NewlySavedGirl

So an update, Things get worse and better. There has been no sex(in any form) since last post. We pray together more and I feel have gotten a much better handle on the situation. I spoke to a friend and he put things in perspective for me on the importance of refraining. We also looked at dates for marriage (and because he still wants to wait until after his program is done) its looking like Summer 2012. Which is closer than what I was thinking (winter 2012-2013). He said that once he graduated it would be up to me how much longer I wanted to wait (depending on size of wedding ect.) So, for me, its looking like summer 2012. I don't need a huge expensive wedding. I just want to be married to my guy The downside is that I have unofficially moved in with him due to an emergency situation at my moms house. My older brother lost income and was going to be evicted from his apt. My mom decided she'd push me out and take him in. She did this knowing I had somewhere to go and he didn't. My mom is not saved and has no issue with premarital sex so has no understanding of the burden that she put on me and to attempt to explain it is tiring. So far things are pretty ok. I joke that he is creating a monster and by the time we get married i would have suppressed my sexual urges for so long that I will no longer have them. I guess at that point I'd be ready to be a wife....haha

Rofl!

It is for either accountabily or reconciliation. I jus think women would think twice if there were cinsequences for her to. Ive met girls that exclusively date married men. Fun with out worry plus the men pay for them take them expensive places, pay their bills ect.....they r part of the problem and should be responsible for part of the consequenses

I cried

I had given cheating spouse "walking papers" and of coarse he wanted to come back after I had moved on with my life. His mistress was one of the agressive nature, calling and harassing me and all types of other ****. I wonder how it would have played out differently?? Just a thought. Up to speed that was a long time ago and he has since broke up with her and (after a few other relationships) found a wonderful girl that he is going to marry. (I pray that he has learned his lesson and treats her well) and I am very much inlove with the man in my life. The kids are well adjusted and we all (all 4 of us) mutually respect each other THANK GOD!! That was something that I prayed for and received

I also thought that it was all about "revenge" at first as well then I read the following" When a wife sues her husband

I actually like this the most. I am at his house about 50% of the time anyway. The prob with moving into my moms is that my 2 kids and I are already sharing a room as it is. Knowing that it was going to be a temp situation for a better end I decided that it would be better to make that sacrifice (I had a 2bdrm when I was working full time) so that in a year I could make a few more thousand/year. I the meantime, we talked last night about really behaving (despite how hard it is). We'll see how it all goes. Thank you so much EVERYONE God Bless Of course I wish for your obedience to God ... but also God has said this advice 1 Cor 10:11-13 11 Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come. 12 Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall. 13 There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. KJV point being you have already failed in your own strength.... you need to use availabilities around you like being alone together only when the children are with you or only in public places etc... You must use whatever God provides you for obedience in this matter! Definitely not your own strength! Love Steven Thank you =)

So a friend of mine was talking about lawsuits against mistresses. The claim is called "Alienation of Affection" out of interest in this idea I googled and there are 7 states in the US that have had successful cases with this. What are your feelings on this. Personally I think its GREAT. Not because a price can be put on these action s but because attaching punitive damages to these actions may actually make people think twice about knowingly sleeping with a married person.

I so hope that is not true. In my last marriage the only thing that diminished the "drive" was the cheating

I actually like this the most. I am at his house about 50% of the time anyway. The prob with moving into my moms is that my 2 kids and I are already sharing a room as it is. Knowing that it was going to be a temp situation for a better end I decided that it would be better to make that sacrifice (I had a 2bdrm when I was working full time) so that in a year I could make a few more thousand/year. I the meantime, we talked last night about really behaving (despite how hard it is). We'll see how it all goes. Thank you so much EVERYONE God Bless

Actually he lives in a 1bdrm apt & i (this summer) moved back home with my mom to work part time & go to school full time for nursing. So it would actually be more costly to move in.

Are u saying that when we kiss my mind should be with God?

Thanks Nebula, For the most part that is what we've done. It is just really hard. Im not sure what kind of miracle answer I'm looking for is. I think a part of me dislikes being "on fire" and unable to marry. I guess we all have our issues to deal with

Thank you for the "welcome" and the response. Answers to questions: 1. The sexual relationship - I guess we were (or at first he was) trying to get away with"loop holes" and such and we were doing "other things" than penetration. This eventually led to actual intercorse. He ended up feeling really bad about it and made it clear to me that this could not continue. I ended up feeling bad about making him feel bad. It was more than obvious that he wished it never happened This, by the way made me feel like crap "I wish i never slept with you" is not exactly on the list of romantic things you want to hear. But, I understand. It had been confusing to me. On the waiting two years to marry.....that is completely on him. For me, in my heart and to God, I'm already committed to him. I would spend my life with him ups or downs and be there for him in every way needed. I've been married before & I know what it is about, the good, the bad and the ugly and after surviving a marriage void of Christ, I still would marry this man. However, he is in resedency and wants to wait until it is over so that he could properly support me and my two children and any more that we may have. Furthermore, his family feels that I am "after" him because he is a doctor and that the fact that I was married before (reguardless of reason for divorce) and have two children and wasnt saved when we met disqualifies me as a good candidate to marry their son. My feelings on that vary. Some days it hurts. Some days I don't care. I know that the bible says that when I was saved I became a new creature in Christ. That is what I believe. If not for that salvation just would not be possiblee for me at all. Thanks for your thoughts God Bless

1st hello every1! I got saved about 6months ago actually it is a 2 love stories (one with my boyfriend & one with Jesus). I'll try to make this as to the point as possible while including all important points 1yr ago i believed in God but that was the extent. There is a God. Nothing more. Then I met a guy that was christinan through a mutual friend. I fell for him quickly but he was upfront that he could never marry a woman that was not of the faith. I decided that my feelings for him warrented me learning about christianity. I had gone to catholic school and knew what it was about but never felt connected, never had faith. I started to go to church without his knowledge to see if I would "feel" something. I went with him a few times and then to my cousins church. There is where I really started to connect with the Lord and Jesus my savior. I gave my life to Christ and I know that even if this man & I never married, he deliverd the most precious gift any1 ever could to me. My background. I'm divorced with 2 kids and 30yrs old. Yes the divorce was from him cheating and I tried afterwards to work it out but I just couldnt bare for him to touch me and it just got worse and worse. I lived an average life of a person of "the world". Now the current problem. Sex. We talked about marriage and due to his current situation it isn't feasable for another 2 years or so. I have no idea how I'm supposed to last 2more years without being able to be intimate. I love him very much and want to give myself to him. I am committed in my heart and in prayer. How have people maintained celebacy? Also important note. We have had sex a handful of times and have done other sexual stuff but, have stopped everything but hugging/kissing. And it is really very hard. Help anyone?