his

Yes, I have heard of divorce care. I planned on attending but I was hesitant and time restricted and didn't end up going. They aim toward reconciliation. They tell you step by step what is involved in divorce...what to do, and how to handle your emotions...right up to how to consider and know when you are actually ready for future relationships. They usually have a decent turn out around here. Divorce care has a good reputation where I come from. If you can, I would URGE you to attend. The one I knew of was done at a christian counseling center...that is where you may want to look. ......GOD BLESS......HIS

Sorry.

Hi Wisdom Seeker ~ I do not know of any advice I can give you. I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you. There is nothing too difficult for GOD and HE WILL deliever you from this someday. Read James 1:2(bottom of my post in green). Take joy...GOD will increase your faith through this. I cannot imagine how difficult this must be for you. I do know that this has got to be so pleasing to GOD that you are overcoming your own temptations for HIS glory. You are my brother in Christ and I am cheering for you...run the race..fight the good fight. Have you considered a personal Christian counselor? I would not suggest any counselor besides a Christian counselor. Continue to pray. GOD hears you...I do not know why he is making you wait, but just focus on the LORD through all of this...he will answer. No prayer is too big for GOD. Let the Lord be your strength. I pray and hope for you that one day you have the family that you speak of...a wife, and some children..with no desire or attraction to anyone other than your wife. I pray that when that happens, you will have a VERY GOD-centered family. Let the Lord be your strength, HIS(his is a her)

Hey...I am slightly embarassed that it didn't occur to me to write that...TSTH aka Suzanne is RIGHT!!!!!!!!! That is SO important. That would absolutely be such an awesome opportunity to witness! I am so full of joy right now just imagining the possibility. SO, I am absolutely in agreement with Suzanne...be true to your word and let that light shine!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey Deidre~ I do not know much about breaking leases and credit, but I would suggest speaking to your landlord. I would think that ultimately it is up to him on weather he would be okay with you breaking the lease. Many people do not report to credit bureaus. He could be an okay guy and be fine with you leaving earlier than expected...expecially with and three month notice and the excuse of a new baby on the way. While not condoning lease/aggrement breaking...my former husband had around thirty thousand dollars in debt (mostly due to a home bought and disguarded) during his younger single days he lived in many apartment complexes and broke most leases..if not all. I will admit that having had the opportunity to see both of our credit reports, I did not see anything at all referring to the broken leases or the apartments in any way. I MUST say, you are very blessed to have such a responsible husband that cares about your credit...that is very important and the majority of younger people do NOT take care of their credit as they should. I pray for the best...please keep us posted...Rejoice in your many blessings!!! I hope I have been of SOME help if any... GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY, HIS

Feeling joy that you made a wise decision for yourself and your child....GOD BLESS YOU!!! ~ HIS

