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Dear Recovery Bound- I am in a very similar situation. I have only been married for three years but my husband was a sexual addict. As time passed I noticed it more and more...they hide it well. Like you, time after time I constantly forgave him for what he had done and tried to move on feeling like it was up to me to hold it together and ignore my heart. Eventually, things got unbearable. I ended up filing for divorece. It is SOoooo hard on your heart. I knew he wasn't good for me. I knew that he didn't love me. I knew that staying would be insane....it wasn't safe or healthy for me to stay there, mentally or emotionally. When I left I had this nagging feeling to go back. He WAS my husband after all. The explaination of this is that when you married your husband, you two became one. In the bible it says let no man tear apart what GOD has joined together. That is what is happening. Even though you have grounds for divorce the ripping apart of your souls is dreadfully painful. You wern't "you" for thirty years...you were "us" now it is killing you. I know that you still LOVE him. I still love my husband but I am STILL divorcing him. He doesn't want me and our infant in his life...he wants to have fun and lead a life of sin. He honestly is very unsafe to be around. When you are not sure where you stand on that respect...it is more exhausting emotionally. Now the thing that yoiu wrote about that made me smile was where you said

During a time recently where I had a significant deal of stress in my life I began to have terrible anxiety and panic attacks. They got worse and worse. Do you have a lot of stress in your life? I sought counseling and about a half a year later they are mostly gone. I still occasionally have a little anxiety, but no panic attacks. I highly recommend counseling. You need to get to the root of the problem. Sometimes the problem is something that you would have never guessed. I also recommend a christian counselor...that makes a huge difference. If you have a difficult time with the bill the centers sometimes have funds to help or something called a sliding scale. Look around and get help. Humble yourself enough to get help. Also, Pray....nothing is more powerful than prayer. The LORD may not take your anxiety...(didn't just take mine) he may want you to work through something. Every struggle in life is God's Perfect will and he uses these challenges to bring us closer to HIM. Glorify God in all that you do. God Bless, HIS :hug:

Hi, Wondering, are you a Christian? I have no income. My husband left me when my son was two months old. It has been eight months since. My (unfortunately soon to be ex) husband hasn't been sending money other than a few rare occasions (the money wasn't even enough for a week). I own nothing other than clothes and small items. I had no where to go and no car. I had NOTHING.....except for God. God has provided a car, housing, clothes(especially my rapidly growing son), diapers, food, warmth, coolness, comfort, an education, and tremendous spiritual growth. I am quickly getting on my feet. Six months ago I couldn't even drive. I didn't finish high school (due to dropping out to marry my husband) (I am still quite young) Now, I am in college. I know someone that makes a significant amount of money and spends it all on fun and fast food...there is nothing to show for the work that has been done. Where has all of your money gone? Have you truely been responsible? On the brighter side, I will tell you a true story...(people I go to church with) This couple were going through a though time and ran out of money. I don't know why but they didn't tell any of their friends or ask anyone for help. They eventually ran out of food. They decided to trust God. They set the table and sat down and waited. Very soon there was a knock at the door. A friend of theirs freezer had broken. She asked if she could put the meat in their freezer until they got a new one. Of course they said yes. They began to fill their freezer but there were some steaks and such that wouldn't fit. Their friend asked if they could use them. And they had steak that night. They had NO food and then God provided Steak....not beans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is just like HIM. Trust in the LORD. Even the most responsible have tough times....Hang in their. Try to learn something from the LORD and use this time of trials to grow in your relationship with GOD. The harder times I go through the closer I grow to CHrist. Be thankful for the good times and to (your percieved) bad. Everything is God's will and HIS will is perfect...lean not to your own understanding. I will pray for you. Also, there are many wonderful government programs that could possible assist you. God Bless-HIS :flowers:

