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I accepted Jesus when I was a little girl. I pray to Him all the time to take away my guilt but it lingers still. I have to keep praying.

I should also mention there was cheating after we were married too. Antidepressants suppressed the guilt for many years and as soon as I went off the guilt came flooding back and hasn't left. I would rather die than hurt my family. I understand it's keeping a secret but I have to for my family's sake.

Yes I've been going to the same church for 20 years and see a therapist. I also called to have a Stephen minister, who is someone trained to come and pray with you. I can only pray that I feel better before it's too late. I wake up with a knot in my stomach every day.

Hi everyone, This is my first post. I came to this site because I need prayer and advice. To make a long story short I've been suffering from bipolar depression for over ten years. I took an antidepressant that made me feel happy, although not completely managed (I still had manic tendencies). I had no idea I was bipolar and wanted to wean off drugs, because I thought I was just depressed. I was so wrong. After trying to wean off and then going back on the antidepressant, it stopped working and made me so anxious I wound up in the hospital. It has been a ten month journey to find new medication that works. I now know that I am bipolar. During manic phases over several years I had multiple sexual partners, all while I was dating my husband. I have severe guilt over this. He does not know and it would destroy us and our 3 children. I am terrified that I will reveal this to him and our family will be ruined. I feel like the enemy is condemning me for this. It was over 13 years ago and I never resolved the guilt. I know God does not want our family to be hurt. I live with this guilt every day. I pray constantly that God remove the pain but it stays. I don't know what else to do but suffer and pray that someday I will find the right medicine to make me feel better and not so guilty.