Hello HIS Servant ~ Hearing that you took the BIG step of reaching out and calling someone has brought a smile to my face and joy to my heart. It is truely the deepest JOY when I am blessed enough to see the Lord working in such a mighty way. AIM for the LORD and examine you motives daily. Motives can change with time so you must work inward to love outward. You will remain in my prayers sister. (UNLess you are insanely broke..as I have been many times...counting coins) I suggest you pick someone from your church that isn't overly committed and invite someone to lunch. Pick an eat in restruant...but a cheaper one...that always works best..you know where there are some $5-$7meals... That is how I have gotton to know many people. Also, while I DO get a lunch date on the spur of the moment about 2/3rds of the time...one third (it is actually a lot one of three) of the time I cannot find anyone that doesn't already have plans. BUt I go to my Wednesday bible study and afterwards, I ask someone to lunch. I try to meet someone new much of the time. Occasionally, I will meet someone that will go to Mcdonalds...but I ususally go to the little greek restaurant/sandwhich shop in our area. Actually, this past Wednesday. I tried to ask someone to lunch and she had plans so I asked someone else but she had a prior commitment..SO, by the time I finished talking to her, everyone else had left...SO, I went to get a hot dog...shopped for stickers for my class, and had a good day anyway. When it comes to the pastor's wife... While I think it is wonderful to call her and be friends with her, I would just warn you to be extra understanding IF she cannot give you the time and attention that you are looking for in a friend. If she can...I am SO glad and will praise the Lord... In my experiences, the pastor's wife seems to be over committed often. Also, I had a pastor (not the pastor's wife) confide in me before that they are SO busy..busier than people think. They are usually at the church often.. they are responsible for the obvious things like services and bible studies, they ALSO do weddings, funerals, hospital visits, marriage counseling, but the biggest TIME consumer(while I was NOT given the impression that it was a burden) but the ENTIRE congregation tries to get to know them. THey know everyones pains and joys. THey try to pray for so many..but when they do not have a counseling degree and they have an entire congregation turning to them well, sometimes they feel like (maybe not they...he did) people expect counseling too and there isn't enough time to 'help' everybody and they feel saddened because they want to be there for EVERYONE but with an entire congregation...it is near impossible to talk with everybody regularly. It is really a sad situation. He seemed glad to counsel people in their spiritual lives and be there for many, but just sad that he couldn't be everyones personal friend and walk with them every step of the way. But there IS Jesus..who DOES walk with you EVERY step of the way!!! Many people want a tangible friend instead and it just gets difficult. (btw...the pastor was not from my church..I will strike up a conversation with anyone...especially if they are holding a bible or something. You should see me in the doctors office... The best part is that when you talk to someone about the bible and the GREATNESS OF GOD..well, other people are bound to listen and may become interested... (that was not at the doctors office though..I need to stay on track now...) ANyway, the pastors wife, I would assume has a similar role...primarialy by the women in the church. THey DO (from my experience) genuinely love the ladies, they just cannot always spread themselves thin enough for everyone. (remember, just telling you this to keep in the back of your mind in the event that she ever seems too busy for you...it WILL NOT BE YOU!!!!!!!!! Remember that ahead of time) GLADLY, it sounds like your pastor's wife is not overly committed. I pray that you both will be able to develop a strong friendship. Would you be interested in going to a Wednesday or so bible study? That has always been one of the greatest ways to meet people and grow in the Spirit together..fellowship.... While patience is one of the fruits of the spirit, I also am impatient in growing in my relationship with Christ. I was actually told by the lady that disciples me today, that I need to cut some things out. (I go to two three bible studies, choir, church, sunday school, and am being discipled...(I am not bragging..by all means, I could go to ten bible studies a day and that would give no one any indication of where my heart truely is....you would have to see the fruit and over the net, well, you cannot determine anything...so...no bragging. ) As a single working mom....well, all of my commitments have made me rather..um,...tired. She could tell that I was tired. I then asked her lets put everything on the table... SO we did. SO I cut somethin out...or get rest. Grow in my relationship with Christ, or get a little extra sleep...hummm, seems like a simple choice to me. I just got a smile and a look... Don't know what to make of it, but I do know that i am not cutting anything out. I will however think twice before adding anything else. My point is that even I am impatient.. I don't want to wait years...I want to grow..well, NOW!!! I would be missing out. I welcome misfortune!! I will not admit it when I am going through the peak of it, but before and after I am more thankful than ever... The hard times is what brought me to HIM...let him bring you too. When you have no where to flee, run under his wing (psalm 91) . The tough times to the most for growing spiritually. Stay in the word..that is how GOD speaks to you. Pray...that is how you speak to HIM..though you do say a lot in how you SHOW HIM your love for HIM. Let me know how things are. HIS

wondering....To me it sounds perfectly fine..I am a perfectionist but I lean toward the procrastination side due to lack of energy and time..but when I do start on something..well, I get it right..or at least try a little too hard. The BIG question is... do you feel like you must clean or do you sincerely enjoy cleaning. If someone told you that you couldn't clean for a week would you be okay with that or would you go crazy? I mean, you could put your clothes in the drawers and put your plate in the dish washer type clean, but nothing that isn't absolutely necessary. Seriously, I think that plays a big role... is your cleaning a necessity, or a hobby? I think that it would be helpful to integrate other things in your schedule...dont JUST clean for fun or to get your mind off of things... do other things too...art, poems, study the bible..anything.. no one should be hung up on ONE THing only... let me know how the counseling appt goes. I pray all will be well. Love HIS