Baby Heather, If you are a member of a church they might have something called a benevolence fund. With that fund they should be able to help you for a short peroid of time while providing love and support and helping you to get rehabilitated. If you are not a member of a church there are many churches that still may be willing to help you. They also have womens shelters...not the BEST place, but it will be better than nothing. I highly recommend that if you do not have a college degree that if you have no income go to college and they will give you a pell grant and you will pay nothing. If you do have income and they cannot cover enough I you try to teach the state usually has a program that for every year you teach at a school in need they pay off a years tuition. If you didn't finish high school they have a program that if you get your GED the state will pay you 250 for passing the test. If you have no place to go and no job you NEED to get an education so that you can provide for your kids one day...I am doing that...single mom in school... It will be worth it. Also, you need child support and may be elidgible for alimony. The state can pay you a small stipend until you get on your feet as well as child care (abc vouchers), medicaid healt insurance(with no income you are elidgible as well as your children), Food stamps(ebt). There are SOoooo many resources...use them. Work your way to a bright future....it is so tough, but you can't stay at the bottom. (There are so many people that waste taxpayers money feeding off of the system. In your case, you NEED it. These resources are here to help you improve your life. Use them and dont take them for granted) Please use this time to grow closer to GOD. Pray and READ THE WORD. You can't grow closer to someone you know nothing about. I love JAMES 1:2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perserverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. Trust God's will and remember that HIS will is perfect. I will be praying for you- LOVE, HIS :hug: (you can always PM me.)

Why does he want the divorce? Has he given you a solid reason other than 'I am not in love anymore'? Our situation is so similar that it is acutally a little creepy. Right before we separated when my son was one month old my husband said ' I know you had a c-section and all, but honestly, look at your self...it has been a month, you have really let yourself go...you should be back to normal by now.' As much as that hurt I knew that he knew that I was just recovering(only my belly was swollen and I am quite thin) He didn't expect me to be any thinner than I was. He told me that to hurt me. The problem he was 'addressing' had nothing to do with my weight. I also didn't have a difficult time finding things out...in reguard to your husbands internet 'love' search postings. Did he tell you about it or leave it easy to find?...he is trying to upset you. Don't play that game. Best advice I can give... Get counseling for yourself if your husband will not go (by the way, you don't have to have a problem to get counseling...he could just go there to express his opinion for your sake), while staying determined to preserve your marriage don't try too hard...Trust God with this marriage...your husbands heart is for God to change...not you...That is my biggest mistake...you cannot change how he feels.. trying to do that will drive him away. At the same time, serve your husband and love your husband unconditionally-keep your vows. Do not beg him to try or to love you. Do not explain, lecture, nag, or whine to him...it just drives him away. ONLY love him, serve him, and pray for him. I am not insinuatinng that he has, but in the event that you are being (or have recently been) physically assualted, leave. Even in the bible you have GOD's blessing to leave. About your weight, don't be so hard on yourself. Just out of curiosity, what do you love about your husband? Do you enjoy his company? Are you ever happy around him? Do you think you have done anything wrong? You do not have to answer these if you do not want to, but they better help me to help you. I have learned a lot going through this...Would love to share .I am praying for you. Use this time to grow with God. I really love James 1:2. I really commend you for seeking Christ in this difficult time. Love always, HIS :hug:

Have you tried Christian counseling? Would he be willing to go? I highly recommend it. I am going through an extremely similar situation. In my case counseling didn't work because he wasn't willing to try. Do not forget how powerful prayer is in all situations. Every tough time WILL in certainty lead you closer to God in the end.(James1:2,Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be strong in character and ready for anything...1:12God blesses the people who PATIENTLY endure testing)*I recommend not stopping there* If your husband is not a Christian this may be how God is going to work to save him. Try to show a Christ-like love. My biggest regrets is trying SOooo hard to keep the marriage together that I think it made him want to try less. Is there a specific reason he wants a divorce. Have things been bad for a while? (You don't have to answer anything you don't want to) (you can always PM me) I can honestly say that I know the hurt. I still love my husband dearly. I have an infant...it's tough to see daddys with their sons and know that I was married years before my son was born and I did it right...then look at how wonderful that little boy is and know that he father CHOOSES to be absent from his life for his selfish endevours. I have forgiven him. It still hurts though. It is easier for him to do for himself then maintain a relationship and support a baby.(I have filed for child support) The best advice I can give is to trust in GOd and be prepared to campout in Gods 'waiting room'. Sometimes God makes us wait a long time but what I tell myself Daily is that God's will will be done. I will trust in HIs will because His will is Perfect. However this turns out it will turn out JUST RIGHT. Hope I helped :t: Love, HIS :hug: :flowers:

Tess, I see that a lot of people have recommended that you read while you are grounded. I recommend the BIBLE...it is the most important book, not to mention quite interseting as well. I hope Friday comes quickly so that you can get back to normal. In the mean time, try to use this time to do something useful. GOD BLESS, HIS :hug:

