I am going to be very forward. I have a problem that's affecting my social life and which keeps me from God. That is lust.
I am addicted to pornography. I have this burning need to fill a need. This immorality is like scratching at a mosquito bite, it gives short relief but only makes it worse.
I feel dirty before God. I feel like a hypocrite. I've asked for Jesus to be my savior, I've asked for help from Him in this personal hell. And before I know it, I'm dirty again.
I've done as much as I can to help myself. I've destroyed all my pornographic material (but in times of weakness it's easy to get more ) and made several vows (which were broken time and time again).
I'm asking for advice, a prayer, or just someone going through the same thing.
I'm doubting the existence of God (which may be related too). I have seen so much that would indicate the existence of a personal God. It's the only thing that makes sense, yet I can't bring myself to truly believe (once again I'm a bloody hypocrite for going to Christ in the first place).
Nothing is making sense anymore. I have no-one to talk to about this. I honestly have no friends in real life who I could even begin to talk to about this. I feel I'm a coward for hiding behind a screen name and posting on a message board to complete strangers. But I did and I ask what help you can spare.