Servant ~ Hello again, I think I have already found a buddy in you. Okay, you sound very insecure. I am too. Who wants to get hurt? NOT ME. Tell me, If my one year old son were walking and fell on a toy and scraped his knee should I throw away all of his toys? Should I keep him from walking? What if I only bought soft toys? Maybe it would be safer to look into bubble manufacturers and buy him one to live in.... (I am not being sarcastic..I just like illustrations) What you are doing is not much different. Yes, in this life...you are going to get hurt.... If I followed through with any of these 'solutions' he would be miserable and deprived. Most babies would prefer a scrape. Ask a preschooler (since a one year old cannot talk) at the time of a scrape...many WOULD say I don't want to ever play with a toy and get hurt like that again...but five minutes later when they are playing if you ask to take their toy away they will say no, it is okay..I wont get hurt...I am willing to take that risk again. While we ought to live cautiously, we must LIVE. I know you don't want to feel pain...but to not feel at all in the place of it.....well, that seems terrible to me. I mean I know you FEEL...but you are staying away from LIFE... I know you are afraid to be rejected...ignored...hurt... I hate it when I feel like that. ABSOLUTELY HATE IT. BUT..I also stick my neck out and end up feeling love, kindness, friendship...all of the wonderful things in life. This is a sinful and fallen world. ALSO, be very careful that when..not if...WHEN you do get back out there and it seems like someone is not loving you purely or couldn't care less...remember that....... first, people are often misread...I feel like a lot of people could care less and then later realize that what could they be doing differently...what am I doing that they are not...then everything comes into perspective... Somewhere in the WORD it says that when we see someone elses short comings we must remember that we have the same shortcomings. .............-..........Let he who is without sin cast the first stone. I admit that sometimes within my heart I can be a rather judgemental and slightly prude person. But I remind myself that either I WAS there before or I am there in some way inside my heart... second, remember that we are sinful by nature and no matter how hard we try...myself included...probably more so because I know my own heart... PEOPLE tend to put themselves first. IT IS OUR NATURE...it is NOT acceptable...BUT it is a universal plague...everyone sins. We are a selfish people. When I have to get up because my baby wakes up at three am at the age on ONE well, I am not too happy about that seeing that I must go to work the next day. If it takes more than an hour to get him back to sleep I start to feel a little anxietious..and cranky. WHY do you think I get upset at three AM...because I am selfish. MY BABY doesn't feel well. (he gets gas sometimes) I rock him and when I put him down he cries first because he doesnt' feel well and second because he loves me so much I am a great source of comfort to him...YET, I ignor the immense love that could be felt because I need MY sleep so that I can feel the way that I want to. Yes...that is putting myself first. (and that is just a snipet of the extent of human selfishness...it is ugly.) SO, many people are busy doing things that is convienent for them. AND..while they are loving themselves, do you know what WE Christians are supposed to be doing?....We are supposed to be loving them too. We can only work within and that is how many around are touched by the spirit...by example. The more you genuinely love I have found, the more love you recieve. That is one of lifes biggest secrets. You said that you were afraid to get hurt..I know this may sound old to you, but there is NO FEAR IN THE LORD. What have you to lose. Trust in GOD... if you get hurt let the LORD strenghten you through it...DON"T FORGET TO READ JAMES 1:2...the bottom of my post!!! I live by it. Among many other things. Also, you said that you get the feeling that you had previously gotton the feeling that someone you confided in didn't want to hear about it. Many people don't feel comfortable with hearing someones 'story' when they don't know them well. THey don't know what to do at other times and don't know how to help and end up feeling akward thus, handeling it terribly. THe best way to handle a situation like this is to try to build relationships. The best way to talk to someone or better with someone, is to tell them a little about you and then they will tell you a little about them selves..and back and forth..that is how relationships grow. A little give and take. I would like someone that I spend time with and listen to to be interested in me too and listen to me too. Many people steer away from potential one sided relationships. I don't know if you like to read, but for you I highly reccommend the book SAFE PEOPLE...I think it would help you to create and maintain relationships with people and know how to decrease the chances of getting hurt. It really is an awesome book. I am still praying for you and desire the best for you sister in Christ. You FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT.,...keep your eyes ON GOD....Do not stay in the dark and sit in silence... You know what to do and just thinking about it is tough enough, but YOU CAN DO IT and you WILL be happier in the end. I just know so. I will keep you in my prayers friend. I love you with the BOND of Christ...you ARE my family and you WILL get through this. SUGGESTION....please consider reading a little of the WORD that GOD the Lord the one that made Heaven and Earth...sent for you..even if just a sentance...the bible says THE WORD WAS GOD...the spirit speaks to you through the word.... Also, try to pray.... Your FATHER, the LORD GOD is waiting to hear from you... NOW, if you are looking for someone who REALLY CARES...well..you know how you would really like a phone call from someone just to hear that they care...well...he has been ringing and is now sitting by waiting ..and he delights to hear from HIS children. GOD BLess you, HIS