P.S. If your heart check turned out fine and your faith is strong....it was most likely just a REALLY SCARY, awful, bad, terrible dream. The way you build your relationship with God is by praying and reading the word(among other possible things like serving). Because if you really liked someone you meet at school you want to know more about them....same concept. The more you know God and talk to him the better you will understand and closer you will be to him. JUST a note...having a strong relationship, praying, serving, and reading the word will not save you...only the blood of Jesus saves...nothing else. When one dies and God asks why should I let you into my heaven you should say. Because your son died for me and took away my sins...so now I am blameless. He paid the price for me....(NEVER say and I tried to lead a good life..or I serve or AnYTHING like that!!!!!!!! that is a slap in Jesus' face saying that HIS perfect life was not enough to get you into heaven...like thinking you have to work too to save yourself...Only Jesus.) I hope I helped

Hey, I do not know what to make of that dream. Only you know your heart and where your faith stands. Every one needs to check their heart. I check mine daily. Check yours, then you can answer your own question. Faith, is trusting in something. If your faith is in the LORD then you just need to trust that when the time comes that you have a room in his kingdom. Ask yourself, Do I have a personal intimate relationship with God? Do you spend time talking(praying) to him? Do you try to live as he tells us to(we all fail, but his children should still try)? Do you try to glorify him...or make everything centered around him? Do you love him? It all boils down to one thing. Do you believe that Jesus was sent by The Father and led a perfect and sinless life, took your place on the cross and died for your sins, and rose to heaven on the third day. If you died right now and God asked why should I let you into my heaven ...what would you say? There is a right answer. When you sincerely know the truths, and love, trust, worship, serve, seek, believe, and have faith in God you will not wonder anymore. Peace be with you -HIS You will be in my prayers

I am praying for you Shorti. It is my sincere hope that God will show you what is right and good and draw you toward himself thus giving you a desire to do that which your Heavenly Father would wants his daughter doing. My prayers will not cease. I love you sister and pray for your wisdom and safety. God Bless, HIS :hug:

