Yoni

I should add that I wrote a love poem to her after we'd been friends for a week. She loved it and thanked me so much. So she knows that I'm in love with her but I get the feeling that she doesn't want a relationship. She haven't told me to back off. Nor has she accepted my relationship request. She acts as if I haven't declared my love for her at all.

Thanks for your responses guys. I do want to have a relationship with her. Ever since I met her for the first time I've been imagining events of our lives if we were to wound up together. But I'm afraid that these strong feelings is something that will wear off. I've never been in love before so I don't know if she is my true love. I personally wanted to wait a few more years to fall in love, but at the same time I have a strong need to be loved. You see: I have been giving all my life without having anything in return. This goes in everything from buying friends a meal to walking an extra hour to comfort a friend who's feeling blue. I do feel blessed when helping others all the time but I'm getting tired of running out of money because of my generosity and never being cared about. So to sum it up: I want to make her my girl with all my heart. But my low self esteem tells me that I can't be in a relationship because I'm not super fit yet or I haven't got the looks to deserve her.

So I met this girl at a Christian youth conference. I got a deep spiritual connection with her and together with her I was able to renew my faith in Jesus. Before this conference I was very ill and was sent to the hospital many times due to lung and heart diseases. So the time after this conference was the first time in 5 years that I am free from any disease. Here comes the problem. I got some serious heartache, so I went to the hospital. But I later found out that nothing was wrong with the heart. I was in love. From when I realized It was love and not sickness I felt quite happy. But now after 7 weeks of sleepless nights it's getting kind of weary. If she enters my mind I can't get her out. If I see a picture of her my heart aches. Now when the semester starts I'm moving to the city where she lives and I will join the same church as well. (This was planned before I met her.) When I see her in real life I avoid her as much as possible because it feels like my heart catches fire and I have a hard time breathing even when I just see her in the corner of my eye. I have prayed to God almost every night that he should remove my feeling because it's getting out of hand. If you can give any tips of what I can do or just a simple prayer for me, I would be thankful.

Will the cat phenomenon never end ?