Hey HIS Servant ~ I am a young Christian....I suppose In a way, I am a little over a year old. I do know that the feelings you are feeling are normal. People go through depression..more than you would realize. I don't understand why SO many people have the anxity/depression but 90% try to hide it. Any way, I will pray for you on that. Sometimes it comes from a source of stress and insecurity....and sometimes it is chemical..I do not know enough to say anything in certainty, but it is possible that it will oneday will go away. In the least it is highly likely that you will gain much more control over the situation. NOw, about wondering if people miss you. Why do you feel as though that is a bad thing. I would suppose that MOST people have a deep desire to be loved... we are created to love. I think a lot of people are so busy and don't think to call. Also, they would assume that you may be out of town or anything...there are a million possibilities. Admittingly, when there is someone at my church that is out for a peroid of time I plan on calling them within that first week. Somehow, my schedule and etc. seem to side track me the majority of the time preventing me from ever making it to calling my dear friends. After the second week I am sadly too embarassed to call. I am ashamed to have not called sooner and true to our guilty nature, I hide behing 'the bush'. It is hard to feel the love around, but it is there. When I feel like that (and I do feel like that) I just try to think well how does EVERYbody else know that they are loved. How do they know that I love them. Then I realize that I don't do anything more then they. If no one had been calling you, call someone yourself.... I know that it sounds silly, but it works wonders... Try it. Also, the lack of going to church, reading your bible and all sounds like a result of the depression. Even though things seem pointless, if you push yourself you will feel much better in the end... I am not suggesting that you push yourself beyond what is expected from the average person on the average day. Just MAKE yourself do what you would normally do before the depression arrived. The backslidding (from the knowledge I have of it) is not someone turning their life away from GOD, but rather losing their focus. I know someone that was a decent person and then started doing a lot of sick things... awful things. THey chose this lifestyle and embraced it and said I don't care about GOD or anything he says anymore...that is NOT backsliding...that is turning away from the GOD that died for you.... Remember when Jesus was walking on the water (if you don't it is okay...just read on) and He told Peter to walk...he was looking in HIS eyes and staying on the water just like Jesus...BUT when Peter took his eyes off of Jesus, he started to sink.....he lost his focus. If you keep yourself CHRIST focused you are going to do really well. All people turn away for a time and start to sink... just don't refuse HIM..or you will drown. Personally, it does sound to me as though you have become backslidden. YOu are in a low point and have drifted away from GOD. I pray that you come back instead of just turning away. If you still love HIM, and SEEK him, and desire to know HIM better then you are doing just fine. The brightest side of this is that USUALLY when one backslides in their Christian walk, they grow closer to The Lord in the process. Like a child in the store...and the parent says lets go and the child doesn't listen...so the parent heads out the door and the child comes running and clings tightly to the parent because they realized how foolish their priorities just were...that they would rather stay in a store looking at a toy than be with their beloved parents. (It doesn't even begin to express the relationship between us (christians) and GOD...but it is the best illustration I could think of). I consider my relationship with GOD to be very strong...but there were many peroids of depression and anxity and just hard times and I felt so badly that I couldn't read my bible and I couldn't bring myself to pray. I would just pray quickly that I am sorry, I still love you, I know this isn't too big for you, but it is too hard for me...I just cannot spend time in the word right now with you because I am having such a difficult time right now. ................................. The hard times are what bring us closer to GOD...read James 1:2...or the bottom green part on my post.. I live by that. I have definately lived through some abnormally difficult times....harder than many...but by far, not all. I have all my misfortune to thank for the treasures I have recieved simply from knowing MY GOD!!! Do not take your problems out on GOD..rather, bring them to HIM... Try to pray...he is REAL...HE IS ALIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He DIED FOR YOU>.....and HE IS waiting to hear from you. Praying is not difficult. Just say a word. I teach preschool and they are JUST learning to pray. ONe little girl simply prayed 'GOD, thank you for making gummy bears.' We didn't even have gummy bears..she just wanted to thank HIM for inventing them I suppose...but I just KNOW that that made my LORD smile. So many people forget WHO HE is and that HE is ALIVE...right now...waiting to hear from you. Just rest assured that if you do love your LORD, and TRUELY seek him and havn't denounced HIM, then this will bring you closer... Many people feel guilty after a bout of time away from GOD and stay away out of guilt but GOD doesn't want us to feel guilty. HE WANTS you to come back...so feeling guilty and staying away from YOUR GOD is actually going to disappoint HIM. LIVE FOR GOD...not yourself...or that would make you your own GOD...(although we all tend to put our selves first over GOD...it is a constant struggle with our sin nature...) LIve is a battle...keep fighting. You cannot backslide if you aren't pressing forward... that would be called turning the other way intentionally. I will DEFINATELY keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I know that this is a tough time and pray for the best and a strenghtened relationship with GOD for you. LOVE, HIS (ps, I hope cats will come and leave you a post..SHE has a lot of wisdom..I am always confident that she is on target.)