The Lord is your husband...you would be commiting adultery..Maybe this will help.. Ezekiel 16Then another message came to me from the LORD:"son of man, confront Jerusalem with her loathsome sins. Give her this message from the Sovereign LORD: you are nothing but a Cannaanite! Your father was an Amorite and your mother was a Hittite! When you were born, no one cared about you. Your umbilical cord was left uncut, and you were never washed, rubbed with salt, and dressed in warm clothing. No one had the slightest interest in you; no one pitied you or cared for you. Onethe day you were born, you were dumped in a field and left to die, unwanted. But I came by and saw you there kicking about in your own blood. As you lay there, I said, 'Live!' And I helped you to thrive like a plant in the field. You grew up and became a beautiful jewel. Your breasts became full, and your hair grew, though you were still naked. And when I passed by and saw you again, you were old enough to be married. So I wrapped my cloak around you to cover your nakedness and declared my marriage vows. I made a covenant with you, said the Sovereign Lord, and you became mine. Then I bathed you and washed off your blood, and I rubbed fragrant oils into your skin. I gave you expensive clothing of linen and silk, beautifully embroidered, and sandals made of fine leather. I give you lovely jewelry, bracelets, and beautiful necklaces, a ring for you nose and earrings for your ears, and a lovely crown for you head. And so you were made beautiful with gold and silver. Your clothers were made of fine linen and were beautifully embroidered. You ate the finest foods-fine flour, honey, and olive oil-and became more beautiful than ever. You looked like a queen, and so you were! Your fame soon spread throughout the world on account of your beauty, because the splendor I bestowed on you perfected your beauty, says the Sovereign LORD. But you thought you could get along without me, so you trusted instead in you fame and beauty. You gave yourself as a prostitute to every man who came along. Your beauty was theirs for the asking You used the lovely things I gave you to make shrines for idols, where you carried out your acts of prostitution. Unbelievable! How could such a thing ever happen? You took the very jewels and gold and silver ornaments I had given you and made statues of men and worshiped them, which is adultery against me. You used the beautifully embroidered clothes I gave you to cover your idols. Then you used my oil and incense to worship them. Imagine it! You set before them as a lovely sacrifice the fine flour and oil and honey I had given you, sayt the Sovereign LORD. Then you took your sons and doughters- the children you had borne to me- and sacrificed them to your gods. Was it not enoughtheat you should be a prostitute? Must you also slaughter my children by sacrificing them to idols? In all you years of adultery and loathsome sin, you have not once thought of the days long ago when you lay naked in a field, kicking about in your blood. Your desturction is certain, says the Sovereign LORD.In addition to all your other wickedness you built a pagan shrine and put altars to idols in every town square. On every street corner you defiled your beauty, offering your body to every passerby in an endless stream of prostitution. Then you added lustful Egypt to your lovers fanning the flames of my anger with your increasing promiscurity. That is why I struck you with my fist and reduced your boundaries. I handed you over to your enemies, the Philistines, and even they were shocked by your lewd conduct! You have prostituted your selves with the Assyrians, too. It seems you can never find enough now lovers! And after your prostitution there, you still were not satisfied. You added to your lovers by embracing that great merchant land of Babylonia-but you still weren't satisfied! What a sick heart you have, says the Sovereign LORD, to do such things a these, acting like a shameless prostitute. You build your pagan shrines on every street corner and your alters to idols in every square. You have been worse than a prostitute, so eager for sin that you have not even demanded payment for your love! Yes, you are an adulterous wife who takes in strangers instead of her own husband. Prostitutes charge for their services-but not you! You give gifts to your lovers, bribing them to come to you. So you are the opposite of other prostitutes. No one pays you; instead, you pay them. Those are the words of the LORD My insignificant advice is that I think you are looking for love. You want someone to love you and care about you. You want affection and attention. I can promise that this guy doesn't love you. If he loved you his eyes would looking at you face when he speaks to you ...not your chest. Being bold ...this guy sees you as an object NOT A PERSON!!! I am sorry. I am sure that he is treating you sweetly right now. If he didn't treat you special then he would never get what he wants. Even if this were a circumstance where he was really in love...what about his childern? Do you really want to have anything to do with breaking up a family? I have a nine month old that doesn't know his daddy. We had to leave when he was two months old because he was seeing other women. (We had been married for three years) I tried counseling and praying. I tried serving him better ...bigger breakfast...cleaner house. I couldn't love him enough. It wasn't about love to him. He just wanted to "play the field". Through experience, they are always nice and then when they USE YOU they will no longer need to treat you extra special. What about his wife. Don't you feel bad that she may be crying herself to sleep at night because she cannot do anything to make him love her or care about THEIR family. Also, if you could "make something of this" do you really think he would be faithful to you? He is married and doesn't let that stop him. A man that would risk his family, his job, and risk going to jail sounds very dangerous. (Most murderers are handsome smooth types...) I know that you want love and want to be loved. Please wait for a safe, law abiding, single, christian, young man. Be in a relationship where only good comes and no bad. Glorify God in your choices. If you choose to be with this guy you are being unfaithful to God and your future husband...(being faithful starts way before you meet them) Please, I don't know you but I want what is best for you. Please, pray about this. Make a good decision. I truely want you to be happy. This just sounds Bad. I pray you are mature enough to realize that you can find true happiness elsewhere... you can start with GOD..Love, HIS I hope none of this came across "meanly" I said all of this out of love and I am really worried for you :hug:

I am still praying for you! -HIS :flowers:

I am praying for you. Let the Lord be your strength. I will P.M.you.-HIS :flowers:

