him a Breathalyzer test. The test shows he has a blood alcohol level of 0.0.

The cop says, "How is this possible?"
The guy says, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."
 

For 30 years Joe has been working at the same place and is planning to retire.

Each day, at the end of his shift, he walks out the main gate with a wheelbarrow full of sawdust which the guard dutifully inspects.

On his last day on the job, the guard stops him as he is leaving the main gate.

He knows that Joe has been stealing all the while and has never been able to prove it so he asks, "Joe, I know you've been stealing but I don't know what or how. Every time I searched the sawdust, I found nothing! Tell me, I'm dying of curiosity, I won't say a word to anyone."

Joe nodded his head and said, "Wheelbarrows."
 

So there's this fella with a parrot. And this parrot swears like a sailor. He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself. Trouble is, the guy who owns him is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy. One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the throat, shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!"

But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.
Then the guy gets mad and says, "OK for you." and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet.

This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of vulgarities that would make a veteran sailor blush.

At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer. For the first few seconds there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly gets very quiet. At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.

The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."

The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot. Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"

Divert Your Course

 

Ship #1: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.

 

Ship #2: Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to South to avoid a collision.

 

Ship #1: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.

 

Ship #2: No. I say again, you divert your course.

 

Ship #1: THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER ENTERPRISE, WE ARE A LARGE WARSHIP OF THE US NAVY. DIVERT YOUR COURSE NOW!

 

Ship #2: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"

The man below says: "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must work in IT", says the balloonist. 

"I do" replies the man. "How did you know."

"Well" says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."
The man below says "you must work in management."

"I do" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were in before we met, but now it's my fault."

A plane took off from Dulles Airport. After it had reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from Washington to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and...Oh my God!"

Silence followed and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you earlier, but while I was talking, the flight attendant brought me a cup of coffee and spilled the hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"

A passenger in coach said, "That's nothing. He should see the back of mine!"

Points to Ponder...

 

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
 

If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done?
 

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?
 

If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn't the whole airplane made out of the stuff?
 

Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?
 

If most car accidents occur within five miles of home, why doesn't everyone just move 10 miles away?
 

Always remember you're unique...just like everyone else.
 

Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
 

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
 

Why do they report power outages on TV?
 

Why are builders afraid to have a 13th floor but book publishers aren't afraid to have a Chapter 11?
 

What did 6-Up taste like?
 

Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark.
 

Why do people without out a watch look at their wrist when you ask them what time it is?
 

After eating, do amphibians have to wait one hour before getting out of the water?
 

Do babies think adults are cute?
 

If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?
 

Is there another word for synonym?
 

Just "before" someone gets nervous, do they experience cocoons in their stomach?
 

When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their picket signs?
 

When you open a new bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
 

When your pet bird sees you reading the newspaper, does he wonder why you're just sitting there, staring at carpeting?
 

Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
 

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
 

Three women die together in an accident And go to heaven.

 

When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule here in heaven:

Don't step on the ducks!'

 

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, There are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, And although they try their best to avoid them, The first woman accidentally steps on one.

 

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.  St.. Peter chains them together and says,

'Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to Spend eternity chained to this ugly man!'
 

The next day, The second woman steps accidentally on a duck And along comes St. Peter,

Who doesn't miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together

With the same admonishment as for the first woman.

 

The third woman has observed all this and, Not wanting to be chained For all eternity to an ugly man, is very,

VERY careful where she steps.

 

She manages to go months Without stepping on any ducks, But One day St.Peter comes up to her

With the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on ..... Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.

 

St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

 

The happy woman says, 'I wonder what I did to deserve being Chained to you for all of eternity?'

 

The guy says, 'I don't know about you, But I stepped on a Duck.

Really Funky Funnies!

I tried to catch some fog - But I mist
 

When pharmacists die, they barium
 

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
 

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray, is now a seasoned veteran.
 

Did you hear about the guy who's addicted to brake fluid? He says he can stop anytime.
 

How does Moses make his tea?  -  Hebrews it.
 

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went - Then it dawned on me.
 

A girl said she recognized me from the Vegetarian Club - But I'd never met herbivore.
 

I'm reading a book about Anti-Gravity ........ I can't put it down.
 

I did a theatrical performance about puns - It was a play on words.
 

They told me I had Type A blood - but it was a TypeO.
 

Why were the American Indians there first? - They had Reservations.
 

I didn't like my beard at first - Then it grew on me.
 

How do you make Holy Water? - Boil the Hell out of it.
 

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? - A thesaurus.
 

What does a clock do when it is hungry? - It goes back four seconds.
 

Broken pencils are pointless .............

A little girl was sitting at the table drawing. Her mother asked, "What are you drawing, darling ??"

 

The girl replied "I'm drawing a picture of God"

Mother said, "But how can you do that dear ? Nobody knows what God looks like !!"

 

The girl replied " They will when I've finished!!"

Three tourists were driving through Wales one morning.

As they were approaching Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town's name.

They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.

As they stood at the counter one asked the blonde employee,
"Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us?

Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?"

The girl leaned over the counter and slowly said, "Burrrrrr, gerrrrrr, Kiiiiiing."