James1991 Posted September 14, 2017 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 4 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 13 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 08/27/2017 Status: Offline Author Share Posted September 14, 2017 3 hours ago, gemstone777 said: Hi James! It's good for you to consider these things before making the commitment of marriage because that is a covenant relationship that you make before our holy God. That's not something to take lightly. If you are having doubts, the best thing to do is to pray to God for clarity and be faithful daily in talking to Him about your concerns. It's a little confusing that you think your girlfriend is great, but your mom doesn't approve of her, yet has never met her. It appears you may have said some things about your girlfriend to your mom that negatively influenced her opinion of your girlfriend, since she has never met her. You may want to ask yourself some tough questions and see if you also have a problem with your girlfriend's depression, arguments with her parents, and that she's not a strong decision maker, and then give honest answers. There's an old saying, "Love is blind," and sometimes when you are in "love" you don't always see clearly the things you need to. After a year or so of dating someone you can usually get a pretty good feel of who that person is. It's important for you to ask yourself if you can live with the negative aspects of your girlfriend if she doesn't change or improve. Everyone comes into a relationship with strengths and weaknesses because we are all imperfect. If you are looking for a perfect person, you will never find one. You have to determine if you can live with her weaknesses even if she doesn't improve, or if they get worse. Marriage that honors God is for the long haul. Mark 10:9 Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate. It's never good to go into a marriage thinking you can change someone. You need to accept them as they are just as Christ does with us. As others have said here, it's most important to know that God approves of this relationship, even over your mother. Mothers are not all created equal, but the majority have at least some care for their children and want what's best for them. Is your mom just looking out for your best interest, or is she overtly critical judging someone she has never met? I do see a potential problem because if your mom refuses to meet her/doesn't like her, and they don't get along, it could make for a lot of heartache in the future. These are all things that you need to consider. Two things that stood out to me is that you said your girlfriend had strong faith and she encouraged you. Those both are so very important in a relationship! You don't want to be unequally yoked, and you want a spouse that lifts you up. If you decide to proceed with your relationship it's important for you to talk about things that will effect your future (spiritual matters, where you want to live, do you both wants kids, finances, and your goals/dreams for your life.) The purpose of dating/courting is to get to know the person better and lead to marriage. If you find yourself in a place where you can't see marrying this girl, then you should let her go as kindly as possible. You don't want to play with other people's emotions, as you wouldn't want that done to you. If after all this processing and praying you feel led by God to pursue your girlfriend, then you may want to pray that God would change/soften your mum's heart towards her. You definitely want to be respectful of your mum, but you are now a man and will have to make decisions for yourself. Ephesians 5:31 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. Prayers that you will make a wise decision and find peace in this matter. In Christian love, Gem God Bless Gem 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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