Phillip, Your story broke my heart. I think maybe you can see your sin for what it is if you are on the outside looking in. I have a true personal story that I am hesitant to tell but it is worth it if it helps even a tiny bit. I am a twenty year old female. I married the weekend after my eighteenth birthday...I couldn't wait to be my husbands wife. He was nine years older than me. I didn't know at the time but he had a serious sexual addiction. He became interested in pornography at a young age (nine I think). He is going to be thirty this year. When he was your age he was always on the computer and reading mags and renting movies. He had "casual" relations with people he hardly knew-if at all. After a point he didn't even care what they looked like. He did very awful things. He hid things so well that I didn't suspect a thing. But the longer you are addicted to pornogoraphy the worse it gets...Just like drugs. During the beginning of the marriage he started bringing home videos. I objected but he assured me that EVERY man does it and I need to be normal. That made me feel so guilty for telling him I didn't want it around. I started to find videos and mags hidden everywhere. Eventually I caught him having inappropriate relationships on the phone. I voiced my opinion but he would deny something that I saw with my own eyes. You can't talk through something when the person says it never happened. I cannot name everything he did. Eventually, not really caring about me. He loved me at first, but with an addiction like that a man cannot be pleased with the same person...soon you are old news. He quit his job and told me I had to work in an "adult" bar. I protested, but I am abnormally obediant because I came from an abusive home and know the potiential consequences of saying no. I ended up dancing. I hated having people saying sick things to me and grabbing at me. I was no longer a person but an object. That "job" makes a lot of money but he took it all but a few dollars for a cab and maybe food. I would have to call and beg to come home. He would ask how much money I had then say that isn't enough call me in three hours. It was awful. It wasn't enough money for him. I said what else can I do? He told me to prostitute. I was on my knees crying and begging not to have to do it. I said 'I don't want to do it' then he would say,' I know baby, I don't want you to do it either BUT you HAVE to.' I was tortured beyond words. He took all of the money there to. He actually drove me around. Eventually I shut down. I couldn't even get up. He agreed that I could stop and go back to the bar.(I have post traumatic stress disorder now) I did. Months later I got pregnant with our first child. He worked a few days a week and made about six hundred a month. He spent my prenatal vitiman money on magazines. I was staying in the F.R.O.G. at my parents house until my husband could afford to do anything. Eventually I found out that he was having a sexual relationship with my mother. My father kicked him out and I went with him because I couldn't get to my doctors appt.s without him and I couldn't afford the electric. We went to counseling and he sounded ready to change. When I had my baby I found out that he was having a relationship with a girl that worked near him. He would bring me a glass of water when I nursed upstairs ...which I though was the sweetest thing until I found out that he knew that I would be tied up for a while and took advantage of the time for himself downstairs. Things got worse and worse. (The Good news is this is how I came to know GOD) The church helped us a lot..even got us a place to stay..we wern't even members. When my son was two months old I decided that it was absolutely unliveable. I left. Now, my son doesn't know his daddy from a rattle. He has seen him a few times. My husband just gave up. He no longer attends church. He doesn't send money. He doesn't call or write. I will always love him, I cannot live with him while he has welcomed so much sin into his life. He always said 'when I go to the adult book store I see these forty and sixty year old men walking around and I know that they probably have nobody..all they have is those mags. It is kind of sad to see them so alone calling a magazine their friend and their family. I don't want to be like that.' Sadly, that is exactly what he has become and he isn't even forty yet. I have not told you this for any reason but to see it from a different perspective. If you think that that is bad and feel yourself thinking about how sad my husbands life must be or maybe a little angry thinking that he is a jerk then realize that if you don't grab this bull by the horns and overcome this that this could be you. At this very moment I have a beautiful son(no money, but I feel rich) and he has a stack of dvd's. He isn't an awful person. We had good times before the addiction was obvious. He is known as a good person. But when it comes to his object of addiction he is out of control. I actually read this verse in Church today and thought of him...maybe it will help you. Ephesians 5 'Follow God's example in everything you do , because you are his dear children. Live a life filled with love for others, following the example of Christ, who loved you and gave himself as a sacrifice to take away your sins. And God was pleased, because that sacrifice was like sweet perfume to him. Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity, or greed among you. Such sins have no place among God's people. Obscene stories, foolish talk, and coarse jokes-these are not for you. Instead, let there be thankfulness to God. You can be sure that no immoral, impure, of greedy person will inherit the Kingdom of Christ and of God. For a greedy person is really an idolater who worships the things of the world. Don't be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the terrible anger of God comes upon all those who disobey him. don't participate in the things these people do. For though your hearts were once full of darkness, now you are full of light from the Lord, and your behavior should show it! For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true. Try to find out what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, rebuke and expose them. It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. But when the light shines on them, it becomes clear how evil these things are. And where your light shines, it will expose their evil deeds. This is why it is said, "Awake, O sleeper, Rise up form the dead, and Christ will give you light." If you like to read, I heard that the book EVERY MAN'S BATTLE was very good. Also, I don't know enough to recommend it, but I heard of Pure life ministries. You can live there and they set you up with a factory job...it is a christian facility. You would have to pay-of course. And there is a deposit but I do not know how much. I have read a lot of this topic and I say this not only out of personal experience, but the experts agree DO NOT MARRY before you get this undercontrol...Many men think that when they marry that the problem will disappear but it wont it usually tapers off then comes back worse than ever. I will pray for you. Please keep me posted on how you are doing. I will rejoice the day you overcome this battle. I actually had to file for divorce this past two weeks. He said that he doesn't feel like trying. Please, don't be like this. Make a life. Learn to love others instead of yourself. Put God above yourself. Please him not your desires. I always told my husband. You can have your heaven for a short time here and it will never satisfy you, or you can have your heaven in paradise for eternity finally being fulfilled. Your Choice. GOD BLESS you and I will pray for you. I hope I didn't write too much or say anything "not postable" I really hope this helps.

