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BY CORRECTLY CONCLUDING that the story of Rich Man and Lazarus is a parable, we maintain Scriptural harmony, discern a valuable lesson from its interpretation, and put an end to its illegitimate use as a "proof text" for the doctrine of Eternal Torment - because any Bible scholar worth his salt knows we can't substantiate a doctrine on an uninterpreted parable. Here are 14 irresolvable contradictions which result from claiming the passage is literal: 1. DISEMBODIED BODIES? The Eternal Torment crowd claims when a person dies his body is buried, but “his disembodied soul" leaves this world to points beyond without a body - so, why do the Rich Man, Lazarus, and Abraham have eyes, fingers, tongues, bosoms, legs to carry a warning, etc.? Obviously, "disembodied souls" by definition do not have bodies, and thus can't have eyes, tongues, fingers, bosoms, etc. Now, before anyone jumps to any conclusions, we need to remember that 2 Corinthians 5:1 KJV plainly identifies only two types of bodies - the mortal and the resurrection - and that's the only two types of bodies God's Bible knows about. There's no mention in Scripture of any third type “interim body” for the dead prior to the resurrection, so extra-Biblical ideas about a "disembodied body" or "ghost body" or "temporary body" are irrelevant. 2. ABRAHAM'S LITERAL BOSOM? Lazarus was carried “into Abraham's bosom" - are we to believe all the righteous dead up until that time have been carried into Abraham's literal bosom? How big can Abraham's bosom be? Now, those who claim “Abraham's Bosom” is a literal, actual name for “heaven” or “paradise” need to read Luke 16:23 KJV which says the Rich Man sees Abraham afar off and Lazarus "in his bosom” - in the bosom of the man himself - which is physiological, not geographical. 3. LYING EYES? The Rich Man is able to see “Abraham afar off and Lazarus in his bosom” aka “place of comfort” aka “the kingdom” - but Jesus Himself said the wicked won't see the righteous in the kingdom until the end, in the Judgment, when the wicked are told to “depart”. Yet, here we find Lazarus and Abraham in full view of the Rich Man. Now, for those who claim these dead guys are actually in some supposed “holding chamber” next door to hell called “paradise” (now that we've seen “Abraham's Bosom” is a purely fictitious place), we must remember that “paradise” is easily shown from the Scriptures themselves to be where God is up there, not anywhere near hell down here. 4. THE DEAD KNOW NOT ANYTHING (Ecclesiastes 9:5 KJV; Job 14:21 KJV; Psalm 146:4 KJV) These dead guys sure seem to know a whole lot for people who aren't supposed to know anything. 5. THE DEAD DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING (Psalms 6:5 KJV; Ecclesiastes 9:5 KJV; Psalms 88:12 KJV) These dead guys are sure able to remember a whole lot for people who aren't supposed to remember anything. 6. THE DEAD DON'T HAVE EMOTIONS (Ecclesiastes 9:6 KJV; Proverbs 10:28 KJV) These dead guys do a great job of demonstrating loving concern and condescending disdain for people who aren't supposed to be able to. 7. THE DEAD DON'T PERFORM WORK (Ecclesiastes 9:10 KJV; John 9:4 KJV) The dead Rich Man mustn't have gotten the memo that Lazarus had finished his shift and clocked out - permanently. 8. THE DEAD DON'T DEVISE ANYTHING (Ecclesiastes 9:10 KJV) The dead Rich Man was well able to devise a plan to warn his brothers for someone unable to do so. 9. THE DEAD DON'T HAVE WISDOM (Ecclesiastes 9:10 KJV; Proverbs 2:6 KJV) Dead Abraham was well able give wise testimony about the convicting power of the Word of God for someone unable to do so. 10. THE DEAD DON'T PRAISE GOD (Isaiah 38:18 KJV; Psalms 115:17 KJV; Psalms 88:11 KJV) Dead Abraham sure spoke highly of God's Word for someone unable to do so. 11. THE DEAD ARE IN DARKNESS (Psalms 88:12 KJV; Job 10:21-22 KJV) These dead guys must all have been wearing night vision goggles to see through all that darkness. 12. THE DEAD ARE IN SILENCE (Psalms 115:17 KJV; Psalm 31:17 KJV) These dead guys were loud enough to wake the rest of the dead what with all that shouting back and forth at each other across that great gulf. 13. THE DEAD ARE ASLEEP (Psalms 13:3 KJV; Ephesians 5:14 KJV; John 11:11-14 KJV) These dead guys are fully awake and aware of their surroundings, especially the thirsty guy whose completely engulfed in flames of torment. 14. THE DEAD ARE RESERVED FOR FUTURE TORMENT (2 Peter 2:9 KJV; Revelation 20:10 KJV) The dead Rich Man must have been pretty bad to find himself immediately in flames of torment since God Himself says He's “reserved the unjust unto the day of Judgment to be punished”.