Hey Dear Judy ~ I was just wondering, Do YOU thank HER EVERY time she picks you up and EVERY time she takes you home? Just wondering. Actions speak louder than words. ALso, maybe she is the type of person that feels owed...not that it makes it right. You should pray for her...if she isn't a dedicated Christain, that is a huge problem. (I am open to ALL of Cats as well as others input.) Cats, I may be wrong...BUt if this lady had a better relationship with GOD then she will bear the fruit of the spirit and she will have kindness among the others....thus, solving this problem...I don't know, I am just using what I know. Love ya, HIS

Cats and I have spoken. I really misunderstood a lot of what was said. Cats is OKAY! I like her. I am slightly...ok, utterly embarassed that I could misunderstand so much so greatly. I have a lot to learn on my spiritual journey. She and Yod are good friends..I thought she didn't like him. Anyway, apology accepted...NOW, I extend my apologies. Love, HIS

Praying

Quote: Judy, I don't know why people don't take the ENTIRE Word of God (not meaning you) and consider context as well. Cats Meow.... You are very hurtful and discouraging. I don't know how old you are but some of us are young Christians. If I am pursing GOD will all of my heart, going to Wednesday bible studies...morning and night, reading daily and nightly, being dicipled, attending Sunday morning services on Sunday and evening services, praying constantly throughout the day...some short prayers some long...many taking over thirty minutes just me and HIM, if I got a job at Christian school working with the preschool, and I serve GOD as best I am able under Grace because I love him and WANT to serve HIM, not because I HAVE to, if I am doing the best I can to be a mature Christian as fast as I can...IF I pray for wisdom throughout the day as well as for a closer relationship with HIM and to let my light shine brighter so that others may see and turn to HIM as well.................IF I do all of these things and seek with ALL of my heart, what should one do...I don't know the entire WORD yet...I read it, but all of it is not embedded into my heart yet. The lady that diciples me...if I ask her a question she can say OH, I is right here in this book in this chapter in this verse....she is teaching me about context and inductive study. I am LEARNING. If you are a mature Christian, you HAD to start out somewhere. You, previously, had said 'rightly divide the Word of GOD', perhaps I misunderstood what you meant, but I take that offensively because I do not want to divide the Word of GOD..I actually thought the Word could not be divided. You seem as though you look down on those that don't know as much as you...without love. You said you don't know why some people don't take the entire Word of GOD and consider the context...WELL, I consider the context when I know it and when I don't I fall on it and tell those I am not sure...I did type 'Thought maybe that would help' when I posted my OBVIOUSLY inaccurate verse. So what is your opinion, Cats...should only people that are spiritually be allowed to post so as not to make a mistake or should all with pure motives that truely seeks GOD be allowed to post. You seem to look down on the posts that you disagree with. And you discourage. I TRY! Should I stop. I just want CATS opinion. I truely think that there aren't many people that are spititually mature my age, it takes a long time to study, understand, engrave in your heart, and apply all of the Word. By the way, Jesus loves to give more than you. You may as well love to give more than me. Not sure. That is for GOD to care about. Since he is the reciever. I guess, I wont worry so much on what the world thinks about my spiritual maturity, I have a very close personal relationship with GOD and remember Him through my days. I gladly proclaim Him...I try to glorify HIM... I love Him. When the sky is beautiful I thank HIM. When I get onto the interstate without a lot of cars on the entrance lane I praise HIM...(I hate merging) and thank HIM for ALWAYS clearing it for me. When I eat something yummy I thank HIM, when I look at my son, I praise HIM, When I am sad about my husband leaving us, I thank GOD for being my husband, when I actaully have enough for gas, I thank him, when I see the beauty I marvel...I tell HIM how awesome and mighty HE is. Even if my son keeps me up until three am, I STILL get out the word and pray...not a short prayer...NO, I don't go on and on about the same things...I talk to him and spend personal time with HIM. Should I sit on the sidelines because I don't have as much wisdom as you? Should I keep my mouth closed because I do not have as much knowledge? I will admit, I don't fly through my bible. I have read the same five chapters daily for the past two weeks..I want to understand them...I don't want to fly through. I want to grow. God doesn't let us grow over night. I have grown tremendously over the past year from knowing nothing to being up to par in bible studies,..you know, not asking simple questions, like how is GOD and Jesus and the holy spirit one, I am on the same page I ask good questions and I ask a lot of questions. If my advice is worth anything to you and if you are not prideful, I suggest you water the young Christians and HELP us grow instead of making us feel like we are appearing against GOD by not knowing as much as you....as a mature Christian you can help GOD with HIS children, or inhibit them. One Of Gods Royal Daughters, Your SISTER in Christ, HIS