I have a lot of family that claim to be christians. They profess Christ..they say that they believe in God and that Jesus died on the cross. (I live in the bible belt) Where I am you hear a lot of pastors say that "all you have to do is believe and you will go to heaven" I thought I was a christian for a long time but I wasn't. Just because you claim that you believe something was true means nothing if you don't act like it. If you really believe in God, then you will act like it. When I recently asked my grandmother about where she stands in her faith, she said I am a christian and I believe in God (and she was offended) then she said we don't have to go to church to believe, and we even pray sometimes. All I can do is pray for her and gently speak the truth. For someone to know that the Lord the same guy that made the heavens and the earth wrote a book (through people) for them they should be reading it every day. If you believe so much, you would act like it. All you have to do is believe because when you believe all the rest (charity, love, peace, patience, kindness, self-control, faith) come naturally. Of course you still sin but it actually bothers you to death because you notice your sin when you become a christian. You want to go to church and fellowship. You love him because he is real. It saddens me because too many people believe in God with a santa type of belief. I am so worried about my family, but sadly, that is how many many people that claim to be christians are. Christianity is a growing religion because everybody wants to go to heaven but not all makes the simple effort to know God. So, again, they just say I believe, then go right back to their sinful lifestyle. On the subject of getting mocked and ridiculed, a lot of people don't understand christians. Me and my mother had a debate not too long ago. I had just gotten shorted at the store by ten dollars. I was certain that I gave the cashier a twenty(that was the only bill I had plus I always look and say what I am handing them) the lady said that I gave her a ten then said she doesn't even have a twenty in the drawer. I told her I was sure. And to maybe check the floor and the counter. She didn't "find" my money. I was not happy because I was short on money. I gave her my number and said that if you find it please call me.(It was only two value meals worth of money...if you think of it that way) My mother said that christians let people run over them all of the time and that is stupid and she said I believe in God but nobody runs over me. I asked her what she meant. She had recently had a similar situation and she said I called him _______ and told him he better give me my____money. I said thats awful, she said I got my money back. I asked her if ten dollars was worth sinning. She said yes. I said that that is like nailing Jesus to the cross all over again. She looked shocked and it bothered her but she shut it out and ignored it. I think a lot of people are like this.Also, about the gay marriage thing, I hope that I offend no liberals, but we have so many liberals"democrats" that believe that anyone can do whatever they want as long as no body else is directly affected by it.(I recommend Vote George W. BUSH) Proverbs28:2' When there is moral rot within a nation, its government topples easily" They think it is the gay persons personal business. They do not acknowledge the bibles clear orders. As for prayer in schools, so many people just want something to argue about. "the one nation under God" doesn't actually state the Lord God, Jesus Christ...they just want to have something to quarrel about. I hope I helped-HIS

Dear Zoegirl4God- I cannot determine exactly what you are feeling without conversation, but maybe this will help. Jesus taught about envy in this parable of workers. A laborer worked in the hot sun all day for a boss, and accepted a denarius for it, a fair wage in those days. Yet, one hour before the end of the day, his employer hired another man and paid him a denarius for that one hour. Enraged at what he thought was unfairness, the laborer complained to his boss, who replied: "Friend, I am not being unfair to you. Didn't you agree to work for a denarious? Take your pay and go. I want to give the man who was hired last the same as I gave you. Don't I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?" (matt 20:13-15)also, The chief priests handed Jesus over to Pilate out of envy (mark 15:10), They hated that he had more love inside him than they did. I know that it isn't the same situation, but you should never focus on what you don't have. As christians, we know that we deserve nothing. It is by grace.....an undeserved gift... that we are loved or that we even exist. Christ didn't have to die for us...but he did. We are expected to bear his image by showing the fruits of the spirit......peace, joy, love, goodness, self-control, patience, and kindness. I used to audition for plays and know how difficult it can be when someone gets the part you want or just the fact that you didn't get it and you wanted it more than anyone else possibly could have....it will make you sad but bounce right back...keep your eye on the prize. Nothing in this world could come close to how wonderful life with the Lord will be. When things get tough, I always remind myself ...I wanted that so badly, but eventually I am going to have unimaginable treasures in my room that was specially prepared for me by my Father. I really don't want you to feel really bad about yourself if you don't get the part. I hope you know how valuable you are in God's eyes. Also, I wouldn't determine someones value or even form an opinion based on weather they get a good part in the school play...if any. No matter what you do in life there is bound to be someone better than you. The bible warns us about compeating...when we give money to the church, we should do it in secret so that we do it for the right reasons, we should not brag.(proverbs), We have a sinful nature and everybody has a tough time not compeating...Proverbs 27:4'Anger is cruel, and wrath is like a flood, but who can survive the destructiveness of jealousy?' Also, prov25:27' just as is so not good to eat too much honey, it is not good for people to think about all the honors they deserve.' Personally, If my friend complained about the part she got and I wanted I would say something like, I don't know, If that were me, I would just be so happy and thankful to have the part that"whatever she is complaining about" wouldn't even matter. I don't recommend pointing out what she is doing wrong..Proverbs 17:9'Disregarding another person's faults preserves love; telling about them separates close friends.'Do not let this affect your friendship...even if she gets the parts and complains...proverbs 18:19 'It's harder to make amends with an offended friend than to capture a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with iron bars. 24 There are "friends" who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.' 20:6' Many will say they are loyal friends, but who can find one who is really faithful?' I hope that things turn out well and I will have you in my prayers. No matter what happens trust in God and his will Prov 16 'We can geter our thoughts, but the Lord gives the right answer...9we can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps...GOD BLESS YOU.-HIS P.S. Please post what happens, keep me updated! :flowers:

