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i want to say first that i LOVE my mother. seriously. love her! and i'm very happy that she lives with me and my husband. he loves having her here, too, and neither of us would want her anywhere else. we have a lot of fun with her. she's got such a great sense of humor! one of the funniest things is to watch an 89 year old woman nail her son-in-law with a rubber band that she shoots over her shoulder without even looking to see where she is aiming. that being said, it's stressful. she wants me to help her keep everything straight that a doctor tells her, but then she argues with me about what the doctor actually said. (read the greyed out part if you want the details, or skip to the next paragraph). for instance, yesterday. the doctor wanted to schedule her for another bone density scan. i informed him that every year she does one, but after the first dose or two of medication she refuses to continue treatment. she's tried everything that has been available up until the time of her last one last year. so the doctor said there is no point in doing a bone scan if she's not going to take the medicine, so he didn't order one. well, all yesterday evening and this morning mom was insisting that she is supposed to get one, that both her regular doctor (yesterday was the PA) and her cardiologist want her to have it done even if she doesn't want to take medicine for it. she even brought me her paperwork from last year, which stated that her risk outlook for the next ten years is "N/A". she insisted that means she is at high risk for the next ten years. ??? and other things too. like today while she was getting bloodwork, i read an interview with actress angie harmon. i had no idea what a tremendous woman of faith she is! so i was telling mom how uplifting the interview was, and was telling her about it, when mom zeroed in on something i said and things went south. it was regarding why the actress had moved her family to NC, and i said i could so relate because "when my daughter was six"... and that's what mom zeroed in on. suddenly we were no longer talking about this inspiring woman who is dedicated to God, and she was off on a tangent about how i had once thought it was so funny that my first husband exposed himself accidentally to my then-2-year-old that i had to bring mom over to show her. WHAT????? i have no earthly idea what she was talking about. if something like that had happened, i would never have thought it as funny, and i darn sure wouldn't have brought my mother over to show her! i became so upset that i started crying. then mom apologized and wanted me to go back to the story i was telling, but by that point i was too upset to even have any desire to share the testimony of some actress. i love my mother. i don't want her to ever die! she has two remaining siblings, both older than her... my oldest aunt turns 101 two days before christmas. i want my mom to live that long too! but at the same time, i get so exasperated that i find myself getting short tempered and speaking harshly at times, and i know that must really hurt mom's feelings. and then she feels like she's a burden on me, and an interference in my marriage... neither of which are true, but i feel that my frustration is what has convinced her that it is. i really just need someone to lift me up in prayer... and my mom. (edited to give an abbreviated version for those not wanting to get bogged down in details.)