I am praising God that you have been cancer free for eleven years! That is such a blessing. We have too much in common. I had a C-section too. My baby was 'breach-transverse' he was compleatly horizontal. It was scheduled but I went into labor a few hours before the surgery started. There were no complications but the spinal hurt terribly...that was the worst part. I had a son, he is nine months old today. While pregnant I could not learn enough about pregnancy and learned a lot about DES. I as blessed to not have it but am pretty clear about how terrible it is. I am sooo sorry. I am praising God that your faith in HIM is strong and that you do not let this keep you down (even though it is impossible to never get down..just don't stay there) Thank you for your prayers. Love you with a Christ like love-HIS :hug:

Hmmmm...I could never remember to take any medicen if it weren't at night...you must be very blessed to have such a sweet daughter to try to remind you. Also, I would have never thought of carrying a spare dose...very clever. About my dad, I do feel bad about his health but if he recieves prayers I would rather them be for him to find God. For I would rather him know God and have the joy and peace. Escaping Hell and loving his Father is so much more important than any amount of pain in this short (althought it doesn't seem short right now) stay on earth. You are awfully young to have so many physical ailments, I am sorry again that you have to go through this. Best advice is use it to the glory of God. You said something about surgery, then you said (jokingly) that they may have removed your memory, did you have neck and spine surgery or was it brain surgery...that would be scary. Either way you have got to be a much stronger person from it. About the insomnia, I heard and personally tested the theory of wearing socks to bed. I don't like to sleep with socks, but it helps you sleep better. I am doubtful that it will significantly help with insomnia, but it is worth a try. I have a nine month old little boy and with his arrival I experienced the departure of my memory. I am not sure when I began loosing my sanity, but I definately link the memory loss to motherhood. I am always (oddly too often) trying to unlock the house door and occasionly the refridgerator with my car's keyless entry remote. I realize what I am doing when I don't hear the click of the house door unlocking. I have also scooped my food in the sink and dumped my plate in the trash on two occasions! I am just thankful that I have never forgotten my little one. Take care. Stay in the Word...for that will bring you closer to your Father. You will remain in my prayers.-HIS :hug:

Hey, I asked a very wise lady, (she is disicpling me) she e-mailed me this...I have read just the first part of the letter and first let me say that the letter is not written by someone genuinely seeking the Lord but was left on a bulletin board in a youth fellowship area by someone who appears to be an atheist and motive is to confuse. Having said that, it is the most blatent "out of context" problem. I don't have time to go through it all today, but just the first reference used, Paul is addressing the problem of speaking in tongues in the church which was being abused in the early corinthian chuch. When someone speaks in tongues and there is no translation, it can be confusing. This is not a reference to confusion of the message of the Bible. When it comes to thou shall not kill...there is a great difference in the Law given to man and the references to God's judgement upon those who are idol worshippers. God's judgement is certain and a picture of what is to come to those who do not have faith in God to save them from the Wrath of God against sin. It is also really silly to intimate further down that the donkey that was being stolen that was going to carry Christ into Jerusalem. I have to go now but if this person was genuinely seeking I would spend more time but it reminds me of a verse in 2Timothy that says "they are always learning but never to acknowledge the truth just as Jannes and Jambres opposed Moses, so also these men oppose the truth-men of depraved minds, who as far as the faith is concerned, are rejected. But they will not get very far because, as in the case of those men, there folly will be clear to everyone." When someone has genuine questions the Bible also says, "those who oppose him he must gently insturct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to aknowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do His will." It takes wisdon to know the difference. God Bless, .... I e-mailed my friend to tell her that this clairification is not for the author of that outrageous letter, but for many christians that may be misled from reading that. I am confident that I will soon have more clairification for you soon. I will keep you all in my prayers. Love-HIS

Hello Kate- I am grateful that you at least know what is causing the migranes. I am sorry that you have to go through so much to keep them under control. I am grateful also, that you have the joy that God blesses his children with. My father has a difficult time with his back as you do. Sometimes he does well and sometimes he walks crooked...compleatly diagonal. He recently stated that he is a fourty five year old man in an eighty year olds body. I feel so bad for him and that gives me a pretty good idea of what you are suffering through. Have you started back taking your medications? Maybe you should change the time you take them to help you remember. If you remember to brush your teeth every night, it may be easier to take you medication then, instead of trying to take it during the hustle and bustle of the morning, only to pull in the parking space at work and remember your medicen on the counter at home. I never remembered mine in the morning, but never forgot at night. Don't forget to pray and read the word. And SING!....from what I gather, you love to sing. I will continue to pray for you. P.S. I am so glad that you know the Lord and have that joy in your life.-his :flowers:

Hey Ray- I want you to determine why the pastor shared your information. Was he trying to help somebody? Or was he purposely being hurtful. Was it able to be classified as gossip? According to the bible, we shouldn't gossip. What kind of weird things are people saying. Insults, Rude comments, jokes, or were they all good intentions? I am sorry that you are in this situation. The best advice that I can give you is that we go to church to worship the Lord and fellowship. If you cannot focus on God and worship him unhindered as before, or if your increasing lack of trust affects your ability to fellowship I urge you to find a new church. There is no reason why your relationship with God should suffer. If you think that you could re-build your trust, that would be ideal. If the pastor was truly sorry, I suggest TRUELY forgiving him and building back the trust...building trust takes time. Bottom line is what is better for your relationship with GOD? Also, I would advise you to be cautious about who you speak to about your personal issues. If you don't want your personal information to get out, you shouldn't say anything because even though we aren't supposed to gossip because of our sinful nature, no one is immune. I do think that it is good to talk to close friends about personal things, but you must have a balanced relationship. (I just recently learned this) If you tell someone something personal, they should generally share something personal before you go any deeper. Lest you are left vulnerable.(I recommend the book SAFE PEOPLE if the previous statement interests you.) I pray that you make the right decision and I will be praying for you.-HIS

ALSO, the more naproxen that you take the more your body can get immune to it. The more you take the more you may need. Also, if I am not mistaken it can be addictive. Have you seen the doctor about your migranes? As odd as this may sound, try taking sinus medicen...unless you are certain that it isn't sinuses. Sinus pressure can often feel very similar to a migrane. It took me years to figure out that that was the cause of my 'migranes'. Sinus medicen also has pain reliever in them but not quite like naproxen. I am not insinuating that you have an addiction to pain killers. I have just noticed that it has become more and more common. Take care of yourself. and again, you are in my prayers.-HIS :flowers:

Hi Kate, I know what it is like to battle depression. We live in a fallen world and it is so tough to stay cheerful. You don't have to be cheerful or happy to have joy...there is a distinct difference. Don't forget to be joyful...just marvel at everything you have to be thankful for...your children, a new home, the fact that God chose YOU to be his royal daughter. Even the most joyful person can be depressed. Even skipping medicens for a day can off balance your medicens for weeks. If the depression persists, or especially if you hit an all time low, see your doctor. Sometimes I can feel fine but when something small goes wrong I just add that to EVERTHING that has GONE wrong and feel depressed. Sometimes I can brush it off but sometimes it sticks for a while. When things in this world do go wrong (or at least not as you want them to) try to remember that this world is just a day compared to heaven's eternity...it will get better. While you are here on earth, try to remind your self why you are here. *We are here to glorify God.* I wish I could cheer you up...I will pray for you and STAY IN THE WORD...Love you with a Christ like love-HIS :flowers: